Field Jokes
166 field jokes and hilarious field puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about field that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores jokes that make light of the various "fields" in our world. From track and field to medical fields, oil fields to corn fields, we provide a fun selection of jokes that will make you chuckle. Other topics including a left field, cotton field, magnetic field, Wrigley Field, and a farm meadow with daisies are all discussed in this article.
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Funniest Field Short Jokes
Short field jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The field humour may include short area jokes also.
- I told my daughter, Go to bed, the cows are sleeping in the field. Puzzled, she asked, What's that got to do with anything? I chuckled, "Well, that means..." "It's pasture bedtime!
- I'm thinking of a career where I estimate crowd sizes at different outdoor events. I wonder how many people are in that field.
- Why did the farmer run a steamroller over his potato field on Thanksgiving Day? He wanted to raise mashed potatoes.
- An unemployed engineer opens a clinic... He soon goes out of business, since the field is over saturated due to all the unemployed engineers opening clinics recently.
- A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around? Yeah, the other cow says. Makes me glad I'm a penguin.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
The job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in his jeans. - They said "Find something you love to do and you will never work a day in your life" They are darn right,
that field isn't hiring! - Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up." Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."
- I tried to take some High Res pictures of my farmland and fields. They still came out pretty grainy.
- BREAKING: Police are trying to rescue a cow lost in a cannabis field. The steaks have never been higher.
Share These Field Jokes With Friends
Field One Liners
Which field one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with field? I can suggest the ones about firm and facility.
- Why did the cow get an award? For being outstanding in his field.
Sorry. - Just finished building doors for my fish. I'm highly skilled in the field of carp-entry.
- How did the Muslim find the goat in the field? Very Satisfying.
- If you notice cows sleeping in a field... does that mean it's pasture bedtime? :)
- How can you identify a good farmer? He's out standing in his field.
- What do you call a scarecrow who's really good at his job? Outstanding in his field.
- Did you hear about the magic tractor? It went down the road and turned into a field.
- A degree in agriculture is great to have. It allows you to work in a variety of fields.
- Why did the spring onion win an award? Because it was outstanding in its field!
- People say Cows are Dumb But I've never seen one that wasn't out standing in its field.
- Don't walk through a field of mushrooms It's quite a tripping hazard.
- Why don't farmers go to school? Because they're outstanding in their fields.
- What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner.
- The scarecrow won employee of the month again... He's outstanding in his field.
- I took a picture of a wheat field today... It came out pretty grainy.
Field Trip Jokes
Here is a list of funny field trip jokes and even better field trip puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When Amish kids go on a field trip… do they just go to a different field?
- My class has a field trip to the Coca-Cola factory All the other kids are excited, but I am just praying that there's no pop quiz.
- Today in elementary school. Teacher: Next week, we have a field trip to travel to Uranus.
Kid: Myanus?
Teacher: No... You're traveling to timeout for field trip. - If you take acid at a track meet... is it a field trip?
- Why did the spaghetti miss the field trip? It lost its parmesan slip.
- Why did the general get arrested during a field trip to his military base? He was exposing his privates to children.
- How do you call an iteration over an array? A field trip.
- What did the math teacher say to the student on the field trip? You're on the Rhombus.
- My wife and I saw the local community college bus at Walmart yesterday and she said look, they are having a field trip. I said nah, they are having a career fair.
- Why did the black football player go to jail? He was on a high school field trip.
Corn Field Jokes
Here is a list of funny corn field jokes and even better corn field puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A cob of corn finishes his service in the army and retires as a Colonel in good standing among his field
- A corn farmer asked his field "are you listening?" To which the field responded "I'm all ears"
- Did you hear about the lieutenant that had to watch a corn field? He's a colonel now
- What do you call a corn farmer who wakes up one morning to find that complex branching pathways have been cut into his field? amaized.
- I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize.
- Did you hear about the Russian plane that had to land in the middle of a corn crop? Don't worry, that pilot is the best in the field.
- Hey girl, do you live in a corn field? Because I'm stalking you.
- You know why corn fields are the best to tell dad jokes to? Cause they're all ears.
- The corn industry has been doing well these past few years. It's a growing field.
- Wanna know what's really corny? A field of corn.
Field Corn Jokes
Here is a list of funny field corn jokes and even better field corn puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you know some farmers employ horses to watch over their fields? Its hay per view corn.
- Why was the corn farmer paranoid? Because the field has ears.
- I find that corn fields are the best places to vent your frustrations... ...because they're all ears.
- Why did the corn maze go back to school? It was tired of working in a dead end field.
- Two corny jokes Why did the farmer standing in the field call 911?
He thought he was being stalked.
Why did the corn go to the doctor?
