Filling Jokes
134 filling jokes and hilarious filling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about filling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a good laugh? Check out this collection of jokes about dentists, cleaners, gasoline, and dug. Whether you're trying to make someone smile or just need a good chuckle, these jokes will have you rolling on the floor in no time!
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Funniest Filling Short Jokes
Short filling jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The filling humour may include short fills jokes also.
- My friend just told me, 'I hope you die in a deep hole filled with water'. I know he means well.
- I was digging a hole in my backyard when I found a box filled with gold. I was so excited that I ran inside to tell my wife. Then I remembered why I was digging the hole in the first place.
- My friend is really optimistic and is always telling me : "Cheer up, you could be in a deep hole filled with water..." I know he means well...
- The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision I can just see it now.
- My coworker just found out she won't be able to attend next week's Innuendo Conference… I guess I'll have to fill her slot instead.
- Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
- Batman: "It's been a long day. Alfred, please fill up the bathtub." Alfred: "Master Bruce, what's a htub?"
- Had to stop at the gas station to fill my tires… They raised the price to $1.50. I just can't believe the cost of inflation these days.
- Terrorists have hijacked a plane filled with politicians... They say they will release one politician per hour if their demands aren't met.
- I was telling jokes at a bar filled with LGBTQ+ people I was doing such a good job nobody could keep a straight face.
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Filling One Liners
Which filling one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with filling? I can suggest the ones about filing and firing.
- How do you jump higher on a water bed? You fill it with spring water.
- What did Harry Potter say when he was filling up his car? Expensive Petroleum
- How many ants does it take to fill an apartment Tenants
- How many ants are needed to fill an apartment? Ten-ants
- My dentist is a really mean guy He always hurts my fillings.
- How many ants does it take to fill an apartment building? Ten ants.
- Why did the oreo cookie go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.
- People tell me filling animals with helium is bad.. But i say whatever floats your goat.
- I didn't find the food in Budapest very filling, so I left Hungary.
- I filled my inflatable girlfriend up with helium... and now she's playing hard to get!!!
- How many cars does it take to fill up a parking garage? A lot.
- Did you know? The pool on the Titanic is still filled with water.
- Why do dumplings never tell secrets? They’re good at “keeping their fillings”!
- Why did the dumpling refuse to go on a date? It was “filled” with anxiety!
- TIL the pool on the titanic is still filled with water to this day. Oh wait...
Dentist Filling Jokes
Here is a list of funny dentist filling jokes and even better dentist filling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings too.
- Be kind to your dentists They have fillings too
- The dentist A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Went and had a cavity fixed this morning," the guy tells the bartender. "But it wasn't my usual dentist. Just some guy filling in."
- The dentist asks, "What kind of filling do you want?" The child answers, "Chocolate!"
- I fell in love with a Dentist, she broke up with me. Now my heart has a cavity no one can fill.
- A dentist passed away His tombstone reads: "He filled his last cavity".
- My dentist hit me in the mouth... ...he really hurt my fillings.
- Why did the pie go to the dentist? It needed a filling.
- What do you call a frog that fills cavities? Dentist Hopper.
- Dentist's tombstone: "Here lies Frank Serra, filling his last cavity".
Cream Filling Jokes
Here is a list of funny cream filling jokes and even better cream filling puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I like my women like I like my coffee and donuts Cream filled
- What do blondes and Twinkies have in common? They're yellow and filled with cream.
- I like my women the way I like my coffee Hot,wet and filled with cream.
- I named my new sexbot eClaire. Because she's robotic -- and cream-filled.
- I like my women like I like my Twinkies.. Cream-filled
- A farmer joke As a lonely British farmer looking for love, I like my woman like my tea...
...Cold and filled with another farmer's cream - I like my donuts like I like my women Cream filled.
- I've decided on a name for my new Real Doll(s**...-bot). eClaire.
"Why?"
Because she'll be electronic and cream filled. - t**...'s and Twinks are very similar They are both small and filled with cream
- I had s**... with little Debbie. Now there's the cream filling!
Comical Filling Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about filling you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fitting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make filling pranks.
A man sees two blonde workers in a field digging holes.
One worker is digging the holes, and the other one is following close behind filling the holes in.
After watching this go on for a while, the observer decides to ask them that they are doing.
"Excuse me sir, but I have to ask. Why are you simply digging holes and filling them back in?"
One of the workers yells out, "Ah, you see we normally have a 3rd member on our crew, but the man who plants the trees called in sick today!"
