Final Jokes

Need a laugh to get you through the most important day of the event? Check out our selection of the best and funniest jokes related to the Euro Final, AFL Grand Final, Cup Final, or any other big final. With some of the most memorable one-liners, you'll have everyone roaring with laughter - no matter what the final result ends up being. Make this a time to remember with these hilarious jokes!

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Best Short Final Jokes

These are our top final puns. Have fun with a good final joke in English with simple final humour.

  1. So Tekashi69 could face life in prison Which is nice because we might finally get to see a mumble rapper completing a sentence
  2. The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens. Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
  3. Trump tests positive for COVID-19. He finally passed a test without cheating, good for him.
  4. Trump might finally get what he wants the most He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
  5. I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
  6. Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion yesterday in less than 5 moves. Finally my high school karate classes came in useful.
  7. As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
  8. I was going to finalize my research as to why vaccines are bad today But all of the research sites are down.
  9. For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse. At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
  10. I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football. Nobody expects the spanish in position.
Final joke, I've finally worked out why Spain is so good at football.

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these final jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of final puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Final One Liners

Which final dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with final?

  1. I finally got someone to be my valentine! I wish I could post this in any other sub.
  2. Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other… …the NSA will finally read it.
  3. I finally got an A on my essay! Only 1999 more words to go.
  4. I've finally stopped drinking for good. Now I drink for evil
  5. Finally my winter fat is gone Now I have spring rolls
  6. I finally disabled autocorrect on my phone I was getting really tired of its shirt.
  7. What do you call a kid who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
  8. Why are there so many old people in Church? They're cramming for the final
  9. Maybe the pope just wants to finally get married.

    Or settle down with a couple of kids.
  10. Scientists finally found out, how much sleep humans exactly need: just five more minutes
  11. I'm so excited to finally get a dad bod It's the first time I've ever had a father figure
  12. I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%
  13. God finally answer my prayers for winning the $15 million lottery. The answer is no.
  14. After 23 school shootings in 2018 We did it. We finally banned straws.
  15. What do you call an American in the world cup final. Ref

Final Moments Jokes

Here is a list of funny final moments jokes and even better final moments puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Today my wife gave birth to a baby boy. I have waited for this moment for so long.. Now I can finally post my jokes here. Thank you God.
  • I was always afraid of dying alone, so thanks for being with me in my final moments. Parachute instructor: PULL THE CORD PULL THE CORD!
  • After many years, my father finally got his book, "Important Moments in Hydroelectric Power" published And it's about dam time.
  • Don't make school shooting jokes. You can't imagine what went through their heads in their final moments.
  • That moment when you finally get your lighter lit and expel a sigh of relief.
  • How do you make a Jewish philosopher have a Eureka moment? Tell him the Final Solution.
  • Finally figured out why babies shiver in the moments after birth It's all about being acclimated to the w**... temperature.
  • A friend of mine died in the middle of an o**... I'm glad he spent his final moments surrounded by his family.

Final Exam Jokes

Here is a list of funny final exam jokes and even better final exam puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do old people start reading the bible more often? They are studying for their final exam.
  • Last year I took a visual design class... ...and our final exam was to design a fireworks display.
    I passed with flying colors.
  • Once I had completed my final exam, my professor told me to turn it in to one of the teaching assistants. Good thing I have been practicing my origami.
  • Why do old people like to read the Bible? Because some of it might he on the final exam.
  • I failed a Calculus exam today. I think I've finally found my limits.
  • Can you believe that the final answer on my statistics exam was: 50/50 What are the odds?
  • Why did everyone pass the final confectioner exam? It was a piece of cake
  • I just bubbled in all E's on the scantron for my final exam. I'm pretty sure my answers are all right.
  • The Professor asks his Student his final exam question Professor: what is the punishment for polygamy?
    The clueless Student thinks about it, then answers: two stepmothers?
  • My son asked me a question today "Dad, why am I half human, half final exam?"

Cup Final Jokes

Here is a list of funny cup final jokes and even better cup final puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do you call an Englishman in the World Cup final? The referee
  • What do you call an English man at a world cup final? A referee.
  • I bought a ticket to world cup finals without realizing it's also my wedding day! Does anyone want to go in my place? The church is St Antony's and the brides' name is Joanna..
  • We hoped for a good clean World Cup Final. But instead we got a Messi one.
    Congrats to Argentina.
  • The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit... Against Las Vegas.
  • Adults used to tell me that if I went into the inner city, I could get robbed by a drug dealer... I finally understand now, $5 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous
  • What do you call an Aussie in the finals of the World Cup? A referee.
  • What do you call an Italian at the World Cup Finals? A referee
  • Ronaldo and Messi will finally both meet each other during the World Cup... at an Airport as they return their respective home countries.
  • I bought tickets to the world cup semi-finals and forgot I'm getting married that day So is anyone here willing to get married that day?

