Fell Jokes
174 fell jokes and hilarious fell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fell Short Jokes
Short fell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fell humour may include short fall jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - Boss: You're 4 hours late! What's the matter? Employee: I fell from the 2nd floor this morning.
Boss: That's 20 feet tall! It shouldn't take you more than 5 seconds! - I had a gay friend in high school... ...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
- My kid came home and asked if I wanted to hear a dirty joke… He said: 2 pigs fell in the mud and three came out
- A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
- Joke of the day about blondes. Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D - My wife fell in love with me again during covid-19 I guess you could call it stuck-home syndrome
- I once asked a New Zealander how many girlfriends he's had. But he fell asleep while counting.
- I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped. He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
- *BOOM* Mom: what was that
Me: my shirt fell
Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that
Me: I was in it
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Fell One Liners
Which fell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fell? I can suggest the ones about felt and lettuce.
- Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
- My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike. I rode on, ruthlessly.
- A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff… Baa-Dumm-Tssssss….
- I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels She didn't know I existed
- The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in.
- My phone fell from the 20th floor, good thing it was in airplane mode.
- What would happen if a piano fell on top of you? You'd b-flat.
- How did Mace die? He fell out the Windu.
- A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,
- What do you call a wizard who fell down the stairs? Tumbledore
- I took a pole and found out that 100% of people were angry when the tent fell down.
- I knew a guy who fell into an industrial meat grinder He's fine now.
- My brother's daughter and I fell down on hard pavement My knees hurt
- A bald guy slipped in the shower Fell on his head and slipped again.
- What's blue and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A really fast apple.
Fell Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell love jokes and even better fell love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two red blood cells met and fell in love but alas, it was in vein.
- A woman and a dog once fell in love. He buried his bone in her backyard.
- Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!] She was Schwepped off her feet
- The anti pick-up line. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"
I'd love to hear some of yours. - 2 antennas met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible!
- I was in a relationship with Lorraine, but fell in love with Claire Lee. When Lorraine found out, she left me. Then I realized
I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine is gone. - Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distanced relationship
- My uncle just died. He fell into a vat of polish at the furniture factory.
It was a terrible end but a lovely finish. - An ice cube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. Bunsen... My flame...I melt whenever I see you," confessed the ice cube.
* Chill, it's just a phase you're going through. * - I fell in love with a female electrician She was a real live wire and i took her ohm with me
Fell Asleep Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell asleep jokes and even better fell asleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel.
- Why did the man who fell asleep in front of his PC got sick? Because the Windows were open.
- Bill Cosby's lawyer fell asleep during testimony... Apparently he and Bill had a lunch date earlier.
- My Gran fell asleep last night with a cigarette in her hand. That woman was the best thing since sliced bread. Now she's toast.
- I needed some white noise yesterday to go to sleep. So i recorded myself saying "All lives matter" and played it on repeat until i fell asleep.
- I fell asleep during surgery My patient unfortunately passed away
- In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep.
- I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party... and she woke up with more clothes on.
(Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke) - The shepherd woke up one afternoon... "Oh no! I fell asleep! I hope nobody stole my sheep.
Let's see 1, 2, *Zzzzzz*" - Why was the shepherd fired? He fell asleep during inventory
Why was the sheep girl fired?
She was sleeping with the shepherd too.
Fell Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell stairs jokes and even better fell stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs? none he fell
- A couple of geese fell down from the stairs. They got multiple goose bumps.
- Did you hear about M.C. Escher? Poor guy tripped and fell up the stairs
- So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
- How many cops does it take to beat up a light bulb? None. That light bulb fell down the stairs.
- My Irish grandfather once fell down two flights of stairs with a pint of whiskey and didn't spill a drop. The man knew how to keep his mouth shut.
- what do you call 5 guys who fell down the stairs? an ambulance
- My phone just fell down a flight of stairs... But it's ok, it was in my pocket.
- How many deputies did it take to push the inmate down the stairs? None, he fell.
I work as a Detention Deputy, and that's one of my favorite jokes to tell the inmates. - I once fell down 2 flights of stairs and hit my head I quickly realized it was a dream when I woke up safely in my hospital bed.
Cheeky Fell Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about fell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fare jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fell pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man has three daughters...
One of them goes up to him one day and says, "Daddy, why was I named Rose?" The dad replies, "Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head.
A second daughter asks him, "Daddy, why was I named Daisy?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell onto your head."
His last daughter says, "Guuuuaaaahuuugghhhhhppoakkk!" And the dad says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.
Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.
Bad News
Deep within a forest, a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort, he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again, while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've come to the conclusion that my s**... life s**....
I was m**... the other day, and my hand fell asleep.
My favorite pokemon joke
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
I said, "Did it hurt?"
She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.
A peeping tom fell out if a tree, where did he end up?
In the ICU
What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?
"I have only my shelf to blame"
Horror at the zoo
A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says
*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*
The man responds, *What happened?*
*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*
The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...
...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.
"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.
Stalin lit his pipe and replied:
"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."
My gay friend fell into the ocean
Good thing he's so flambuoyant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cow is talking to her three calves
The first calf asks "Why is my name Daisy?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a daisy fell onto your head, sweetie."
