Ferrari Jokes
103 ferrari jokes and hilarious ferrari puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ferrari that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Read through the funniest Ferrari jokes and find out why they are the best jokes when it comes to cars. Discover the strategy behind Ferrari's F1 drivers, and even learn why a Lamborghini or an Audi can't compete with Ferrari. Spend some time checking out the funniest Ferrari jokes here.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Ferrari Short Jokes
Short ferrari jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ferrari humour may include short race car jokes also.
- Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race? Because he expecto'd Petronas.
- 2 reasons why I don't let my girlfriend drive my Ferrari Reason 1: I have no Ferrari
Reason 2: I have no girlfriend - And the ferrari speeds past the finish line... In the worst case of cheating the London marathon has ever seen!
- If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa... What colour Ferrari would you get?
- A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button... ... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.
- Dark Jokes? What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.
- What's the difference between Madeline mccann and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.
- Last night I dreamed I was driving a Ferrari in the Formula 1 championship race... I was fast, asleep.
- What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari? Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.
- Did y'all hear about the Anti-vax kid who bought a Ferrari at the age of 2? Yeah, it was his midlife crisis.
Share These Ferrari Jokes With Friends
Ferrari One Liners
Which ferrari one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ferrari? I can suggest the ones about ford car and sports car.
- I identify as a ferrari Because I like to have two people inside of me.
- My lovelife is like a ferrari. I can't afford it.
- My girlfriend is like my Ferrari... I don't have one.
- Someone ran into the back of my Ferrari Now it's al dente
- What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common? Princess Diana can't stop either
- My Love Life is Like my Ferrari... It's nonexistent
- No matter how rad your Ferrari sounds Niki's is Lauda!
- What's the fastest thing at sea? Stevie Wonder in his Ferrari.
- What do you call a car that's been covered in chocolate? A Ferrari Rocher.
- My bathroom scale is like a ferrari I can go from 0 to 300 in about 5 seconds with it
- Money might not buy happiness BUT I'd rather cry in my matte black ferrari.
- When Chuck Norris touched a Prius, it turned into a Ferrari
- What car doesn't stay forever A tem-ferrari
- What do you call a chocolate travelling at 100mph? A ferrari rocher.
- I just bought a Pontiac that s**... identifies as a Ferrari It's a Trans Am
Happy Ferrari Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about ferrari you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean corvette jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ferrari pranks.
A man smokes a pack a day for 30 years
His wife, sick of it: do you realize that if you had saved all this cigaret money you could have bought a ferrari by now ?
The man answers: well where's your ferrari ?
Bill and Ted were at a bar...
Bill asked, "Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"
"Dave is dead," said Ted.
"How?"
Ted said, "Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."
"What a terrible way to die!"
"Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the fridge tipped over. It knocked down my china cabinet as well, and everything fell on him."
"Flattened by a refrigerator? That's horrible!"
"That didn't kill him either. He managed to stand up but he fell again, this time into my fireplace. He caught on fire, and started running frantically about. Everything he touched caught on fire, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain."
"That's the worst thing yet! Oh man, poor Dave!"
"No, he was still alive after that."
"Wait, he survived all that? How exactly did he die?"
"Well, I shot him. He was destroying my house."
Other students come by train
A student to his father:
Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son
Next day, an answer comes:
My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.
Two prostitutes were talking about clients...
When one of them points to the Mercedes across the street.
"You see that car, the owner afforded it because of me" she said with a smile on her face
"You know, that's not how it works, we don't give them money, they give it to us" the second said confused.
"Yeah, I know, before he met me, he had the money to buy a Ferrari"
A genie in a bottle grants a man all his wishes
"But", says the genie, "of all the things you wish, your wife gets double."
"I wish for a hundred million dollars!", orders the man.
"So it shall be. Your wife gets $200 million", replies the genie.
"I wish for a Ferrari!"
"A Ferrari for you, two Ferraris for your wife."
The man is not satisfied, so after a minute of thinking, he wishes:
"Beat me half dead!"
A very successful lawyer buys a new Ferrari...
He parks in front of his office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he gets out, a truck passes too close and completely tears the door off of the driver's side. The counselor immediately grabs his cell phone, dials 911, and within minutes a policeman pulls up to take a report.
Before the officer has a chance to ask any questions, the lawyer starts screaming hysterically. His Ferrari, which he had just picked up the day before, was now completely ruined and would never be the same, no matter what the body shop did to it.
When the lawyer finally winds down from his ranting and raving, the officer shakes his head in disgust.
"I can't believe how materialistic you lawyers are," he said. "All you care about is money and your possessions."
The lawyer unleashes a stream of obscenities before the officer can calm him down.
"Hear me out...see, you are so worried about your car, you didn't even notice that the accident took off your left arm."