It had an ear infection. - What did the unicorn say to the other unicorn? We have been out here in the fields for so long that I can't believe we made it to university corn!
- I've decided I really dont like driving through corn fields at night They're very eerie.
- I saw a guy cut a curvy path through a corn field... It was a-ma(i)zing.
Left Field Jokes
Here is a list of funny left field jokes and even better left field puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I left my illustrious football career behind to become a relatively successful farmer. Field goals
- I was playing baseball with my friend Tandra and she was pitching. I hit the ball straight into left field and made it to second base. That's a double on Tandra.
- Before the shooting the worst problem at the congressional baseball game was... Republicans don't want to play left field.
Democrats don't want to play right.
Nobody wants to play center. - My girlfriend said I could not differentiate between left and right It totally came out of right field.
- Two cows are standing in an open field One cow says to the other cow: "it's cold in here".
The other cow replies: "yeah.. the farmer left the gate open". - I managed to get hit by a baseball even though there was no field in sight It really came out of left field
- Where does a ghost of ballpark pop out? Out of left field
- It might be… it could be… it is the reason why everything has been coming out of left field in 2016.
Track And Field Jokes
Here is a list of funny track and field jokes and even better track and field puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've met a track and field athlete that commonly chokes whenever he runs too fast, It became a running gag for him.
- Enemies of Russia enjoy which track and field sport the most? Shot Putin.
- My essay question is: "The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can." "Discus."
- Track and field is perfect for introverts. The goal is the be there the shortest time possible.
- Three men go into a bar... but the fourth guy cleared it. Looks like he's taking home the gold medal!
I love a good track & field competition. - How is a track and field athlete like an American soldier? They're both good at using javelins.
- What are the most athletic rodents?
Track and field mice. - Ever since I was young, I always used to run away from my problems It was no surprise when I got accepted to my college's track and field sports team
- How do track and field athletes stay buff? Lapping compound
- Why aren't there any Politically Correct Track and Field athletes They don't see race
Silly Field Jokes for a Good Time with Friends
What funny jokes about field you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean land jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make field pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a v**...."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?"
"Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!"
"Good," said the new husband, "but, why?"
"You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get s**...."
A DEA agent and a rancher
A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs."
The rancher said, "Okay , but don't go in that field over there.....", as he pointed out the location.
The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"
Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher.
"See this badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land!! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?!!"
The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher's big Santa Gertrudis bull.
With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified.
The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs.....
"Your badge, show him your BADGE.........!!"
Two Snowmen are in a field...
...and one turns to the other and says "Yeah, you're right, it DOES smell like carrots."
My favorite joke - short, hysterical, and perfect for any occasion.
Have you guys heard about the scarecrow...
Have you guys heard about the scarecrow that got a nobel prize for being outstanding in his field?
Two rabbits are eating carrots
...from farmer Brown's field. One turns to the other and says, "This carrot is pithy." The other rabbit says, "I guess so. I just pithed on it."
My dad's favourite joke - Harry the vampire bat
So one day Harry the vampire bat gets back to his cave, with his entire face absolutely covered with blood. All the other bats are incredulous, demanding where Harry found all the blood. Harry agrees to show them. So they all follow Harry out of the cave, over the river, and through some fields, until they get to a field with a single tree in the middle of it. All the bats are impatient, saying 'Harry is the blood here? Where is it, man? Harry replied 'You see that tree there? I didn't.'
Have you heard about the record-setting farmer...?
He's outstanding in his field
man in a hot air balloon
A man flying in a hot air balloon realizes he's lost. He lowers the balloon, spots a man down below and shouts, "Can you help me? I promised a friend I'd meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."
The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon hovering 30 feet above this field, which is at 42 degrees N. latitude and 60 degrees W. longitude."
"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist.
"I am," replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct but your information is useless and the fact is I am still lost."
The man below says, "You must be a manager"
"I am," replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," says the man below, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep and you expect me to solve your problem. And the fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met but now it's somehow my fault."
The engineer and the mathematician
A mathematician and an engineer are at a bar when the most beautiful woman either of them has ever seen approaches them.
She takes them to a football field and tells them, "I'm going to stand on the far goal line, and you'll stand on this one. Whichever of you reaches me first can do whatever you want to me."
"There are two rules, however. Your first move can only be to the fifty yard line, and each move following can only be half the distance of the previous."
The woman walks to the far side to the far goal line, and the race begins.
The mathematician, upon seeing her reach the goal line, breaks down in tears, because he knows that he can never make it to the far goal.
The engineer takes off immediately. He knows he can never reach her, but he can certainly get close enough for all practical purposes.
A Jets fan walks into a bar with his dog.
The bartender says, "Hey bud, no pets allowed in here."
