Film Jokes
146 film jokes and hilarious film puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about film that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article takes a humorous look at the world of film, from Tamil film to Pixar, from airplane films to biopics. Discover the funniest jokes from the world of movies and documentaries, and get ready to laugh out loud.
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Funniest Film Short Jokes
Short film jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The film humour may include short movie jokes also.
- My girlfriend and I went on our 9th date to see the new Batman film. Our dates can be summarized as followed: Dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
- The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
- The show "COPS" is no longer filmed honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras
- Apparently Bruce Willis is only going to concentrate on action films from now on... because you know what they say about old habits...
- If you give a monkey a typewriter, it will eventually write Shakespeare... ...If you give a monkey a camcorder, it will eventually film a dead body and post it to the internet.
- I did an essay on The Room. For school, I had to write an essay based on a film, so I decided to do it on "The Room". I think I did well, because I got a hi mark.
- My buddy just lost his job at a cinema that only shows Pixar films... He forgot to show Up
- Rick Astley will lend you any of the Pixar films in his collection, except one. He's never gonna give you Up.
- I just saw that Harry Potter film. I think its a bit unrealistic if you ask me.. I mean, a ginger kid, with two friends? How?
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Film One Liners
Which film one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with film? I can suggest the ones about video and fiction.
- The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called.... fast 10 Your Seat Belt.
- Caitlin Jenner just signed a deal with Marvel. She is going to be in the new Ex-Men film.
- What starts with 'p' ends with 'orn' and plays a major role in the film industry? Popcorn
- Two mice are chewing on a film roll One says, "I liked the book better"
- Can't wait to see Liam Neeson's new film Taken: Out Of Context.
- Have you see the film about the guy who can't stop crywanking? It was a tearjerker.
- I recently watched a pirated film. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give it a 3.14.
- what do you call someone who films spices? A cinnamon-tographer!
- Last night I paused the film to make a cup of tea. I've now lost my job at the cinema.
- Last night I watched the uncut version of the film Scarface. It was called Face.
- I'm making a new documentary on how to fly a plane we're currently filming the pilot
- What do you call a Swedish spy film? The Bjorn Identity.
- Two mice chewing on a film roll One of them goes, "I think the book was better"
- What is William Shatner's favorite film festival? *CAAAAAAAAANNES!!!* ^^^^^^imsosorry
- Warhorse walks into a bar The barman says "why the long film"
Film Director Jokes
Here is a list of funny film director jokes and even better film director puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The moon landings were faked… But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.
- A director and composer are arguing about the score of a film Composer: Is it really THAT important that there are no voices in any of the tracks?
Director: It's instrumental - What would you call a Hollywood film director who is isolating from Covid Quentin Quarantino.
- Say what you want about The Human Centipede The film's director really knew how to bring people together...
- The moon landing was fake But the film director demanded they film on site
- My wife is a film director and I really can not stand it. Every time we go out somewhere, she makes a scene.
- What do you call a film director with an STD? Alfred 'ItchCock
- I know a film director that only hires overweight actors and actresses, even if they're terrible. I think it's flabbercasting.
- I've only told my closest friend that I lost my job as a film director. ##
## I don't want to make a scene. - My friend said "Women directors have never had major success with a live action film" So I said, "Nonsense! Just look at the Matrix trilogy."
Film Set Jokes
Here is a list of funny film set jokes and even better film set puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I'm making a silent film set in the Middle East It's titled A Kuwait Place
- I've written a script for a film about an action hero who works in accounts. The sequels going to be set in a different department.
This time it's personnel. - A new set designer was hired at the filming company. He was fired shortly after for making a scene.
- Did you see the headline about the film director who stormed off set after someone filled his trailer with herbs? Michael Bay Leaves
- Action films set unrealistic expectations. I just tried to jump onto a moving train but I destroyed my son's Scalextric.
- My dog got a new job in Hollywood working on a film set... He's the best boy!
- Set for First Man movie Did you hear where they filmed the movie First Man?
On the set of the original landing. - I've just been watching an unusual martial arts film set in a semaphorists' hospice It's called The House Of The Dying Flaggers.
- I heard there was a video leak from the set of a new Michael Bay movie... It's being filmed at some port in China.
- What do you call a t**... that's been left on a film set? A period piece
Horror Film Jokes
Here is a list of funny horror film jokes and even better horror film puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man was watching TV at home He said out loud "Run you idiot!"
His wife heard him and asked "Are you watching a horror film?"
He responded "Nah. Just our wedding tape." - I like watching horror films behind the sofa. That way my neighbours don't know I'm there.
- Called up the movie theater to find out what the order was for the double feature horror films. It follows It Follows.
- What do you get when you cross a horror film with a reality TV show? The evening news
- New horror film inspired by Facebook I liked what you did last summer.
- If Michael Jackson were a slasher in a horror film who would he be? Jason VorHEE-HEEs.
- Horror film director George A Romero has died… Give him a few minutes...
- "My girlfriend had a seizure during a horror film last night," I told the doctor. "Was it traumatic?" he asked.
