Filipino Jokes
47 filipino jokes and hilarious filipino puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about filipino that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Filipino jokes that will surely make you laugh out loud. From jokes about Filipino culture to hilarious Philippine-themed puns, we've got you covered.
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Funniest Filipino Short Jokes
Short filipino jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The filipino humour may include short culture jokes also.
- A Filipino, a Korean, a Laotian, a Chinese, a Japanese and a Vietnamese go to a fancy restaurant. "Sorry" says the Maitre d' ... "You can't be seated without a Thai."
- Filipino Word of the Day: Chicken Nut Bread Juan: My girlpren hab asthma so sometimes chicken nut bread..
- I told my mate i was on my way to a Filipino lesson He said "Hey i've been wanting to learn a new language, can i tagalog?"
- What do you call a Filipino man who gets really nervous every time he plays poker? A Manila folder
- As a Filipino in 2017 Whenever I break a promise, I just say:
"Well, you voted for a man who promised to clean the government in three to six months! Get used to it." - Just cracked a bottle of wine, and going to watch Phillippines TV... Time for some Filipino noir.
- Lars, from Holland, and Maria, a Filipino, got married... ...and had three little Hollapiños
- What did the group of Filipino kids say to the loner kid? Hey, why don't you come and Tagalog with us?
- Use the words chicken, nut, and bread in one sentence. When my sister got pregnant, my Filipino mother told my dad to stop choking her because chicken nut bread.
- Why do tech-savvy Mexicans and Filipinos insist on using Firefox? They had a terrible experience with Internet *Explorers*.
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Filipino One Liners
Which filipino one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with filipino? I can suggest the ones about language and customs.
- What do you call two Filipino pilots? A pair of pliers
- What do you call a Filipino yoga instructor? A Manila Folder.
- What do you call a hot Filipino? A Filipiño.
- I'm half filipino and half greek so what am I? I'm a freek
- Why didn't the Filipino banana go to work today? He wasn't peeling well.
- What sound does a Filipino horse make when it gallops? Tagalog-tagalog-tagalog-tagalog.
- Southeast Asia isn't known for their wine. But I'll never say no to a Filipino Grigio
- What did the Filipino guy told the room service lady? Pack dis sheet im out.
- What do you call a gay Filipino? A tropical fruit
- What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a Filipino? Jalapinoy
- If someone from Holland married a Filipino... would their kids be called Hollapiños?
- I'm half Dutch and half Filipino... I'm a Jalapeño (Holla-Pino).
- What do you call a Filipino woman with an ectopic pregnancy Fallopian
- The Filipino diving team. The Filipino diving team.
- What are filipinos horror stories? Crispy Pata
Cheeky Filipino Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about filipino you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean values jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make filipino pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Filipino contortionist?
A manila folder!!!
A Filipino, a Chinese man, and a Japanese guy are in a bar having a drink.
When a gorgeous woman comes up to them and says, Whoever can use the words 'liver' and 'cheese' in a creative sentence can have me for tonight. So the Chinese guy says I love liver and cheese. She says That's not good enough The Japanese man says I hate liver and cheese She says That's not creative Finally, the Filipino says Liver alone, cheese mine!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.
My Asian eye doctor
Since I am half-Chinese and half-Filipino, and in recognition of AAPI month, I shall relate what happened visiting the eye doctor. I had been having trouble seeing while driving, so I went to my eye doctor, who happens to be Asian like me. He did the usual things, the eye charts, peering into my eyes, glaucoma test, etc. Finally, he sat back and said, "I know why you have trouble seeing while driving. You have a cataract."
"Bad guess, doc," I replied. "I have a Mercedes."
Let's try a joke I learned in the Philippines
A Filipino woman and her husband, an American, wake up the morning after their wedding and decide to take a shower together. In the middle of their fun, the water cuts out (as sometimes happens in the Philippines). The wife cries out, "Ay! Walang tubig!" ("Oh no! No water!" in Tagalog).
The husband replies, "Babe, you're wonderful, but if I'm being completely honest, it's not big, it's a little below average."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yo mama so s**...
She thinks a manila folder is a Filipino contortionist.
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Two Filipino kids go trick or treating on Halloween...
...At the first house they go up to, a lady answers the door.
She says, "oh how cute are you two? Let me guess what you are..."
To the first kid she says, "With your tiara and wand, you must be a princess?"
the first kid says, "Yes! I am a princess!"
The lady says to the second kid, "with your eye patch and your sword, you must be a pirate or a buccaneer?"
the second kid looks at her funny, grabs his ears and says, "I'm a pirate...and these are my buccaneers!"
A joke my Filipino friend told me
Tom and I had to get to the other side of town so we hopped on the bus and when he received his change from the driver he says "thank you kindly, Sir"
I asked him "why so formal?"
"Well my momma always taught me to refer to the bus driver as Sir otherwise it would be rude"
At the end of the day we started to head back. We took out our return tickets and hopped on the bus again. Tom stepped up to the driver, took off his hat and showed his ticket.
"Why'd you take your hat off?" The bus driver asked.
Tom replied "because my momma taught me to always take my hat off when talking to a lady, sir"
My Filipino flight attended was very mean to me
She said she hoped I have a peasant plight.
