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Fingers Crossed Jokes

16 fingers crossed jokes and hilarious fingers crossed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fingers crossed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Fingers Crossed Short Jokes

Short fingers crossed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fingers crossed humour may include short hoping jokes also.

  1. The U.K. government have predicted that Scotland could become a third world country if they gain independence. I don't know if things will improve to that extent but fingers crossed for them.
  2. If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'
  3. I hope my girlfriend likes this new, quirky method that I've devised to pleasure her. Fingers crossed.
  4. Do you do any sports? - Yes, I do CrossFit
    - CrossFit? what's CrossFit?
    - I cross my fingers and hope the clothes fit
  5. My grandmother loves to knit but she was recently diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. She's holding out for some sort of cure. She has her fingers crossed.
  6. Xi's like the creepy stalker ex to every Chinese. When you make comments on him, cross your fingers not to be found.
  7. Some consider giving the middle finger to be a religious gesture It's a sign of the crossed.
  8. This Thanksgiving, I'm proud to have Trump as out president. He was gracious enough to give the Thanksgiving pardon to Robert Muller. Fingers crossed he chooses the right turkey.

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Fingers Crossed One Liners

Which fingers crossed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fingers crossed? I can suggest the ones about hopeful and hopes.

  1. I hope I don't get rheumatoid arthritis.. Fingers crossed.

Fingers Crossed Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about fingers crossed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean good luck jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fingers crossed pranks.

The Way Women Think

Husband's Message (by text):
"Darling, I got hit by a car outside the office. Paula brought me to the hospital. They have been doing tests and taking X-rays. The blow to my head though very strong, should not have any serious or lasting effect but, I have three broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture of the left leg and they may have to amputate my right foot. Fingers crossed!"
Wife's Response:
"Who's Paula?"

A blonde crossing the road gets hit by a truck....

The truck driver jumps out to check on her.
Are you all right? he asks.
Everything is just a blur, says the blonde as she's lying in the street.
The man holds his hand in front of her face and asks, How many fingers have I got up?
Oh, no! she yells. Don't tell me I'm paralyzed from the waist down too!

The last time I played monopoly with my girlfriend, she didn't talk to me for 3 days. We're playing again tonight and I'm a bit nervous but hoping it will go better.

Fingers crossed for a week this time.

Two German explorers

Two German explorers were making their way east across New York when they came to a wide river.
Karl: How vill vee get across dee large body of vater?
The other explorer sees a large, steel object north of them.
Heinrich: Look der es und structure dat vee can use to cross
Karl and Heinrich make their way across and into the land know as upstate New York. Karl gets to the other side but notices that his companion is still behind. Karl also notices that he is continuously poking his finger on the object they just crossed.
Karl: Heinrich, vat are you doing?
Heinrich: I'm Tappan Zee Bridge

A guy in a train lets a loud f**...

He puts his two hands together, crossing his fingers and claps the palm of his hands to imitate the sound of a f**....
Another passenger asks: "How do you do the smell?"

A priest, a rabbi and a buddhist monk get arrested for i**... gaming

They get in front of the judge. He starts questioning the priest first.
„Did you play poker yesterday?
The priest mumbles a quick lord forgive me and answered „No .
The judge turns to the rabbi and asks him:
„Did you play poker yesterday?
The rabbi crosses his fingers behind his back and answers a clear „No .
Finally the judge turns to the buddhist monk and tells him:
„So you are a buddhist monk, I know for a fact that you are absolutely not allowed to lie to me. Did you play poker yesterday?
The monk looks at the priest, then at the rabbi. He smiles at the judge and asks
„How could I possibly play poker all by myself?