I said, "Not really, but there were a few jump scares." - A paraplegic gets hired to play a lead role in a horror film The Silence of The Limbs
- Today I watched a horror film. An OSHA instruction video.
Silent Film Jokes
Here is a list of funny silent film jokes and even better silent film puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was offered a part in a silent film. I'm speechless.
- I watched a silent film version of Stephen Kings "it" the other day. It was Shh-it.
- A silent film star died today. He had no final words.
- I just got the lead in a silent film I'm absolutely speechless
- I've decided to take my life in a new direction - silent film. I'm going to start with easy stuff - probably adaptations of Steven King novels. The first one is going to be titled Shhh, It .
- what's the worst thing to say to someone who has "a face for radio"? ........you have the voice for a silent film
- Saw a Silent Film Festival today Logged into FB & scrolled through the feed.
- There is a new Jason vs Michael Myers movie coming out... ..I guess it will be a silent film?
Witty Film Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about film you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cinema jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make film pranks.
The Kodak Film company filed for bankruptcy..
More details to come as the story develops
How many skateboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw it in and one to film it.
**Alternate Ending**
One, but it takes him fifty tries.
How many Atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to actually do it, the other to film it so fundamentalists won't claim that God did it.
An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.
It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary's church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O'Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.
When will the madness end?
Following the recent anti-Islam film made, there will be a film made to mock Jesus Christ.
It will be released in 1979 and will be called Life of Brian
Name three things that come in a little yellow box
Kodak film, dots candy and w**... Allen.
Did you hear about the guy who watched that new Bruce Willis film five times in a row?
He was a Die Hard fan.
Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to play Mozart.
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered the chance to play the role of Mozart in a new film. He read the script but was not impressed. So he told the producers 're-write it and I'll be Bach.'
Does your dog bite?
A man walks in the park and sees a man with a dog sitting on a bench.
"Does your dog bite?", asks the first man.
"No"
The man proceeds to pet the dog, but the dog bites him.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite?!", he says quite angry.
"This is not my dog."
My mom told me this joke, it's from one of the films of 'pink panther'. I've never seen the film though.
Bruce Willis was offered a role in the new Star Wars film, but turned it down to concentrate on action films
Because you know what they say about old habits...
So I was in the movie theatre...
and I was watching an incredibly sad film. So sad that the man behind me started wailing, then he hit me in the head with a harpoon.
Nineteen blondes go to the cinema...
when the ticket vendor asked why there are so many of them they replied "the film said 18 or over".
Heard this one in a film you all might have seen
A man is talking to his son and says,
"You know, son, if you don't stop m**..., you're going to go blind."
The son says, "Dad, I'm over here."
I hear scientists have recently started using lawyers as opposed to rats for scientific experiments...
They do this for two reasons;
One, The scientists become less attached to the lawyers.
And two, there are certain things that even *rats* won't do.
(This is a joke from the film, **Hook**. I never realized how funny it was)
How do you tell the difference between an adult film star and a psychiatrist?
Ask them to pronounce the word analyzed.
Big difference between men and women when they say...
There's a big difference between men and women when they say:
"I finished an entire box of tissues watching that film last night"
They should make another Taken film about how unappreciative Neesons' family is for saving them every other day
Taken 4: Granted.
I was watching the film, 'A Perfect m**...,' with my wife
She told me she was getting scared.
"Is it the storyline?" I asked.
"Not really," she replied. "Stop taking notes."
A man goes to see a film alone...
...and sits down next to a young boy, who has a golden retriever sitting on the seat aside him.
The film starts, but the man has a hard time paying attention. As the film progresses, his focus is increasingly diverted to the young boy and his golden retriever. The dog is laughing uproariously during all the funny scenes, gasping and pointing during all the shocking scenes, wooping and hurrahing during all the action scenes, and gently sobbing during all the dramatic scenes. By the end of the film, the man is utterly awestruck by this wondrous animal.
As the film draws to a close and the credits begin to roll, the man leans over and addresses the boy: "That animal of yours is absolutely amazing! He laughed, he cried, he gasped, he cheered. He enjoyed the film on every level that it could possibly be enjoyed. I am thoroughly impressed".
The boy says: "I'm impressed too! He hated the book..."
Have you seen that new film about a tractor?
Me neither, just saw the trailer.
Today I m**... 8 times! A personal record for me...
In my defence Schindler's list was a long film
What's the difference between men and women when watching video?
The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. usually has a completely different meaning.
An elderly couple are at the cinema...
About halfway through the film, the wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent f**...; what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'You should put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
What if animals "were" injured in the making of a film. Do they list that in the credits?
Tim hurt one monkey. He is very sorry.
What do the Russians use to film their war with Isis?
Daeshcams
A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)
Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"
I'm making a film about emos.
I really need to stop saying "cut!" at the end of each scene.
What's the biggest difference between men and women?
The phrase I went through a whole box of tissues watching that film. is a good place to start.
I went to the psychiatrist wearing only cling film.
