The Best 62 Finish Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Finish jokes. There are some finish finale jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these finish ended puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Finish Jokes and Puns

[At a parole hearing] Officer: Tell me, why should you be released early?

Inmate: It's bec..

Officer: Yes?

Inmate: I think I have..

Officer: Go on.

Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

My brother who has a stutter is in prison.

It's just heartbreaking knowing he will never finish his sentence.

Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel...

Ground Breaking Stuff.

Finish joke, Just finished watching that Documentary on the invention of the shovel...

Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...

and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"

I went to my girlfriend's house last night for a romantic night in...

It was amazing, we had a three course meal with champagne over candle light, we then snuggled up on the sofa, to watch a movie, then, when we went up stairs, I let her get changed, while I spread rose petals over the bed, then, we had the most amazing, mind blowing sex that I've ever had, but just as I was about to finish, her parents walked in...

I am now banned from babysitting.


Doctor's orders for more peace in your life

A doctor on TV said that in order to have inner peace in our lives after this election, we should always finish things we start. Since we all could use more calm in our lives, I looked around my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished.

I finished a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a choclutz. Yu has no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

So the painters finish painting my home...

and they hand me the bill. I notice that by the paint it says $0. I say, "you guys did such a good job, why aren't you charging me for the paint?" The head painter looks at me and says, "don't worry about the paint, it's on the house."

Finish joke, So the painters finish painting my home...

My favourite Haiku

Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you

Two Photons enter a bar.

Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.

Hitler was worst track runner

he couldn't even finish one race

Foreign Sex

A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .

You can explore finish finisher reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean finish unfinished dad jokes. There are also finish puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Is Google a woman?

I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.

The Pirate and the alphabet

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Saw a cute girl at work today.

I told her I get off in five minutes and she smiled. Then I said I finish work in one hour and she left.

Russia's Three Steps to Homework

Step 1. Putin it off

Step 2. Stalin

Step 3. Russian to finish

I just finished designing a website for an orphanage

There isn't a home page

Finish joke, I just finished designing a website for an orphanage

Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish?

It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.

I just finished a jigsaw puzzle.

It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years.

A blonde woman was trying to do a Jigsaw Puzzle

She got very frustrated that she struggling so she decided to ask her husband for help.

She said "Can you help me finish this puzzle, Its supposed to be a Bird"

Her husband replied "Put the Froot Loops back in the Cupboard"


Newton, Einstein and Pascal are playing hide and seek...

Einstein is it and starts counting. Pascal immediately runs off and hides. Newton just stands there and draws a 1 meter by 1 meter square and sits there waiting for Einstein to finish counting. When Einstein finishes counting, he immediately sees Newton, exclaiming, "You're it!" Newton only smiles and says, "You didn't find me, you found a Newton over a square meter. You found Pascal!"

Three guys are drinking methanol. "Quickly, let's finish the bottle, it's getting dark already," one of them observes.

Talking with your girlfriend is just like software installation EULA

you just scroll down waiting for it to finish and agree without understanding what it says

Just finished building doors for my fish.

I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.

I think Google's a woman...

Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

Big vote today in England. If Leave wins I predict :

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovakout. Latervia. Byegium

Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario:

Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely.

Why isn't Hitler in Mario Kart?

Because he cant finish a race

I just finished reading the fifth book in this great series.

It's called the "Learning to Count" trilogy.

Is Google a boy or girl?

Girl because it won't let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas

Why does Donald Trump finish nearly every tweet with an exclamation point?

Because he thinks periods are gross.

I have a puzzle that has 3-6 years written on it

But it only took me 5 months to finish it

A man goes to jail.

A man was sentenced to death. By tradition, the man can request one last meal

"So what will it Be?" the executioner asked

"Instead of food, can I request to sing one last song? But you must let me finish the song"

Confused by this, the executioner agreed to let the man sing

The man begins "1,000,000 bottles of beer on the wall..."

If a woman drinks two glasses of wine a day, it increases the chances of a stroke by 50%

Let her finish the bottle and she'll probably suck it as well.

I was eating soup one day outside my favorite restaurant and it started raining..

Took me hours to finish my meal.

Did you hear the news that Trump's personal library burnt down?

Unfortunately, both books were permanently destroyed.

Do you know the what the real tragedy is?
He didn't even finish colouring the second one.

[NSFW] A female prostitute gives a southern man the time of his life...

When they finish the man asks "Geee Miss, how much do I owe ya?"

The prostitute replies "For you, hon? Only 20 dollars."

The southern man replies, "Well golly, miss. I thought the rate was 50 dollars."

The prostitute looks at the man, smiles and says...

"Not for you, baby... Family Discount."

What gender is Google?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Why is Michael Phelps better than Hitler?

Michael Phelps can actually finish off a race.

is google male or female?

female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions

A guy with a stutter died in prison

before he could finish his sentence.

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest

Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes

Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes

Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic

Until Bush did 9:11

My uncle drank a whole bottle of wood varnish

He had a horrible death but a lovely finish

If 6ix9ine serves his 47 years...

he'll be the first mumble rapper to finish a sentence

A man goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The server sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it will cut through over 100 trees in one day.

The man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees but after working for hours he only cuts down two trees.

How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish two trees? he asks himself.

Next day the man brings the chainsaw back to the store and says it doesn't work properly.

Hmm, it looks okay, says the server, and starts the chainsaw.

The man jumps back in shock and cries, What's that noise?

I just finished a documentary on beavers

Best dam movie I've ever seen.

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the dessert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.



"Certainly," he replied.



I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

George R. R. Martin, Patrick Rothfuss, and Scott Lynch walk into a bar

I'll finish writing the rest of this joke soon.

At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?" The inmate responded, "It's bec..."

Officer: Yes?

Inmate: I think I have..

Officer: Go on.

Inmate: Can I Please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

One bird can't finish an entire bowl of Fruit Loops...

...but Toucan.

I accidentally called my wife a 'trophy' the other day...

She shot back, Oh come on, just because you always finish first doesn't mean you win anything!

At the parole hearing, the officer asked, "Tell me, why should you be released early?"

Inmate: it's bec..

Officer: Yes?

Inmate: I think i have..

Officer: Go on.

Inmate: Can i please finish my sentence?

Officer: Sure. Parole denied.

I want Donald Trump to be my parole officer...

...he never lets anybody finish a sentence.

Why didn't the pirate finish the alphabet?

He got lost at C

My twin brother and I used to finish each other's sentences ...

but now he's in jail.

There was a young poet called Dinesh

There was a young poet called Dinesh

Who could start but never quite finish

He began so ambitiously

Continued deliciously

Then stopped

Why is it so hard to talk to rich criminals?

Because they never finish their sentences.

I never finish anything...

I have a black belt in partial arts.

I just finished a book on reverse psychology

Don't read it.

Two cannibals are sitting eating dinner one night..

one looks to the other and says
"I don't like the look of your mothers face."

The other replies

"Well just put it at the side of your plate and finish the rest of your dinner then!"

I finished a puzzle the other day. It had "3 to 5 years" written on the box.

It only took me two weeks.

Did you hear about the runner who pooped his pants during a race?

He didn't win, but he did finish number two.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the finish cum jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working finish waits piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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