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Finger Gun Jokes

21 finger gun jokes and hilarious finger gun puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about finger gun that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Finger Gun Short Jokes

Short finger gun jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The finger gun humour may include short handgun jokes also.

  1. Somebody once told me... Hands off my Macaroni, Milwaukee pasta bandit found dead. He was picking up the gun, with his finger and his thumb, raising up, pointed straight at his forehead.
  2. Me: Let me tell you from experience, a punctured eardrum is no fun. Girlfriend: (with finger guns) I've heard. ;D
  3. What I told the Ice Cream man when I attempted to rob him with my finger guns. FREEZE!!!!!!
  4. They say do what you love .. So I will do you!
    (said my dad pointing finger guns and grinning)

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Finger Gun One Liners

Which finger gun one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with finger gun? I can suggest the ones about finger thumb and machine gun.

  1. I was cleaning one of my finger guns. I accidentally blew a hole through my air guitar.
  2. What did the young boy shout in the church while pointing finger guns? pew pew pew

Finger Gun Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about finger gun you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean middle finger jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make finger gun pranks.

little Johnny

Was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "'Cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was l**... her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was s**... the cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking."

A man is out buying bread in Soviet Russia

When he sees that the bakery is out of flour, he shouts:
"d**... this country, we are so poor, I haven't been able to get a loaf of bread in days"
A policeman hears that and approaches the man.
"Stop saying things like that or..." the policeman says as he uses his fingers to form a gun, points it toward the man and says "Bang!"
The man is stunned and walks home.
The wife sees that the man is shocked and asks:
"What happened? Did we run out of flour again?"
The man weakly replies:
"Not only that, it appears that we also ran out of bullets!"

The Answer Is Four (Teacher Joke)

Little Johnny was in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question…
Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?
None, replied Johnny. The rest would fly away.
Well, the answer is actually four, said the teacher. But I do like the way you're thinking.
Little Johnny quickly replies… Well, I have a question for you… Say you spot three women eating ice cream cones. One is l**... her cone, the second is biting her cone and the third is s**... her cone. Which one of these women is married?
Well, says the teacher nervously, I guess I'd say the one s**... the cone.
No, says Little Johnny. The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married. But I like the way you're thinking.

Finger l**... Good

Little Timmy was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Timmy, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Timmy, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Timmy says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Timmy, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

A man is stopped by a traffic cop...

'Did you know you were three miles over the speed limit, sir? The officer asks.
The man begins to explain 'I'm really sorry officer I'm late for my a**... stretching appointment'
Seeing the perplexed look on the officers face he continues, 'what they do is, put one finger in and work it around until they can fit two in, then keep going until they can get four in, then a hand, then both hands, then both arms to the elbow and it keeps going until my a**... is six foot wide'
The officer, still perplexed, says 'what can you do with a six foot a**...?
To which the man replies 'Stand him by the side of the road with a radar gun.'

Little Johnny and the math teacher

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny then says, "I have a question for you Sir. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

I like the way you think.

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

Suicidal Blonde

A blonde hurries into the hospital emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.
"Well, I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit s**... by shooting off the tip of your finger?"
"No, silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought 'I just paid $6000 for these, I'm not shooting myself in the chest.'"
"So, then?" asked the doctor.
"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3000 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.'"
"So, then?"
"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought 'This is going to make a loud noise,' so I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

I Like The Way You Think

One day in school the teacher asks little Johnny,
"If there were five birds on the tree and you shoot two birds with your gun then how many would be left?"
"None because they would all fly away.", replies little Johnny.
"That is incorrect.", says the teacher, "there would be three left, but I like the way you think."
Then little Johnny asks the teacher,
"If there were three women on the bench with an ice cream cone, one bitting on the cone, the other s**... the cone, and the last one l**... her cone, which one is married?"
"The one s**... on the cone," guessed the teacher.
"That is incorrect," replies little Johnny," The one with the wedding ring on her finger is married, but I like the way you think."

Naughty Little Johnny

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.
"Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with
your gun, how many would be left?"
"None.", replied Johnny. "'cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher. "But I like the way you are thinking."
Little Johnny said, "I have a question for you now. If there were three
women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one
l**... her cone, the second biting her cone, and the third one s**... her
cone, which one is married?
Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone?"
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger. But
I like the way you are thinking".
The Teacher Fainted...

A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.
“How did this happen?” the emergency room doctor asked her.
“Well, I was trying to commit s**...,” the blonde replied.
“What?” sputtered the doctor. “You tried to commit s**... by shooting your finger off?”
“No silly!” the blonde said. “First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I’m not shooting myself in the chest.”
“So then?” asked the doctor.
“Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.”
“So then?”
“Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger.”

A blonde went to the emergency room with the tip of her left index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit s**...," the blonde replied.
"Trying to commit s**... by shooting your finger?"
"No silly! First I put the gun to my chest and I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000 for these,’ then I put it in my mouth and I thought, ‘I just paid $4,000 to get my teeth fixed.’ So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought, ‘this is going to make a loud noise,’ so I put my finger in my ear before I pulled the trigger.”

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was l**... her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was s**... her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one s**... the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."