Film Jokes
139 film jokes and hilarious film puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about film that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes a humorous look at the world of film, from Tamil film to Pixar, from airplane films to biopics. Discover the funniest jokes from the world of movies and documentaries, and get ready to laugh out loud.
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Funniest Film Short Jokes
Short film jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The film humour may include short movie jokes also.
- My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
- The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
- Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
- If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare... ...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.
- I did an essay on The Room. For school, I had to write an essay based on a film, so I decided to do it on "The Room". I think I did well, because I got a hi mark.
- My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up
- I'm making a film about emos. I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.
- The moon landings were faked… But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.
- I hate it when people talk and eat loud in the cinema. Like shutup, I'm trying to film a movie here!
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Film One Liners
Which film one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with film? I can suggest the ones about video and fiction.
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel. She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
- What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry? Popcorn
- Two mice are chewing on a film roll One says, "I liked the book better"
- Can't wait to see Liam Neeson's new film Taken: Out Of Context.
- what do you call someone who films spices? A cinnamon-tographer!
- Last night I paused the film to make a cup of tea. I've now lost my job at the cinema.
- Last night I watched the uncut version of the film Scarface. It was called Face.
- I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane we're currently filming the pilot
- What do you call a Swedish spy film? The Bjorn Identity.
- What is William Shatner's favorite film festival? *CAAAAAAAAANNES!!!* ^^^^^^imsosorry
- Warhorse walks into a bar The barman says "why the long film"
- Why are there not many films about Abraham Lincoln? He doesn't do well in theaters.
- Have you seen that new film about a tractor? Me neither, just saw the trailer.
- I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East It's titled A Kuwait Place
Film Director Jokes
Here is a list of funny film director jokes and even better film director puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A director and composer are arguing about the score of a film Composer: Is it really THAT important that there are no voices in any of the tracks?
Director: It's instrumental - What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid Quentin Quarantino.
- Say what you want about The Human Centipede The film's director really knew how to bring people together...
- My wife is a film director and I really can not stand it. Every time we go out somewhere, she makes a scene.
- I've only told my closest friend that I lost my job as a film director. ##
## I don't want to make a scene. - My friend said "Women directors have never had major success with a live action film" So I said, "Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy."
- Just came off a job filming an advert for Mexican food. I thought the last shot was of some tortillas, but as we finished, the director shouted, 'That's a wrap.'
- The moon landings are staged and, in fact, completely created by a film crew and everything. The only thing is that the director was too lazy so he said just to film it on location.
- Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves
- Horror film director George A Romero has died… Give him a few minutes...
Film Set Jokes
Here is a list of funny film set jokes and even better film set puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts. The sequels going to be set in a different department.
This time it's personnel. - A new set designer was hired at the filming company. He was fired shortly after for making a scene.
- Action films set unrealistic expectations. I just tried to jump onto a moving train but I destroyed my son's Scalextric.
- My dog got a new job in Hollywood working on a film set... He's the best boy!
- Set for First Man movie Did you hear where they filmed the movie First Man?
On the set of the original landing. - I've just been watching an unusual martial arts film set in a semaphorists' hospice It's called The House Of The Dying Flaggers.
- I heard there was a video leak from the set of a new Michael Bay movie... It's being filmed at some port in China.
Horror Film Jokes
Here is a list of funny horror film jokes and even better horror film puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like watching horror films behind the sofa. That way my neighbours don't know I'm there.
- Called up the movie theater to find out what the order was for the double feature horror films. It follows It Follows.
- What do you get when you cross a horror film with a reality TV show? The evening news
- New horror film inspired by Facebook I liked what you did last summer.
- If Michael Jackson were a slasher in a horror film who would he be? Jason VorHEE-HEEs.
- "My girlfriend had a seizure during a horror film last night," I told the doctor. "Was it traumatic?" he asked.
I said, "Not really, but there were a few jump scares." - A paraplegic gets hired to play a lead role in a horror film The Silence of The Limbs
- Today I watched a horror film. An OSHA instruction video.
- People usually hate on horror films, but the thing is... A great example of the genre and a fantastic film overall
- You know that crossover,between those two great horror film... Did you saw it ?
Silent Film Jokes
Here is a list of funny silent film jokes and even better silent film puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was offered a part in a silent film. I'm speechless.
- I watched a silent film version of Stephen Kings "it" the other day. It was Shh-it.
- A silent film star died today. He had no final words.
- what's the worst thing to say to someone who has "a face for radio"? ........you have the voice for a silent film
- Saw a Silent Film Festival today Logged into FB & scrolled through the feed.
- There is a new Jason vs Michael Myers movie coming out... ..I guess it will be a silent film?
Witty Film Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about film you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cinema jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make film pranks.
The Kodak Film company filed for bankruptcy..
More details to come as the story develops
Following the recent anti-Islam film made, there will be a film made to mock Jesus Christ.
It will be released in 1979 and will be called Life of Brian
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Name three things that come in a little yellow box
Kodak film, dots candy and w**... Allen.
Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row?
He was a Die Hard fan.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'
Does your dog bite?
A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."
My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.
Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films
Because you know what they say about old habits...
I was talking to my Irish mate about Brad Pitt's films, but I could not remember the name of that historical Greek film he was in.....
"Troy." he said, suddenly.
"I am." I replied. "Give me a minute"
So I was in the movie theatre...
and I was watching an incredibly sad film. So sad that the man behind me started wailing, then he hit me in the head with a harpoon.
