Festival Jokes

Laugh the night away at this year's Festival of Lights with the best jokes from Indianapolis to Edinburgh! From celebratory jokes to hilarious skits, join us as we celebrate the joy of the season with these hilarious festival jokes.

Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Festival Jokes

Beer is good.


After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

Just thought of this

So I was at a hippy music festival and after the show I met a few bands back stage. I saw a bassist sitting in the corner by himself so I sat next to him and asked.

"Hey man, my name is Mark. Whats your name, what you been up to?"

"Benjamin"

Hedgehogs...

Why can't they just share the hedge?

One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)

I was at a Real Ale festival the other day

and I got talking to a bloke who knew loads about beer, he was telling me about all the different aromas and brewing processes.

I said, "You sound like a connoisseur."

He said, "No, my name's Graham."

jokes about festival

Saw a Silent Film Festival today

Logged into FB & scrolled through the feed.

The Indian baking festival was kind of a bust.

It was a naan event.

What do you call a Muslim festival?

Halal-apalooza

Festival joke, What do you call a Muslim festival?

Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival?

...They're calling for a Lil Wayne

Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival?

She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast.

My favorite drawings at the Muhammad cartoon festival in Texas were the two chalk outlines out front.

Credit Evan Sayet.

What's a confederates favourite school festival?

the Sumner fete.

You can explore festival edinburgh reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean festival fringe dad jokes. There are also festival puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

What town should a "mountain oyster" festival be held in?

Oxnard, CA

Did you hear about the guys who got lost at the music festival?

They turned up

I got kicked out of the conga festival

I don't blame them. I was way out of line.

The Islamic State is hosting a music festival in Iraq.

The first annual Allahpalooza is sure to go off with a bang.

What do you call a big music festival with no instruments?

Acoachella

Festival joke, What do you call a big music festival with no instruments?

A man asked for directions to the guillotine festival...

It's just ahead.

Whatis the religious festival that programmers celebrate?

The festival of IDE

What's a feminists favorite music festival?

Burning Man.

How many people at a Music Festival does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Zero, its already lit

What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much?

Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect

What does a g**... at a carribean festival have in common with a panda?

He eats shoots and leaves!

Do you know what Richard Pryor's favorite festival?

burning man

Did you know that your body is the temple of God?

Aww yeah, my body IS a temple & it's clearly harvest festival.
Now bring me the virgins.

Did you hear about the local barber?

He liked killing people with his blades during the summer festival.
They called him the buzzkill.

Some fans were disappointed after seeing their favourite band play on a vegan music festival.

Apparently there was no meat and greet.

Festival joke, Some fans were disappointed after seeing their favourite band play on a vegan music festival.

The death count nears 50 after scaffolding collapses and crushes fans at a rock music festival...

Eye-witnesses say there was a lot of heavy metal.

The Fyre Festival

It is what it is.

What's a festival-goers favourite fruit?

Glastonberries

Why did the cops arrest the guy selling water at a music festival?

They said he was in tent to supply.

My parents won't take me to the Renaissance festival.

No fair at all.

Today is the 1st day of the Hungry Ghosts Festival, but it rained all day so they weren't able to burn joss papers

Needless to say, the ancestors were rather incensed.

Being an Indian, my white friends asked me about what Indians did during the festival of Diwali...

They got very happy and asked me to take them to India the next time. I don't know what's there to be happy about. I just told them " We blow crackers."

A group of philosophers started a movie festival...

...and they decided to call it "Immanuel Cannes".

A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are g**...!"

I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."

Hey Dad, can we go to the Sundance film festival?

"No son. But we can go do the dad dance film festival."

How wide does the stage need to be at the Download festival?

Depends on the bandwidth.

Why didn't anyone show up to the Indian bread festival?

They heard it was a naan-event.

True story: I'm at a music festival with my wife and she is looking good.

I convince her to go to the port-a-potties. I ask here how high do you think the floor is off the ground. She says "I don't know, 3 inches?". I seductively ask her if she would like to accompany me in to the port-a-pottie and Join the 3 inch club. She looks at me sarcastically and says......"Oh, I've already joined the 3 inch club!!!" OUCH!

Did you hear about what happened to everyone that went to the hair-coloring festival?

They all DYED!

Working at the Jobcentre has to be a tense job

knowing that if you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.

Who says Fyre Festival was a failure?

Instead of entertaining thousands of people it entertained millions.

I recently attended a really wild Pagan Religions Festival

People got really into it! They were worshiping anyone that wasn't nailed down

So I purchased a DVD called Fyre Festival: Behind the Scenes

It cost $100 and there was no disc in the case

What is the body's comedy festival called?

Humer us

I recently went to a folk festival...

I was the only one who brought my folks.

The wizard materialized on the hill above the outdoor festival and proclaimed, All shall be vanquished.... except those in temporary shelters supported by a pole, and fully aquatic animals with s**...-shaped teeth!

The area was safe for all in tents and porpoises.

I got arrested for fishing without a license at a dubstep festival.

The arresting officer yelled "drop the bass!"

The counties of Devon and Cornwall organised a huge music festival with the reunions of both The Jam and Cream.

The festival was called off due to the two counties not being able to agree which should go on first.

Breaking News - Devon and Cornwall Music Festival

The Devon and Cornwall Music Festival due to take place this weekend has had to be cancelled. They couldn't decide who to put on first, The Jam or Cream

What's the difference between wit and a joke?

A young filmmaker excited to be part of his first film festival is attending a talk between a director and a writer. At the end of the talk he gets up and shouts out, "If I could ask a question, what's the difference between wit and a joke?"

The writer looks at him for a second, picks up his glass of water and pours it on his own head, says
"This, is a joke"

Surprised by the sudden act, the young filmmaker proceeds hesitantly, "And what is wit?"

The writer responds, "Wit is dry".

There was a seventies and scones music festival being hosted in South West England but organisers had a problem.

They couldn't decide whether to put The Jam or Cream on first.

A fortune teller once told h**... he would die on a Jewish festival.

"How do you know" asked h**....

The fortune teller replied "Any day you die will be a Jewish festival."

During the 3 days of the Woodstock festival, over 400,000 people attended

The town of Bethel had prepared beforehand and many vendors gathered there to sell food, water, and other necessities.

It's estimated that 2.7 million gallons of water was sold over the weekend,

along with 750,000 cans of beer,

100,000 hot dogs,

15,000 pounds of granola,

and a bar of soap

What is William Shatner's favorite film festival?

*CAAAAAAAAANNES!!!* ^^^^^^imsosorry

Went to a rock festival and got arrested for selling p**... to The Police.

It was a Sting operation.

You'll never guess what happened to my f**... when I went to a Jewish festival the other day?

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Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the festival edinburgh festival puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working festival festival of lights piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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