The Best 77 Finnish Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Finnish jokes. There are some finnish hungary jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these finnish denmark puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Finnish Jokes and Puns

I once attended a sermon at a church in Finland.

The congregation must have been huge Mortal Kombat fans because they were singing a Finnish hymn.

Why can't a Finnish man go swimming?

Because Helsinki.

A large group of Russian soldiers...

A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians."

Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!"

The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.

Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There are two of them."

Finnish joke, A large group of Russian soldiers...

How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?

He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.

Did you know I have an international bathroom?

When you're heading there you're Russian

When you're in there European

and when you're done you're Finnish

*I'll show myself out*


Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?

Because it's a Finnish hymn.

2 men are in the bathroom. One is seen running in, the other leaving. What are their nationalities?

Russian and Finnish!

Finnish joke, 2 men are in the bathroom. One is seen running in, the other leaving. What are their nationalities?

TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.

FINNISH HYMN!!!

How do you win a Scandinavian race?

By crossing the Finnish line!

joke my uncle told me as a kid

so 3 men go into a brothel what are their ethnic backgrounds the guy coming out........ finnish. the guy going in.......... russian. the guy currently in there........ himalayen

Where does a race on the Swedish border end at?

The Finnish line.

You can explore finnish crimea reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean finnish latvian dad jokes. There are also finnish puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man once became addicted to cocaine from foreign countries. He spent all his money to travel and sample the evil drug in all parts of the world.

Thankfully, he stopped once he hit the Finnish line.

Finnish reindeer

An American tourist arrived at a reindeer farm in Finnish Lapland. He asked the farm owner "I've heard that the reindeer and human vaginas are identical. Is this true?" The farm owner looked at the tourist for a while and answered: "You have to ask my neighbor. He is the only man in the village who has had sex with a woman."

I want to learn the Finnish language.

But I don't know where to start.

My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat.

Waitress: Are you all finished?

Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm Swedish.

I'm going to run a 5K to Finland.

When you enter the country it will be the Finnish line.

Finnish joke, I'm going to run a 5K to Finland.

Just learned the Finnish have a word "KalsarikΓ€nnit" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear.

Signing immigration forms now.

What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?

"Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"

What kind of church music do they sing in Finland?

FINNISH HYMN!


Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other...

They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.

Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway and Sweden?

It ends at the Finnish line.

Why can't Sweden win a race?

Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line

A couple was traveling across Europe but had to stop abruptly at Finland's borders. Why?

Because it was the Finnish line.

Two Russians, Vlad and Ivan, decided to have a race.

Both long distance runners, they decided the end would be a large rock a few miles past the Russia-Finland border.

Vlad was ahead for most of the race, but he faltered soon after the border and was passed by Ivan, who won.

"I told you I would win!" said Ivan.

"You may have won," replied Vlad, "but I beat you to the Finnish line."

A Scottish, fedora-wearing art professor complimented his Scandinavian student.

"Nice skies, Finnish lass!"

A man rode a bicycle from Utsjoki to Helsinki to raise money for a fundraiser

When a news team came along to interview, all he said was "it was a fun trip from start to Finnish"

What does a church in Helsinki have in common with Mortal Kombat?

Finnish Hymn!!

Why did the Winter War only last 3 months?

The fighters were Russian to Finnish

Why do people cheer when they reach the Finland border?

It's the Finnish line.

Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat?

They're especially well-versed in Finnish hymns.

The reverend John Flapps spots a female member of his congregation staggering drunkenly...

along the street. He tries to assist her but they stumble and he falls on top of her. A passing policeman comes up and says "Oi mate, you can't do that in the street"

The Rev replies "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps."

To which the cop replies, "Well, if you're in that far, you may as well Finnish."

Two Finnish men meet in a bar...

Two Finnish men meet in a bar, they haven't seen each other in over 30 years, but used to be best friends. One raises his beer and says 'cheers'.

The other responds, 'are we here to drink, or to talk?'

What did the man in Finland say after his meal?

I'm Finnish.

If you enter the bathroom Russian, and you leave the bathroom Finnish, what are you in the bathroom?

European

I think Jason Momoa looks terrible as Aquaman...

...they should have chosen someone who looks more finnish.

