Fema Jokes
87 fema jokes and hilarious fema puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fema that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fema Short Jokes
Short fema jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fema humour may include short hurricane jokes also.
- I heard that after Hurricane Irma, FEMA will run out of money. This is surprising since I thought they would have a rainy day fund.
- Bad weather? FEMA representative: During the last storm did you receive any damage to your property?
Homeowner: Hail, yes.
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Hilarious Fun Fema Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about fema you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean propaganda jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fema pranks.
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some w**... with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
there'r female hormones in beer
So I found out there'r female hormones in beer, cause when you drink beer you argue over trivial things, you don't make any sense, you start to cry and you can't drive anymore.
What do you get when you have 50 female pigs and 50 male deer?
One hundred sowsand bucks
Why are there so few female politicians?
It's hard to put makeup on two faces.
What does a female preacher feed her newborn child?
Pastorized milk.
Why are female schoolteachers always so angry?
They have periods every half hour!
Why was the female bank teller angry?
She was going through the change...
What was the name of Russia's first female traffic cop?
Ivana Pulyova
What do you say to a Female comedian who has just had a miscarriage?
"You should work on your delivery".
Why can't female medical examiners have kids?
Because nobody puts baby in a coroner.
Hey, at least it was original, again I will see myself out.
What would the female version of Putin be called?
p**....
Why aren't there many female NASCAR drivers?
Because women always think they're right.
Why are there no female necrophiliacs?
Because dead guys can't spend money.
Why are females so moody when they're on their period?
It's an o**... action.
Why aren't there any female butchers?
Because anytime they touch meat it turns to bone.
@Men..bet your female friend...
..that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button.
You can thank me later.
Why don't female mathematicians use tampons?
They are weary of anything that advertises discrete AND continuous protection.
Why female sys-admins restart systems more often then men?
Because they love those new boots!
A female nudist calls for a taxi
The taxi stops and the driver scans her from head to toe, with big bold eyes.
At this the nudist erupts: Haven't you seen a n**... girl before?
Driver : It's not about that, I'm just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me..
First female Astronaut on the Moon.
Female: "Houston, we have a problem.
H:" What?"
Female:"Never mind"
H: What's the problem?
Female: "Nothing"
H:Please tell us?
Female:"You know what the problem is."
How does a female deer get revenge on her cheating husband?
She goes into town and blows a few bucks!
What do the female reindeer do when they want some fun?
They go into town and blow a few bucks.
As a female carpenter, I'm often asked if I prefer...
To get s**... or nailed...
What does a female millipede do when she doesn't want to make love?
She crosses her legs and says, "No, no. A thousand times, no!"
What is the female equivalent of a sausage fest?
A clam bake
What is a female peacock?
A peacunt
Female m**...
My woman told me that she would never play with her self when she was on her period. .
But I caught her red handed !!
What is a name for a female lawyer?
Sue
I went to a female Arab boxing match last night.
It was pretty boring, all they threw were high jabs.
Why did the female pirate turn lesbian?
Because she did not like sea-men.
If a female fighter pilot shoots down a lot of enemy airplanes, she might plausibly be called a heroine.
But if she shoots up a lot of h**..., she will probably not be called an enemy airplane.
Why are there no female serial killers ??
Because after the first kill, they have to tell someone.
What's a female rabbit called?
Rabbitch.
What does a female filmmaker look for in a guy?
His "a**...-pec ratio".
What's the female equivalent of a c**...?
The View
Only females will get this...
Pregnant
Female hormones in a beer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
Why are there no female s**... b**...?
Good luck convincing a girl by telling her if she do it, she will meet 70 virgins in heaven.
Why aren't there many female football teams?
Because you can't convince 11 women to wear the same clothes
Why do females prefer old gynecologists?
Their hands shake.
Whenever I see a female bus driver, I'm reminded of how far we have come as a society...
Then I wait for the next bus
If you think female squirt isn't p**...…
Then u**... for a big surprise
If EA was a female p**..., she would charge you $80 to come over
Then show up wearing 50 dresses and charge you for each one that you take off
There should be a female only sport in the Olympics called Conclusions.
Women jump to them every day.
My wife's female intuition is so finely tuned...
...she knows I'm wrong before I even open my mouth.
A female flight attendant walks down the isle and offers a man some headphones.
Would you like some headphones? She asks.
The man smiles a large grin.
Why certainly! He says, And how did you know my name was Phones?
What do female reindeer do for fun?
Go into town and blow a couple hundred bucks.
What do female racecar drivers wear?
a skkkkiiiirrrrrrrrrrttt.
Why was the female crocodile disappointed in her mate?
He had a reptile dysfunction
A female f**... asked a male f**... to a date...
He replied, I always knew I was a fungi.
The female Praying Mantis devours the male right after mating.
It's easier to collect life insurance than child support.
A female friend of mine told me that i should act more like a knight
So i stopped showering, brushing my teeth and i r**... her
How do you tell a female ghost from a male ghost?
Booooooooooooooooooooobs
What does a female snake do after using the restroom?
Viper stuff
What happens when a female pig is sad...
She Kermits s**....
What does a female praying mantis ask for from a male p**...?
Head. She always wants head.
How can you tell a female ant from a male ant?
If you put the ant in a glass of water and it sinks, it's a girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant.
What do you say to a female that studied gender science?
Could I have the burger with fries please?
Why was the female scarecrow unhappy with her husband?
She was not satisfied with the results of his straw pole.
Females call me Little Ceasar
Cause I got crazy bread and low quality meat.
How can you tell female ants from male ants?
They're all females, otherwise they'd be called uncles
The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some w**... with her.
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
What do females have in common with h**...?
They both remove polish with chemicals
What is a female " d**..." in France called??
A d**...-baguette
What's a female ghost's most attractive feature?
Her BOO-bies!
>!Oh come on, it's funny...!<
What do female reindeers do for fun?
Go into town to blow a couple of bucks
Do you know about the female cow that always messed up?
Her name was miss steak
I got a female dog, so I named her "Life"
Because Life's a b**...
Why did the female crocodile leave her husband?
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I have a few female horses, but one of them always starts freaking out while riding at night
She's my worst night mare
Me: You know, the female black widow spider kills the male spider after mating. I don't understand why?
Wife: I'm pretty sure it's to stop the male from snoring before it starts
I have a female Horse who sleeps during the day.
She's such a nightmare!
The first female president is being sworn in.
Her Jewish mother is sitting in the second row next to a Supreme Court Justice, watching. The judge leans over and says, "Madam, you must be VERY proud."
The mother says, "Well, you see that girl with her hand on the Bible? Her brother's a doctor."
There needs to be an all female Incubus tribute band...
... named Succubus.
If I had a female dog....
I'd name her "Karma."
This just in, female basketball players were s**... frustrated at the crowd...
...it turns out, the crowd left before they could even finish.
NOTE: First time posting here and I'm not a fun person. This just popped into my mind so bear with me.
If females are x**... and males are XY, then what is YYY?
Delilah.
Why do female prisoners never stay in jail for longer than 3 weeks?
Periods always mark the end of a sentence.
Why aren't there any female werewolves?
Because they all want to be mummies
What did the Female American Buffalo say to her her male offspring when he left?
Bison
Did you know 10% of female deer like Mario?
It's one in ten doe
What do female potatoes use when they get their period?
Yampons.
