Fire Exit Jokes
14 fire exit jokes and hilarious fire exit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fire exit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fire Exit Short Jokes
Short fire exit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fire exit humour may include short fire escape jokes also.
- There was a fire in a yodelling school. Everyone was to exit in an orderly orderly orderly fashion.
- My boss fired me because of my lack of knowledge in regards to the workplace. After a few hours I finally found the exit.
- So i went to the record shop and asked the assistant 'What have you got by the Doors? " He said "An exit sign and a fire bucket"
- I opened the fire exit door for a girl to run out with me out of the burning building. I kept it open for her to come. "I have a boyfriend!"
- Told my mother-in-law that she should leaving the building through the fire exit. Sadly there wasn't a single flame on the other side.
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Fire Exit One Liners
Which fire exit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fire exit? I can suggest the ones about exit only and exit sign.
- I opened the fire exit door for my boss. Sadly, there wasn't a fire on the other side.
- Fire Exit For use by flames only
Fire Exit Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about fire exit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fire alarm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fire exit pranks.
A panda walks into a bar...
A panda walks into a bar. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why? Why are you behaving in this strange, un-panda-like fashion?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda walks towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
"Panda: Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
Fire exits
I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, 'You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit.' As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
-Mitch Hedberg
A panda walks into a cafe...
A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons.
"Why?" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit.
The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. "Well, I'm a panda," he says. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. **Eats, shoots and leaves.**"
\* Stolen from Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation
The real joke is in the commas
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.
"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder.
"I'm a panda," he says at the door. "Look it up."
The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation:
"Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."
The Spy Test
Three candidates for being a spy are given the final test. Each one is given a gun and taken to a house with orders to kill whoever is in there. Unbeknownst to the candidates, at that house is each candidate's wife and the gun is filled with blanks.
The first candidate goes in and the spy masters wait outside listening. There is silence and moments later the candidate exits and apologizes, having not fired the gun, saying he couldn't do it. They thank him but inform him he has failed.
The second candidate goes in and the spy masters wait outside listening. There is silence and moments later the candidate exits and apologizes, having not fired the gun, saying he couldn't do it. They thank him but inform him he has failed.
The third candidate goes in and the spy masters wait outside listening. Moments later, they hear shots fired. Pleased with themselves they wait for him to exit. They sit and wait and after a while he finally exits. They congratulate him on passing the test.
One asks "So what took you so long after you shot at your wife?"
"Well the gun didn't work. So I had to strangle her and that took a little while."