What do you call a religious song from Helsinki that describes the end of a Mortal Kombat match?

A Finnish Hymn

If you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you Finnish you walk out, what are you inside

European

After the World War 2

Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting England. British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland. "A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth. "Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked. Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."

Why can't you ever sing the last verse of a Swedish song?

Because it's not Finnish.

I applied to a citizen of Finland

In the online application there was an odd question. "Are you a nice guy", it said, I thought it was an odd question but I clicked yes. Immediately I was directed to a page saying I was directed to the back of the queue for citizenship, I was confused but I read later in the application and it said. "Nice guys, Finnish last".

What is a marathon runner doing when he starts a marathon in Russia that ends in Finland?

Russian to Finnish.

Why are all immigrants to Finland winners?

Because they all crossed the Finnish line.

If you are Russian when you go to the bathroom and you are Finnish when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom?

European

I realized why Scandanavians are the fastest runners in the world...

...all their races start near the Finnish line.

Why are there no Finnish Muslims?

All of them died out one year when Ramadan was in December

Why is Finland the most competitive country in the world?

You can't find a road, store, or park without a Finnish line.

Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...

... but he's strong to the Finnish!

When does a race through Norway and Sweden end?

When you cross the Finnish line.

What language do fish speak?

Finnish

A European pornstar was filming, after 3 minutes of recording they were done, the lady turned around and said 'is that all?'

He said sorry but I'm Finnish

House of ill repute

There's a house of ill repute, up on a hill. There's a man going up the hill, there's a man coming down the hill and there's a man in the house.
What nationalities are they?

Man going up the hill- he's Russian
Man coming down the hill- he's Finnish
Man in the house- Himalayan

Finnish kids are kind

But German kids are kinder

My book on Nordic cultures is taking a long time to write

I don't think I'll ever make it to the Finnish.

Why will you never win a race against a runner from Finland?

Before you even start, they are already Finnish.

You're running a race in Norway. How do you know if you've passed the last Lap?

When you reach the Finnish line...

New girl at work tonight said she'd majored in Uralic languages, so I had to ask...

"Did you Finnish?"

It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish

Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.

It must be exhausting to have sex with a Norwegian

They never Finnish

Polish is a lot like Finnish

Theyre both used to make furniture shine

What happened when Finland closed their borders?

Nobody could pass telhe Finnish line!

Where did the Swedish marathon end?

The Finnish line

It is claimed that Trump thought Finland was controlled by Russia

Finnish officials shrugged and said they thought the same was true of Trump

My friend's life goal was to try cocaine from all the different countries in the world.

He finally stopped at the Finnish line.

I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works.

What is the animal that steals license plates?
- A turtle.

Do you know what country is first place?

Finland. They are already at the Finnish line

So there was a marathon in Sweden...

...that went all the way to the eastern border. I guess you could say the race ended at the Finnish line.

Why does Finland have the best runner's in the world?

Because they Finnish first

If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.

Norway I'd make this up!

What do you call Finland's border?

The Finnish line

A man goes to apply for Finnish citizenship.

A man goes to apply for Finnish citizenship. He says to the employee, I want to be a citizen of Finland. The employee responds in broken English.
Employee: You nice?
Man: Um... I suppose so.
Back of line.
What's the problem?
Nice guys Finnish last.

I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack.

All I could find were Finnish Hymns.

Why didn't Hitler win the race of conquer

He never reached the Finnish

Have you heard of the international bathroom?

When you go there, you're Russian.
Once there, European.

At the the end, you're Finnish.

So three nordic people walk into a bar

Actually I don't wanna finnish this joke

An old man told me about a brothel

I was sitting at a bar one evening and an old man walked in, sat down beside me and ordered a drink. After a few minutes he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out the window to a building on top of a hill.Β  "That's a brothel. You can tell the ethnicity of the men going there based on where they are. The man going into the brothel, he's Russian. The man leaving, he's Finnish." "What about the man inside the brothel?" I asked.Β  "That man? Himalayan"Β 

When you really have to pee, your Russian to the bathroom, when you walk out, you're Finnish, so what are you while you're inside?

European!

This was one of my dad's jokes

I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him.

It's like a sauna in here.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the finnish sweden jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working finnish helsinki piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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