Fighter Pilot Jokes
28 fighter pilot jokes and hilarious fighter pilot puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fighter pilot that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fighter Pilot Short Jokes
Short fighter pilot jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fighter pilot humour may include short fighter plane jokes also.
- What's the difference between a Taliban fighter and an Afghan child? Don't ask me, I just pilot the drone.
- When under stress, you have to choose between the fight or the flight response. Unless... you're a fighter pilot...then you can do both.
- What do Michael Jackson and a fighter pilot shooting down a balloon have in common? Both are King of Pop.
- The ace fighter pilot Robin olds and super man got into an arm restling competition. The loser had to wear underwear on the outside for the rest of their life.
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Fighter Pilot One Liners
Which fighter pilot one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fighter pilot? I can suggest the ones about aircraft pilot and pilot.
- What do you call Oriental pilots of the Galactic Empire? Thai Fighters.
- Why are Fighter Pilots so bad at golf? Too many bogeys.
- why couldn't the Japanese fighter pilots fight? because they had ZERO FIGHTER PLANES!!!!
- Why do fighter pilots who are pro-life tend to c**...? Because they won't abort.
Witty Fighter Pilot Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about fighter pilot you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean airplane pilot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fighter pilot pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine.
But if she shoots up a lot of h**..., she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johny the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."
Fighter jock and the cargo pilot
A cargo plane is flying along, doing its cargo plane thing, when a fighter jet comes up alongside.
The fighter jock decides to poke some fun at the pilot who's forced to fly such an ungainly vessel.
"My plane's so much more advanced than yours. Watch this" says the jock, as he proceeds to do loop-de-loops, barrel rolls, corkscrews, and all manner of fast paced aerial acrobatics.
"Very impressive," responds the cargo pilot. "But that's nothing, watch this." For a half hour the large craft simply plods along straight as an arrow, not even so much as dipping the wings.
After a while, the cargo pilot comes back on the radio and says "So, what'd you think?"
Jock: "What d'you mean? You didn't do anything. You just flew straight for a while."
Cargo: "Oh no, that wasn't all. I got up, stretched my legs, got some coffee, went to the bathroom..."
TIL Older forms of English kept Latin's gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix; tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
In the movie Top Gun, there are hot shot pilots pushing everything to the limit in sophisticated fighter jets.
Statistically they were GOING to lose a pilot, but even Death didn't know which one to take so he just walked around the room like "Duck, duck..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think the Tuskegee Airmen were incredibly brave...
...not only were they fighter pilots, they all had s**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandfather shot down 20 German b**... in the war.
Poor Friedrich, he was never cut out to be a fighter pilot.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day Junior brings his Grandfather to school to share his stories as a Franco-American fighter pilot during WW2
His stories are wonderfully delightful and told with a thick French accent, while gesturing wildly using his hands to describe the movement of the airplanes.
Zee fawkers fly like zees. Zen I fly like zees. Then zee fawkers fly back like zees, zen I pull up like zees. I shoots zee fawkers right out of the sky.
The teacher said, I'm sorry to interrupt, sir. I know you kids are giggling but I want to be clear that a Fokker is a type of aircraft.
The Ace said, certainmont, cherie. But zees fawkers were flying Mescherschmits.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A yooper WW2 Fighter Pilot visited a school to talk about his service
"In 19 and 42, da situation was really tough. The Germans, dey had a very strong Air Force. I remember dis one day I was protectin' da b**... and suddenly, from outta da clouds, dese fokkers appeared."
*At this point, several of the children giggle*
"I looked up, and right above me was one of da fokkers. I aimed at him and shot dat fokker down. Da fokkers was everywhere, dere was anoder fokker right behind me."
The teacher stands up and says, "I think I should point out that 'Fokker' was the name of a German-Dutch aircraft company"
"Ya... ya... dat's true!" says the old pilot, "but dese fokkers was flyin' Messerschmidts."
The kids at middle school are studying WWII...
... and little Timmys grandpa, who was a fighter pilot in the war, is invited to class to tell about his experiences. He reminisces:
"Now, the worst situation I was ever in, was probably when I encountered a German air wing all by myself. I had one Fokker above me, one Fokker behind me and one Fokker off to my right, so I..."
The class begins to snicker uncontrollably so teacher steps in.
"Now, class, before you start getting ideas, Fokker was the name of a German aeroplane manufacturer. Isn't that right, sir?"
"Yes, Ma'am!... these particular Fokkers were flying Messerschmidts, though..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A fighter pilot was shot down over France during WWII...
A fighter pilot is shot down over France during WWII and is captured by the Germans. He's injured, so they have to amputate his leg.
"Hey, next time you guys are b**... England, can you drop it over my base?"
So they do it. The next week they have to cut off his other leg, and he makes the same request. The *next* week they have to cut off his arm, but this time he's denied.
"Nein! Zis ve cannot do anymore!"
