Finding Jokes
181 finding jokes and hilarious finding puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about finding that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will provide you with tips and tricks to help you find jokes that can be used in various situations. Learn how to easily search for and discover funny, usable jokes from different sources, such as Finding Nemo, Finding Dory, Finding Waldo, and even Finding X! Get insight on how to locate Nemo’s dad, Marlin, for some extra laughs, and even find some money - the search is on!
Quick Jump To
- Short Finding Jokes
- Finding One Liners
- Finding Money Jokes
- Finding X Jokes
- Nemo Finding Jokes
- Finding Nemo Jokes
- Finding Dory Jokes
- More Finding Jokes
Funniest Finding Short Jokes
Short finding jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The finding humour may include short finds jokes also.
- I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs… If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…
- Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50 Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes.
Riceless. - Astronaut 1: "I can't find any milk for my coffee" Astronaut 2: "In space no-one can. Here, use cream"
- If i had $1 for every girl that didn't find me attractive.. .. they would eventually find me attractive
- Malaysian Airlines and United should merge That way they can beat their passengers and no one will ever find out.
- I want my 11780 dollars. Dear Bank of America, I just want to find 11780 more dollars in my savings account.Everyone at your bank counted wrong.
- Hey girl, are you an obelisk? Because I'm trying to find out what an obelisk is through process of elimination.
- I just hired a beautiful 21 year old girl to look after my 1 year old baby. Now I have two issues: 1. How to tell this to my wife
2. Where to find a 1 year old baby - What's better than enchiladas? n+1 chiladas.
(sharing this joke I came up with tonight while making enchiladas, because my family didn't find it funny). - I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
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Finding One Liners
Which finding one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with finding? I can suggest the ones about search and identification.
- I tried to buy a Mortal Kombat soundtrack. All I could find were Finnish Hymns.
- How do you offend an American? Don't worry, they'll find something to be offended about.
- To the person who hacked my account I will find you, and I will kill you.
- I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.
- Why didn't the Romans find algebra very difficult? Because X was always 10
- To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word.
- My girlfriend is a pornstar She will kill me if she finds out.
- Where do you find a cow with no legs? Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
- How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
- What did they find under Michael Jackson's pillow? Billy's jeans
- How did Kevin Spacey find the little boy in all the Tall grass? Satisfying.
- Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Where you left it.
- Why do women find Christian Grey so appealing? Beats me.
- How do you find a velociraptor ? You divide the distanceraptor by the timeraptor
- I could never cheat in a relationship That would require 2 people to find me attractive
Finding Money Jokes
Here is a list of funny finding money jokes and even better finding money puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
- A Robber entered my home in hopes of finding money..... I joined the search with him.
- I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money
- Jim finds a genie in a lamp The genie says "you have three wishes to make"
Jim instantly says "I wish I were rich!"
The genie responds, "and for your second wish?"
Rich says "I want lots of money" - I came into some money yesterday. I couldn't find the tissues.
- What I need is to find a woman who loves me for my money ... but doesn't understand maths.
- Mike Birbiglia
- So, I have had a pretty weird morning... First I find a hat filled with money, and then out of nowhere I get randomly chased by an angry man with a guitar!
- My sister's onlyfans makes a lot of money I'm going to have to tell her when she finds the hidden cameras
- Lazy thieves They were two thieves so lazy that they robbed a bank and in order not to count the money, they waited for the evening news to find out how much they had stolen.
- After Finding Nemo, how did Dory make money? She started an OnlyFins.
Finding X Jokes
Here is a list of funny finding x jokes and even better finding x puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Dear Algebra, stop asking us to find your X. Shes not coming back. ...and we don't know Y either.
- Dear algebra, stop asking us to find your x She's not coming back. And don't ask y.
- Dear Algebra.. Stop asking us to find your X
She's gone bro. - The Romans did not find algebra challenging because X was always 10
- Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships? Because they're always trying to find the x.
