Fifty Thousand Jokes
8 fifty thousand jokes and hilarious fifty thousand puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fifty thousand that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Fifty Thousand Jokes With Friends
Howlingly Hilarious Fifty Thousand Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What is a good fifty thousand joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
"Am I mentioned in the will?" the nephew asked anxiously.
"You certainly are" , replied the lawyer.
Right here in the third paragraph your uncle says:
To my niece Sarah I bequeath a hundred thousand dollars,
to my cousin Janice fifty thousand dollars,
and to my nephew Charles, who was always curious to know if he was mentioned in my will, I say "Hi, Charles"
Three racehorses were standing in a field.
One says, you know, I've won ten races in my life.
And I've won twenty races! Brags the second horse.
The third horse is much older then them both. He says, That's nothing! I've won fifty races!
Suddenly they all hear laughing, and they turn their heads to see a greyhound trotting through the field.
Amateurs! The dog laughs. I've been in a thousand races, and I've won all of them!
The horses are all shocked. As the dog strolls past them, they stare in silence. Then the old horse says, Holy s**...! a talking dog!
Interviewer: You said you are quick in mathematics, could you tell me what is a two hundred and fifty times eighty whole divided by sixty nine?
Man: Six thousand eight hundred and fourty five.
Interviewer: Hm... that's not the right answer...
Man: But i'm quick.
What do fifty thousand abused blonde women all have in common?
They just don't listen.
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees.
"
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
New Lawyer
After successfully passing the bar exam, a man opened his own law office. He was sitting idle at his desk when his secretary announced that a Mr. Jones had arrived to see him. "Show him right in!" our lawyer replied. As Mr. Jones was being ushered in our lawyer had an idea. He quickly picks up the phone and shouts into it " ...and you tell them that we won't accept less then fifty thousand dollars, and don't even call me until you agree to that amount!" Slamming the phone down he stood up and greeted Mr. Jones; "Good Morning, Mr. Jones, what can I do for you?"
"I'm from the phone company," Mr. Jones replied, "I'm here to connect your phone."
A lady went to an auction...
And was smitten by a beautiful parrot for sale and decided that she must own this gorgeous bird! When the bird came up for sale, the auctioneer asked, "How much am I bid for this parrot?" and the lady bid with "Seven hundred dollars". "Eight hundred!" "Eighty hundred fifty!" "Nine hundred fifty!" go the next several bids, and the lady bid "One thousand dollars!" Bidding goes on this way for several minutes until she found herself the proud owner of an parrot for $1500.
She approached the auctioneer and asked him "Can the bird talk?" to which the auctioneer replied "Lady, who do you think was bidding against you?"
A man comes home...
To find his wife sitting seductively on the couch in s**... l**.... She looks at him coyly and asks, "Have you ever seen a dollar all crumpled up?"
The man replies, "No..."
His wife reaches near her breast and pulls out a crumpled up $1 bill. She then asks him, "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"
"Not that I'm aware of." Says the man with a puzzled look on his face.
His wife pulls a $50 bill out of her garter, crumples it up, and throws it at his feet.
She then asks him, "Have you ever seen *fifty thousand dollars* all crumpled up?
"I'm certain that's something I've never seen." Her husband says with confidence.
His wife says, "Go look in the garage, I wrecked the car"
Share These Fifty Thousand Jokes With Friends