The man says, "But wait! This is a special dog, you have to turn on the game to see. When the Jets score, my dog does flips!"
Sure enough, when the bartender turns on the game, the Jets make a few field goals and the dog starts flipping and jumping after each kick.
"Wow," said the bartender, amazed, "that's great! What does he do when they score a touchdown?"
"I don't know, I've only had him for two years."
Gatorades competition.
Upon the inception of Gatorade at the University of Florida, and the strides the teams were making on the field, Florida State University *also* tried to make their own energy drink for student athletes.
Unfortunately no one wanted to drink the "*Seminole Fluid*"...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite blonde joke.
A blonde was tired of all the a**... she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.
A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the a**... anymore."
The man, confused, said, "Why are you hanging by your feet? Aren't you supposed to tie the rope around your neck."
She said, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Cop Jokes?
I need some really good cop jokes for a cop buddy of mine who is retiring, he asked for us to bring him the best so I turned to you guys. Have a field day!
Larry at the police station
Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "
What makes the scarecrow so good at his job?
He's outstanding in his field
An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
Never take a cows job for granted:
It's outstanding in its field.
So a kid is standing in the middle of a field with a baseball and a bat...
He tosses the ball up to hit it. He swings, misses, and yells "Strike ONE!"
Tosses it up a second time. Swings. Misses. "Strike TWO!"
On the third time he tosses it up, he swings, and yet again, misses. "Strike THREE!"
"Wow," he said. "I didn't know I was such a good pitcher!"
A man owned a small farm
A man owned a small farm near Maddock. The North Dakota Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my field hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week, plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I go into town and buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer sadly.
A rich man and a horse
There was a rich man that was driving past a farm, He looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. The rich man thought, Wow I gotta have him so he pulled into the farm's entrance. He found the owner and said, "I want that horse out yonder in that field, how much do you want for him?" Well, the farmer said, "He don't look to good." Nonsense said the rich man "I'll pay you $1000 for him." But he don't look to good said the farmer. The rich man sighed and said $2000 dollars is my final offer. The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. Then one week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said, "Darn you you sold me a blind horse!" Then the farmer smiled and said "I told you, he didn't look too good!"
There was a farmer who grew watermelons...
He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his water melon patch at night and eat his watermelons. After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next day, the kids show up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide." The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's sign. When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons are missing, but the sign next to his read, "Now there are two!!!"
Pavlov's birds
An MIT student spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field. At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football team, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for a half hour to wait for the birds to get off of the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm going to major in m**... when I go to college...
I hear it's a growing field.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two blondes were driving along in a car...
...when they came across an open field with another blond sitting in a canoe and pretending to row it.
One blonde in the car says to the other, "See, it's things like this that gives blonde a bad reputation, if I could swim, I would go out there and bash her".
A guy is lying on a field. There's a backpack lying on his back, and a lot of flies are flying around. What's in the backpack?
A parachute.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the cows come back to the m**... field?
The p**... was calling the cattle back
A man asks a farmer near a field,
A man asks a farmer near a field, Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.
The farmer says, Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one.
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon...
A drill sergeant is instructing a platoon.
He is walking up and down the line of men, complementing, or insulting the men on their work in the field that day.
Finally, he reaches a private at the end of the line.
In a gruff voice, he yells "PRIVATE, I DIDN'T SEE YOU AT CAMOUFLAGE TRAINING TODAY."
Without being able to finish his sentence, the private interrupts his superior saying, "THANK YOU, SIR."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"
The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"
The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"
The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little f**...!'"
A local farmer just received an award from the city.
It was for being outstanding in his field.
They say choose a major you love and you'll never work a day in your life...
because that field probably isn't hiring.
I walked past a field of cows at 3 AM and saw that they were all wide awake.
I said, "Surely it's pasture bedtime?"
A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog
The bartender says, "No pets allowed." The man replies, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Browns game and you'll see. Whenever the Browns score, my dog does flips." The Browns keep scoring field goals, and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. "Wow! What happens when the Browns score a touchdown?"
The man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years."
There are two cows standing in a field....
The first cow says to the other, I was artificially inseminated this morning. The second cow replies, No way, I don't believe you. The first says, It's true, no bull.
Two zebras are standing in a field.
Zebra 1 asks "Hey, do you think I'm white with black stripes or black with white stripes?"
Zebra 2 responds "I don't know, why don't you go ask god?"
So, zebra 1 goes to god and asks him if he's white with black stripes or black with white stripes, to which god responds,
"You are what you are."
Later, zebra 1 returns to the field and zebra 2 asks, "So, what are you?"
Zebra 1 says, "I'm white with black stripes."
Zebra 2, looking confused, asks, "How do you know?"