"Why not?"
"Because ve zink you are trying to escape!"
WWII fighter pilot speaks to the class...
When I was in sixth grade, on Veterans' Day, they had an old RAF fighter pilot from WWII come in to speak to the class. He was a sweet little old man with white hair and it was hard to imagine him flying a fighter plane and shooting down enemy aircraft. But when he started to tell his stories his eyes lit up and he became animated, swooping his hand gracefully through the air to simulate the various paths his plane took.
Speaking with a slight Cockney accent he explained, Then I seen this fokker comin' right at me from one o'clock, so I dives and turns right and comes up right behind him. I fired my guns and blew that fokker right out of the air! Then I sees two more of them fokkers comin' up from below, at seven o'clock, so's I….
Just then, the teacher, Mrs. Johnson, interrupts with, I think we should explain to the sixth graders that Fokker was a type of German aircraft.
Oh no Miss. They waz flyin' Messerschmitts.
Jacque LaRock...Famous French Fighter Pilot
(This joke is typically done in a French accent)
A famous French fighter pilot walks into a bar and orders a glass red and white wine. He sees a beautiful woman, walks up to her, kisses her on the lips and then takes a sip of his red wine. I am Jacque LaRock, famous French fighter pilot! If I taste ze red meat, I must have ze red wine. Ze woman blushes, Oh Jacque!
He takes her to ze backroom. Things start to progress a little further, he starts to kiss her on ze breast and takes a sip of his white wine, saying I am Jacque LaRock, famous French fighter pilot! If I taste ze white meat, I must have ze white wine. Ze woman blushes again, Oh Jacque!
Things start to progress even further, he lifts up her skirt, goes under white grabbing a bottle of 151 and a lighter... At this point ze woman stops him and says, Oh Jacque, I understand ze red meat with ze red wine, and ze white meat with ze white wine, but I don't understand ze 151 and ze lighter? Jacque stops and looks at her very stern… I am Jacque LaRock… famous French fighter pilot! If I go down, I go down in flames!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
From Memphis Belle
A British fighter pilot was shot down over German occupied airspace and was captured by the n**... on the ground. He was beaten up pretty bad in the dogfight and parachute landing, and they had to amputate his leg, so he begged them "Please, if you have to take my leg, can you drop it over my base the next time you send a b**... mission?"
The n**... figured there was no harm in it and the leg was dropped in the next raid.
A week later, his other leg succumbed to his injuries and had to be amputated, and again, he asked his captors to drop in over the base on the next raid, and again they obliged.
The next week his arm succumbed to injuries and it was amputated. Again, he asked the German guards to have it dropped over his base on the next raid. The German barked at him "Nein!"
The pilot asked, "Why not? You've done it before!"
"We think you are trying to escape!"
A fighter pilot is shot down over Germany in World War II...
He wakes up in a German POW hospital. A German officer is standing over his bed as he comes-to.
"I'm verry sorry to inform you, but vee haff had to amputate your left leg," says the officer.
"Oh no," cries the pilot, "lost a limb? This is terrible news. Crutches for the rest of my life and all that. Listen, could you boys do me a favor? Could you drop my leg over my base, so it can receive an American burial?"
The German confers with his peers and answers, "Ziss vee can do."
A week later, the American awakens to find the officer standing over him again.
"Unfortunately, zee infection has spread, and vee must take your uzza leg."
"No! Crikey! I'll have to get a little cart, and sell pencils in front of the library. Listen; can you boys drop my leg over my base, so it can receive an American burial?"
Again, the German speaks to his fellows. "Ziss vee can do."
After another week, the American wakes to the German again.
"Vee are very sorry, but zee infection has spread to your right arm. Vee must take zat one as vell."
"Oh, cruel gods! No, no! Listen, can you boys do me a favor? Can you drop..."
"ZISS VEE CANNOT DO!!" the German interrupts.
"...but...why not?" asks the American.
"Vee sink you're trying to escape..."
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class
Old fighter pilot goes to his great-grandchild's 7th grade class to talk about his experiences. He tells the class, "I remember one time, me and my squadron was comin' back from escortin' some B-17 and we're almost over the Channel, when one a dem Fokkers come out of a cloud..." A few kids chuckle at this but the old guy keeps going. "Me and my wingman took care of him right quick, but then two more Fokkers show up..." There's more laughter and the teacher's starting to look annoyed; the pilot doesn't care: "...and it's a real dog-fight, all of us shootin' every which way and we got 'em just about handled when outa nowhere four more Fokkers..."
The class just bursts into laughter and the teacher interrupts. "Now, children. I know you're all enjoying your little jokes, but you should know that many of the German fighter planes were produced by confiscated factories belonging to the Dutch aeronautics firm Fokker."
The pilot is nodding along to all this. "That true, ma'am, but the day I'm talking about, those Fokkers were Messerschmitts."