The Best 63 Ferrari Jokes

Following is our collection of Ferrari jokes which are very funny. There are some ferrari racecar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ferrari bugatti puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

A man smokes a pack a day for 30 years

His wife, sick of it: do you realize that if you had saved all this cigaret money you could have bought a ferrari by now ?

The man answers: well where's your ferrari ?

Dark Jokes?

What's worse than 18 dead babies in a bucket? 1 baby in 18 different buckets.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my Garage.

Other students come by train

A student to his father:

Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son

Next day, an answer comes:

My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.

Two prostitutes were talking about clients...

When one of them points to the Mercedes across the street.

"You see that car, the owner afforded it because of me" she said with a smile on her face

"You know, that's not how it works, we don't give them money, they give it to us" the second said confused.

"Yeah, I know, before he met me, he had the money to buy a Ferrari"

A genie in a bottle grants a man all his wishes

"But", says the genie, "of all the things you wish, your wife gets double."

"I wish for a hundred million dollars!", orders the man.

"So it shall be. Your wife gets $200 million", replies the genie.

"I wish for a Ferrari!"

"A Ferrari for you, two Ferraris for your wife."

The man is not satisfied, so after a minute of thinking, he wishes:

"Beat me half dead!"


What's the best way to grease a Ferrari?

Run over an Italian.

Three men were discussing the presents they gave their wives...

Guy 1: I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 4 seconds

Guy 2: What?

Guy 1: A brand new Porsche 911

Guy 2: Well I gave my wife something that goes from 0-60 in 3.2 seconds

Guy 1: What?

Guy 2: A brand new Ferrari

Guy 3: That's nothing I gave my wife a present that goes from 0-250 in 2 seconds

Guy 2: Wow what?

Guy 3: A weight scale

My lovelife is like a ferrari.

I can't afford it.

A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...

He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.

A Man Finds a Magic Lamp While Walking Down the Beach

He rubs the lamp and out pops a genie! The Genie says "I'll grant you three wishes BUT!!!! There is a catch. Whatever you wish for every lawyer in the world will receive double."

After thinking long and hard and about his decision the man finally answers. "I'd like a A 1963 Ferrari 250 GTO."

"Done" says the genii and snaps his fingers. The man instantly feels the weight of the keys in his pocket.

"I'd like $500,000 tax free" says the man.

"Done" Says the Genii. And the man reaches into his other pocket to find a Powerball ticket.

Finally the man takes a deep breath and wishes his third and final wish.

"I wish to donate a kidney."

Paint it green

A young man shows up for a job at a large house and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and gives the young man a gallon of green paint and a brush and tells him to go out back and paint the "porch green." After a few hours the young man comes back and knocks on the front door. The owner opens the door and the young man says, "Sir, I'm done paintin', but that aint no porch you got out back, it's a Ferrari."

Top Ferrari Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore ferrari audi reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ferrari lexus dad jokes. There are also ferrari puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Ferrari

Woman:
Do you drink beer?

Man: Yes

Woman:
How many beers a day?

Man:
Usually about 3

Woman:
How much do you pay per beer?

Man: $5.00 which includes a tip

Woman:
And how long have you been drinking?

Man:
About 20 years, I suppose

Woman:
So a beer costs $5 and you have 3 beers a day which puts your spending each
month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20
years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?

Man:
Correct

Woman:
Do you know that if you didn't drink so much beer, that money could have
been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for
compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?

Man:
Do you drink beer?

Woman:
No

Man:
Where's your Ferrari?

Did you hear about the snail who bought himself a Ferrari and painted a big yellow "S" on the side?

Now wherever he drives, people watch and say "Look at that S-car go!"

whats the difference between a Ferrari and 5 dead children?

i dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:



"What do you want to be when you grow up?"





Little Kevin says: "I wanna start out as a Marine Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest hooker, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."



The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Kevin, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson . .. . ..



And how about you, Sarah?"



"I wanna be KevinΒΉs hooker."

What's the difference between a dead prostitute and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

My girlfriend is like my Ferrari...

I don't have one.

An Arab student e-mails his dad

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.


The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:


My dear loving son,

Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love,
your Dad

Positive...

James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:

" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"

" -Terrible."

" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"

" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."

" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"

" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."

" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"

" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."

" -Oh thank God! How is she?"

" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."

" -Well, at least you got the company."

" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."

" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"

" -Yeah, HIV."


I got arrested for following my dream.

The owner of that Ferrari thought I was a hitman shading him.

What does a Ferrari and poverty have in common?

Princess Diana can't stop either

My Love Life is Like my Ferrari...

It's nonexistent

Cars & sex

-Hey Marc, I bet your sexlife is like your Ferrari!

"I don't have a Ferrari."

-That's what i mean.

My sex life is like a Ferrari!

I don't have a Ferrari.

I just bought a Pontiac that sexually identifies as a Ferrari

It's a Trans Am

Johny the Fighter Pilot

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class: "What do you want to be when you
grow up?"

Little Johnny says: "I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest Prostitute, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while bang her like a loose screen door in a hurricane."

The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson. "And how about you, Sarah?"

"I wanna be Johnny's Prostitute."