I wouldn't say my wife was fat.......
.....but she wore a white dress to the cinema last night and they showed the film on her back!
Nineteen blondes go to the cinema...
when the ticket vendor asked why there are so many of them they replied "the film said 18 or over".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you see the film about the guy who can't stop crywanking?
It was a tearjerker.
How do you tell the difference between an adult film star and a psychiatrist?
Ask them to pronounce the word analyzed.
They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day
Taken 4: Granted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm writing a film about a cannibal undead tax exile who plays drums, eats your mother and then is sick.
It's a nondomtomtomnomnommomvomromzomcom
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was watching the film, 'A Perfect m**...,' with my wife
She told me she was getting scared.
"Is it the storyline?" I asked.
"Not really," she replied. "Stop taking notes."
A man goes to see a film alone...
...and sits down next to a young boy, who has a golden retriever sitting on the seat aside him.
The film starts, but the man has a hard time paying attention. As the film progresses, his focus is increasingly diverted to the young boy and his golden retriever. The dog is laughing uproariously during all the funny scenes, gasping and pointing during all the shocking scenes, wooping and hurrahing during all the action scenes, and gently sobbing during all the dramatic scenes. By the end of the film, the man is utterly awestruck by this wondrous animal.
As the film draws to a close and the credits begin to roll, the man leans over and addresses the boy: "That animal of yours is absolutely amazing! He laughed, he cried, he gasped, he cheered. He enjoyed the film on every level that it could possibly be enjoyed. I am thoroughly impressed".
The boy says: "I'm impressed too! He hated the book..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Today I m**... 8 times! A personal record for me...
In my defence Schindler's list was a long film
I'm directing a film...
... And starring in it, as a shaggy groundskeeper from Northern New England who leads midnight raids on the estate's garden.
I'm the main character, mane caretaker, Maine carrot-taker.
I heard Steven Spielberg is directing a film about a fat alien...
It's called "Eat-T, The Extra Cholesterol".
What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?
Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me..
I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?
What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?
Daeshcams
A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)
Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the psychiatrist wearing only cling film.
He said "well, I can clearly see your nuts"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was beaten to a lead role in a film, and have planned to get my revenge with Matt Damon ever since.
I'll make him wish he'd never been Bourne.
"What's your favourite Pixar film?", my dad asked
I replied, "Up, yours?"
My dad gave me a weird look and said, "No need to be like that, I was only asking."
I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...
...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Finding Nemo is a real thriller!
The 2018 STAR WARS movie isn't part of a trilogy...
...it's a Solo film
LPT: Start a film on your laptop before you go to bed.
That way, the NSA will have something to watch while you sleep. ^_^
The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.
I went to the doctor after I swallowed a roll of film
He said we should wait and see if anything develops
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lenin in Warsaw
A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, n**..., having mad s**... with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.
I'm planning to make a film series on databases.
I've got the first part ready, but I can't think of a SQL.
Injured myself during an Ironman marathon the other day
Got up too fast after watching the third film
Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me.
He really touched me.
Laughing Dog
A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it.
When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said:
" I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film.
"So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"
Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.
One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero.
Auntman
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In an upcoming film, Matthew McConaughey is going to play a Neo-n**...
He's gonna be alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
Batman, but it's a Japanese action film
Mighty Orphan Power Ranger
Watched a film called Speed Walker
To be honest, I found it hard to keep up. The pacing was terrible.
Two blondes at the cinema, one says to the other I bet that girl falls out of that boat and into the lake, second blonde, no way, I bet you 50 bucks, sure enough the girl falls into the lake, second blonde says how did you know that?
first blonde, I saw this film last week, second says so did I, didn't think she would do it twice.
[Mild Infinity War Spoiler] Did you guys see Peter Dinklage in the new Avengers film?
It was his biggest role to date.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...
"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"
I watched a film about cheese.
It was G-Rated.
"Doctor, doctor! My little boy just swallowed a roll of film!"
Doctor: Well, let's hope nothing develops.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is sitting at a bar when a cop runs in.
"Sir," the cop shouts, holding up a s**... of undeveloped film, "Is this you?!"
The man looks at the film s**..., then at the officer. "That's a negative, sir."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've been working on a film about m**... in the 60s.
It's a period piece.
Filming *Aladdin* must have been physically very hard on Will Smith.
I understand that at the end of each day shooting he was black and blue.
Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.
He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
Which knee is hurting you, Walt?
The famous film producer points to his left knee.
Disney.
A man goes to the movies and sees a large dog sitting next to a woman watching the film
He says to her "I am surprised your dog is enjoying this movie"
The woman replies "Me too, he hated the book"
So Mark Zuckerberg and The Pope walk into a bar...
They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...
Alien vs Predator
Why don't film soundtracks use jazz and classical?
Too much sax and violins.
To cut a long story short,
I became a film editor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but cling film.
Doctor says I can clearly see you're nuts.
A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies
In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.
20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.
Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"
What do you call an all female team of film editors?
The Splice Girls
It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes
And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.
Meat Loaf has made great music. Meat Loaf has had iconic film roles. Meat Loaf will see his 75th Birthday
Whoops. Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.
Liam Neeson struggles with being unappreciated after saving his family several times.
His next film is going to be "Taken 4 Granted."
I made a movie about farm life...
...but the film quality was too grainy and the plot was very corny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the movie studio cancel the film about m**...?
They wanted to move away from period pieces.
Have you heard about the film they're making, where Dallas gets destroyed by space junk?
Debris Does Dallas.
