Feet Announcer Jokes
13 feet announcer jokes and hilarious feet announcer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feet announcer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Feet Announcer Short Jokes
Short feet announcer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feet announcer humour may include short announcer jokes also.
- The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
- After a long emotional struggle, my three feet tall uncle finally announced that he is gay. I'm glad that he decided to come out of the cabinet.
Share These Feet Announcer Jokes With Friends
Witty Feet Announcer Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about feet announcer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean huge feet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feet announcer pranks.
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "Typical blonde! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a plane crashing down...
On the plane are The President of the United States, The British Prime Minister, the smartest man in the world, a priest and a boy scout. The pilot announces over the intercom: "People, we regret to inform you that we are going to c**.... Fortunately, there are 6 parachutes available."
Before anyone can respond, the pilot and copilot dash out of the cabin, each grabs a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The 5 passengers look at each other, realize there's only 4 parachutes left, then make a mad dash for them. A giant fight ensues as everyone struggles to grab a parachute.
The President snags one and declares, "I *must* live! I'm the President of the United States!" before jumping out of the plane.
The Prime Minister grabs a c**... and yells, "*I* must live! I'm the Prime Minister!"
The Smartest Man in the World and the boy scout get into a tussle, ending with the Smartest Man in the World shoving the boy scout to the floor. Hugging the parachute to his chest he yells, "I'm the Smartest Man in the World! It is imperative that I survive!" and leaps out the door.
The priest helps the boy scout to his feet. "You go ahead, son," he says, "Take the last parachute. I've made my peace."
"We can each have one, father," The boy scout says, shaking his head, "The Smartest Man in the World took my backpack."
Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder."
The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her pocketbook, took a measurement, announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away.
One engineer shook his head and laughed, "A lot of good that does us. We ask for the height and she gives us the length!"
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.
Ray and Bob, two government maintenance guys
were standing at the base of a flagpole looking up. A woman walks by and asked what they are doing.
We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole said Bob, But we don't have a ladder.
The woman said, Hand me that wrench out of your toolbox. She loosened a few bolts and then laid the flagpole down.
She then took a tape measure from their toolbox, took a measurement and announced, Eighteen feet and three inches and walked away.
Ray shook his head and laughed, Well ain't that just like a 'Miss-know-it-all' woman? he said, We need the height and she gives us the length!
Ray and Bob are still working for the government. But now they're congressmen.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living.
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did
for a living.
"Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?"
Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a w**...."
The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography.
Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.
Billy's father replied, "Well, I'm really an attorney. But how do you explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old child?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Russian foodie joke
A guy sitting in a restaurant in Moscow orders quail. When it arrives, using two spoons he carefully opens and peers into the rear of bird and announces, "This is not a quail. It is a simple chicken: born in Saint Petersburg, age: 3 years. Please, waiter, bring me a quail!"
Each subsequent delivery of fowl by the waiter is settled by the mysterious diner in the same manner: two spoons, a quick inspection, followed by an indubitable declaration: Kiev, 2 years; Minsk, 4 years; Volgograd, 5 years!
Meanwhile, a local is seated in the corner table, drinking v**... freely, inscrutable, and privy to the entire quail affair. Slowly, he rises to his feet, acquires an unsteady but adequate balance, makes his way to the mysterious diner's table, turns, drops his pants, and plaintively asks, "My droog, please help me! I orphan! How many years I have? And where I am born???"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Greeks versus the French.
A Greek and a Frenchman sit down at the same bar one evening, and after a few rounds of beer, they begin amicably chatting, first about the occasional state of things in their respective countries.
Eventually as the night progresses they descend into debating which country has done the most for the rest of the world and, naturally, slide into sniping back and forth into ever greater and more magnanimous gestures toward the end.
At last, the Greek shoves up to his feet and announces before the rest of the bar, "My people invented s**...!"
Stunned silence descends upon the environment at this, and for several seconds the Frenchman gives it some thought, before smiling and nodding his head and then answering,
"And mine introduced it to women."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
THE MAN of the Italian house
Anthony had just finished reading a new book entitled, _You Can Be THE MAN of Your House._
Inspired, he stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, "From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You'll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you'll serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, we're going upstairs and we'll have the kind of s**... that I want. Afterwards, you're going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You'll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you'll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied, "The f**...' f**... director would be my first guess"
Jesus and Moses decide to go fishing
Both sitting in a little boat, in the middle of the most beautiful lake in heaven, they start reminiscing about their days on earth. Back on earth, I once stood on the shore, raised my arms and the sea opened up so I could walk across
You think you can still do that? Asked Jesus.
Moses thought a bit, pulled in their lines and started rowing back to shore where jumped out, stood at the shoreline, raised his arms and sure enough the waters parted, as he lowered his arms the lake returned to normal. Both were impressed and they got back in their boat and headed back to the middle of the lake when Jesus remembered, You know, when I was on earth I could actually walk ON the water.
Moses grinned and said, You should try it here!
So Jesus swings his feet over the side of the boat, plants his feet, stands up aaaand immediately slips under the water. Quickly, Moses drags him back into to the boat and through tears of laughter announces, I knew you couldn't do it! Look at those holes on your feet!