Finnish Jokes
131 finnish jokes and hilarious finnish puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about finnish that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Finnish jokes are some of the funniest in the world! If you're looking for a good laugh, check out these hilarious jokes that will have you in stitches.
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Funniest Finnish Short Jokes
Short finnish jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The finnish humour may include short danish jokes also.
- Why are priests from Finland so good at Mortal Kombat? They're especially well-versed in Finnish hymns.
- What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect? "What were you doing the night between November and May?"
- What is the most common question the Finnish detective asks a suspect? "What were you doing the night between November and May?"
I'll see myself out. - Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.
- If you are Russian when you go to the bathroom and you are Finnish when you leave the bathroom, what are you when you are in the bathroom? European
- I recently ran an ultra marathon in northern Sweden... I realised that I had gone way off course as soon as I crossed the Finnish line.
- Fun Fact: The Mortal Kombat theme was actually inspired by an old european song of praise. It was a Finnish hymn.
- What do you call a religious song from Helsinki that describes the end of a Mortal Kombat match? A Finnish Hymn
- Did you hear about the bike race that goes all the way across Norway and Sweden? It ends at the Finnish line.
- Mortal Kombat Did you know mortal kombat is based on an old nordic folk song?
Well it's technically a Finnish hymn
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Finnish One Liners
Which finnish one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with finnish? I can suggest the ones about finnish russian and nationality.
- I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack. All I could find were Finnish Hymns.
- What does a church in Helsinki have in common with Mortal Kombat? Finnish Hymn!!
- how do you get from sweden to russia? you cross the finnish line
- Did you know Mortal Kombat was based on an old Scandinavian song? A Finnish hymn.
- What do you call a dead man from Finland? Finnished
- Where does a race on the Swedish border end at? The Finnish line.
- What kind of songs does Sub-Zero sing at his church in Helsinki? FINNISH HYMNS!
- Finland has just joined NATO. It's good to know their application is Finnish.
- How do you win a Scandinavian race? By crossing the Finnish line!
- Where did the Helsinki Marathon end? At the Finnish line.
- What kind of church music do they sing in Finland? FINNISH HYMN!
- Why can't a Finnish man go swimming? Because Helsinki.
- So three nordic people walk into a bar Actually I don't wanna finnish this joke
- What language do fish speak? Finnish
- Why can't Sweden win a race? Because, it always sits right behind the Finnish line
Finnish Russian Jokes
Here is a list of funny finnish russian jokes and even better finnish russian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Russian man drives up to the border with Finland The Finnish border guard takes his passport and asks the man - "Occupation?"
"No. Only a holiday." - Why do Soviet Russians dislike running so much? Because they can never make it past the Finnish line.
- What is a marathon runner doing when he starts a marathon in Russia that ends in Finland? Russian to Finnish.
- Have you heard of the international bathroom? When you go there, you're Russian.
Once there, European.
At the the end, you're Finnish. - When you really have to pee, your Russian to the bathroom, when you walk out, you're Finnish, so what are you while you're inside? European!
This was one of my dad's jokes - Did you know I have an international bathroom? When you're heading there you're Russian
When you're in there European
and when you're done you're Finnish
*I'll show myself out* - A Trans-Nordic race was planned to pass through Norway, Sweden, and Finland, ending at the Russian border. But everyone stopped at the Finnish line instead.
- According to finnish sources there are tens of thousands of Russian soldiers at their border. The only issue is that they're buried six feet deep.
- When you really have to go to the bathroom, you become Scandinavian First you're Russian there, then European, and then you're Finnish.
- If you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you Finnish you walk out, what are you inside European
Finnish Language Jokes
Here is a list of funny finnish language jokes and even better finnish language puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Language nerds 2 polyglots meet in a bar:
\- Hey, what's up, how's going these days?
\- Same old, just polishing my Finnish... and you?
\- You know me, still trying to finish my Polish. - New girl at work tonight said she'd majored in Uralic languages, so I had to ask... "Did you Finnish?"
- I want to learn the Finnish language. But I don't know where to start.
- Did you hear what happened in the Multi-Language Translation Race? Nobody made it to the Finnish Line.
