Final Destination Jokes
24 final destination jokes and hilarious final destination puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about final destination that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Final Destination Short Jokes
Short final destination jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The final destination humour may include short destination jokes also.
- Freaked out when I got to the cemetery and the GPS said you have reached your final destination.
- My wife and I have finally reached an agreement on our next vacation destination. I got so excited I had to change my pants. I love coming to a consensus.
- Three beans travelled around Australia together, where was their final destination? In Cairns.
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Final Destination One Liners
Which final destination one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with final destination? I can suggest the ones about finish line and final solution.
- Fox is good on Final Destination... but Fountain of Dreams is where he shines.
- I entered a Final Destination contest and nearly won. It went to sudden death
Final Destination Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about final destination you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dead end jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make final destination pranks.
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Final Destination
What do you call an open-casket viewing at an atheist's f**...?
All dressed up and nowhere to go.
Since you liked the first one...more Russian jokes. (Airplane Intercom Version)
"Good afternoon passengers. We are currently flying at 20000 feet. If you take a look out of the windows on the left-hand side you will get a good view of our left engine on fire. If you look out the right-hand side windows you will see our right wing has fallen off. Below the airplane you will soon see 5 parachutes. Our crew thanks you for flying Aeroflot. We wish you a pleasant journey to wherever your final destination may be."
A little girl is eating her vegetables
Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.
A little girl was eating her veggies
Suddenly one of the pea pods came to life and began pleading for its life, "No giant! Please spare me and I will take you to my kingdom where my queen(mother) will reward you with much more than my life!"
With nothing better to do, the girl accepts the offer and follows the talking pea to his kingdom. After a short 20 minute journey they arrive to their destination and the girl is left stunned. The size of the kingdom was humongous and complex, much more than she had previously thought it would be. The town was bulging with the life of the pea pod towns folk. The girl was left blown away with her jaw dropping, as she had finally seen her first pea nest.
A Poem about Timbuktu
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man.
They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says " Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two and I buck one and Tim buck two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It was the finals of a poetry competition
The finalists: An English Professor and A r**.... The judge says, Here is your task. Write a 4 line poem that ends with the word Timbuktu
The English prof goes first on stage. His poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Ran a dusty caravan
Men in camels, two by two,
Destination: Timbuktu.
The crowd bursts into applause. Not to be deterred, the r**... gets up and says,
Tim and I a-hunting went,
Met three w**... in a pick-up tent,
They were three, and we were two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
A poet and a Newfie die
They are met by St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Peter says that to get in they must make a poem that says Timbuktu. For the poet this was simple and he said ; I was walking in the desert sand. When I came across a caravan. Camels walking two by two. Destination Timbuktu
For the Newfie this was very hard because he new nothing about Timbuktu or even where it was. It took him three days, but he finally came up with one and he said ; Tim and I a hunting we went. Found three maidens in a tent. Since they were three and we were two I buck one and Tim buck two
Timbuktu
Two gentlemen are sitting at the pearly gates waiting to speak with St. Peter. St. Peter asks them both to recite a poem using the word Timbuktu.
They sat there for a bit and the first guy says "While sitting on the ocean shore, listening to the ocean roar, I saw a ship passing through, it's destination, Timbuktu." St. Peter smiled and allowed him through the gates.
The second guy was having a very hard time coming up with a poem. After a long while he finally says "Tim and I, a walking we went, spotted three maidens in a tent. While they were three and we were two, I bucked one and Timbuktu."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
NCAA poetry contest was last night.
It got down to two finalists. A rich law student from Duke and r**... from Texas A&M. For the final round the contestants got five minutes to come up with a four line poem that uses the word "Timbuktu." After about a minute and a half the rich fella from Duke stands up and says:
Out upon the dusty sand
Traveled the roaming caravan
Camel and man traveling two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd went wild. Everyone was wondering if the r**... would be able to top that. About 30 seconds before his time ran out the r**... hit the clock, eased up out of his seat, and said:
Tim and me a-hunting went
came upon three w**... in a pop up tent
They were three and we but two
So I buck one and Tim buck two
...The r**... won.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poetry Competition
The two finalists at the annual poetry competition were an Ivy League college graduate and a r**.... The final stage of the competition was to write a rhyming poem using the word *Timbuktu.* The college graduate stands up to the microphone and starts.
>A desert caravan astray beneath a dusk deep blue
>On a path unknown the camels walk two by two
>Men search the stars for a bearing true
>Destination Timbuktu
The crowd erupted with applause then settled back into their seats. The r**... approaches the microphone, clears his t**... and begins to speak.
>Me n' Tim a huntin' went
>Met three w**... in a pop up tent
>They was three and we was two
>So I buck'd one and Tim-buck'd-two
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Timbuktu
In the finals of a national poetry contest, the last two contestants are a Harvard graduate and a r**.... The Harvard graduate steps forward to receive the last subject. The judges tell him 'Timbuktu'. He thinks for a moment and recites his poem:
Across the vast and open sands
March a lonely caravan.
As they march, two by two
Destination Timbuktu
The crowd goes wild as the r**... steps forward. The judges tell him his subject is Timbuktu. He thinks for a while, when a big grin spreads across his face.
A huntin me and my friend Tim went.
We found three w**... in a pop-up tent.
Of them were three, and of us were two,
so I bucked one and Tim-buck-two!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ice Fishing Blonde
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The poetry contest
There was a prestigious, international poetry contest held in a glamorous foreign city. Contestants had come from all over the world and by the end there was one man whom everyone thought was going to win and a camo-wearing, baccer-chewing r**... that everyone wondered what was doing there. In the final round of the competition, the contestants were given a word and had to come up with a poem in thirty seconds. During the very last round, the contestants stood at the podium and were given the word; Timbuktu.
The shoo-in went first. He thought for thirty seconds, then stepped up to the microphone and said:
"Across the desert, wind and sand,
Trekked the lonely caravan.
Men and camels, two by two,
Destination; Timbuktu."
The audience erupted with applause. When it died down, the r**... grinned and stepped to the microphone and without missing a beat he recited:
"Tim and me a-huntin' went.
Found three w**... in a popped-up tent.
Them was three and us was two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was once a poetry competition...
and it was down to the final two contestants. The first was an English Lit professor from Harvard while the second was a country boy from the back woods of Alabama who had somehow made it that far.
For the finals the moderator says "Gentleman, I will now ask each of you to create a poem using the word 'Timbuctu.' Good luck and may the best man win. Harvard, you may go first."
The professor takes the stage, stands there for a second, clears his t**... and says -
"Across the burning desert sands, winds a lonely caravan.
Camels traveling two by two, destination Timbuctu"
The audience is thoroughly impressed and considers the competition practically over, but Alabama still gets his shot.
He slowly takes the stage and scratches his head for a minute before beginning-
"A camping me and Tim we went,
Met three girls in a pop-up tent,
They were three and we were two,
So I bucked one and Tim bucked two"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Poetry Contest
The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a red-neck from Southeast Tennessee A & M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started, he jumped up and recited the following poem:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The audience went wild!! How, they wondered could the red neck top that?! The clock started again and the red neck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three w**... in a pop-up tent.
They were three, we was two,
So, I bucked one and Timbuktu.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift.
Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.
When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in.
Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There are no fish in there”.
So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.
So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there.
So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.
“How do you know there are no fish there?” asks the blonde.
So the man c**... says “Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you’re going to have to pay for those holes.”