Fella Jokes

68 fella jokes and hilarious fella puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fella that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make your fella feel special with some hilarious jokes about yer fella, your pal, yer dawg, or even just whatcha. Check out these funny fella jokes that are sure to make him smile.

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Funniest Fella Short Jokes

Short fella jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fella humour may include short dude jokes also.

  1. "We're looking for a drug dealer," said the police officer, "and you fit the description we've been given." I said, "That was easy then. What can I get you fellas?"
  2. I ran over 2 Miles yesterday Such a coincidence that both unfortunate fellas had the same name.
  3. I just drove past a prison and noticed a short fella escaping by sliding down a rope hung from the prison wall... I thought, that's a little condescending.
  4. Ladies please stop asking Santa for the perfect man That fella has tried to kidnap me 4 times this week
  5. So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, "Why so angry, you cute little fella?"
    The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."
  6. What do you call a really, really quiet piece of meat? A shh-kebab.
    I love you too, fellas.
  7. The average horse weighs 1000lbs and has a 20 inch D. That's a ratio of 50lbs to 1 inch. So an average man weighing 200lbs only needs a 4 inch D to be hung like a horse.
    Be proud fellas
  8. Three penguins walk into a bar Three penguins walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Fellas! Who's getting married?!
  9. A fella asks his wife if he's the only one she's been with. "Yes. All the rest were nines or tens."
  10. Heard a Beach Boys song that sang, We could be married…And then we'd be happy… And I was like Whoa, fellas - you can't have it both ways.

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Fella One Liners

Which fella one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fella? I can suggest the ones about fellow and folks.

  1. Yesterday I spotted an albino Dalmatian it was the least i could do for the poor fella
  2. What do you call a fella who keeps on making puns until you feel suffocated? Pun-gent.
  3. I once had a brain eating amoeba the poor fella died of starvation
  4. I was talking to a guy about favourite numbers... He said his was 7. What an odd fella
  5. What do call a Hispanic fella that ran out of protein powder? No-whey Jose.
  6. What do you call those guys who cut down trees? Fellas
  7. What do you call 3 Irish tree surgeons? Tree fellas
  8. What do you call an Irish fella trying to break up a fight? Liam Malone
  9. Santa only comes once a year. Poor fella.
  10. My friend died of gluten yesterday The poor fella choked on the bread
  11. Word of advice fellas...
  12. Theresa May? More like Theresa GAY! Amirite fellas.
  13. Flame Broiler? More like Lame Broiler! Amirite fellas?
  14. My friend called me dyslexic... I told him that he's a smart fella.
  15. What did the frog say to the h**...? "Stribbit".
    Don't worry fellas, I know my way out.

Your Fella Jokes

Here is a list of funny your fella jokes and even better your fella puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Iron Man is sexist The fellas down at Marvel need to create an Iron Woman. She would use her super strength and agility to get even the toughest stains out of my office slacks.
  • Fellas, if your girl has some form of Polyethylene terephthalate in the shape of an equiangular quadrilateral with the hex code of ff0000 get out fast, that's a red flag.
    Credit to u/wcollins260
  • So a baby seal walks into a bar... and the barkeep says "What'll ya have little fella?" and the seal says "Anything but the Canadian club."
  • A cop, a cowboy, and a construction worker walk into a bar.... The bartender says "Hey fellas, the YMCA is down the street."
  • My wife gave me a mouse and a keyboard for my birthday. I learned to play "KLONKY DONKEY" on the keyboard and trained that little fella to dance.
  • My wife just put lipstick on. She only does this on special know what's next fellas..... We're going to church.
  • A fella walks into a pet shop... A fella walks into a pet shop and says: Give me a wasp. The shopkeeper replies: We don't sell wasps. He says: There's one in the window.
  • What's the difference between a handsome man and Ross from friends searching for a melon? One's a good looking fella and the other's a food looking Geller
  • My Grandad's joke: Hey, young fella! Want to see something swell? Hit your thumb with a hammer!
  • Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds? I feel bad for the poor fella.
Fella joke, Did you know someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds?

Delightful Fun Fella Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about fella you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bloke jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fella pranks.

Blind man walks into a bar..

He sits down, pint for him, shandy for the dog. The bar man asks him "So fella, what ya been up to recently?"
"Skydiving" said the blind man.
"Skydiving?!" said the barman astonished "How long have you been doing that now?"
"A few months now, did my first solo jump there last weekend."
"That's amazing." said the barman still astonished, "Tell me this though, how do you know you're getting near the ground?"
"Oh that's easy." says the blind man. "I wait for the dog's lead to go slack."


Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, when he said, "I don't know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. So, I'm stumped." His buddy said, "I have an idea. Why don't you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great s**..., any way she wants it. She'll probably be thrilled!" So the first fella did just that. The next day his buddy asked, "Well, did you take my suggestion? How did it turn out?" "She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling, 'I'll see you in two hours'."

Two Scottish guys discussing a wedding..

First guys asks "What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?"
Second fella says "A kilt of course!"
First fella "What's the tartin?"
"She's wearing white" says his pal

My buddy's first b**...

My buddy Matt walks into a bar goes up to the bartender and asks for 5 shots of whiskey.
Bartender looks wide eyed and says, "5 shots?! whats the occasion young fella?"
Matt says, "My first b**..."
Bartender replies, "First b**... eh? you know what? Ill give you a sixth shot, on the house. Congrats!"
Matt, disgusted, looks at the barkeep and says, "6?!?! Are you kidding? If 5 shots wont get the taste out of my mouth, I don't know what will!"

