Playful Fido Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
A man and a dog walk into a bar
Both get up on stools and the bartender says "sorry no dogs"
"But my dog can talk"
Bartender: "Prove it"
"Fido, what is the top part of a house called"
Dog: "Roof, roof"
Bartender (annoyed): "You're going to have to do better than that"
"Fido, what is the high grassy part of a golf course called?"
Dog: "Ruff, ruff"
Bartender (more annoyed): "I'll give you one last chance before I throw you out"
"Fido, who is the greatest baseball player of all time"
Dog: "Ruth, ruth"
Bartender throws the both of them out into the street.
Dog: "Maybe I should have said Dimaggio"
A man walks into a talent agency with his dog claiming it can talk. The agent says, ok, let's see if this dog is gonna make us rich . The guy says, Fido, what's the top of a house called ? Roof! What's on a tree ? Bark! How does sandpaper feel ? Ruff!
The talent agent tells the man off and kicks him out of his office. As the man and the dog are walking down the street the dog looks up at the man and says, Gee Bob, maybe you should have asked some harder questions .
A sad day indeed
About a week ago I was walking my dog Fido through the park and a mentally disabled kid ran up to us. Immediately upon reaching my dog he started petting him. My dog is not a violent dog by any means but he was spooked and bit the kid. After this incident he ended up getting put down. It saddens me deeply but at least Fido is ok.
My mother bought a new kind of dog food for our pet.
Mom: Did Fido enjoyed his food?
Me: I don't know.
Mom: I thought you fed him and he finished his food?
Me: He did. But he never said he enjoyed it.
Who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?
Just yesterday I told Fido to roll over and play dead. He immediately stiffened up and hasn't moved since!
Apparently dogs can get dementia.
I wondered why Fido never answered when I asked him who's a good boy