Finally, zebra 1 says, "Because if I was black with white stripes, god would have said, "You is what you is.""
A man and his wife were driving down a country road...
A man and his wife were driving down a country road.
They had previously been fighting with each other so they weren't talking at all.
They continued driving until they passed a field full of cows when the wife said, "Family of yours?"
"Yes" replied the husband, "In-laws."
Study what you love and you'll never work a day in your life.
Because nobody is hiring in your field.
Two cows are eating grass in a field
The first turns to the second and says "Moooooo"
The second turns to the first and says "I was just about to say that"
Two electric windmills are standing in a field.
One turns to the other and asks "What kind of music do you like?" The second one replies "I'm a huge metal fan".
I passed by the prison today and they were playing soccer on the field
I shouted "Pass the ball, I'm free!!"
Two windmills are in a field.
One turns to the other and asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
"I'm a big metal fan" the other one replies.
I'm going to buy a field. Then I'm going to go and stand in it.
While I'm there, I'm going to ring my boss and tell him I deserve a pay rise because I'm out standing in my field.
2 cows were standing in a field
One cow asks the other "Arent you afraid of getting Mad Cow Disease?"
And the other cow replies "Why should I? Im a helicopter"
I've decided on my college major!
Agriculture. I've heard it's a very large field.
There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast.
On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says " You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"
As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field.
But hay, it's in my jeans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went cow tipping in a m**... field
The steaks were high
So a farmer went out into his field and counted 48 cows
But When His dog rounded them up there were 50.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friends a farmer with a huge ego problem
All I did was ask where he was and he brags that he's out standing in his field
I'm jealous of agriculture majors who become farmers...
Because they always find a job in their field.
A lot of people think Sigmund Frued is a hack.
And yes, some of his theories were proven wrong but the work he did made the field of psychology so famous he should never be forgotten. They just go hand in hand, you cant have one without the mother,
What are your career goals?
Me: I'd like a job in agriculture.
Why?
Me: It's a growing field.
Use any units you'd like (actually happened in a class of mine)
Professor: Anyone want to guess the Earth's magnetic field strength? Use any units you'd like.
Student: *raises hand*
Professor: Yes?
Student: 1 Earth
It's not easy being a farmer
You have to be outstanding in your field
Spy
A spy is getting instructions for his mission: You will parachute in a field behind the enemy lines. By the field there is a shack by a road. Behind the shack there is bicycle. Ride the bicycle 10 miles north and you will be in a village where you will meet your contact at the local tavern. He will give further information.
That evening the spy is dropped from the airplane. The parachute doesn't open. The spy complains: I bet there is no bicycle either .
Why is a field of grass always older than you?
Because it's pasture age
A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer "How long will it take me to get to the next town?"
The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes.
Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"
Didn't know how fast you could walk".
what did the plank of wood say as it lay abandoned and immobile in a field for 50 years?
I'm board.
A Priest And A Taxi Driver Arrive At The Pearly Gates
A Priest And A Taxi Driver Arrive At The Pearly Gates
St. Peter welcomes them and shows them to their homes.
For the taxi driver, a beautiful villa looking over a gorgeous field of clouds. "Thank you," the ecstatic taxi driver said.
Anticipating an even bigger mansion, the priest was dismayed when they arrived at a small 1-bedroom apartment.
"St. Peter, I'm a little puzzled," the priest began. "As a clergyman, I devoted decades of my life solely to serving the Lord. How come the taxi driver got a villa, and for me, only a small apartment?"
St. Peter smiled. "Up here, we go by results. While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whenever I see an Astronomy discovery it reminds me of this joke
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were on the train from London to Edinburgh, as they passed the Scottish border they saw a black sheep.
'Ah ha' said the astronomer 'from that I can deduce that in Scotland all sheep are black'
'No' said the physicist 'we can deduce that in Scotland some sheep are black'
'Actually' said the mathematician 'all we know is that in Scotland there is a field in which there is a sheep, one side of which is black'
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:
This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.
A bus filled with politicians is speeding down a country road when it swerves into a field and hits a tree.
The farmer who owns the field and tree comes out to investigate. Then he digs a hole and buries the politicians. A few days later the sheriff drives by and sees the bus. He goes and gets the farmer and asks him where the politicians are. He says he buried them. The sheriff asks if they were all dead. The farmer says, "Some of them were but some of them were trying to tell me they weren't. But you know how politicians lie!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde woman is driving through the countryside when she spots another blonde woman sitting in a canoe in the middle of a field, trying to row through the grass.
Feeling very angry she pulls over her car, stomps over to the fence, and calls out to the woman in the canoe. It's women like you who make blondes look s**.... If I could swim I'd come out there and kick your a**...!
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
The sheep in the field learned to run when they heard a zipper...