They don't know y, either. - How are relationships like algebra? You look at your X and try to find out Y
- Why didn't the Romans find algebra very challenging they always knew X was 10
- Algebra stop asking us to find your x She's not coming back
- What do gamers who switch consoles and mathematicians have in common? They both have problems finding x.
- Did you know that all high school math teachers are lonely? You can tell by them always asking you to find the X
Nemo Finding Jokes
Here is a list of funny nemo finding jokes and even better nemo finding puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When people go underwater in movies, I like to hold my breath to see if I would have survived the same situation... Almost died in Finding Nemo
- I like to hold my breath whenever a character goes underwater in a movie. That way I know if I'd survive if I were that character. I was rushed to the E.R after Finding Nemo
- I've always tried to hold my breath when a character is under water, to see if I could survive the situation Finding Nemo was a tough one
- Whenever I see an underwater scene in a movie, I hold my breath Almost died in Finding Nemo
- What's the difference between Finding Nemo and Shrek? Finding Nemo is about Efficiency.
- Sometimes whenever I watch an underwater scene in a movie I try to hold my breath as long as the characters do to see if I'd survive in that situation. I almost died watching Finding Nemo.
- Disney is releasing an alternate version of its latest film for the Indian audience where Nemo's father starts looking for a bride for his son. It's called Finding Dowry.
- During movies when characters go underwater, I hold my breath and see if I could've survived that situation... I almost died in _Finding Nemo_
- Why is Finding Nemo called Finding Nemo? Because it's about finding Nemo
- What is Dory from finding Nemo's favorite band? The blue Tang clan.
Finding Nemo Jokes
Here is a list of funny finding nemo jokes and even better finding nemo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When characters in the movies go underwater, I like to hold my breath to see how long I can last. I almost died in Finding Nemo.
- What would you say if you saw the blue fish from Finding Nemo lifting weights and taking steroids? "Well that's hunky Dory!"
- Have you seen the 18 version of Finding Nemo? They've classed it as 'prawnography'....
- In Finding Nemo, why were Gill and the others so worried when the dentist was throwing Nemo in the trash can? Don't they know? All trash cans lead to the ocean.
- I just watched a movie where a man's wife is murdered and his son is kidnapped so he has to work with a mentally disabled person to find his son. It's called Finding Nemo.
- I heard Pixar is coming out with another sequel to Finding Nemo Finding Jaime
- What would be the name for the "king of rock" in a movie like finding nemo? Elfish freshley
- What did high Wizkhalifa tell Snoop Dogg in Finding Nemo 3? Seaweed
- The movie Finding Nemo is actually really deep You know, because it's in the ocean and all.
- Why is it called finding nemo? been wondering for years
Finding Dory Jokes
Here is a list of funny finding dory jokes and even better finding dory puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn.
- Finding Dory... Act I: where is she?
Act II: where is she?
Act III: Flounder! - They are doing a sequel to Finding Dory where she discovers she has cancer and searches for a cure. It's called Finding Chemo.
- SPOILERS: Finding Dory was just a Movie.... about her for getting home.
- I don't care how old I am, I will see Finding Dory.
- Have you seen Finding Dory? Have you seen Finding Dory?
- I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot...
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Finding Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about finding you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean identify jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make finding pranks.
So my friend, Rick Astley, asked me for some Pixar movies to watch...
I told him, "You can borrow Toy Story 1, 2, and 3, A Bugs Life, Monsters Inc., Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, Cars 1 and 2, Ratatouille, and Wall*E, but I'm never gonna give you UP!"
All this news about finding the Higgs Boson is so exciting...
It's giving me a Hadron.
Searching for Sasquatch
Two men are on a hunt through the forest looking for Sasquatch.
After days and days of searching and not even finding a footprint, they happen to run into an old native man.
They ask the man "Have you by any chance seen a Sasquatch around here?"
Confused, he replies "Sasquatch?"
They answer him "Sasquatch..you know; big, hairy, smells bad.."
"Oh!" he replies. "You mean squawsnatch!"
