feminine Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious feminine puns

My Spanish teacher taught me the word for "Transgender"

I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine


My wife said I needed to get more in touch with my feminine side.

So I crashed the car, burnt the dinner and completely ignored her all night for no fucking reason.


I decided to get in touch with my feminine side today

...so I made myself a sandwich.


As a man i avoid wearing pink shirts or anything too feminine ..

thats why my bra and panties are always black.


My Dad's Best Joke - Not a dad joke

My dad was enjoying a smoke break during an in-service training at the police academy. He had taken to smoking Misty cigarettes. A friend from a neighboring police force asked him why he was smoking such a feminine cigarette.

"Well, Kay went out to get something out of my cruiser the other day, and found a pack of these between the seats. I had to tell her I'd switched."

"Oh... Are they any good?"

"They're not bad, but these thong panties keep riding up my ass."


A woman was at the checkout line at the grocery store...

She started to unload her basket. 6 items were all that she was getting. Some feminine products, some snacks, and some tanning oil. A man, visibly drunk walks up and stands behind her in line. He puts a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey on the conveyor. She notices the man looking at her and turns to him. He looks down and takes a look at the items she is buying. As he looks at them, he says "you must be single!" She gets confused and looks at her items. She thinks "wow this must be some kind of trick or something. How could he gather that from what I'm buying? This guy is pretty good". Playing along, she looks back at the drunk and says, "well, you are correct. But how on Earth did you gather that?" He says, "Well, because you're fuckin ugly"


Computer gender joke

A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

"House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa."

"Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz."

A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?"

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is impossible to understand for everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval;

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group concluded that computers should be masculine ("el computador"), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem;

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer you could have gotten a better model.


Did you hear about the feminine hygiene spray SSY?

It takes the PU out of pussy.


A Comparison of the Different Languages

**French**: This chair is feminine. "La Chaise"

**Italian**: This chair is feminine! "La Sedia"

**German**: This chair is masculine. "Der Stuhl"

**English**: This chair is an object, I don't see how it has a gender.

**Japanese**: If you don't pronounce chair exactly right, you'll end up calling your mother a pair of rotten testicles instead.


A British guy, a Frenchman and a Russian were in a bar debating

whether Adam and Eve were British, French, or Russian.

The British guy says, " Obviously they were both British, observe how Adam offered Eve some of his apple after he received it from her, true British manners".

French guy says: "Non, non, monsieur they were both French. First of all they were both NAKED, and Eve was so feminine and seductive and drove Adam nuts".

Russian guy says: "Both of you are wrong. I can prove conclusively that Adam and Eve were nothing but Russian. They had no clothes. They had no heat. All that was left to eat was one lousy apple and they called it paradise!"


They said to get in touch with my feminine side.

So I did, and my next paycheck was 22% less.


I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"


How does The Flash deal with feminine criminals?

With flashbangs.


All feminine hygiene products now on sale for HALF PRICE

But hurry - it's just for the Christmas period.


While in town today I saw a homeless woman and I remembered seeing something on facebook about giving them feminine products instead of money.

Feeling suddenly very generous I rushed into Boots and two minutes later presented the homeless woman with a carrier bag.

She thanked me, looked in the bag and with tears in her eyes asked me.

"Where the fuck am I going to plug an iron in?"


A wife comes home from a long day at work

She goes to her room and she sees a pair of feminine feet in the bed with a pair of manly feet.

Assuming that her husband is cheating on her, she goes into a rage and starts beating their legs.

After about 20 seconds of punching, she hears her husband call from the kitchen Honey! Just wanted to let you know your parents are here


So i have this over the top gay friend..

He gets really screechy and table slappy when we watch hockey.

Slapping the table top and screeching in a high pitched feminine voice when his team scores a goal.

I wonder what in his past made him this way?

Was it caused by trauma?

Did he not get enough attention from his father?

Was he molested by his uncle?

Seriously people aren't just born Maple Leaf fans!


Want to reduce the gender pay gap?

Change your major from feminine interpretive dance to electrical engineering.


What do you do when a feminine hygiene product catches on fire?

You throw it on the ground and tampon it.


What's the difference between Rick Perry and Summers Eve?

One is a feminine hygiene product, and the other is a disposable douche.


What's the feminine name for the Internet Highway?



I like my women like I like my beverages!

Really feminine.


Why is the universe feminine in nature?

Because it's made up of galaxies.


Her: I like a guy who's in touch with his feminine side

Me: *trying to impress her*
I'm on my periods


My wife said I needed to be more in touch with my feminine side,...

so I crashed the car, burnt the dinner, and ignored her all day for no reason.


People sometimes say "feminine wiles..."

Is that like cooking "while" cleaning?


What do you get when you combine a feminine wig and a leather sandal?

A Mirkinstock.


The men's room was occupied

I guess I feel a little feminine today


What do you call a movie about feminine hygiene products?

a period piece


Whats the difference between a Never Trumper and a douche?

One is a feminine products and the other is a pussy.


Order a pizza and we'll tell you which feminine hygiene product you should use.



Cameltoe is feminine...

With the masculine form mooseknuckles. What is the feminine form of sausage fest?


What are the most funny Feminine jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Feminine? Well, here are the best Feminine dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Feminine pick up lines to share with friends.

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