fifa Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fifa puns

Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers?

The FIFA headquarters.

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A man takes his seat at a FIFA World Cup Final

He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat betwen himself & the next guy.

MAN: "who would ever miss the FIFA world cup final?"

GUY: "that was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."

MAN: "oh... that's terrible, and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat .. ..but these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"

GUY: "No...they are all currently at her funeral!"



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FIFA FEVER

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A World Cup joke.

A man takes his seat at the FIFA World Cup final.

He looks to his left and notices that there is an empty seat between himself and the next guy.

Man:"Who would ever miss the World cup final?"

Guy:"That was my wife's seat. We've been to the last five World Cup finals together. But sadly she passed away."

Man:"I'm so sorry..and it's very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?"

Guy:"No... they're all at her funeral."

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Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.

It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.

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FIFA World Cup 2018

A frenchman alks down the street, where he bumps into an Englishman

The Frenchman asks: How are you, what are you up to?"

Englishman: " Ah, nothing much, playing the Croatians in the World Cup tomorrow!"

Frenchman: "What a coincidence...?! We're playing them on Sunday!"

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What's the difference between the Tham Luang cave boys and the FIFA World Cup?

The boys are coming home.

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What Should You Do After Ireland Wins The World Cup

Turn off Fifa and go to bed

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Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal:

Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee:

"FIFA has an Ethics Committee"

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*Canada's first Professional Soccer team has made it to FIFA*

That's to bad eh, they're parents could'nt afford hockey equipment growing up.

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Nike's thought when considering whether or not to participate in the FIFA bribe scandal...

Just do it

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How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?

**None**. They operate in the **dark**.

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FIFA Ethics Committee

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Why did FIFA have surgery?

They had to remove their Blatter.

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EA have announced that FIFA 19 will have a Battle Royale mode

They will be introducing the $50 'Sergio Ramos' pack with release, which will allow players to break the rules without punishment to win games.





^^^^FUCK ^^^^RAMOS

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FIFA just got caught taking bribes for the 2010 World Cup.

What a kick in the balls.

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True Love

Guy: "who'd ever miss the FIFA world cup final?"

Man: "That was my wife's seat, we have been to the last five World cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."

Guy: "Oh.... That's terrible and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat..
But, these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought another family member or friend with you?"

Man: " No .....
They all are at her funeral! "

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What do a Professional Fifa Player and a Rapist have in common?

They're both going to score, even if you don't want them to.

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New features in FIFA 19

There is a chance that a game is delayed by 15 minutes due to hooligans with flares in the stadium.

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Why do creationists prefer FIFA to PES?

Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.

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Son: Dad, why is my sister's name Rose?

Me: Because your mom loves roses.

Son: What about me?

Me: It's a long story, FIFA World Cupβ„’ Russia 2018.

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Reforming FIFA analogy-1

Reforming FIFA by Sep Blatter is like reforming Tax for wealthy people by Donald Trump

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The CEO of FIFA and The NCAA walk into a bar....

They glance around the bar and notice people really enjoy drinking, so they buy the bar.
The CEO of FIFA decides to build onto the bar using cheap laborers, many of which will die.
The CEO of The NCAA decides to bring in business by having his employees play continuous beer pong tournaments, many of which will have brain damage later in life.
The bar then makes each CEO over 1 billion dollars.
One day Jesus walks into the bar and orders a Bloody Mary.
Just as the bartender makes the drink the two CEOS walk into the bar and say to Jesus "Im sorry sir, we cant serve you. We are a non-prophet organization."

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I went out and bought FIFA the other day.

It's great being the Emir of Qatar.

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β€ͺWhat's the difference between The Oscars and The FIFA World Cup?‬

A flop doesn't win an award at The Oscars.

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I think Adam Johnson should remain on FIFA 16

Because it means that kids will get to play with him for once

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The Fifa president, Secretary General, and communications director are in a car. Who is driving?

The Police.

This joke got their PR chief fired today.

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Like Mexico winning a FIFA World Cup game against Germany...

No body expected the Spanish inquisition

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Today's FIFA match will be played by Austria and Hungary

Me: Against whom?

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The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday

sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes

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Why did Putin gift a FIFA world cup ball to Trump in Helsinki?

Because he didn't want to look like a dick after seeing how much Trump likes to cup them.

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While on the beanstalk, what did the giant say when watching the World Cup?

FIFA - fo - fum

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BREAKING NEWS: South Korea have won the Asian Games...

Meaning Son Heung-min will officially be included in FIFA 19 instead of Battlefield 5.

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Germany's loss in the fifa world cup doesn't come as a surprise

They've always had a hard time winning on russian soil

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Loving Husband!

A man takes his seat at a FIFA World Cup Final.
He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat betwen himself & the next guy.
MAN: Who would ever miss the FIFA world cup final?
GUY: That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.
MAN: Oh… that's terrible, and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought another family member, friend or someone else with you?
GUY: No…they are all currently at her funeral!

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The new FIFA videogame will come in the following difficulties: World Class, Professional, Semi Pro, Amateur...

and Brazil.

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What are the most funny Fifa jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fifa? Well, here are the best Fifa dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fifa pick up lines to share with friends.

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