Our local gravedigger recently became very ill...
I'm filling in for him.
Freedom Tower
Apparently they're having such a hard time filling office space in the new Freedom Tower, they've opened it up to big chain department stores...
Just what America needs — another Target.
Beer
This morning I was in luck and was able to buy two boxes of "Bud Light" cheap.
I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home. I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.
She glanced at the two boxes of beer, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a s**... voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, handsome. Would you be interested in trading s**... for beer?"
I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of beer 'ya got?"
What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister?
They are both in bread.
Soviet buy car
Go to Lada dealer. He choosing red one. They filling out papers. When finishing, dealer saying: You taking delivery in 23 years.
Soviet: Is in morning or afternoon?
Dealer: What difference is making?
Soviet: Plumber come in morning.
Does anyone else love thick sandwiches with three slices of bread and two layers of filling?
We should make a club.
A man on fire
A man is filling up his car tank with gasoline and accidentally gets some on his hand. He doesn't notice it, so when he gets into his car he lights a cigarette. His arm instantly catches on fire. The man sticks his arm out the window and begins to wave it around attempting to blow out the flames crawling up his sleeve. A policeman sees the man struggling with his arm on fire and arrests him on the spot for an unlicensed firearm.
Multiple choice test
A teacher has administered a multiple choice test to his students. During the exam he notices one student is flipping a quarter and then filling in his answer key. This continues throughout the exam. Nearing the end of the exam, the techer notices the student picking up pace. He is flipping his quarter faster and faster and frantically erasing and scribbling on his test. The teacher approaches the student and asks "what are you doing?"
"Just double checking my answers"
In a survival situation, you can drink your own u**......
Fortunately, my Wi-Fi came on just as I was filling the can
While filling out a survey, I came across the gender option: Canadian...
I guess you could say I'm Eh-s**....
s**... Pleasure is like a gas station
Sometimes you just fill up and leave
Sometimes you do none of the work
Sometimes you have to pay the person filling
Most of the time you end up at a Self Serve
In the beginning...
Miller Brewing said, "Let there be Lite."
The Fat Broad said, "Less filling, but I'm not sure it tastes great."
Whether it is six inches or twelve inches filling me...
I'll still pick Subway over Quiznos.
At Indian Restaurant
"Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!"
"Samosa?"
"No, thank you, I'm full now."
As a kid I was frightened of the dentist...
Because he was a p**...
every time I went in he'd give me a filling
Did you hear about the ex-p**... star who got fired from the gas station?
Every time he got close to filling the tank, he'd pull the nozzle out and spray gasoline all over the car.
Why did the donut go to the dentist?
To get a filling!
A man is with his wife who's filling up their flat tire with air...
"Since when do you need to pay to fill up a tire?" says the wife.
"I don't know," replies the husband. "But I'm sure it has something to do with inflation."
A man gets a STD test from his doctor...
...and while the doctor is filling out paperwork, he asks the man several questions to determine his risk of infection.
"Alright, last question, you're looking great so far." says the doc "Have you ever paid for s**...?"
The man thinks for a moment, and glancing out at his wife and kids through the examination room window, sighs, and says, "Every time..."
My brother and I work together at a gas station, filling cars
I now call him pump-kin.
Apparently filling animals with helium is "a**...", pfft
Whatever floats your goat, I guess.
Sherlock and Watson are filling in their college application.
Watson: Sherlock? Why have you skipped writing this essay?
Sherlock: It's supplementary my dear Watson
If you sit on your hands 15 minutes before filling in an exam,
it feels like somebody else is disappointing for your teacher.
Police Shooting
A lady was filling up the gas tank in her car and lit a cigarette to pass the time. After which a piece of ash fell onto her arm and started a fire. As she's flailing about trying to put the fire out, a police cruiser pulls into the station. Instinctively, she starts running towards the officer in an effort to get help. The police officer sees the lady running at him and shoots her, killing her
I guess you shouldn't run towards police officers if you have a firearm
DoooNuts!
What do you call the center of the donuts?
"Filling"
LOL
A man went to water his garden...
He didn't have a hose or a watering can, so he improvised by filling a bucket with water and throwing it all over the garden. However, when he did so, the water only landed on every other plant.
Shocked, the man threw his arms up in the air and shouted "water the odds!?"
A man is waiting for a bus, when he sees a blonde across the street digging a hole...
...and another blonde immediately filling the hole back in with dirt. He watches as they move up the street doing this over and over again. The first blonde digs a hole, and the second one fills the dirt right back in. After a few minutes, he decides to ask them "excuse me, what are you ladies doing?"