Final Solution Jokes

Here is a list of funny final solution jokes and even better final solution puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why do all german exchange students fail math? Because nobody wants to see their final solution.
  • The press should have given Sean Spicer a 5th attempt at clarifying his statement. Who knows, maybe he finally figured out the final solution.
  • What do you call a murderous Universal solvent? A final solution
  • Some chemistry students accidentally made hydrogen cyanide. They were actually trying to create The Final Solution.
  • What do you call a homogenous mixture formed immediately before the apocalypse? The Final Solution.
  • Do you know why you stop the reaction as soon as the methane and the ammonia have finished oxidizing? Because HCN is the final solution.
  • A chemist mixes two chemicals with ash from a German Crematorium. The poor guy got fired for it. It was his Final Solution.
  • Why isn't Israel pushing harder for finalizing the peace deal with Palestine? ....They aren't a fan of "Final Solutions".
  • Why are Jews bad Math Teachers? Because they are afraid of the final solution
  • What do you get when mix the last of the solute with the last of the solvent? The Final Solution
Final joke, What do you get when mix the last of the solute with the last of the solvent?

Heartwarming Final Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about final to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make final prank.

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there's an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, "Who would ever miss the World Cup final?
The guy replies, "Well that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.
The man says back, "That's terrible, but couldn't you get another close family member to come with you?
The guy says, "No. They're all at the f**...."

A guy sits down on a bench next to a Thai kid wearing soccer cleats.

"So, who are you rooting for in the World Cup Final?" the man asks, noticing the soccer gear.
"I don't know, who's playing?" the boy answers.
"Jesus Christ, have you been under a rock or something?"

The Entertainment

A charitable man decided to visit a sick ward at a hospital to cheer up the patients. He took along a keyboard and played humorous songs and told jokes at many a bedside. After finishing his final performance for an old man he said, "I hope you get better." The old man smiled vaguely at the performer and replied, "I hope you do too."

Jake's final conversation

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

A man is watching a world cup final in a sold out stadium

He notices an empty seat just in front of his and says to the guy sitting next to it, "Hey man, how come this seat here's empty? Tickets for this game havee been sold out for months!"
"Well, the seat was meant for my wife, but sadly, she passed away"
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. But couldn't you get a friend or relative to come along instead?"
"Nah, they're all at the f**...."

I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!

So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"
My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.
It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.

So I finally got a housekeeper, it's my ex-wife.

She kept the house.

Finally took that warning on the cigarette pack to heart

and stopped littering

Finals in college are a lot like plastic surgery

walk in with A's and leave with D's.

A joke about golfers.

Two men were playing golf one afternoon when just as they are about to play an important putt on the final hole for the match a large f**... procession passes by on the road at the side of the golf course. One of the men stops in mid putt, removes his cap, bows his head in prayer. The second man retorts "Woah man, that was really respectful". "Well, we had been married for over 25 years" said the other man.

[In honor of Leonard Nimoy] How many ears does Spock have?

Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier.

Finally figured out why clickbait is so effective

I finally found a girl who is like my mother in every way!

I brought her home and wouldn't you know it... my dad doesn't like her

I finally found out why clickbait is so effective.

I finally realized I could no longer keep my broken money making machine.

It just didn't make cents.

A psychologist addresses three mothers, telling them that he brought each of them there to reflect their life addictions.

To the first mother he says, "You have an addiction to sweets, as you named your daughter Candy."
To the second mother he says, "You have an addiction to gambling and money, hence your daughter is named Penny."
And before the psychologist could approach the final mother, she grabs her son by the arm and says "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."

Euro 2016

Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.
If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have s**...?' 'No,' she answered. I then said, 'Is that your final answer?' She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..' So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started...

I just took a Baking Class

The final was a piece of cake.

So I finally got Pokémon GO...

I still haven't caught any Counter-Terrorists.

An airline employee makes the final boarding call for a flight.

After she finished the announcement, she spots a man running down the concourse towards the gate. He runs through the boarding area, hurdles a row of empty chairs, and stops at the podium, almost out of breath.
"You just made it!" she says. "Do you have your boarding pass?"
"Oh, this isn't my flight," the man says. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm vegan."

A jew in his deathbed...

A jew in his deathbed is surrounded by his family. He asks if the wife is there; she was. He asks if his son was there; he was. He asked if his daughter was there, and she was.
As he finds out everyone's there, he has a heart attack. His final words were:
-Why... is no one... in the shop...

Last time I had s**..., it felt like the 100m Olympic final.

There were 8 black men and a gun.

I have finally figured out how to clone a human being!

Needless to say, I am beside myself.

I finally found my wife's g**...!

Who would have thought her sister had it the whole time?

I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system!

It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.

Finally figured out the reason why l look so bad in pictures.

It's my face.

I finally found out what they call the vacuum at the abortion clinic


I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers

So I was able to quit cold turkey

I finally got my job as a Samsung store guard.

Now I'm the Guardian of the Galaxies.

Lord of the Bow

So I was telling my friend about my prowess with a bow and arrow yesterday. I said "my best round ever didn't start so well, I only scored 1 point with each of my first two arrows. Got better after that, scored 2 with the next, then 3, then 5. On my 12th and final arrow I managed to score 144."
She was quick to point out that this was impossible, so I had to confess it was a fibbin' archery sequence.