He said "well, I can clearly see your nuts"
"What's your favourite Pixar film?", my dad asked
I replied, "Up, yours?"
My dad gave me a weird look and said, "No need to be like that, I was only asking."
I just watched a film where a man's wife is brutally murdered and his son is left physically disabled...
...Then in a twisted turn of events, his son is kidnapped and he has to chase the kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Finding Nemo is a real thriller!
LPT: Start a film on your laptop before you go to bed.
That way, the NSA will have something to watch while you sleep. ^_^
The wife & I have just been to the cinema to see that film, Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman's struggle... full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park, we rushed in and caught the credits.
I went to the doctor after I swallowed a roll of film
He said we should wait and see if anything develops
Lenin in Warsaw
A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opens—on Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, n**..., having mad s**... with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, but—where was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.
Injured myself during an Ironman marathon the other day
Got up too fast after watching the third film
Growing up in the film industry, Harvey Weinstein was a huge influence for me.
He really touched me.
Laughing Dog
A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it.
When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said:
" I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film.
"So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"
Two goats were behind a Hollywood movie studio eating an old movie film.
One goat said to the other, "Pretty good, huh?"
The second goat said, "Yeah, but not as good as the book".
I hate it when people talk and eat loud in the cinema.
Like shutup, I'm trying to film a movie here!
Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero.
Auntman
In an upcoming film, Matthew McConaughey is going to play a Neo-n**...
He's gonna be alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.
Batman, but it's a Japanese action film
Mighty Orphan Power Ranger
[Mild Infinity War Spoiler] Did you guys see Peter Dinklage in the new Avengers film?
It was his biggest role to date.
Two goats chew on a VHS tape.
The first goat says "*This film is pretty good"* and the other one replies: "*Yeah, it's OK but the book was better."*
A wife tells her husband that she's discovered his secret f**... via his search history...
"It was a weird one for sure," she says, "but I think I can make it work without being too embarrassed, as long as you don't film it." He accepts.
Later that night, he asks her if she wants to try it. She smiles, begins to undress, and goes "SKIPPITY BEE BOP BEE BOP DUP-A DUAAA"
I watched a film about cheese.
It was G-Rated.
Movies
Friend 1: I just watched a film in which a man's wife is brutally murdered by a serial killer and his son is left physically disabled. In a twisted turn of events his son is kidnapped and has to chase thr kidnapper thousands of miles with the help of a mentally disabled woman.
Friend 2 : Uhhh....what was it called?
Friend 1: Finding Nemo
Walt Disney notices a sharp pain in his knee.
He starts rubbing it, icing it, elevating it on a pillow. But over the following days it only grows worse. He visits his doctor and reports this pain.
Which knee is hurting you, Walt?
The famous film producer points to his left knee.
Disney.
A man goes to the movies and sees a large dog sitting next to a woman watching the film
He says to her "I am surprised your dog is enjoying this movie"
The woman replies "Me too, he hated the book"
So Mark Zuckerberg and The Pope walk into a bar...
They sit down when suddenly Mark spills his drink on The Popes' robes. They get into a fight. A film crew recorded them duking it out and made a film out of it...
Alien vs Predator
I hear that the Government hired Stanley Kubrick to help film The Fake Moon Landing
But since Kubrick was such a perfectionist he forced the Government to film on location.
To cut a long story short,
I became a film editor.
If the characters were gay, Saving Private Ryan would have been a way shorter film.
There is no way a group of gay men would have taken 3 hours to find Matt Damon
A man walks into his therapists office n**..., save for being completely wrapped up in cling film.
The therapist looked up at him, and said:
"Well, I can clearly see you're nuts!"
Guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but cling film.
Doctor says I can clearly see you're nuts.
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians
.
One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."
Another says, "I'll be Mozart."
-
In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."
A blonde and her boyfriend went to the movies
In the film, the main character is running through the storm so she says, "I bet you £20, that they don't get struck by lightning."
And her boyfriend agrees.
20 seconds later the main character is stuck by lightning and the blonde looks confused and gets £20 to give.
Her boyfriend said "I can't take this, I have seen the movie before."
She replies, "So have I but I didn't think lightning would strike twice in the same place!"
While discussing horror movies, my friend asked me who my favorite monster from film is.
Me: "Hmmm that's a tough one. I think I'd have to go with the vampire from Sesame Street."
Friend: "What!? He doesn't count."
Me: "Oh I assure you, he does."
It's ironic that Thelma and Louise spend an entire film challenging sexist stereotypes
And then die at the end because of their terrible driving.
Meat Loaf has made great music. Meat Loaf has had iconic film roles. Meat Loaf will see his 75th Birthday
Whoops. Now don't be sad, 'cause two out of three ain't bad.
My friend asked me, What's your favourite Pixar film?
I said, Up. Yours?
He said, Wow! That's super rude.
Liam Neeson struggles with being unappreciated after saving his family several times.
His next film is going to be "Taken 4 Granted."
Why did the movie studio cancel the film about m**...?
They wanted to move away from period pieces.