"We're working" the first blonde replies.
"Just the two of you?" He inquires.
"Well" the second blonde chimes in, "there's usually three of us, but the girl that plants the trees called out sick"
Why don't sharks eat more than one dentist at a time?
They're filling.
I got really emotional at the petrol station earlier.
I don't know what came over me, I just started filling up.
I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.
Well now that I'm older I don't fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.
I was a bit paranoid about my s**... prowess after catching my wife filling in a Cosmopolitan questionnaire -
"Is Your Man Bad In Bed?".
"It's just something to do when I'm bored" she protested.
"That's a relief," I replied, as I carried on thrusting.
A rich man gave a basket of trash to a poor man[translated from hebrew]
The poor man smiled to the rich man and went on his way.
After emptying cleaning and filling it with flowers the poor man returned to the rich man and gave him basket.
Supreized the rich man asks: "why did you give me a basket of flowers after i gave you a basket of trash?"
The poor man replies:
"We all give what's in our hearts".
Why did the faucet take a sick leave?
He wasn't filling so well.
Bartering with Beer
Yesterday morning I bought two six packs of beer on sale at the Liquor Store. I placed them on the front seat of the car and headed back home.
I stopped at the service station where a drop-dead gorgeous, almost blonde was filling up her car at the next pump. It was very warm and she was wearing tight shorts and a light top which was wide open. She glanced at the beer, bent over and knocked on my passenger window.
With her bra-less self almost falling out of her skimpy top she said, in a s**... voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fellow,
would you be interested in trading s**... for beer?"
I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"Depends on what kind of beer you've got!"
The founding fathers of Canada are sitting in front of a map filling in names for cities...
Pierre: "I suppose the capital there should have a name, too, me."
Gaton "ought to, uh?"
A man is filling is car up with gasoline ...
And spills some on his arm. He doesn't think anything of it. A few minutes later, he lights a cigarette and his arm catches on fire. He stuck an itnout the window to try and put it out, to no avail.
A policeman sees him, pulls him over, and helps him out out the fire. Then he writes him a ticket.
i**... transportation of a fire arm.
Two blondes were walking through the park digging holes and filling them up again.
One of them would dig the holes, and the other would fill them up. One man couldn't control his curiosity and asked the blondes why they were digging and filling holes pointlessly, to which one replied:
"Well, there was supposed to be another one of us planting saplings before we fill the holes, but she couldn't come so we'll have to make do without her."
A blonde...
...works in a petrol station filling up cars. One day, a spaceship with 'UFO' written on the side lands next to the blonde. The blonde cheerfully fills it with fuel and the spaceship flied off.
The blonde's boss, shocked, comes out to ask why she filled it up.
"Do you know what 'UFO' stands for?" He asks.
"Of course." She replies, "Unleaded Fuel Only".
credits to u/Mr-Everest
I was filling out an immigration form but when it asked "s**..." I tried to answer truthfully even though this is awkward...
I wrote "Occasionally". What can I say? I'm married.
A nun was fired from her job in heaven...
A nun was fired from her job in heaven, so she came down to earth and started looking for a job. One night, when she is filling out a job application, there is a question that asks her to check the boxes next to the jobs that she has previously worked at. She looks at the answers for a second, and then checks the box marked, "Nun of the above."
Little Nancy, 8, was filling a hole in her garden when
the nosey neighbor peered over the fence, and asked "What are you doing?"
Nancy replied, "Well my goldfish dies so I just buried him"
The obnoxious neighbor laughed and said in a condescending tone, "That is an awful big hole for a tiny gold fish"
As Nancy used her shovel to pat down the last heap of earth she replied, "Well he's in your cat"
I was filling my car with leaded gasoline wearing some comfortable aesbestos boots. As I popped a thalidomide pill into my mouth I thought...
"A government ban on assault weapons would never work..."
An owner of a box manufacturer company goes to his son's school one day...
"Hey kids, I make boxes! Have any questions?"
One kid raised his hand...
"Yea, why does my dad keep talking about filling my mom's box, shouldn't he get his own?"
"Shut up son."
An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond
As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"
Alabama
I bet the only good thing about living in Alabama is having your state come up first when you're filling out online information.
Almost got fired today for filling out a requisition form in Spanish.
No one expected it.