We put Granddad into a nursing home yesterday
I called Grandma to see how he was doing.
"Oh, dear, he's like a fish out of water!" she told me.
"Is he finding hard to adjust?" I asked.
"No, he's dead."
A wife told her man to leave....
after finding out that he had a one night stand with another woman.
"I want you to go!" she screamed.
He said, "Please can we just talk about this first?"
"Go on, I'm listening." she replied.
He sat down and said, "It was the most amazing experience of my entire life."
I heard that excessive m**... causes skepticism
But I'm finding it hard to believe
p**... has s**... for the first time
After finding out p**... had shagged his girlfriend for the first time, Murphy asked him how it was.
"It was amazing," p**... gushed. "As we were both virgins, made it even more special; it was just a shame that we had to be fairly quiet."
"Why was that?" Asked Murphy.
"Her kids were asleep in the bedroom next door," p**... replied.
p**... Stitcher VS Diesel Fitter
Manuel and Pedro worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, Manuel answered, "p**... Stitcher. I sew da elastic onto ladies' cotton p**...."
The clerk looked up p**... Stitcher. Finding it classified as "unskilled labor," she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.
Pedro was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter," he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Pedro $600 a week.
When Manuel found out he was furious. He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.
The clerk explained, "p**... stitchers are unskilled and diesel fitters are skilled labor"
"What skill?!" yelled Manuel. "I sew the elastic on da p**..., Pedro puts dem over his head and says: 'Yeah, diesel fitter.'"
Fish out of water.
I was on the phone to my Grandma the other day and we were discussing how my Grandpa was getting on in the nursing home.
I said, "How is he coping, getting on all right?".
She replied, "Oh, no, he's like a fish out of water..."
So I said, "Aww is he finding it quite hard to adjust?"
She replied, "No, he's dead."
Heisenberg gets pulled over (Nerd humor)
Finding great success as a scientist Heisenberg decides to buy a sports car. He is blazing down the highway when he sees a cop car behind him. He pulls over and the cop comes up to the window and asks: "Do you have *any* idea how fast you were going?!"
Heisenberg looks at him and replies: "No, but I can tell you *exactly* where I am."
h**... use among horses have grown
But finding the evidence is like finding a needle in a haystack.
The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest
The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest to see who can find a white rabbit in the forest
The CIA comes in first place, finding the rabbit in fourteen hours. They used contacts, thermal vision, and satellites.
MI5 comes in second place, finding the rabbit in 24 hours using much of the same tactics
The KGB comes in last place. In one hour, they produced a bear, near beaten to death, who said "OK, OK, I admit it, I am a rabbit."
An Irishman, Russian and the Blonde...
An Irishman, Russian and a Blonde come across a magical slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Russian amazed slides down screaming "v**...!", and lands into bottles of v**... at the bottom. The Blonde takes her turn, and without hesitation shouts "WEEEE!" as she slides down.
A man finds a penguin on the road...
A man finds a penguin on the road side. Thinking the penguin is lost the man takes it, drives until finding a police officer and asks what to do.
- Take it to the zoo replies the officer.
One week latter the policer officer sees the man driving with the penguin by his side.
What are you doing with that penguin ? I told you to bring him to the zoo.
I did exactly that. He loved it and now we are going to the movies .
A West Virginian gets married and him and his wife go to bed together for the first time...
And his new wife tells him to take it easy on her as she's a v**.... Upon finding this out he tells her "well if you're not good enough for your dad than you're not good enough for me, get out."
What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?
You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/
What's the hardest part about being a vegan?
finding enough protein to get the energy you need to tell everyone you have ever met that you are a vegan.
Little Johnny... Finding Jesus
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
People who put the punchline in the title
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
What's worse than finding hair in your food?
Finding out the chef is bald.
Little Johnny at the playground
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
I've just taken my sausages back to the butchers...
There was only a tiny bit of pork in the middle, the left and right sides were just pure breadcrumbs.
