Fifty Days Jokes
19 fifty days jokes and hilarious fifty days puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fifty days that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fifty Days Short Jokes
Short fifty days jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fifty days humour may include short fifty jokes also.
- What would a prisoner say to you if you left them on an island for fifty years? G'day mate!
- "You don't look a day over fifty!" I told the mother-in-law on her birthday. Slightly ruined her 38th.
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Fifty Days One Liners
Which fifty days one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fifty days? I can suggest the ones about fifty years old and 365 days.
- Coming on valentines day. Fifty shades of grey. There won't be a dry seat in the cinema.
- I want to write a s**... charged novel with an FBI twist. *Fifty Raids A Day*
- What do you call a k**... australian romance novel? Fifty shades of G'Day
Charming Humor Fifty Days Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about fifty days you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean turning fifty jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fifty days pranks.
Sheep
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
It's the first day for a fraternity...
It's the first day for a fraternity, and the dean is explaining the rules to the new pledges. He sternly advises them, And I must warn you of the curfew for this semester. If I catch any of you in the women's dorms past eight o'clock at night, it's fifty dollars for the first time, a hundred dollars for the second time, and five hundred dollars for the third time.
One pledge raises his hand and asks, How much for a season pass?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bodybuilder sees a group of beautiful women flocking around a skinny guy at the gym one day...
The bodybuilder is baffled. He asks his friend: "What the h**... do they see in that wimp?"
"I hear he can bench press a hundred pounds," says the friend.
"A hundred pounds?!?" The bodybuilder snorts. "h**..., I can bench press over three hundred and fifty!!"
The friend raises an eyebrow. "With your tongue?"
You're in the Army Now
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a South Alabama man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Mothballs
A small town guy comes into a pharmacy and asks the guy at the counter:
"What do you have to get rid of the darn moths?"
The pharmacist sells him a pack of mothballs.
A day later he comes in and asks for fifty packs.
"Why do you need so many?" asks the pharmacist
-"Your mothballs are great, but them darn moths are so hard to hit"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I have a joke about commitment
Steve was deeply committed to playing golf. Ever day, seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year. After several years went by, Steve was still playing golf. As he was about to putt the ball in the hole. He notice a f**... procession going by. He then took off his hat and gave a moment of silence for the procession.
His friend that he was golfing with was amazed at him and said, "Wow that was really respectful"
"Well I should be respectful", Steve replied. "I was married to her for over thirty years."
My wife said the TPMS light came on today.
Her: I just stood at the 7-Eleven because I remembered they had an air pump.
Me: Did you have enough quarters? Isn't it like a dollar or buck'fifty?
Her: It was two dollars!
Me: well, that's inflation for you!
(True Story! And a great cake day gift!)
One day a brunette walked into a bar filled with blondes. Everyone was chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Then two more blondes walked in and joined in chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Confused, the brunette asked blonde bartender, "Why is everyone chanting 'Fifty-one days'?" The bartender answered, "Our bar patrons over there finished a puzzle in only fifty-one days, even though the box said 'two to four years'!"
Patient: "How much do you charge for extracting a tooth?"
Doctor: "Fifty rupees."
Patient: "Fifty ruppes, for only a few second’s work?"
Doctor: "Well, I will do it very slowly."
Patient: "How much is for the operation?"
Doctor: "Rupees on thousand."
Patient: "But it was a serious one."
Doctor: "Nonsense. You can’t buy a serious operation for Rupees one Thousand now-a days."
Back in the pioneer days...
A couple traveling west saw an old Native American man with his ear pressed to the ground, unmoving. As they approached, the man's eyes slowly opened and he said:
"Large wagon train. Fifty wagons. Lead cart has team of five horses. Half wagons covered, half not. Cart in middle have chip in wheel. Last wagon have team of three. One brown, one black, one tan. Tan horse have cropped tail."
The pioneers, shocked, said, "That's amazing! You can hear all that just by putting your ear to the ground?"
The old brave replied, "No. Ran over me half hour ago..."
A rich Arab student e-mails his dad...
A rich Arab student e-mails his dad and says:
Dear Father,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Rolls Royce Phantom when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Hassan.
A day later his father replies:
Dear Hassan,
Fifty million euros have been transferred to your account, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train too.
Love you, Dad.