"Oh my god!" screams the lawyer. "Where's my Rolex!"
Three men were discussing the presents they gave their wives...
Guy 1: I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 4 seconds
Guy 2: What?
Guy 1: A brand new Porsche 911
Guy 2: Well I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 3.2 seconds
Guy 1: What?
Guy 2: A brand new Ferrari
Guy 3: That's nothing I gave my wife a present that goes from 0-250 in 2 seconds
Guy 2: Wow what?
Guy 3: A weight scale
A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...
He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.
A Man Finds a Magic Lamp While Walking Down the Beach
He rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! The Genie says "I'll grant you three wishes BUT!!!! There is a catch. Whatever you wish for every lawyer in the world will receive double."
After thinking long and hard and about his decision the man finally answers. "I'd like a A 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO."
"Done" says the genii and snaps his fingers. The man instantly feels the weight of the keys in his pocket.
"I'd like $500,000 tax free" says the man.
"Done" Says the Genii. And the man reaches into his other pocket to find a Powerball ticket.
Finally the man takes a deep breath and wishes his third and final wish.
"I wish to donate a kidney."
Paint it green
A young man shows up for a job at a large house and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and gives the young man a gallon of green paint and a brush and tells him to go out back and paint the "porch green." After a few hours the young man comes back and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and the young man says, "Sir, I'm done paintin', but that aint no porch you got out back, it's a Ferrari."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man finds a magic lamp
A man finds a magic lamp while cleaning out his attic, he rubs some of the dust off of it and out pops a genie.
"I'll grant you 3 wishes, but whatever you wish for, your ex wife will get twice as much"
Bitter about his recent divorce, the man thinks for a bit and says "Alright, I want a mansion with a triple garage."
The genie says "Here is your mansion with the triple garage, your ex wife has 2"
Next,the man says "I want a BMW, a Ferrari and a Lamborghini for my garage"
The genie says, "You now have 3 cars for your garage, your ex wife has 6"
The man gets a smile on his face as he says his last wish," I want to be beaten half to death!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man is offered one wish...
A man stumbles upon a lamp and rubs it... same old setup, you know the story - but this time it's different; a genie pops out and offers him just ONE wish.
However, there is a condition.
The genie says he can wish for anything he wants, but whatever he asks for his wife gets double. "You want a ferrari, your wife gets two... you want a million pounds, your wife gets two million pounds".
The man understands and thinks about it... what could he do to maximise the use of this unique opportunity?
After a little while his eyes light up and he tells the genie he knows what he wants.
"My wish is for you to beat me half to death".
Ferrari
Woman:
Do you drink beer?
Man: Yes
Woman:
How many beers a day?
Man:
Usually about 3
Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?
Man: $5.00 which includes a tip
Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?
Man:
About 20 years, I suppose
Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each
month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20
years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?
Man:
Correct
Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man:
Do you drink beer?
Woman:
No
Man:
Where's your Ferrari?
Three men die and go to heaven.
At the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that he will ask each of them a question and that their answer will determine how they will get around in heaven.
He asks the first man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, No, never! St. Peter says, Good man, I will give you a Ferrari for your loyalty.
St. Peter then asks the second man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, I did once and regret it to this day! St. Peter says, I hear your regret. Take this Honda Civic.
St. Peter then asks the third man, Have you ever cheated on your wife? The man answers, Many times. What can I say, I just love women! St. Peter says, You are honest. Take this scooter. At least you won't have to walk.
So the third man is riding around on his scooter when he sees the first man's Ferrari pulled over to the side of the road. He sees the man, crying, and asks, What's wrong?
The first man replies, I just saw my wife on a bicycle.
Red hot ferrari color nail polish !
gf: Where is my birthday gift babe?
bf: Can you see that red hot ferrari on the other side of the road?
gf: Yes! Yes! Yes! (with extreme excitement)
bf: I bought same color nail polish for you babe! :v :v
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Kevin¹s h**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny
The teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest h**..., give her a Ferrari worth a million bucks, an apartment in London, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel all over Europe, a Visa Card with no limit, and all the time b**... her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.
And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's h**...."
An Arab student e-mails his dad
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."
4 friends (Ladies) meet 30 years after school at reunion.....
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about how
successful their sons became.
No. 1 says her son studied economics, became a banker and is so rich
he gave his best friend a ferrari.
No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline, became so
rich he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own development
company, became so rich he build his best friend a castle.
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the buzz is about.
They told her they were talking about how successful their sons became
and asked her about her son.
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son for not
becoming successful.
" Oh no !! " said the Lady, he is doing good.
" Last week on his birthday he got a ferrari, a jet and a castle from
3 of his boyfriends..." .
