Figure Jokes

• Short Figure Jokes
• Figure One Liners
• Action Figure Jokes
• Stick Figure Jokes
• Figure Of Speech Jokes
• Figure Skater Jokes
• Figure Skating Jokes
• More Figure Jokes

Funniest Figure Short Jokes

Short figure jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The figure humour may include short figurine jokes also.

1. I'm seriously thinking about re-marrying my ex-wife… But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
2. If you could have dinner with any historical figure, who would you choose? "Gandhi."
   Why him?
   "More food for me."
3. When I asked my daughter what she wanted for dinner, she said with a straight face, "uncooked boys." Ramen. Took me second, but I was much relieved when I figured it out.
4. My girlfriend has an onlyfans account and it's doing really well I just have to figure out how to break the news to her
5. Whoever coined the phrase dad bod missed a golden opportunity... Should've called it "the Father-figure"
6. Lots of guys aren't too happy with getting a "dad bod" eventually in life. But I'd say im pretty excited for it Because it's the closest thing I'm gonna get to having a father figure in my life
7. After making love to my wife last night, she told me I had a body built for sin 12 hours later, I still can't figure out if she meant Gluttony or Sloth
8. An IQ below 70 qualifies you for having an intellectual disability Now I just need to figure out if that's in Celcius or Fahrenheit
9. I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant?? Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.
10. I've figured out that the spread of Covid-19 over the past couple years has been due to two factors. 1. How dense the population is.
    2. How dense the population is.

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Figure One Liners

Which figure one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with figure? I can suggest the ones about plot and scene.

1. I once stayed up all night trying figure out where the sun went Then it dawned on me
2. They said that my dad was gay. Now I am trying to figure out which one.
3. What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? A waist of time.
4. I tried to re-marry my ex-wife. But she figured out I was only after my money.
5. I'm so excited to finally get a dad bod It's the first time I've ever had a father figure
6. Love is a lot like algebra... You look at your X and try to figure out Y.
7. I've figured out where all the dad jokes are stored. In a dad-a-base.
8. Guys, I just figured out how to walk thorough walls! Doors
9. Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good? It's all about the Execution
10. Who figured out that 7 ate 9? 4 and 6
11. I finally figured out why I look so bad in photos. It's my face.
12. Finally figured out why clickbait is so effective
13. Finally figured out the reason why l look so bad in pictures. It's my face.
14. For five years I simply couldn't figure out how to use a seatbelt. then it clicked.
15. Have you heard about the incel action figure? It comes in a sock instead of a box.

Action Figure Jokes

Here is a list of funny action figure jokes and even better action figure puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I asked the toy store sales assistant if they had any arnold schwarzenegger action figures in store... She replied "Aisle B, back".
• Last year I made seven figures. And that's why I got sacked from the action figure factory.
• So I've been trying to sell my Ubermensch Action Figures... But it's difficult to cater to such a Nietszche Market.
• I saw a Star wars action figure in a Corolla today It was a toy Yoda in a Toyota
• Which popular action figure has a farm? GI GI Joe
• Where are the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures? Aisle B, back
• I already used my wishes Me: please just one more wish
  Genie: no, I said 3
  Me: please
  Genie: no
  Me: [holding my new Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello action figures] Genie please
• My son was playing with miniature models of a court room. He told me they were "class action figures."
• Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true... Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
• A bunch of 80s action stars dressed up as Skid Row for Halloween but they couldn't figure out who would be the lead singer. But Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"

Stick Figure Jokes

Here is a list of funny stick figure jokes and even better stick figure puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I wanted to thank everyone for sticking with me while I figured out the meaning of many It means a lot
• If you want to learn how to draw superheroes start with Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy He's just a fancy stick figure
• Death When a family member unexpectedly dies, what's the proper waiting period before removing their stick figure from the back of the minivan?
• Why did the stick-figure man's arm keep hitting him in the face? Because it was the punch line.
• I finally figured out why your sister is not a ballet dancer... Because every time she does a split, she sticks to the floor.
• Did you hear about the stick figures who didn't understand each other? They were on different pages.
• One stick figure says to the other, just lay down, you'll be OK
• What is a stick figure's dress size? #2
• I figured out why Tim Cook loves dongles so much! It's because he likes long bendy things sticking out of beautiful skinny things!
• A stick figure walks into a bar, and takes five shots. He's dead.

Figure Of Speech Jokes

Here is a list of funny figure of speech jokes and even better figure of speech puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• "I don't understand what this statue of a man talking is supposed to mean" "It's confusing, but I think it's a figure of speech."
• What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech? Someone who takes everything literally
• What do you call a world renowned linguist? A figure of speech.
• How do you convey body language? With your figure of speech
• You know your girlfriend is dumb when you have to explain That "blow" is just a figure of speech.
• Teacher: "Today's class is about figures of speech" student(outside the class): "*may i come inside, ma'am*"
• A "Malaphor" is when you mix two figures of phrase or turns of speech
• "Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter.
  To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
• When Chuck Norris decides he wants to kill some time... it's not a figure of speech.
  He actually does it.
• s**..., honey, s**... - \- blow is just a figure of speech!

Figure Skater Jokes

Here is a list of funny figure skater jokes and even better figure skater puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why isn't the Russian army as strong as expected? Because they wasted all their steroids on figure skaters a month ago.
• What do you call a rich figure skater? A 7 figure skater
• What did the North Korean coach say to the figure skater before her competition? We expect great execution.
  What did the coach say after a poor performance?
  We expect great execution.
• What is the most difficult thing as a male figure skater Coming out to your parents.
• What can a homeless figure skater do to get by? Turn-tricks
• How could you tell that the figure skater was a mathematician? Because of the Fibonacci sequins.
• Ever heard about the rich ice skater ? He's got an 8 figure job !
• Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic. Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan t**....

Figure Skating Jokes

Here is a list of funny figure skating jokes and even better figure skating puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Did you see the ROC figure skating routine in the Olympics? It was dope
• My dad while watching Olympics figure skating: "Ya know what they call that move when they fall?" "...a triple klutz"
• What do you call a roller skate that can't figure out what to do? A skateboard
• What was the best part of the Pyeongchang Olympic figure skating? The Koreagraphy.

Cheerful Fun Figure Jokes for Lovely Laughter

What funny jokes about figure you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean faces jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make figure pranks.