Fell Jokes
185 fell jokes and hilarious fell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Fell Short Jokes
Short fell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fell humour may include short fall jokes also.
- If a tree falls..... A tree falls in the forest but doesn't make a sound.
Hunter in camouflage gear: "WHAT THE HECK???!"
Tree: "I mean, AAAAAARGH, I fell!" - Boss: You're 4 hours late! What's the matter? Employee: I fell from the 2nd floor this morning.
Boss: That's 20 feet tall! It shouldn't take you more than 5 seconds! - How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None. "He fell".
- My 7 Year Old Cousin just told me this yo mamas so fat when she fell down no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up
- I had a gay friend in high school... ...who fell into a coma. We called him Tomato: he was a fruit and a vegetable.
- My kid came home and asked if I wanted to hear a dirty joke… He said: 2 pigs fell in the mud and three came out
- A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him.
- Joke of the day about blondes. Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D - My wife fell in love with me again during covid-19 I guess you could call it stuck-home syndrome
- I once asked a New Zealander how many girlfriends he's had. But he fell asleep while counting.
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Fell One Liners
Which fell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fell? I can suggest the ones about felt and lettuce.
- Prison may be just one word But to others, it's a whole sentence
- My girlfriend, Ruth, fell off the back of my bike. I rode on, ruthlessly.
- A sheep, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff… Baa-Dumm-Tssssss….
- I fell in love with a girl who only knew four vowels She didn't know I existed
- The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in.
- Got caught peeing in the pool The lifeguard shouted at me so loud, I nearly fell in.
- My phone fell from the 20th floor, good thing it was in airplane mode.
- Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
- What would happen if a piano fell on top of you? You'd b-flat.
- How did Mace die? He fell out the Windu.
- A man died today when a pile of books fell on him.!!! He only had his shelf to blame.,,,,
- A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff.. Baa- dum- ssss
- I once got yelled at for peeing in a pool Scared me so much I almost fell in.
- How many cops does it take to throw a black guy down the stairs? None. He fell.
- What do you call a wizard who fell down the stairs? Tumbledore
Fell Love Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell love jokes and even better fell love puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two red blood cells met and fell in love but alas, it was in vein.
- Two antenna met on a roof... fell in love and got married. The wedding wasn't much but the reception was *excellent*.
- A woman and a dog once fell in love. He buried his bone in her backyard.
- Did you hear about the lady who fell in love with a ginger ale salesman? [original!] She was Schwepped off her feet
- The anti pick-up line. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? [pause while smiling] Because it looks like you landed on your face"
I'd love to hear some of yours. - 2 antennas met on a roof. They fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible!
- I was in a relationship with Lorraine, but fell in love with Claire Lee. When Lorraine found out, she left me. Then I realized
I can see Claire Lee now Lorraine is gone. - Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distanced relationship
- Two antennas fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
- My uncle just died. He fell into a vat of polish at the furniture factory.
It was a terrible end but a lovely finish.
Fell Asleep Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell asleep jokes and even better fell asleep puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My hamster died... He fell asleep at the wheel.
- Why did the man who fell asleep in front of his PC got sick? Because the Windows were open.
- Bill Cosby's lawyer fell asleep during testimony... Apparently he and Bill had a lunch date earlier.
- My Gran fell asleep last night with a cigarette in her hand. That woman was the best thing since sliced bread. Now she's toast.
- I needed some white noise yesterday to go to sleep. So i recorded myself saying "All lives matter" and played it on repeat until i fell asleep.
- I fell asleep during surgery My patient unfortunately passed away
- I asked my Welsh friend how many partners he's had in his life... he started to count and he fell asleep.
- In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep.
- I knew a girl so ugly, she fell asleep at a frat party... and she woke up with more clothes on.
(Stolen from Big Bang theory, I just love this joke) - Did you hear about the hamster who died? He fell asleep at the wheel
Fell Stairs Jokes
Here is a list of funny fell stairs jokes and even better fell stairs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many cops does it take to push a minority down the stairs? None, "He fell"
- how many corrections officers does it take to throw an inmate down the stairs? none he fell
- A couple of geese fell down from the stairs. They got multiple goose bumps.
- How many prison guards does it take to throw an inmate down a flight of stairs? None, he fell.
- Did you hear about M.C. Escher? Poor guy tripped and fell up the stairs
- How many prison guards does it take to push an inmate down the stairs? None, he fell.
- So I just fell down the stairs holding a guitar... and accidentally wrote a One Direction song.
- How many cops does it take to beat up a light bulb? None. That light bulb fell down the stairs.
- How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, reports say he fell
- So 3, 4, and 5 fell down a flight of stairs... Now they're a Pythagorean cripple.