All the 3 Ladies fainted ....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four old friends meet in a pub and discuss how successful their sons are
The first guy says - My son is so successful, he recently got one of his friends a Yacht as a present.
The second guy says - My son is much more successful, he recently got one of his friends a brand new Ferrari.
The third guy says - That's nothing, my son recently got his friend a helicopter as a present.
During all of this, the fourth friend was in the toilet, and when he comes back, the rest of the guys ask him - "What about your son?"
He says - Oh, my son is a male p**..., and he recently got a Yacht, a brand new Ferrari and a Helicopter from his clients!
A husband asks his wife what she'd like for her birthday, she responds with: "I want something red that goes from 0-100 in a second"
So he buys her a red weight scale.
For americans, 0-100Kmh is similar to 0-60Mph, so she implied she wanted a Ferrari or something, the husband bought her a scale, 100kg being around 200 pounds, a lot.
Just went to the thrift store and purchased all the books they had.
Guess I should start test driving my Ferrari.
I got arrested for following my dream.
The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a Bonner
My Ferrari didn't get rear ended yesterday
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cars & s**...
-Hey Marc, I bet your sexlife is like your Ferrari!
"I don't have a Ferrari."
-That's what i mean.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Johny the Fighter Pilot
A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"
Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest p**..., give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"
"I wanna be Johnny's p**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men die in a car c**...
They find themselves at the gates of Heaven. Saint Peter approaches them, saying "Okay, you'll get a vehicle for getting around Heaven depending on your faithfulness to your spouse".
The first man says "I never cheated on my wife, and I love her". He gets a Ferrari.
The second man says "I cheated on my wife once, but I still love her". He gets a horse.
The third man says "I cheated on my wife a couple times, but I still love her". He gets a scooter.
Soon after being allowed in to heaven, the man on his scooter sees the man in his Ferrari, crying his eyes out, and asks "What's wrong?".
The man looks up, and replies "I just saw my wife with a pair of roller skates...".
A german, italian, and american chat in a bar..
A German, an Italian, and an American chat in a bar.
The German says: "my wife goes 0 to 100 in 7 seconds!"
"How so?" replies the Italian.
"I bought her a Porsche" replies the German.
"bah! my wife goes 0 to 100 in 5 seconds!!" the Italian states.
"really?? how?" asks the German.
"I bought her a Ferrari!!" smirks the Italian.
"my wife goes 0-100 in 2 seconds" replies the American.
"impossible!! how???" both say the German and Italian.
"I bought her a weigh scale!"
Do you smoke cigarettes?
Paul: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Patrick: Oh yes.
Paul: How many sticks a day?
Patrick: 7 packs.
Paul: When did you start smoking?
Patrick: 18 years ago.
Paul: How much does a pack cost?
Patrick: 10 dollars
Paul: So you spent 70 dollars a day on cigarettes?
Patrick: Yes.
Paul: If you had saved the 70 dollars a day for 18 years, that would be $460,000 and you could be driving your own Ferrari right now.
Patrick: Can I ask you a question?
Paul: Go ahead.
Patrick: Do you smoke cigarettes?
Paul: No.
Patrick: So where is your Ferrari?
If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari.
I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month.
... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari.
A man goes to buy a Ferrari...
but he was short of $1.
He saw a homeless man and said "Can you give me a dollar, I have to buy a Ferrari."
The homeless man gave him two dollars and said "Get one for me too."
A Saudi Arabian Oil Baron sends his son to study abroad...
To help his son in his life and studies abroad, he gives his son a good deal of money and more importantly, a Ferrari sportscar, as he though it might be a good idea to flaunt some wealth.
Despite this, a few weeks later his son calls him and laments Dad, every time I go to lectures, I drive there with my Ferrari, but everyone else there takes the train, its really awkward as I'm the only guy with a car!
Incensed, the Oil Baron practically yells into the phone Son, I'm depositing 10 million Euros into your account now, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train!
what's the difference between a baby and a Ferrari
I didn't lose my vriginity in the back of a Ferrari
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes for a walk....
A man goes for a walk along the beach after a bad divorce with his wife. During his walk he finds an old lamp in the sand. Upon further examining it, a genie comes out and tells him he will grant three wishes, but whatever you wish for your ex-wife will get double.
The man quickly uses his first wish for a brand new Ferrari, but his ex-wife got two new Ferraris as well.
The man, just as quickly, uses his second wish for one million dollars, but his ex-wife got two million dollars.
The man now takes his time for his third wish, the genie can tell he is really thinking about it. The man finally decides on his third wish and says "Beat me half to death."
Two panhandlers meet after a long time and talk about their last year income
Guy 1: How did it go last year?
