I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
Because it is cheaper.
Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: Pistol, 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up
She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified? Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING"
She decides to report it to the pilot immediately.
"Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! The female passenger looks pretty frightened and the man she is with looks dangerous!"
The pilot responds, "Patricia, I've told you before. This is Air Force One..."
My penis ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
Sir, I think we have a case of human trafficking! There is a very pretty and quiet female passenger on board, who looks quite frightened and the man she is with is a fat, sweaty, old slob who looks like a sexual deviant!
The captain responds, You must be new here. This is Air Force One.
She thinks I'm stalking her or following her. She's worried that I may be obsessed with her and anytime she hears a noise in her house she is... purified. Wait, hold on: "petrified". Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.
I was at the bar the other night and overheard three very hefty women talking. Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?" One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, Wales you bloody idiot!" So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?" And that's the last thing I remember.
Find a used tampon and ask her what period it's from.
Me: Okay, so I would identify as bisexual.
Dad: And that means you would have a male partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: or a female partner.
Me: Yep
Dad: And that means you're bi.
Me: Yep
Dad: So that means if you don't find a partner you're on standbi?
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: Did you just...
I'll fuck their boyfriends
After all he is a Fe-Male.
If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male.
If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.
The man answers: "Wow, how did you know?"
Cashier: "Because you're ugly."
One says to the other, "I left my panties at the police station." The other says, "Let the dog have a whiff of your cunt and he'll go and fetch them."
Fifteen minutes later, the dog returns with her panties, her baton, a broomhandle and two of the inspector's fingers.
female: because it refuses to let me finish a sentence before making suggestions
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it came from.
Then I wait for the next bus
Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
I didn't say female because someone deleted the emale.
He asks "what seems to be the problem, officer?", and the cop responds, "oh, nothing."
If it squirts in your eye without warning it's a male. If it's bitter for no fucking reason, it's a female.
....Like the words President Bush.
Tell her you won't let her make a sandwich for you because she is female
Because bitches love digging up the past.
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
I was embarrassed, but she said, "Don't worry, I'm a professional - I've seen it all before, Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can." I said, "I think my penis tastes funny..."
We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.ο»Ώ
Me: I'm looking for a blow up doll
Manager: Great, we have plenty! What gender?
Me: I'd like a female.
Manager: Awesome, and would you like the doll to be Christian, Protestant, or Muslim?
Me: (confused) Why does the religion matter? What's the difference?
Manager: Well, there really is none between the Christian and Protestant. However, the Muslim will blow itself up.
Ok, he's a chihuahua and I have to lift him up, but it's still embarrassing.
Oops. I meant female but the emale got deleted
One bails her hay and the other heils her bae
It's an ovary action.
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