I was walking through the park and seen two blondes
I was walking through the park and seen two blondes. One was digging a hole and the other was filling it in. I asked what was going on and they said there's usually three of us but the one who plants the tree in on the sick
I was filling up my car and fuel leaked onto the ground in the shape of "HA."
Guess someone knew I needed some laughing gas.
Did you hear about the guy that quit his job at a quilt filling factory?
He said he was fed up of feeling down...
I ran into R. Kelly while he was filling out a March Madness bracket.
He was picking primarily the 14s and 15s.
Turns out he's really into #1 too.
I was filling in an online survey when it asked me what state I lived in
Apparently "constant despair" isn't an appropriate answer.
One time I had a doughnut stuffed with icing
It was filling!
Did you hear about the golfer that went to the dentist for a filling?
He got a hole in one.
Whats you father's occupation?
Asked the school secretary, filling in the forms at the start of the academic year. "He's a magician," said the small boy. "How interesting! What's his favorite trick? "Sawing people in half." "Really? Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?' "Yes, one half brother and two half-sisters."
Little 8-year-old Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was doing, he asked: What are you doing there, Nancy?
My goldfish died, Nancy sobbed. And I've just buried him.
The obnoxious neighbour laughed and said condescendingly: That's a really big hole for a little goldfish, don't you think?
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth with her shovel and replied: That's because he's inside your cat.
Little Johnny
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it.
He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.
One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".
A policeman pulls over a guy for speeding
The officer walks up to him and says "look buddy, its 16:50 on a Friday night and I knock off in 10 mins. I really don't want to be filling in paperwork so tell you what? Give me a good excuse for speeding away from me, and I'll let you go. The man thinks for a second and says "my wife ran off with a cop last week. I was afraid you were trying to give her back "
"Have a nice weekend, sir!"
I believe pencils are superior to pens, especially for filling out crossword puzzles.
Does that make me erasist?
My friend likes to go around filling animals with Hellium.
I was going to tell him to stop, but then I thought to myself: "Hey, whatever floats your goat"
Humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
Although monkeys are more filling.
A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool
I don't know what they're filling the pool with, because he abruptly left when I offered him a glass of water
Little Johnny Catches his Dad and Step-Mom Having s**...
Dad: It's OK Little Johnny, I'm just filling your step-mom's tank..........
Little Johnny: Really? Well, you should trade her for a woman that gets better mileage. The Postman already filled her up this morning.
I was going to play a trick on my roommate by filling their room up to the ceiling with ropes, but I didn't have any ropes.
Now it's just a ropeless home antic.
It's bogus
That the potus has just showed us that his modus is to goad us like he's filling up his quotas cause he's on his two week notice
Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Johnny?"
"Well, my goldfish died," replied Johnny tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied... "That's because he's inside your cat!"
"I'm telling you one last time ", a doctor yells at his nurse
"When you're filling a death certificate, you put the name of illness under cause of death, not the name of the supervising physician!"
I went on a cruise once, and we were hit by a gigantic wave, and the boat sank.
I woke up on a sugar sand beach, with gigantic cotton candy clouds filling the sky, and the sea glistened under the setting sun like a pool of honey, next to me was a volleyball that looked like a marshmallow. Towering above me was a gigantic volcano that looked like an upside down ice cream cone.
It was then that my worst fears were realized, that I was trapped on a dessert Island.
Due to health concerns, my doctor recommend I go on a strict vegetarian diet, and practice portion control.
I am happy to announce that I am down to one vegetarian a day, as they are surprisingly filling.
I'm filling in for my friend today ...
His patients won't be happy when they learn that I never went to dental school.
A guy rushes into a bar out of breath and manages to excitedly utter to the bartender "Gimme 6 shots of whiskey quick"!
The bartender says "What's the hurry?" as he lays out the six shots. The guy starts downing the shots as fast as the bartender is filling them. As he is gulping down the last shot, he utters "Well you would drink fast too if you had what I have". The bartender says "well geez mister what do you have"? and the guy says "2 dollars".
An Estonian visits russia
He departs from Tallinn, the journey goes as planned until, 2 hours and a half in, he realizes he needs petrol otherwise he won't get to russia, so he stops at a gas station near narva, and decides to get a snack and go to the bathroom. So before filling up his car he gets off, walks to the gas station's shop's counter and asks for a sandwich, he eats it, and then goes to the bathroom, seeing all the doors closed, he knocks.
"Occupied"
"Again?!"
I'm filling in for my friend who got hung over from yesterday's drinking..
His patients wont be thrilled if they knew I never went to Dental College