Tripped Fell Jokes
Here is a list of funny tripped fell jokes and even better tripped fell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I tripped and fell while mountain-climbing... It all went down hill from there.
- A friend tried to trip me up in an Indian restaurant, failed, and fell face first in to someone's mild chicken dish. I call it instant korma.
I don't care if you like it, I can tikka or leave it. - How did M.C. Escher die? He tripped and fell up the stairs
- I once went on a school trip to a coffee factory. We were having a guided tour around the production line but sadly one of my friends fell into the coffee grinder and died.
Luckily it was instant. - I was running a marathon. I was in first place and could see the finish line. I tripped and fell and now all I see is... De feet
- Sweetheart, I didn't just fall for you. I fell because of you.
Stop tripping me. - What happened to the guy after he tripped? broccoli fell out of his pocket.
- A thief tripped and fell into wet cement... He became a hardened criminal.
- What would a horse say if it tripped and fell over? Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy-up!
- phsyically implausible excuses i cant make it today i drove over my car keys
sorry i was late when i was walking over i tripped fell and accidently hung myself
Cheeky Fell Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about fell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fare jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fell pranks.
A man has three daughters...
One of them goes up to him one day and says, "Daddy, why was I named Rose?" The dad replies, "Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head.
A second daughter asks him, "Daddy, why was I named Daisy?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell onto your head."
His last daughter says, "Guuuuaaaahuuugghhhhhppoakkk!" And the dad says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"
I recently started dating a woman in a wheelchair, and I stood her up.
Not surprisingly that's when she fell for me...and you know what, it became a bit of a drag...but now we're on a roll.
My favorite pokemon joke
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
I said, "Did it hurt?"
She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.
What's big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and if it fell from a tree it would kill you?
A pool table.
I knew a guy who fell into an industrial meat grinder
He's fine now.
What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?
"I have only my shelf to blame"
Why could no one hear Helen Keller cry for help when she fell off a bridge?
She was wearing mittens
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
My manly password
My wife and I were trying to set up a new password for our computer.
Trying to be clever, I put "Mypenis" and my wife fell to the ground laughing hysterically because on the screen it said:
**"Error. Not long enough."**
My dad is German and dropped this one on me the other day.
Dad: I never told you this but, my great grandfather died in the holocaust.
Me: Oh, man thats terrible.
Dad: Yeah, he got really drunk one night and fell off of the guard tower.
Stalin and Roosevelt were arguing over whose bodyguards were more loyal...
...and ordered them to jump out of the window on the fifteenth floor. Roosevelt's bodyguard flatly refused to jump, saying "I'm thinking about the future of my family." Stalin's bodyguard, however, jumped out of the window and fell to his death. Roosevelt was taken aback.
"Tell me, why did your man do that?" he asked.
Stalin lit his pipe and replied:
"He was thinking about the future of his family, too."
I got caught peeing in the pool the other day
The lifeguard yelled at me so loud that I almost fell in.
My gay friend fell into the ocean
Good thing he's so flambuoyant.
A cow is talking to her three calves
The first calf asks "Why is my name Daisy?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a daisy fell onto your head, sweetie."
The second calf asks "Why is my name Rose?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a rose fell onto your head, dear."
The third calf says "Hargendflarfrebargen"
"Shut it, Cinderblock!"
f**...
Emily died last week after she fell in the lake.
It's a shame she never learned how to swim.
We brought a life preserver to her f**....
It's what she would have wanted.
There was a mother who had three daughters...
...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."
Why do scuba divers fall backwards off the boat?
Because if they fell forward they'd still be on the boat. :D
Met a girl in the park...
Met a girl in the park last night and there was an instant spark between us, a definite connection, she fell at my feet.
These taser guns are well worth the money.
Does it hurt anymore?
A woman playing Golf hit a man nearby. He put his hands together between his legs. Fell on the ground & rolled around in pain. She rushed to him & offered to relieve his pain as she was a Doctor.
Reluctantly he agreed.
She gently took his hands away. Unzipped his pants & put her hands inside.
She massaged him tenderly for a few minutes & asked: "How does it feel?"
He replied: "Feels great but I still think my thumb is broken"
My Mother in Law fell down a wishing well
I was amazed. I never knew they worked.
There were two sisters
There were two sisters named Petal and Fridge.
One day Petal was curious and asked her father, "Why was I named Petal?"
His response was, "Well, when you were a baby a flower petal fell on you."
Then Fridge says, "BLARGHHHALHGLAHG".
Did you hear about the woodworker who died when he fell into a vat of varnish?
It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.
3 little girls walk up to their father
The first little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you rose."
The second little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you Lily."
