felon Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious felon puns

A homeless man is sitting in a bar

After a few drinks he begins speaking to a young lady. The homeless man mentions he feels it's unfair that he be homeless, seeing as he has a college degree.

Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?"

The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology and a French Minor. I think it's my felon status that prevents me from getting a job"

Intrigued, the young lady asks, "What landed you in jail?"

Taking a sip from his drink, the homeless man answers "The French minor."

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Homeless man strikes up a conversation with a lady

A homeless man starts speaking to a young lady in a bar one night. The homeless man mentions he feels it's unfair that he be homeless, seeing as he has a college degree.

Startled, the young lady asks, "Well, what did you study in college?"

The homeless man replies, "I had a major in Biotechnology and a French Minor. I think it's my felon status that prevents me from getting a job"

Intrigued, the young lady asks, "What landed you in jail?"

Taking a sip from his drink, the homeless man answers "The French minor."

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What do you call a convicted felon on an escalator?

I'm not sure, but I think it's con descending

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Did you hear about the Olympic gymnast that was a convicted felon?

He was always known for some assaults

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A criminal was pushed on to the ground

he *felon* his ass

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What do you call a felon climbing down a ladder saying he's better at it than you?

A condescending con-descending.

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If you are a midget and convicted felon on the run disguised as a psychic...

...you are a small medium at large.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven?

Because Seven is a convicted felon and it is clear that prison life wasn't easy on him. It doesn't help that Six is, naturally, a little timid.

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Felons would be a really valuable voting base...

After all, we know they have conviction.

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What do you call a snobby felon falling down the stairs?

A condescending condescending!

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Why did the felon have so much energy?

He was well arrested!

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What do you call a felon who enjoys getting zapped and has a go-to attitude?

A con-do-it!

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When filling out applications, "Are you a Felon?"

I want to say, "Not that I know of Mate. You heard anything?"

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What did the cop say to the cold felon?

You're gonna want to layer up

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Did you hear what happened to the criminal who walked too close to the edge of the hole?

He felon.

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The sitting POTUS is a felon.

Yup. That's all.

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What do you call a pretentious felon falling down a flight of stairs?

A condescending con descending

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I saw a business group's website praising a felon for finishing his studies.

I never thought I'd see a conglomerate congratulating a con graduating.

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I know, it's horrible, but I like it.

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My cellphone is a felon

Because It has been charged with battery

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When is a felony not a felony?

When you're a bank!

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Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?

A: A fund raiser.

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What's the name of that talk show host who's a former criminal?

Jimmy Felon?

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What's black and looks good on a lawyer?

An unconvicted felon.

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TIL Elon Musk has an evil twin that commits crimes every evening.

His name is Felon Dusk.

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I like to masturbate into other people's shoes.

I guess I'm gellin' like a felon.

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What are the most funny Felon jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Felon? Well, here are the best Felon dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Felon pick up lines to share with friends.

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