Confused, he approaches his daughter for an explanation of last night when he arrived home.
"You kicked in the door when you couldn't get your key in the lock, fell through the table and broke it, and pissed your pants."
"Jesus! So then why the hell is she in such a good mood?"
"When she tried to take your pants off to wash them, you slapped her hand away and said, 'Get your hands off me! I'm married!'"
But to others, it's a whole sentence
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
I rode on, ruthlessly.
He started counting and fell asleep.
She got knocked up, but she got down again.
Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"
I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.
To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home
I was so startled, I almost fell in.
He started counting but fell asleep.
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
None. "He fell".
...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...
yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
he started counting and fell asleep.
good thing it was in airplane mode.
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"
He started counting then fell asleep.
no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
He fell out the Windu.
Daughter 1: Dad, why did you name me Rose?
Dad: Because sweetie, a Rose petal fell on your head when you were born.
Daughter 2: Dad, why did you name me Lily?
Dad: Because sweetie, a Lily petal fell on your head when you were born.
Daughter 3: hghghdnbgh!!? dnbgh!??! nfhriirb!!? Jfjebdjhcb!!??!
Dad: SHUT THE FUCK UP CINDERBLOCK!
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,
Baa- dum- ssss
Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?
Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?
Dad: Shut up Cinderblock
... and bought a bottle of vodka, put it in the basket on the front. It then occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it right then and there, it's a good thing I did because I fell 6 times on the way home.
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
Girl: What?
Boy: When you fell from heaven.
Girl: Awwwwwwwwww. How did you know?
Boy: Your face looks fucked up.
Scared me so much I almost fell in.
Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
I fell right into the little tackers trap!
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fell? Well, here are the best Fell dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fell pick up lines to share with friends.