The third little girl says, "hurdddurflbbbbb dur."
and the dad says, "shut up Cinderblock."
I asked my Welsh friend how many times he'd had s**......
He started counting then fell asleep.
My mom dropped this one on me
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
Yo mama fell down...
The physicists discovered Gravitational waves today
A woman goes to the doctor...
A woman goes to the doctor with a raspberry in her left nostril, a string bean in her right, a carrot in her right ear and a banana in her left. The woman says
"Doctor, I don't fell so well."
And the doctor replied
"Well for one thing, you're *definitely* not eating correctly."
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many s**... partners he'd had.
He started counting but fell asleep.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Me: Why?
Him: To get to the s**... persons house.
Me: *voluntary laugh as older cousin*
Him: Knock knock.
Me: Who's there?
Him: It's the chicken!
I heard the kid who fell into the gorilla pit was actually trying to get the jewelry his mother dropped.
He didn't get the gold but he got the silver back.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today..
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today.
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having s**... right there and then.
God, I love my new Taser...
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
Two sisters
There were once two sisters, one called Petal and one called Fridge. One day, Petal asks her parents, "Why did you call me Petal?" and they replied "Because just after you were born, a petal fell on you."
"Bllaaarrarararraraaarg", says Fridge from the corner.
Did you hear about the man who fell into the lens making machine?
He made a spectacle of himself.
I asked my Welsh mate how many s**... partners he's had.
He started counting and fell asleep.
Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floor?
It was just a stage he was going through.
*BOOM*
Mom: what was that
Me: my shirt fell
Mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that
Me: I was in it
A policeman on a motorcycle pulls over a car.
'What's up?' says the driver.
'Your wife fell out the passenger door three miles back,' says the policeman.
'Thank goodness for that,' says the driver. 'I thought I'd gone deaf.'
I went to the liquor store on my bike the other day to get some v**...
But I was afraid that I would fall of my bike on my way home and break the bottle, so I drank the entire bottle before I went home. Which ended up being a good thing since I fell of my bike 7 times on my way home
I was having a quick wee in the deep end of the swimming pool when the lifeguard blew his whistle.
It was so loud I nearly fell in.
My mother-in-law fell down our well last week but she is fine
she stopped crying for help 2 days ago
I slipped and fell on black ice.
I thought it was regular ice but when i got up my wallet was gone.
I rode to the liquor store yesterday on my bicycle...
I bought a bottle of r**... and put it in the bicycle basket.
As I was about to leave I thought for a moment. If I fall off the bicycle, the bottle might break.
To avoid that, I drank all of the r**... before I left the store.
It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off the bike seven times on my way home
What did the blanket say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet
It was my first day at a new school.
When I arrived, I wanted to make sure nobody would pick on me so I walked up to the captain of the football team and punched him in the face. He fell to the ground, unconscious. From that day forward, everyone knew not to mess with the new principal.
I just fell victim to a dad joke
Dad: What do you get when you cross a tuna, a piano, and glue.
Me: I don't know?
Dad: You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
Me: What about the glue?
Dad: I knew you would get stuck on that part.
i went to the liquor store on my bike.
i went to the liquor store on my bike and bought a bottle v**... and put it in the basket on the front...then it occoured to me that if i fall or something happens then the bottle might break. so i drank it all right there and its a good thing i did cause i fell 7 times on the way home
apparently this was posted before...i had no idea. a friend sent me a voice recording of someone telling it and i posted it ..sorry
Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn't the other?
He was a little more on.
There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick
Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA
So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
I went to the local liquor store on my bicycle the other day
I bought a nice bottle of scotch and put it in my basket.. I was afraid that if I fell over the bottle might break so instead of risking it I drank the bottle right there.
Turned out to be a smart thing to do because I must have fallen 12 times on my short way back home..
A bald guy slipped in the shower
Fell on his head and slipped again.
Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?
Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?
Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?
Dad: Shut up Cinderblock
How did the guy in Roblox die?
He fell through the r-OOF
I met a beautiful girl down at the park today
Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we wound up having s**... right then and there!
Gosh I love my new taser
Officer: Sir your wife fell out of your car about a mile back!
Man: Thankyou for telling me officer! I thought I had gone deaf!
I went to the liquor store on my bicycle and bought a bottle v**..., put it in the basket on the front and then it occurred to me that if I fall or something happens, the bottle might break, so I drank it all right there and it's a good thing I did...
...'cause I fell 7 times on the way home...
How many mobsters do you need to push a man off a cliff?
None. He slipped and fell by himself.
I went with my kids for a swim in the public kids pool and apparently adults peeing in a pool is not entirely unnoticeable
The lifeguard yelled so loud at me I almost fell in the water.
