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Fire Fighters Jokes

29 fire fighters jokes and hilarious fire fighters puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fire fighters that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Fire Fighters Short Jokes

Short fire fighters jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fire fighters humour may include short firefighter jokes also.

  1. Why did the fire fighter go in to save his friend first, and then fight the fire? Because... bros before hose!!! Wubbulubbadub-dub!
  2. Well if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire ... .....what do freedom fighters fight?
  3. Who decided that the Fire Nation would have Fire Nation Soldiers... when they could have had Fire Fighters.
  4. I find this a little confusing... If crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, what a freedom fighters fighting?
  5. Why did the fire fighter call off work to spend time with his friend? Because...bros before hose!
  6. What's the hardest part of being part-time Fire-fighter, part-time p**...? You always gotta fire h**....

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Fire Fighters One Liners

Which fire fighters one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fire fighters? I can suggest the ones about fire fighting and fireman.

  1. Fire fighters throw the best parties. They've got a lot of hose with smoking hot bodies.
  2. What do you call a fire fighter that was fired? Unemployed
  3. Old fire fighters never quit They just do asbestos they can.
  4. What are the two most common names of Mexican fire-fighter? José and Hose B.
  5. The nation's fire fighters have adopted a new slogan... "Blackened Lives Matter".
  6. There are two Mexican fire fighters, One's name is Jose. The other's is Jos-B.

Fire Fighters Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about fire fighters you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire department jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fire fighters pranks.

Cats and ladders

A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
"That sure is a nice fire truck," he said with admiration.
"Thanks," the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
"Little partner," the fire-fighter said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

A large group of Russian soldiers...

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!"
The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There are two of them."

A little girl lives next to a fire house...

She admires the fire fighters so much she makes her own firetruck. It consists of her wagon, with the team of her cat in front with a string tied to his t**..., and her dog which lacks the testicular string, however has a harness and reins for her to lead him with. The firefighters see it, and have to ask why the string on the cat. She replies "I need a siren too."

Gliding Eagles

Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.
They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.
The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call speed!!'
The second eagle, calmly replies 'Trust me. You would be flying that fast too if your sphincter was on fire.'

A Finnish WWII air force verteran was about to give a talk to an American high school.

He was stereotypically Nordic: pale skin, fair hair, and a heavy accent.
He introduced himself and began with a vivid description of his first dogfight in the Lapland War. "Literally the moment after we take off and got through the fog we saw them. Eight pesky Fokkers were spread out and firing in front of me and my buddies. We had to go in defense position and try to outflank them, but they got flight leader. On second approach we shot a few down and dispersed the rest. On third approach I shot two Fokkers down, but another one got me in the rudder. I went into tail spin and had to bail out. Luckily the f**...-"
The principal of the school suddenly interjected, as at this point nearly everyone was laughing. "Now, students, please be respectful of our guest and where he is from. As some of you may know, a Fokker," the principal said slowly, carefully pronouncing the word, "is a type of German fighter plane used in World War II. There is no need to-"
The Finn had to interrupt, "Excuse me Mr. Principal, actually Fokker is Dutch. We were shooting down Messerschmitts."

During a fire, a women was stuck on the 4th floor with her baby.

Fire fighters instructed her to toss the child out the window, under which they had placed a net, but the mother refused. Things looked grim until a tall, well-built man burst through the crowd and shouted to the woman. He said that he was a professional football player and that he could catch the baby safely. After a few minutes more of reassurances by the man, the mother finally let the child drop. The football player made a breathtaking catch, and everybody cheered. At that moment the man suddenly raised the child high in the air, spiked it on the ground and screamed, "Touchdown!"

A man goes on vacation...

And has his brother watch his beloved cat while he's away.
He calls his brother when he lands and asks about the cat his brother says "oh the cat died."
Devastated the man says "well next time couldn't you lighten the blow a bit?"
His brother asks how
He says "well maybe the first day I call you could say the cat got on the roof. Then the second day you could say like the fire fighters couldn't get him down. And then on the third day you could tell me."
The brother says "okay I'll keep that in mind."
The man asks" so how's mom?"
"She's on the roof"

He Tries To Give A Little Girl Some Advice. But Didn't Expect This Reply.

One afternoon, firefighter Rick was working on the engine outside the Fire Station, when he noticed a little Susan nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides, and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The Susan was wearing a fire fighter's helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
So firefighter Rick walked over to take a closer look. That sure is a nice fire truck, the firefighter said with admiration to Susan.
Thanks, the little Susan replied.
Then firefighter Rick looked a little closer, The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's t**....
Little partner, firefighter Rick said, I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go a lot faster.
The little Susan replied thoughtfully, You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren.

WWII fighter pilot speaks to the class...

When I was in sixth grade, on Veterans' Day, they had an old RAF fighter pilot from WWII come in to speak to the class. He was a sweet little old man with white hair and it was hard to imagine him flying a fighter plane and shooting down enemy aircraft. But when he started to tell his stories his eyes lit up and he became animated, swooping his hand gracefully through the air to simulate the various paths his plane took.
Speaking with a slight Cockney accent he explained, Then I seen this fokker comin' right at me from one o'clock, so I dives and turns right and comes up right behind him. I fired my guns and blew that fokker right out of the air! Then I sees two more of them fokkers comin' up from below, at seven o'clock, so's I….
Just then, the teacher, Mrs. Johnson, interrupts with, I think we should explain to the sixth graders that Fokker was a type of German aircraft.
Oh no Miss. They waz flyin' Messerschmitts.

three men were on a road trip when their car broke down

they walked a mile and found a farm and decided to ask the old farmer if they could c**.... the farmer was a kind man and decided to let the men stay, as long as they didn't touch the three hot daughters. later that night none of the men could help themselves and decided to go for it, thinking that the old farmer wouldn't catch them.

the next morning, the farmer lined up the three men and said "I know you three have slept with my daughters! as punishment, you will each tell me what your job is and I will m**... you according to your profession"
the first man, not being very smart, said "I'm a fire fighter" so the farmer burned the first man.
the second man, a little smarter, said "I'm a police officer" so the farmer went in his tool shed and came out with a beating stick and beat the man to death.
the third man was a lot a lot smarter than the other two and said "I'm a professional lollipop l**..."

My Math Professor Told Us This Joke Today.

A mathematician had a change of heart and decided to embark on a career change to become a fire fighter. He walks into a fire station, approaches the supervisor and demands to be hired.
Even though there were positions open, the supervisor doesn't consider the mathematician very practical and decides to give him two tests before he hired the mathematician.
The supervisor takes the mathematician to the back of the station and lights the dumpster on fire, saying "What do you do?" The mathematician immediately picks up a hose and puts the fire out.
The supervisor now asks his final question, "Now that the dumpster is not on fire, what do you do?"
The mathematician thinks and says "This problem can be reduced to a problem with a known solution." and lights the dumpster on fire.