Fines Jokes
35 fines jokes and hilarious fines puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fines that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fines Short Jokes
Short fines jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fines humour may include short fined jokes also.
- At a recent rally, somebody threw a beer at Trump's head... He's fine. It was a draft, so he dodged it.
- My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye." I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.
- My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave. But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
- Businessman: How much will it cost to buy a large singing group? I need one for a party. Lady: Do you mean a choir?
Businessman: Okay, fine. How much does it cost to acquire a large singing group? - My wife said, Can you have a talk with the kids on drugs? I said, Fine, but I don't make any sense when I'm high.
- Just saw a man slumped over a lawn mower crying his eyes out. He said he'll be fine, he's just going through a rough patch.
- There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator Only a fraction of you will get this
- How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
- I said to my parents, "Mom, dad... I've decided to live on my own from now on." "Okay, that's fine." they replied.
I added, "Your luggage is outside." - I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...
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Fines One Liners
Which fines one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fines? I can suggest the ones about fees and penalty.
- Veganism is like Communism They are both fine, unless you like food
- What does every women in the world want? Nothing, they're fine.
- What does a girl want more than anything in the world? Nothing. She's fine.
- I broke my finger today... But on the other hand I am completely fine.
- I like my women like I like my kidneys… One is fine but I'd rather have two
- The first rule of passive aggressive club is... You know what, nevermind. It's fine.
- There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator the division is clear
- What do you call a knight made entirely out of fine china? Sir Ramic.
- I didn't vaccinate my five kids and both of them turned out fine.
- I just ended a 5 years long relationship I'm fine, it wasn't my relationship.
- Hey girl, is your atomic number 11? Because you're sodium fine.
- I knew a guy who fell into an industrial meat grinder He's fine now.
- Don't worry if you've forgotten the first rule of Passive Aggressive Club, it's fine.
- A cat gives birth in a public park... ...and is fined $50 for littering.
- Got a parking ticket yesterday. Not sure why. The sign said fine for parking.
Traffic Fines Jokes
Here is a list of funny traffic fines jokes and even better traffic fines puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A truck carrying Vicks Vapor Rub overturned on the highway, but amazingly traffic was fine. No congestion for hours!
- Traffic wardens are so nice in my area... they always leave notes on my car like 'Parking fine'.
- Why is the second traffic citation always easier to read? Because it's re-fined!
- A traffic cop went through the trouble of leaving a note under my wipers to let me know I'd positioned my car correctly It said Parking fine so that was nice.
- A traffic cop went through the trouble of putting a note on my windshield to let me know I positioned my car correctly. It said **'parking fine'** so that was nice.
- What did Marshawn l**... say when he went to traffic school? I'm just here so I won't get fined.
Uplifting Fines Jokes to have Hilarious Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about fines you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean speeding fine jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fines pranks.
Did Santa get you that?
Cop on horse says to little g**... bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*c**... goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike...
A policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, Did Santa get you that?
Yes, replies the little girl.
Well, says the policeman, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year, and fines her $5.
The girl looks up at the policeman and says, Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that? The policeman chuckles and replies, He sure did!
Well, says the little girl, next year, tell Santa the a**... goes on the back of the horse and not on top of it.
Cop on horse says to little g**... bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d\*c**... goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
A cop on a horse stops a little g**... a bike
Did Santa get you that bike?
Yes, replies the little girl.
Well next year tell him to put a reflector light on it! and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says Nice horse, did Santa bring you that?
The cop chuckles and replies He sure did!
Well, says the little girl, Next year tell Santa that the d*c**... goes under the horse, not on top of it!
I heard the government were going to give on the spot fines to bad drivers
I thought that's a bit sexist.
Cr
A high school principal made an announcement at an assembly.
He said, "Boys and girls, the faculty have witnessed an alarming increase in public displays of affection, which are against school policy. Effective immediately, we will start issuing fines to those caught doing this. A first offense will be $5. A second offense will be $10. A third offense will be $20. So on and so forth."
Suddenly, a student in the crowd yelled, "How much for a season pass?"
I found out my wife's been blowing the judge to get out of her parking fines.
I shouldn't be talking about it really... The judge put a gag order on it.
Where do only the finest South Pacific neckbeards hail from?
M'laysia.
Speeding fines doubled when workers present
I don't see why a construction worker would be presenting anything during a speeding fine.
What is Alabama's finest hour?
Tua'Clock
If I had a dollar for every time I drove drunk
I'd be able to start paying off some of those fines I've got building up
6ix 9ine is going to jail...
More like 6ix Fines.
Why do you really not want to get pulled over in Ireland?
Because the cops are Dublin the fines!
(It took me a three hour car ride to come up with this... I am not a clever person)
A cop on a horse meets a little girl riding her bike
He watches her intently then says, "Hey hon, Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes sir," replies the little girl.
"Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" He says with a wry smile and fines her $2 for the missing tail light.
The little girl looks up at the cop for a minute and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!"
"Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*c**... goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