I was taking my English final and they asked Write the past tense of 'Think' .

I thought and thought about this for ages.
Eventually, I went for 'Thunk'.

They're finally making a movie about clocks.

It's about time

And that's how the fight started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have s**...?'
'No,' she answered.
I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, 'Yes..'
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

Finally, I am no longer a 21 year-old v**...

As of today I am a 22 year-old one!

I finally got around to reading that book by Stephen Hawking.

It was about time.

I finally figured out why I look so bad in photos.

It's my face.

Finally I am the hottest guy in my gym.

I have 102 °F fever.

I'm finally 5 years clean!

Having to get a shower every day has been hard - luckily, I've had my h**... addiction to help me through it.

Captain Kirk actually has 3 ears.

The first is the left ear, the second is the right ear, and then there's the final frontier.

I finally fixed that annoying noise in my car.

I opened the door and pushed her out.

My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...

He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."
Graduated top of his class...

I wanted to change my name to Dragon Ball Z...

My friend said, "Wow, that's a lot of papers you have to fill out!"
I said "Yeah, this isn't even my final form!"

I finally decided to play Fortnite.

It's fun, but it gets boring after a couple of weeks

I finally understand why everyone loves Gal Gadot

She Israeli hot.

I finally found my girlfriend's g**.........

Her sister had it!

If Liverpool wins, somebody warn the Pope!

1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool wins the Champions League
3. The Pope dies
1. A British prince gets married
2. Liverpool is in the Champions League's final

A guy applies for a job with the Chicago Police Department

He has an impressive resume, gives the best answers to the interview questions, and is very enthusiastic about the job.
"Your qualifications are impressive" says the police chief. "Here's the final test. Take this gun, go out, and shoot ten black guys and a clown?"
The man asks, "why the clown?"
The police chief replies, "Fantastic attitude, you're hired!"

They finally figured out why the computerized self driving car has crashed...

They didn't install the driver.

Donald Trump is standing in the gallows...

The executioner is fitting the rope around his neck.
Below the platform are all the news networks. They are all clamoring for a final statement before the man is hung for his crimes.
Trump simply smiles and shakes his head.
Finally, one question is heard above the roar of the crowd?
"Aren't you worried about dying?" A voice asks.
Trump shrugs his shoulders as he smiles again and shakes his head for the last time.
He replies: "Fake noose."

A college teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam.

Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!
A smart-a**... guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head sweetly.
Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

I finally told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts

He said I have to start paying in advance

I finally quit drinking for good

Now I drink for evil

There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.

They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."

Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.

They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?

A college professor reminds her class of the next day's final exam saying, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever"

A guy sitting at the back asks, What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter s**... exhaustion?"
The teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, and says, Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.

Why do you see a lot more old people attending church than you see young people?

Cramming for the final.

You know how we should rename makeawish?

Final fantasy

A wealthy billionaire dies, and his final wish is to be buried with his money.

So, at the f**... reception, the widow is speaking with guests when the matter of the billionaire's last wish comes up. The widow confirms that she honored her late husband's request.
A friend says to the widow, "You really buried him with billions of dollars?!", and the widow replies, "Of course, I wrote him a check."

A shooting club was holding a competition. The winner was to get a somewhat ugly trophy, the second-placed shooter - a crate of champagne.

By the end of the final round, two shooters were tied for first place, so they were told to do a tiebreaker round - 5 shots at maximum distance. To keep things more dramatic, they had to shoot at the same time.
After both had stopped firing and were awaiting the results, one shooter turned to his rival and said with a little smile: "I'm sorry, pal. I put all five shots in the wall."
"I'm sorry, too," replied the other, "because I put all of mine into your target."

A High School English Teacher reminds her class of the next day's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.

One smart-a**... jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme s**... exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Aw, that's so sad. Guess you'll just have to write with your other hand"

The judge asked the woman what she stole. She replied, I stole a can of peaches.

The judge then asked, how many peaches were in the can?
Six, replied the woman.
After consideration, the judge decided to sentence her one night of prison for every peach she stole. Six nights total.
At this moment the woman felt helpless, bawling her eyes out, she didn't know what to do.
And before the judge smacked the mallet down to make it final, her husband entered into the courtroom and yelled, your honor, wait!
The judge froze and listened to what the husband wanted to say.
She also stole a can of peas!

I finally married my Korean wife whom I met in a penpal site few years ago..

She's my Seoul mate.

Today is the final countdown...


A guard asks a woman on death row what she'd like for her final meal.

idk, what do you want?

This is true: I picked up a pack of ear plugs at work today and it had three in the pack

The maintenance guy said that's the Spock pack
Me: Spock pack?
Maint: aye; one for the left ear, one for the right ear - and one for the final front ear

British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final

Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k

Grandpa Mike died this weekend.

He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster. In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days. He will be mist.

Finally, I'm no longer a 40 year old v**....

I just turned 41.

Finally found a good joke about trickle down economics.

I'm afraid most you you won't get it.

I finally got around to watching that documentary on clocks.

It was about time.

Final joke, I finally got around to watching that documentary on clocks.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these final jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.