Filipino Jokes

What are some Filipino jokes?

What do you call a Filipino contortionist?

A manila folder!!!

What do you call two Filipino pilots?

A pair of pliers

Filipino, a Chinese, a Japanese and a bar

Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink. When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, Whoever can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can have me for tonight. So the Chinese guy says I love liver and cheese. She says That's not good enough The Japanese man says I hate liver and cheese She says That's not creative Finally, the Filipino says Liver alone, cheese mine!

What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor?

A Manila Folder.

A joke from my Filipino uncle...

It is common in the Philippines for families to live in one-bedroom homes.

One night a couple wanted to make love, and so they had their child look the window. As the couple made love, the child continued to look out the window without turning around.

When the couple was done, the father asked the child so, what did you see out the window?

The child replied the neighbors were making love too.

Confused, the father asked how could you tell?

The child answered their kid was looking at me from their window.

What do you call a hot Filipino?

A FilipiΓ±o.

A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ...

"You can't be seated without a Thai."

An Asian woman on a plane sees her Asian seat-mate reading a book on Asian Stereotypes.

A little offended, yet equally curious, she asks her seat-mate "What does the book say?"

Her seat mate says: "According to this book, Filipino women are beautiful, Japanese women are smart, and Vietnamese women are faithful".

Taken aback by the slightly chauvinistic and stereotypical nature of the book's assertions, the woman asks: "Are these based on facts?"

Her seatmate says: "Not exactly, but these haven't been disproved either." He then turns to the woman and asks, "What's your name, by any chance?"

The woman thinks for a bit, and says "Maria Nguyen-Suzuki"

I'm half filipino and half greek so what am I?

I'm a freek

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital:

One day, 4 babies were born at K.K. Hospital: a German, a Jewish, a Filipino and a Singaporean.

However, someone mixed up the babies by mistake, and the nurses couldn't differentiate between them.

However, the head sister had a bright idea. She lined the babies up in front of her and exclaimed, "Heil Hitler!"

At hearing this, the German baby raised his arm in a salute, while the Jewish baby soiled his diapers. In the meantime, the Singaporean baby turned to the Filipino baby and said, "Clean that up!"

Filipino Word of the Day: Chicken Nut Bread

Juan: My girlpren hab asthma so sometimes chicken nut bread..

What do you call a Filipino man who gets really nervous every time he plays poker?

A Manila folder

As a Filipino in 2017

Whenever I break a promise, I just say:

"Well, you voted for a man who promised to clean the government in three to six months! Get used to it."

How many Filipinos can you fit on a jeepney?

One more.

Why didn't the Filipino banana go to work today?

He wasn't peeling well.

Southeast Asia isn't known for their wine.

But I'll never say no to a Filipino Grigio

What's the difference between a fat chick and a Filipino drug dealer?

Eventually, the drug dealer gets taken out.

Why are Filipino people so clingy?

Because they always Tagalog.

What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops?

Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.

Just cracked a bottle of wine, and going to watch Phillippines TV...

Time for some Filipino noir.

A joke my Filipino friend told me

Tom and I had to get to the other side of town so we hopped on the bus and when he received his change from the driver he says "thank you kindly, Sir"




I asked him "why so formal?"






"Well my momma always taught me to refer to the bus driver as Sir otherwise it would be rude"







At the end of the day we started to head back. We took out our return tickets and hopped on the bus again. Tom stepped up to the driver, took off his hat and showed his ticket.





"Why'd you take your hat off?" The bus driver asked.




Tom replied "because my momma taught me to always take my hat off when talking to a lady, sir"

How to make Filipino jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Filipino to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Filipino? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Filipino pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes