Films Jokes

Following is our collection of filmmaker puns and movie one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Films jokes for adults, dirty roles jokes and clean bollywood dad gags for kids.

The Best Films Puns

Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on...

because you know what they say about old habits...

My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films...

He forgot to show Up

Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one.

He's never gonna give you Up.

A man walks into a bar, and sees King Kong having a drink...

Now, the man loves all of Kong's films, so he decides to walk up to him. He says, "wow! King Kong! I'm such a big fan. Sorry to bother you, but do you have time for a photo? "

King Kong suddenly looks up, checks his watch.

He turns to the man and says "sorry, I've a plane to catch".

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive?

American comedy films.


Why did the star wars films go 456 123 789

In charge of scheduling, Yoda was

I watched the Harry Potter films for the first time at the weekend

They were okay, but a bit unrealistic: a ginger schoolkid with two friends?

Does your dog bite?

A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."

My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.

I liked the Harry Potter books and films but...

I think the character Nearly Headless Nick was a bit poorly executed

Rick Astley asked for my Disney films the other day.

I said, you can have Cars and Toy Story, but I'm never gonna give you Up.

Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films

Because you know what they say about old habits...


A clever Russian is planning on a streaming service exclusively for banned films.

He's going to call it Nyetflix.

There is at least one great philosophy in each of Brad Bird's films

The Incredibles: "When everyone's special, nobody is."

Ratatouille: "Not everyone can become a great artist, but a great artist can come from anywhere."

The Iron Giant: "Screw our country, I want to live."

My friend and I recently watched the Star Wars films back to back in preparation for The Last Jedi...

unfortunately I wasn't the one facing the screen.

I went on a blind date with a fellow movie buff

Talk soon started about our love of the silver screen. She asked if I was in to Indie films and I said" of course they are some of the best!". "ok", she replied, "what's your favourite then?"

"I don't think you can look past Raiders of the Lost Ark personally, but the Last crusade is a close 2nd"

My wife said she is leaving me because I always mis-quote the Terminator films.

She'll be back.

I like watching horror films behind the sofa.

That way my neighbours don't know I'm there.

Last night, my wife and I watched 4 films back to back

Luckily, I was facing the TV

I'm pretty sure I've figured out my neighbour's 3 favourite films

* 10,000,000 Explosions

* Army Guys Yelling at Each Other

* Subwoofer: The Movie


Arnold Schwarzenegger is retiring from doing films.

He already has a new gig in mind. He wants to be an exterminator.

Brits

They drive a German Car
They go to Irish Pubz
To drink Belgium beer
They get a Chinese Takeaway on the way back
They sit on Swedish furniture
They watch American films
On a Japanese TV


Most of all though they are suspicious of all things foreign



Courtesy of Rick Wakemam who I'm doing lighting for tonight. (super chill guy btw)

I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in.....



"Troy." he said, suddenly.

"I am." I replied. "Give me a minute"

What did Buzz say to Woody?

A lot, I mean there were three movies and a couple short films in that franchise.

Did you hear about the gay amnesiac who stared in pornographic films?

He never knew he had it in him

James and giant peach should have been serialized into a number of films.

Dave and the giant strawberry.
John and the giant cantelope.
Your mom and the giant cucumber.

A man goes to Blockbuster and starts looking at films

He goes through different genres until he stops at superheroes and ask to the shop assistant:

\- Could I rent "Batman Forever"?

And the shop assistant replies:

\- No, Batman returns always to the shop

My gf is one of those people who ruin films by asking silly questions when you're trying to concentrate...

Last night we were watching *Schindler's List* when she leant over and whispered in my ear "why are you fapping?"

I should stay up until 3 in the morning more often

I want to make a show with the two actors who have played Khan in the different Star Trek films where we discuss literature. We will call it "Prose and Khans".

Why are they making so many Fast & Furious films?

So they can make Fast10 Your Seatbelts .

I went to see a night of XXX short films!

Imagine my disappointment when it was just 30 Roman movies.

Did you know that all of the Hobbit films were recorded in L.A.

Yeah, you could tell by the Smaug.

Called up the movie theater to find out what the order was for the double feature horror films.

It follows It Follows.

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.

This is the place for wordplay, right?

Did you all hear Alex Jones likes Transgender Adult films?

Looks like the shoe's on the other futa now!

Alternate dimensions joke

A man learns how to go into alternate dimensions where he can become other people. He says "This is awesome, I've always wanted to be Arnold Schwarzenegger acting in the Terminator films, but I've also always wanted to compose classical music. So first, I'll be Bach"

Best films of all time Lord of the rings and the Hobbit trilogies...

Now that's what I'm Tolkien about.

What do you call a lumberjack who directs gothic films?

Timber-ton.

My friend keeps hiding Disney films in my lunch.

I'm fed up.

He saved his family three times in the Taken films and got no thanks.

The next one should be called Taken 4: Granted

What do you call an elderly woman who stars in films?

A Geriactress.

Why did the producers of 007 films use government debt to fund their newest film?

Because interest in the Bond is so low.

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.

My wife is one of those annoying people that ruins films by asking questions.

Last night we were watching Schindler's List and she stupidly asked, "Why are you wanking?".

What's the deal with short films?

I'm so tall that I have to squint to see them!

There is an abundance of stallone jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes and films puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any incredibles witze you can hear about films.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes