Fema Jokes
87 fema jokes and hilarious fema puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fema that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Fema Short Jokes
Short fema jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fema humour may include short hurricane jokes also.
- I heard that after Hurricane Irma, FEMA will run out of money. This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.
- Bad weather? FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
Homeowner: Hail, yes.
Share These Fema Jokes With Friends
Hilarious Fun Fema Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about fema you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean propaganda jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fema pranks.
The first all female spacewalk took place today.
I bet they took forever to get ready.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some w**... with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
So, a female friend asked me for my honest, unbiased opinion of her...
...on a scale from 1 to 10. I looked her up and down and said, quickly, "You're an eight." I think she peed a little.
What does a female preacher feed her newborn child?
Pastorized milk.
Why do female skydivers wear tampons?
So they don't whistle on the way down.
Why was the female bank teller angry?
She was going through the change...
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage?
"You should work on your delivery".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What would the female version of Putin be called?
p**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are there no female necrophiliacs?
Because dead guys can't spend money.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
how did the female half of the i**... couple open up the discussion about her swinging fantasy?
c**... wanna poly?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are females so moody when they're on their period?
It's an o**... action.
Did you here about the female thief?
I heard she was a mistake
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why aren't there any female butchers?
Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.
@Men..bet your female friend...
..that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
You can thank me later.
FEmale
The original iron man. (clever feminist joke I read on a T-shirt. Not actually a huge feminist.)
Why don't female mathematicians use tampons?
They are weary of anything that advertises discrete AND continuous protection.
Why female sys-admins restart systems more often then men?
Because they love those new boots!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A female nudist calls for a taxi
The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.
At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?
Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
why do females love old gynecologists...
because of their shaky fingers
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband?
She goes into town and blows a few bucks!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a female carpenter, I'm often asked if I prefer...
To get s**... or nailed...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do female zombies have such a terrible s**... life?
Because whenever they shout, "I want you inside me." all of the guys run away.
What does a female millipede do when she doesn't want to make love?
She crosses her legs and says, "No, no. A thousand times, no!"
What is the female equivalent of a sausage fest?
A clam bake
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Female m**...
My woman told me that she would never play with her self when she was on her period. .
But I caught her red handed !!
Female ghostbusters?
What about male Charlie's Angels?
What is a name for a female lawyer?
Sue
Why are there more female than male archeologists?
They always want to find a new bone.
I went to a female Arab boxing match last night.
It was pretty boring, all they threw were high jabs.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do female ghosts have?
BooOOOooobs.
Why did the female pirate turn lesbian?
Because she did not like sea-men.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine.
But if she shoots up a lot of h**..., she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.
I'm certain there are female hormones in beer.
When I drink too much, I talk nonsense and I cannot control my car.
Why are there no female serial killers ??
Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone.
I think there are female hormones in beer
Because, if you start drinking to much you start to get fat and you lose the ability to drive.
What's a female rabbit called?
Rabbitch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a female filmmaker look for in a guy?
His "a**...-pec ratio".
Why did the female asteroid deny her boyfriends marriage proposal?
Because she was scared of comet-ment
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the female equivalent of a c**...?
The View
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are female lifeguards so s**...?
Getting wet is their business.
Only females will get this...
Pregnant
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Female hormones in a beer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are there no female s**... b**...?
Good luck convincing a girl by telling her if she do it, she will meet 70 virgins in heaven.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you think female squirt isn't p**...…
Then u**... for a big surprise
What's a female communist objective?
Seizing the means of reproduction.
Which female rapper is the spokesperson for Colgate toothpaste?
Clean Ma-teefa
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If EA was a female p**..., she would charge you $80 to come over
Then show up wearing 50 dresses and charge you for each one that you take off
My wife's female intuition is so finely tuned...
...she knows I'm wrong before I even open my mouth.
What do female reindeer do for fun?
Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.
What do female racecar drivers wear?
a skkkkiiiirrrrrrrrrrttt.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A female f**... asked a male f**... to a date...
He replied, I always knew I was a fungi.
The female Praying Mantis devours the male right after mating.
It's easier to collect life insurance than child support.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A female friend of mine told me that i should act more like a knight
So i stopped showering, brushing my teeth and i r**... her
What do a female musician and an elected head of the county police have in common?
She riff.
What does a female snake do after using the restroom?
Viper stuff
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the female tack say to the male tack after s**...?
I love your tackdick
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when a female pig is sad...
She Kermits s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does a female praying mantis ask for from a male p**...?
Head. She always wants head.
Why do female vampires have an advantage over male vampires?
Because they get free supply of blood once a month.
Female parrot thief on the loose
Shes been known to take a cockatoo
What do you say to a female that studied gender science?
Could I have the burger with fries please?
Females stop and think more as they age.
Mental-pause.
Why was the female scarecrow unhappy with her husband?
She was not satisfied with the results of his straw pole.
Females call me Little Ceasar
Cause I got crazy bread and low quality meat.
How can you tell female ants from male ants?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the female pornstar get fired from her job?
She had a fap sheet a mile long!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a female " d**..." in France called??
A d**...-baguette
What's a female ghost's most attractive feature?
Her BOO-bies!
>!Oh come on, it's funny...!<
Do you know about the female cow that always messed up?
Her name was miss steak
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got a female dog, so I named her "Life"
Because Life's a b**...
Why did the female crocodile leave her husband?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I have a few female horses, but one of them always starts freaking out while riding at night
She's my worst night mare
Me: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don't understand why?
Wife: I'm pretty sure it's to stop the male from snoring before it starts
I have a female Horse who sleeps during the day.
She's such a nightmare!
There needs to be an all female Incubus tribute band...
... named Succubus.
If I had a female dog....
I'd name her "Karma."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
This just in, female basketball players were s**... frustrated at the crowd...
...it turns out, the crowd left before they could even finish.
NOTE: First time posting here and I'm not a fun person. This just popped into my mind so bear with me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If females are x**... and males are XY, then what is YYY?
Delilah.
Why do female prisoners never stay in jail for longer than 3 weeks?
Periods always mark the end of a sentence.
Why aren't there any female werewolves?
Because they all want to be mummies
Did you know 10% of female deer like Mario?
It's one in ten doe