- If you learn all of the european languages, you know which one you have to learn last? Finnish
- I tried to learn all the languages in Scandinavia But I didn't Finnish
- A boy is taking an exam to complete his language class. He arrives at the last question, only to realise he can't answer it. The teacher asks him what the matter is. He replies, "I can't Finnish."
Finnish Drinking Jokes
Here is a list of funny finnish drinking jokes and even better finnish drinking puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two Finnish guys are sitting in a ferry, drinking v**..... After a few hours of drinking one of the Finns says This was fun
The other one replies:
Are we here to drink, or are we here to talk?
Finnish Sauna Jokes
Here is a list of funny finnish sauna jokes and even better finnish sauna puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm hiding in my Finnish Neighbours shed, waiting to jump out and surprise him. It's like a sauna in here.
Howlingly Hilarious Finnish Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about finnish you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean translated jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make finnish pranks.
I once attended a sermon at a church in Finland.
The congregation must have been huge Mortal Kombat fans because they were singing a Finnish hymn.
A large group of Russian soldiers...
A large group of Russian soldiers in the border area in 1939 are moving down a road when they hear a voice call from behind a small hill: "One Finnish soldier is better than ten Russian". The Russian commander quickly orders 10 of his best men over the hill where a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence. The voice once again calls out: "One Finn is better than one hundred Russians."
Furious, the Russian commander sends his next best 100 troops over the hill and instantly a huge gun fight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.
The calm Finnish voice calls out again: "One Finn is better than one thousand Russians!"
The enraged Russian commander musters 1000 fighters and sends them to the other side of the hill. Rifle fire, machine guns, grenades, rockets and cannon fire ring out as a terrible battle is fought.... Then silence.
Eventually one badly wounded Russian fighter crawls back over the hill and with his dying words tells his commander,
"Don't send any more men......it's a trap. There are two of them."
How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you?
He's staring at your shoes instead of his own.
Why does Shang Tsung always enjoy a religious song from Finland?
Because it's a Finnish hymn.
TIL that for release in Finland, the original Mortal Kombat had to be censored in an unusual way. Censors were fine with the gore, but insisted the music be replaced with traditional Christian songs.
FINNISH HYMN!!!
joke my uncle told me as a kid
so 3 men go into a brothel what are their ethnic backgrounds the guy coming out........ finnish. the guy going in.......... russian. the guy currently in there........ himalayen
Finnish reindeer
An American tourist arrived at a reindeer farm in Finnish Lapland. He asked the farm owner "I've heard that the reindeer and human vaginas are identical. Is this true?" The farm owner looked at the tourist for a while and answered: "You have to ask my neighbor. He is the only man in the village who has had s**... with a woman."
My dad is 100% Swedish and this was his favorite joke to tell waitresses when we went out to eat.
Waitress: Are you all finished?
Dad: No, I'm not Finnish, I'm swedish.
Just learned the Finnish have a word "Kalsarikännit" which means getting drunk alone at home in underwear.
Signing immigration forms now.
What did the woman from Finland say after seeing an old man fall in the water, knowing he couldn't swim?
"Oh no, Helsinki! He Finnish!"
A couple was traveling across Europe but had to stop abruptly at Finland's borders. Why?
Because it was the Finnish line.
Two Russians, Vlad and Ivan, decided to have a race.
Both long distance runners, they decided the end would be a large rock a few miles past the Russia-Finland border.
Vlad was ahead for most of the race, but he faltered soon after the border and was passed by Ivan, who won.
"I told you I would win!" said Ivan.
"You may have won," replied Vlad, "but I beat you to the Finnish line."
A Scottish, fedora-wearing art professor complimented his Scandinavian student.
"Nice skies, Finnish lass!"
Why do people cheer when they reach the Finland border?
It's the Finnish line.
The reverend John Flapps spots a female member of his congregation staggering drunkenly...
along the street. He tries to assist her but they stumble and he falls on top of her. A passing policeman comes up and says "Oi mate, you can't do that in the street"
The Rev replies "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps."
To which the cop replies, "Well, if you're in that far, you may as well Finnish."
Two Finnish men meet in a bar...
Two Finnish men meet in a bar, they haven't seen each other in over 30 years, but used to be best friends. One raises his beer and says 'cheers'.
The other responds, 'are we here to drink, or to talk?'
Finnish, swedish and norwegian went to bar..
