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Fingering Tips Jokes

21 fingering tips jokes and hilarious fingering tips puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fingering tips that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Fingering Tips Short Jokes

Short fingering tips jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fingering tips humour may include short fingernails jokes also.

  1. Love is that really warm feeling that starts from the tips of your fingers and goes towards the bottom of your hand. Oh no wait that's glove
  2. In a pinch, you can cut the fingers off of rubber gloves and use each of them as a contraceptive. Just a handy tip.
  3. My friend told me a story about how he lost his index finger tip. It was a bit point-less.
  4. That's the last time I go to the internet for s**... tips... ...I Googled 'fingering a girl guide' and got 20 years in prison.
  5. Started with the tips of my fingers.. We got more into it, my fingers got deeper. She says "babe t**... ring its hurting me", I respond "you mean my watch?"

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Fingering Tips One Liners

Which fingering tips one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fingering tips? I can suggest the ones about finger hitting and finger guns.

  1. Handy tip... Is what I call my fingers.
  2. How do you pay a manicurist? By giving a finger tip
  3. What do you do when you don't have any finger tips but just toe tips? Tiptoe
  4. I heard that if you give Obama a prostrate massage The world will be at your finger tips.

Fingering Tips Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about fingering tips you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean finger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fingering tips pranks.

A Frenchman and a Mexican are sitting on a bench.

The Frenchman will occasionally sniff his fingers and say, "Ah, Fifi. My Fifi."
One day the Mexican asks, "What is this you're doing with the 'Fifi'?"
The Frenchman responds, "Every morning I finger my wife, Fifi, so I can smell her and think of her fondly. "
The next morning the Mexican finds the Frenchman on the same bench, sniffing his fingers and mumbling "Fifi."
The Mexican sits down next to him, rolls up his sleeve, and takes a long sniff from his elbow to the tips of his fingers...
"JUANITA!!!"

A man in overalls walks into the emergency room...

A man in overalls walks into the emergency room with the tips of his fingers missing.
"What happened to you?" Asked the Doctor as he began stitching him up.
"Well," the man replied, "I had to trim my bushes today, and I thought of a way to speed it up. Instead of using clippers, I held my lawn mower above the bushes. But then the blade lopped off the tips of my fingers underneath."
The doctor shook his head, finished the job, and sent the man home.
Ten minutes later another man walks into the emergency room, also missing all of his fingertips.
"What happened to you?" Asked the doctor.
"I was driving down the road, and I saw somebody with to best idea of how to trim their bushes."

Little Johnny is in math class

And the teacher asks, "If five birds are in a tree and you shoot two, how many are left?"
Ecstatic, Johnny replies, "None, the rest fly away!"
The teacher replies, "No, there are 3. But I like your thinking."
So johnny asks, "There are three women each with an ice cream cone. Thr first just licks the tip, the second licks around the base, and the third licks all over and really gets into it. Which one is married?"
"Why, the third of course."
"No, the one with the ring on her finger, but I like your thinking."

The army had to fire three of their generals..

They decided that a monetary compensation would be fitting, so they lined the three generals up and said:
"You will be paid a thousand dollars for each centimeter of distance you create from one body part to another"
The first general stretched his arms as far from each other as he possibly could, and said
"Measure the distance from the fingertips on my left hand, to the fingertips on my right hand." they paid the general and went on to the next.
The second general stretched his arms as far above his head as possible and said
"Measure the distance from the tip of my fingers to the tip of my toes" he was paid, and left with even more money than the first general.
They got to the final general, who promptly said
"I want you to measure the distance from my left nut to my right nut"
The soldier with the measuring tape didn't understand what was happening but did as he was told. A few moments later the confused soldier said "Sir, i don't understand. I can only see your right nut"
The general said with a big smile on his face:
"I know, i lost my left nut in 'nam"

Suicidal Blonde

A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

That clever Frenchman

Three tradesmen work together. One is French, another an American and the last one a German.
Every morning the Frenchman sniffs his fingers and says to himself "Fifi!"
During the day he would constantly repeat this, and everytime after sniffing his fingers he would say "Fifi!" with a grin on his face.
The German man turned to the American and said "Why does he do that?"
The American replied, "Every morning he finger bangs his wife and doesn't wash up afterwards so he can smell her all day".
The next day the German comes into work and looks proudly at his two coworkers. He then places his nose at his shoulder and quickly sniffs all the way down his arm, right to his finger tips. Immediately after he holds both arms out, palms up, fingers slightly bent and yells "Olga!!".
Side note: This joke is very reliant on delivery. I tried to describe to the best of my abilities, how I act when I deliver it in person.

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.


“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit s**...,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit s**... by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.


"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"Trying to commit s**... by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”