Guy 2: Pretty decent, I was able to purchase a two bedroom apartment, a Ferrari and furnish my house.
Guy 1: Whaaaaaat? How did you manage to do that, I have been on the streets 24x7 and have hardly managed to pay rent and look after my family?
Guy 2: What does your sign say?
Guy 1: No work, wife and 2 kids to support. What does your sign say?
Guy 2: Need a few bucks to go back to my country.
They say money can't buy happiness…
But tell me, have you ever seen a sad man in a Ferrari?
A guy with a Ferrari
drives his car a bit over the limit. Suddenly he gets pulled over by a policewoman. Knowing he was in trouble, he asks:
"How much?"
The policewoman replies:
"That's gonna be 95 dollars"
To which the man replies:
"Sounds good, get in."
What's the easiest way to get a small fortune?
Take a large fortune and buy a used Ferrari.
What did the Formula 1 commentator say when Kimi Raikkonen drifted gracefully past the finish line in pole position?
"That's a great finnish by the Ferrari star."
What do you call a guy that drives a Ferrari, but can't afford the down payment on his house?
Magnum PMI
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I realized prostitutes name themselves after exotic cars like Porsche or Ferrari because they're "the sexiest ride you'll ever have"...
So my p**... name would be "Teacups."
A son of a wealthy arab prince goes to college in europe
After a few months he gets a letter from his father asking how he is, and how's college life, etc.
And he replies to his father: "oh, everything is fine here, but it is really strange, most people here come to college by train and bus, and I'm the only one driving a golden Ferrari every day to classes"
And after a few days, he gets a letter from his father with a black credit card inside and a note saying: "Son, dont humiliate the family, here's the unlimited credit card, buy yourself a train too!"
I heard about this spoiled girl who freaked out...
Because her parents bought her a black Ferrari instead of a blue one.
Really makes me appreciate my parents
Because they bought me a blue one
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Ferrari and an e**...?
A Ferrari is hard to get.
To get hard is an e**....
Guy and genie in a bottle
Guy finds a bottle and opens it. Out comes the ghost and says:
"I will grant you 3 wishes but there's a catch...for every wish you make every politician in the world gets double of that."
And the guy says: "I want a Ferrari"
Ghost: "Done, plus 2 for each politician"
Guy: "I want 10 million dollars"
Ghost: "Done, plus 20 million for each politician"
Guy: "I always wanted to donate a kidney"
A guy looking for work
A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.
A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.
I regularly send emails with the voice function on my yellow Ferrari
I always end the emails with "Dictated but not red". Plus the insurance is cheaper.
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?
Ferrari's give me indigestion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Ferrari and a 23 year old blonde girl?
I don't have a Ferrari t**... in my garage.
If you had a million dollars, between donating them to charity and buying a new car,
What color would your Ferrari be?
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An English Lord of the Manor returned home early from his grouse shoot to find his wife having s**... in bed with his best friend, the local MP.
'How could you, Miranda?' he cried. 'After everything I've done for you. I've given you this beautiful house, I've always provided you with the most expensive clothes and jewels, I bought you a Ferrari for your birthday, I've tried to be a kind husband, and this is how you repay me!'
Hearing this, the wife burst into tears.
The Lord then turned to the MP: 'And as for you, Reggie, you might at least have the decency to stop while I'm talking!'
I heard an Italian supercar manufacturer is going to be making its next model be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts
They're calling it the Ferrari Rocher
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day God came down and said to three guys
One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard."
After just 2 days.....
...... I have lost my new job as the marketing manager of Nestle.
They gave me a £3 million advertising budget and told me to spend it wisely or lose my job.
I pulled up in my Ferrari this morning and said, I've decided to lose my job.
An Arab student emails his dad:
*An arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.
When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I'll get me a b**..., and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have s**... with her 3 times a day.
The teacher was lost for words and didn't know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.
Marie replied: "I'd like to be Johnny's b**...!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Arrogant Boss
The secretary saw that her boss' zipper was open when he walked out of the bathroom.
Hey boss, "Your garage door is open."
The arrogant boss walked real close to her and said, "I hope you got a good look at my Ferrari."
The witty secretary quickly said, "No, but I did get a glimpse of a small scooter with two deflated wheels."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...
...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.
A guy buys a new ferrari
he takes it out to drive, and the next day comes back to the dealership with a broken gearbox
the dealer says that the insurance covers it so they get it fixed and he goes back out
the next day the gearbox breaks again, and the dealer once again says no problem and gets it fixed. the guy goes back out once again.
on the third day, the guy manages to break it again. the dealer, understandably upset, asks him what he did.
the guy says 'well I was changing up gears from 1st, to 2nd etc till I got to 6th, then changed to rocket mode and there was a loud bang?'