Finnish, swedish and norwegian went to bar, because life s**... and alcohol is their way to escape it.
I realized why Scandanavians are the fastest runners in the world...
...all their races start near the Finnish line.
Why are there no Finnish Muslims?
All of them died out one year when ramadan was in December
Why is Finland the most competitive country in the world?
You can't find a road, store, or park without a Finnish line.
Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards...
... but he's strong to the Finnish!
When does a race through Norway and Sweden end?
When you cross the Finnish line.
House of ill repute
There's a house of ill repute, up on a hill. There's a man going up the hill, there's a man coming down the hill and there's a man in the house.
What nationalities are they?
Man going up the hill- he's Russian
Man coming down the hill- he's Finnish
Man in the house- Himalayan
My book on Nordic cultures is taking a long time to write
I don't think I'll ever make it to the Finnish.
Why will you never win a race against a runner from Finland?
Before you even start, they are already Finnish.
You're running a race in Norway. How do you know if you've passed the last Lap?
When you reach the Finnish line...
It must be exhausting to have s**... with a Norwegian
They never Finnish
Polish is a lot like Finnish
Theyre both used to make furniture shine
Where did the Swedish marathon end?
The Finnish line
It is claimed that Trump thought Finland was controlled by Russia
Finnish officials shrugged and said they thought the same was true of Trump
My friend's life goal was to try c**... from all the different countries in the world.
He finally stopped at the Finnish line.
I want to try translating a Finnish joke to English and see if it works.
What is the animal that steals license plates?
- A turtle.
Why does Finland have the best runner's in the world?
Because they Finnish first
If you go to a Scandinavian bakery you could Finnish a Swedish Danish.
Norway I'd make this up!
What do you call Finland's border?
The Finnish line
A man goes to apply for Finnish citizenship.
A man goes to apply for Finnish citizenship. He says to the employee, I want to be a citizen of Finland. The employee responds in broken English.
Employee: You nice?
Man: Um... I suppose so.
Back of line.
What's the problem?
Nice guys Finnish last.
An old man told me about a brothel
I was sitting at a bar one evening and an old man walked in, sat down beside me and ordered a drink. After a few minutes he tapped me on the shoulder and pointed out the window to a building on top of a hill. "That's a brothel. You can tell the ethnicity of the men going there based on where they are. The man going into the brothel, he's Russian. The man leaving, he's Finnish." "What about the man inside the brothel?" I asked. "That man? Himalayan"
Why is it impossible to hold a race in Finland?
Because in Finland, every line is a Finnish line. . .
Did you know Mortal Kombat was actually based on an old Scandinavian worship song?
A Finnish Hymn.
Popeye is seen as iconic in America, but how is he viewed in Finland?
Oh, he's strong to the Finnish...
I heard that the new Mortal Kombat boasted Scandinavian music...
More specifically they plan to add a Finnish Hymn.
I just found out my favorite arcade game used Christian music from the 1800s Finland in the background.
Yeah. Mortal Kombat used Finnish Hymns
What line goes through Finland?
The Finnish line.
What do you call it when a Scandinavian dies?
They Finnish!
Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians?
He is, however, strong to the Finnish.
Did you know Mortal Kombat is based off a scandinavian church song?
It was called Finnish Hymn.
A Finnish joke from the Cold War
During the Cold War, a foreign journalist asked a Finnish general what Finland would do if the USSR and NATO would fight a war in Finland.
He replied first we would beat out NATO, and then the Soviets .
The journalist was surprised about the order and asked why.
We are civilized people. Work comes before pleasure , the general replied.
Old Finnish ww2 joke
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting in England after the World War II.
British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland.
"A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth.
"Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked.
Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
A Scandinavian joke:
It would be Swede if I could Finnish it, but right now there's just Norway, cause I always miss denmark.
My wife and I are taking an around-the-world trip. We are going to stop in Finland last.
Because that is where you find the Finnish
Why does the Finnish hockey team not have any fans
It's already cold enough, they don't need any
What's the difference between a race across Asia, and one across Europe?
The one across Europe eventually ends because it has a Finnish line
Many people say that Finland started wars.
I thought they Finnish them.
What kind of song did Sub-Zero, Raiden, and Scorpion sing at their Scandinavian church?
Finnish Hymn!