Why was Harry Potter surprised when Ferrari won the F1 race?

Because he expecto'd Petronas.

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies?

I haven't got a Ferrari in my garage

What's the fastest thing at sea?

Stevie Wonder in his Ferrari.

If my wife were a car, she'd be a Ferrari.

I paid through the nose for it but only take it out for a spin maybe once a month.

... Also, I wish I had a Ferrari.

A child gets a toy Ferrari stuck in his belly button...

... it wouldn't be a problem if it was an Audi.

A man goes to buy a Ferrari...

but he was short of $1.

He saw a homeless man and said "Can you give me a dollar, I have to buy a Ferrari."

The homeless man gave him two dollars and said "Get one for me too."

what's the difference between a baby and a Ferrari

I didn't lose my vriginity in the back of a Ferrari

2 reasons why I don't let my girlfriend drive my Ferrari

Reason 1: I have no Ferrari

Reason 2: I have no girlfriend

I identify as a ferrari

Because I like to have two people inside of me.

What's the difference between Madeline McCann and a Ferrari?

I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

They say money can't buy happiness…

But tell me, have you ever seen a sad man in a Ferrari?

A guy with a Ferrari

drives his car a bit over the limit. Suddenly he gets pulled over by a policewoman. Knowing he was in trouble, he asks:

"How much?"

The policewoman replies:

"That's gonna be 95 dollars"

To which the man replies:

"Sounds good, get in."

What's the easiest way to get a small fortune?

Take a large fortune and buy a used Ferrari.

What did the Formula 1 commentator say when Kimi Raikkonen drifted gracefully past the finish line in pole position?

"That's a great finnish by the Ferrari star."

What do you call a guy that drives a Ferrari, but can't afford the down payment on his house?

Magnum PMI

What's the difference between a 14-year old girl and a Ferrari?

Roy Moore doesn't have a Ferrari in his basement.

I realized prostitutes name themselves after exotic cars like Porsche or Ferrari because they're "the sexiest ride you'll ever have"...

So my prostitute name would be "Teacups."

I heard about this spoiled girl who freaked out...

Because her parents bought her a black Ferrari instead of a blue one.

Really makes me appreciate my parents

Because they bought me a blue one

What's the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?

A Ferrari is hard to get.

To get hard is an erection.

You can compare my lovelife with my Ferrari.

I don't have a Ferrari.

Guy and genie in a bottle

Guy finds a bottle and opens it. Out comes the ghost and says:

"I will grant you 3 wishes but there's a catch...for every wish you make every politician in the world gets double of that."

And the guy says: "I want a Ferrari"

Ghost: "Done, plus 2 for each politician"

Guy: "I want 10 million dollars"

Ghost: "Done, plus 20 million for each politician"

Guy: "I always wanted to donate a kidney"

A guy looking for work

A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150 to paint his porch.

A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, I'm finished. But you should know that your car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche.

No matter how rad your Ferrari sounds

Niki's is Lauda!

My boss showed up to work in a brand new Ferrari

He told me, "if you work hard, put in all your hours, and never give up; next year I'll get another one!"

What's the difference between a Ferrari and a 23 year old blonde girl?

I don't have a Ferrari tied up in my garage.

If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...

What colour Ferrari would you get?

If you had a million dollars, between donating them to charity and buying a new car,

What color would your Ferrari be?

Money might not buy happiness BUT

I'd rather cry in my matte black ferrari.

The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.

He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"









Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"

Did y'all hear about the Anti-vax kid who bought a Ferrari at the age of 2?

Yeah, it was his midlife crisis.

I heard an Italian supercar manufacturer is going to be making its next model be covered in chocolate and hazelnuts

They're calling it the Ferrari Rocher

Someone ran into the back of my Ferrari

Now it's al dente

After just 2 days.....

...... I have lost my new job as the marketing manager of Nestle.
They gave me a Β£3 million advertising budget and told me to spend it wisely or lose my job.
I pulled up in my Ferrari this morning and said, I've decided to lose my job.

An Arab student emails his dad:

*An Arab student emails his dad:*

Dear Dad,

Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.

Your son, Nasser.



*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*


My dear loving son,

Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.

Love,
your Dad

The teacher was asking her students what they wanted to be when they grow up.

When it came to Johnny he said, I want to be a billionaire and go to expensive clubs. I'll get me a bitch, and buy her a million-dollar apartment in Vegas, a Ferrari, a beach house in Miami, a jet to fly with, expensive jewelry and have sex with her 3 times a day.

The teacher was lost for words and didn't know what to do, so she just proceeded along and asked Marie what she wanted to be.

Marie replied: "I'd like to be Johnny's bitch!!"

An Arrogant Boss

The secretary saw that her boss' zipper was open when he walked out of the bathroom.

Hey boss, "Your garage door is open."

The arrogant boss walked real close to her and said, "I hope you got a good look at my Ferrari."

The witty secretary quickly said, "No, but I did get a glimpse of a small scooter with two deflated wheels."

And the ferrari speeds past the finish line...

In the worst case of cheating the London marathon has ever seen!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ferrari dealership jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ferrari bmw piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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