The butcher apologised and said that he was suffering financially, business was tough and he was finding it increasingly difficult to make ends meat.
What's worse than finding a hole in your c**...?
Finding a c**... in your hole
An old rabbi feels his time on earth is coming to an end...
He takes stock of his life and thinks about all the things he's done, and all the things he wishes he'd done. He thinks to himself, "I've always wanted to try pork!"
So the rabbi, being a cautious man, travels a few towns over and looks for a restaurant. Finding a likely place, he reads the menu and sees what he's looking for - a whole suckling pig. He sits down and places the order. Soon the pig arrives, skin crisp and glistening, with a big red apple in its mouth.
The rabbi is just about to tuck in when a member of his synagogue walks in and spots him. "Rabbi!" he exclaims, aghast, "What on Earth are you *doing*?!".
The rabbi looks at his plate, looks at the guy, and says "This restaurant! I order a baked apple, look how they serve it!"
Finding out a gay guy has a crush on you is like finding 1,000,000 pesos.
You'll think "Well, I can't do much with this right now, but if I ever cross that line I'll be just fine"
Finding a girlfriend is a lot like fishing...
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but it's just you holding your rod until you catch one.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being r**... by a giant scorpion..
What's worst than f**... your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside.
The CIA, FBI, and the KGB are tasked with finding a rabbit in a forest...
The CIA show up after a few days and release a 6000 word article on the fact that rabbits don't exist.
The FBI show up with a dead rabbit and say in a press release "The rabbit had it coming."
The KGB show up with a bruised and beaten bear. The bear is forced to make a statement "I am a rabbit, my father was a rabbit, and my mother is a rabbit. My whole family are rabbits!" the bear disappears shortly after...
Dating when your 30 is like finding a seat at a theater one minute before the show.
The perfect seats are already taken by someone who arrived much earlier than you and of the seats available, the ones in the back are an unfulfilling experience, the ones in the front overwhelm you with discomfort, and the ones that are decent substitutes are either broken or next to kids.
I must be a geologist
I keep finding a new rock bottom.
Finding Money
Reaching into a pair of pants and finding a w**... of money is a great feeling . . . . until the person wearing the pants starts screaming.
What's the difference between awkward and awful?
Awkward is finding your mom on Tinder, awful is matching with her
what's worse than being adopted?
finding out it was Rick Astley who gave you up.
My wife and I were lying in bed the other day...
My hands were slowly finding their way across her body.
I whispered, "I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world."
She whispered back, "I'll miss you."
Girls on dating apps get bombarded with too many lame and boring messages
For them, finding the good ones is like finding a needle in a hey-stack.
How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, but the trick is finding two people small enough to fit IN the lightbulb...
What's more horrifying than finding a stack of dad's playboys in the basement?
Realising one of them's still breathing.
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided; if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
My s**... life is like finding a parking spot
My s**... life is like finding a parking spot in town.
All the good ones are taken, so sometimes when no one is looking I have to stick it into disabled one.
Did you hear about the guy who got pulled over?
The cops received a warrant and were able to search his car and they opened the glove box and ended up finding sodium chloride and a nine volt...
He got charged with assault and battery
PR manager, philosopher, translator and a journalist walk into a bar
The Bartender says: "Hey Tony! Four bachelor's degrees, but still no luck finding a job?"
I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...
...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Finding Nemo is a real thriller!
What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
The holocaust
Someone came to my library and asked for help finding a where's Waldo book
I told them they weren't ready
If you watch 127 Hours backwards
It's the uplifting story of an amputee finding an arm in the desert.
God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle...
...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.
For the first few weeks after joining Weight Watchers...
... You're just finding your feet.
I had to thank my friend for finding my bank card resting in some wet grass.
Credit where it's dew.
My wife is a lot like Apple
Always finding new and innovative ways to be annoying.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket.
Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
What's worse than finding a fly in you soup?
Getting hit by a bus
A man named Jose has just moved from Mexico to the US
and he wants to do something very American so he decides to go to a baseball game.