The second calf asks "Why is my name Rose?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a rose fell onto your head, dear."
The third calf says "Hargendflarfrebargen"
"Shut it, Cinderblock!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
f**...
Emily died last week after she fell in the lake.
It's a shame she never learned how to swim.
We brought a life preserver to her f**....
It's what she would have wanted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was a mother who had three daughters...
...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."
Met a girl in the park...
Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money.
Does it hurt anymore?
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"
My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well
I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish?
It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 little girls walk up to their father
The first little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you rose."
The second little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you Lily."
The third little girl says, "hurdddurflbbbbb dur."
and the dad says, "shut up Cinderblock."
Sean Connery was in his private library.
He was sat down reading a book when a large encyclopaedia fell and hit him on the head. "Ouch!" He said. "What was that? Who is responsible for this?" He then looked down at the book and noticed what it was. "Oh well" he said. "I guess I've only got myshelf to blame".
I heard this girl talking about how much she hates stalkers.
I nearly fell out of my tree.
I used to get sad when the leaves fell from the trees...
But then they always grew back, so that was a releaf.
Yo mama fell down...
The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today
Today my coworker fell into the reupholstering machine at work
don't worry, he's fully recovered
A woman goes to the doctor...
A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says
"Doctor, I don't fell so well."
And the doctor replied
"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
An old lady next to me on the airplane was scared by me being a muslim
I laughed so hard my grenades almost fell out of my pocket.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the black boy fall off his bike?
He didn't. He fell off your bike.
Two sisters
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
Did you hear about the man who fell into the lens making machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through.
A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
'What's up?' says the driver.
'Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,' says the policeman.
'Thank goodness for that,' says the driver. 'I thought I'd gone deaf.'
I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle.
It was so loud I nearly fell in.
My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine
she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands
When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
You're running around with other women, she charged.
You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!
It was my first day at a new school.
When I arrived, I wanted to make sure nobody would pick on me so I walked up to the captain of the football team and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious. From that day forward, everyone knew not to mess with the new principal.
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
i went to the liquor store on my bike.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle v**... and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick
Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA
So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
I went to the local liquor store on my bicycle the other day
I bought a nice bottle of scotch and put it in my basket.. I was afraid that if I fell over the bottle might break so instead of risking it I drank the bottle right there.
Turned out to be a smart thing to do because I must have fallen 12 times on my short way back home..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?
Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?
Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?
Dad: Shut up Cinderblock
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
One day, a child came up to her father and said, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
Later on, her younger sister came up to their father and asked, "Daddy, why was I named Lily?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a lily fell on your head."
Later, their brother came up to their father and said, "Ghigdsgjjo Hitsggdjkl."
He replied, "Shutup, Brick!"
How did the guy in Roblox die?
He fell through the r-OOF
Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.
One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand fell on your head. The next day goes brick and asks: gyefagcxheufrhd
I fell off of a 20 foot ladder today at work.
Thankfully I was on the bottom step.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hitlers s**...
One jewish man tells a joke to a woman, so he says:
"Why did h**... commit s**...?"
She said: "I don't know."
he replies:".... He saw the gas bill."
Then she said:"That's horrible! How could you say that!"
And he replies: "I'm sorry, I really shouldn't be joking about the holocaust. My great grandfather died in concentration camp."
The girl replies: "I'm so sorry to hear that."
And he says: "Yeah, it's sad, he fell off the guard tower."
A border patrol official comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump...
"Sir, because of the trauma of being separated from their parents, three Brazilian children fell deeply sick last night." Trump looks absolutely devastated. He sinks back in his chair, murmuring "oh my god" to himself over and over. Then he composes himself and says: "Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
What did the stick man say after he fell on his side?
ok
How many mobsters do you need to push a man off a cliff?
None. He slipped and fell by himself.
I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable
The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.
I'm not surprised Nike's stock fell after the Colin Kaepernick ad
They should have picked a more stand-up guy.
"Mom, before I was born did you want a boy or a girl?"
"I wanted to pickup a fork that fell on the kitchen floor..."
A man comes home drunk...
As he stumbles in trying to be quiet as possible not to wake up the wife...he's too drunk and knocks over a stool startling wife from sleep...
Wife, from bedroom: Bob, is that you? what was that ?
Bob: Oh nothing honey, just a stool. Be right there...
As he stumbles into the bedroom he falls over creating a loud CRASHHH
Wife: Bob? Are you OK? What was that sound???
Bob: Oh its nothing honey, i was just hanging my shirt and it fell.
Wife: How did your shirt make such a loud sound?
Bob: I was still wearing it
The rear view mirror fell out of my car a couple of months ago and I have never replaced it.
Haven't looked back since.
3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...
Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?
Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.
The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...
Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?
Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head
This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH
Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block
Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in.
Me: Thanks for reminding me.
A fellow was walking along a country road when he came upon a farmer working in his field. The man called out to the farmer "How long will it take me to get to the next town?"
The farmer didn't answer. The guy waited a bit and then started walking again. After the man had gone about a hundred yards, the farmer yelled out "About 20 minutes.
Thank you. But why didn't you tell me that when I asked you?"
Didn't know how fast you could walk".
