fell Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious fell puns

A man wakes up after a heavy night of drinking to his wife happily cooking breakfast.

Confused, he approaches his daughter for an explanation of last night when he arrived home.
"You kicked in the door when you couldn't get your key in the lock, fell through the table and broke it, and pissed your pants."
"Jesus! So then why the hell is she in such a good mood?"
"When she tried to take your pants off to wash them, you slapped her hand away and said, 'Get your hands off me! I'm married!'"

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Prison may be just one word

But to others, it's a whole sentence


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i went to the liquor store on my bike.

i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle vodka and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home

apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry

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My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike.

I rode on, ruthlessly.

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I asked my Welsh mate how many sexual partners he's had.

He started counting and fell asleep.

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TIL the lead singer of Chumbawumba is married to a champion breakdancer. She had to give up dancing when she fell pregnant but, only three months after giving birth, successfully defended her title at the World Championship.

She got knocked up, but she got down again.

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A lone sniper was just about to assassinate Donald Trump.

Just at the last moment, one of the President's bodyguards spotted him.
He immediately shouted "Mickey Mouse, Mickey Mouse"
A shot rang out and Trump fell dead.
As his aides gathered round the body, one of them asked the bodyguard why he had shouted "Mickey Mouse"
'I'm sorry" he said "I meant to shout "Donald, duck"

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I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...

I bought a bottle of Rum and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.

To avoid that, I drank all of the rum before I left the store.

It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home

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The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool.

I was so startled, I almost fell in.

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I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had.

He started counting but fell asleep.

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My mom dropped this one on me

Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"

I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.

Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."

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Got caught peeing in the pool

The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.

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How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None. "He fell".

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I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle vodka, put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...

...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...

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Met a beautiful girl down at the park today..

Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.

Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex right there and then.

God, I love my new Taser...

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My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this

yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up

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I asked my friend from New Zealand how many sexual partners he's had

he started counting and fell asleep.

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My phone fell from the 20th floor,

good thing it was in airplane mode.

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Two sisters

There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."

"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.

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Does it hurt anymore?

A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"

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I asked my Welsh friend how many times he'd had sex...

He started counting then fell asleep.

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Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell

no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

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I had a gay friend in high school...

...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.

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How did Mace die?

He fell out the Windu.

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A Father has three daughters..

Daughter 1: Dad, why did you name me Rose?

Dad: Because sweetie, a Rose petal fell on your head when you were born.

Daughter 2: Dad, why did you name me Lily?

Dad: Because sweetie, a Lily petal fell on your head when you were born.

Daughter 3: hghghdnbgh!!? dnbgh!??! nfhriirb!!? Jfjebdjhcb!!??!

Dad: SHUT THE FUCK UP CINDERBLOCK!

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My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.

Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.

Me: Oh, man thats terrible.

Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.

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A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!!

He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,

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A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff..

Baa- dum- ssss

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A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals.

Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.

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Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?

Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?

Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?

Dad: Shut up Cinderblock

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I went to the liquor store on my bike...

... and bought a bottle of vodka, put it in the basket on the front. It then occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it right then and there, it's a good thing I did because I fell 6 times on the way home.

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I just fell victim to a dad joke

Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.

Me: I don't know?

Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

Me: What about the glue?

Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.

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Boy to girl: So did it hurt?

Girl: What?

Boy: When you fell from heaven.

Girl: Awwwwwwwwww. How did you know?

Boy: Your face looks fucked up.

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I once got yelled at for peeing in a pool

Scared me so much I almost fell in.

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My 5 y/o cousins joke :)

Him:Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the stupid persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Him: It's the chicken!

I fell right into the little tackers trap!

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What are the most funny Fell jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Fell? Well, here are the best Fell dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Fell pick up lines to share with friends.

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