Unfortunately, the game is completely sold out. However, the cashier says there is one seat available if Jose is willing to sit atop the flag pole. He agrees.
Finding the pole, Jose climbs to the top and takes a seat.
The game is about to begin when a voice comes over the loudspeaker and says "Please rise for the National Anthem". Everyone in the stadium stands up, turns to Jose, puts their hands over their hearts, and sings
"O-OH SAY CAN YOU SEEEEE..."
Jose yells back "YES THANK YOU"
What is worse than finding a bug in your salad?
Getting anally r**... by a rhinoceros.
A blonde girl gets pulled over by a blonde police officer for speeding...
The Police officer asks for a drivers license & the blonde starts going through her bag looking for it.
She's getting increasingly frustrated as she looks for the drivers license & asks the police officer for assistance.
The blonde asks: "I'm having trouble finding it... Can you please tell me what it is suppose to look like?"
The officer responds: "Sure, it's just a square that has your picture on it."
After a bit more rustling through her bag, she pulls out a square mirror and hands it to the police officer.
The police officer looks at the mirror and says: "Oh, I'm so sorry... I didn't realise you were a police officer! You can go"
After 10yrs of marriage is finding out that your spouse s**... 500+ d**... before getting hitched a big deal?
Because I think my wife is just overreacting?
I got fired from PC World today.
A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
Probably a shovel was not the right answer.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Cutting your toe off with an axe
The Justice League has a vacancy and the number 7 is interviewing to fill a superhero position...
Batman: Thank you for coming, 7. Its been rough since the Flash took off and we're having a hard time finding someone to replace him. Let's get right to it. What is your first power?
Number 7: Well, for my whole life I've been in prime condition and I don't anticipate that changing anytime soon.
Bathman: That's great to hear. What do you consider your second power to be?
Number 7: 49
Ugly Faces
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to have a talk with the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday School teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a child, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
Finding a career after college and being a v**... is tough...
There's all kinds of jobs out there: hand jobs, blow jobs, rim jobs...but I can't get any of them
The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.
They only have periodic tables.
An Alabaman is finding his ancestry on a website, but can't get to their site...
Getting frustrated, he calls his wife over.
Sighing, she says, "It starts with an A, not an I, bro."
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
A woman was picking through the frozen turkeys at the local supermarket,
But she was having trouble finding one that was large enough for her family.
She decided to ask the shop assistant, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The shop assistant replied, "No ma'am, they're dead.."
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
My ex girlfriend used to love coming home and finding me n**... on the bed
now she just calls the police
I was having trouble finding a singing partner,
so I bought myself a duet yourself kit.
My wife is finding it really difficult to live with my OCD
Every time she gets turned on, I have to turn her off again.
I like my women like I like my m**......
Chopped into tiny pieces and burned to ashes without the police ever finding out.
So I found out I have a f**... for finding things out.
I really came to that conclusion.
What's worse than finding 2 babies in a trash can?
Finding 1 baby in two trash cans.
Once there was a mathematician
Once there was a mathematician. She wasn't very good at her job, but she really enjoyed it. She knew she couldn't make enough money to feed her family, so she decided to make money at night as a p**.... She was surprised at how popular she became, quickly finding herself several regular customers. After one particularly good night, the man held her hand and asked, "That was amazing, you are an exquisite woman. I'm sorry for asking only now, but what is your name?"
The woman replied, "It's okay - it's The Thot That Counts."
Because hippos are surprisingly dangerous, zoologists use the Pythagorean theorem to calculate the length of their backs.
This is called finding the hippotenuse.
Chinese takeout: $8. Tip :$2. Getting home
and finding out that they forgot part of your order: riceless.
My Aunt Ruth went missing
It turned out she was kidnapped and murdered before my uncle could pay the ransom. He went on a rampage, finding and slaughtering every last man who participated in kidnapping her, even going so far as to t**... some of them. You could say he was.....
Ruthless