Fella rescued a damsel in distress.

Fella was heading home when he saw a lady beside the road with a flat tire. Being kind hearted, Fella stopped to change the tire for her. Lady was so thankful she invited Fella back to her place for a thank you drink. One thing lead to another and soon they were in the sack together. He realized the time and jumped up with a start. Running around getting his clothes on, he said, "What am I going to tell my wife?" "Wait, do you have any baby powder" he asked. "Certainly" she replied. He dusted his hands with the powder and headed home.
Walking in the door, he was greeted by his wife demanding to know where he had been. So he told her the truth, how he had stopped to change a woman's tire then wound up spending the afternoon in bed with her.
His wife looked at him for a moment, then grabbed his hands looking at them. She screamed at him, "You s**..., you spent the day playing pool again, didn't you?"

A blind man walks into a bar

A blind man walks into a bar, lead by his seeing-eye dog. He stops in the middle of the bar, picks the dog up, places it on his shoulders and proceeds to spin in circles. The bartender asks the man, "Hey fella, why are you spinning around with your dog like that, huh?" The blind man stops and says, "Oh, I'm just looking around."

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."
I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.
I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

2 Texans are bragging about how big their ranches are

The first guy says "Well I'll put it to you this way, I can get in my truck before sunrise, drive all day long, and by sundown I still haven't hit the other side of my spread."
The other fella looks down, spits, and says "Yeah, I used to have a truck like that"

A bear walks into a bar.

The bartender asks whata ya have there big fella? The bear says " Give me a" The bartender says" What's with the big pause?" The bear throws his arms up in the air and says " I DON'T KNOW I WAS BORN WITH THEM."

The condensed version...

A Phillipino, a Korean, a Chinese fella, a Burmese lady, and a Vietnamese guy all go to a nightclub. The doorman stops them and says, "I can't let you in without a Thai."

A guy notices a crowd of women at the end of the bar

Curious, he walks toward the end and sees an immensely ugly guy being hit on by several ladies. He sits next to another fella and asks "So, what's this guy's deal? Is he rich or famous?" "Dunno," says the other guy, "he just sits there l**... his eyebrows."


A man and a little boy go into the barber's.
The man has his hair done and then sits the little lad in the chair.
"Now wait here when your finished, I'm just off to do some shopping." says the man and leaves without paying.
Two hours later, the boy's still waiting, when the barber says, "I think your dad's forgotten you".
The little fella says, "He's not my dad, we just met outside and he asked me if I wanted a free haircut".

So, the little boy asks Santa for a baby sister this Xmas and Santa says: "No worries little fella, just send your mother over"

An old man in his 90's

is watching tv and a s**...
commercial comes on. After the ad the old fella realizes he has a s**.... He gets up and shuffles into the kitchen to show his wife. "MARTHA!!! MARTHA!!! Look at this. What should i do with it?" His wife looks up at him and replies," You might as well clean it now that you got the wrinkles out of it".

"Excuse me," asked a homeless fella, as I walked through the street with my son. "Have you got a cigarette I can smoke?"

"Afraid not," I replied.

"What about your kid?" he insisted.

"No, you can't smoke him either."

Detective Work

A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective. Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a h**.... After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist: "Who do you think committed the m**...?"
The urologist says "Listen, fella, I think you have the wrong number. I'm a doctor."
The detective says "Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?

Two guys at a yard sale are chatting, one says whatcha got there, pal?

Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap
What in the h**... would you need all that junk for?
He said I can use it to crack an egg
You're such a rube, Goldberg

A ventriloquist is telling Irish jokes in a pub...

... when an irate Irishman stands up: "You're making' out we're all dumb and s**.... I oughta punch you in the nose." "I'm sorry sir, I..." "Not you," says the Irishman, "I'm talking to that little fella on your knee."

Giovanni said to his daughter, "I no like-a that Irish boy taking you out-a. He is-a rough and common, and besides-a, he is-a a big-a dumbbell!"

"No, papa," replied the girl, "Tim is the cleverest fella I know." "Why-a you say-a that?" "We have only been dating nine weeks and he has already cured me of that little illness I used to get every month!"

A father's three daughters were heading out of the house to go on dates

The first daughter said, I'm going out with Joe, and we're gonna see a show
The father said, A fine fella! Have fun my dear
The second daughter said, I'm going out with Pete, and we're gonna grab a bite to eat
Sounds wonderful! Have fun my dear
The third daughter said, I'm going out with Chuck, and we're gonna—
Oh no no no you don't young lady!! You march right back upstairs this instant!

Bar Joke

A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
Our bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

What's the difference between a wise guy and a b**... sniffer?

One's a smart fella, the other is a f**... smella.

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.

One looks up and sees a f**... procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

The Hitman gets fired!

A very dumb fella wanted to be a Hitman for the Mafia. But he got fired after he failed miserably on his first job!
He burned his lips on the tailpipe of the car he was suppose to blow up!

A guy goes with his girlfriend to stay at her parents' house for the holidays

The couple live in the city and the parents live on a farm. The boyfriend is unused to the quiet country life and after a couple of days he's pretty bored. His girlfriend's father comes in and says Hey young fella if you're looking for something to do, why not take the dogs out for a bit of hunting? There's a shotgun behind the laundry door. Guy comes back a couple of hours later, the father says How was it?
That was amazing! Have you got any more dogs?

Fella joke, A guy goes with his girlfriend to stay at her parents' house for the holidays

jokes about fella