The Best 24 Fees Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Fees jokes. There are some fees investment jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these fees boomers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Fees Jokes and Puns

A woman was arrested for bringing her own popcorn, candy, and soda to the movie theater.

She was fined and had to pay court fees, but the good news is she still came out a few bucks ahead from if she would have bought the popcorn at the theater.

I heard the Pope's first choice for a guest was in fact Hillary...

But he couldn't afford her speaking fees

I've heard that U2 has never paid legal any legal fees

Their lawyers all work pro-Bono.

I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious.

I've no idea what kind of fees she's charging him.

Netflix's new subscription fees are so high I've had to stop paying the heating bill,

Brings a whole new meaning to Netflix and chill…

First time in Vegas

I stayed for one night. Checked out in the morning, the bill was $250, and they had added resort fees, and I asked what the heck is that for?! She said the hotel had a pool and internet here and available for use. I said I didnt even use them! She said Well they were here and available and you could've used them.
So I just wrote out a check, but made it out for $50 and handed it to her. She said: Sir this check is for only $50.
I said That's right! I charged you $200 for sleeping with me.
But I didn't! she said.
I said: Well I was here and available, and you could have!

America is a free country!

Shipping fees not included.

Fees joke, America is a free country!

Valentines special! $500.00

We arrest you in front of your wife and release you on Sunday.
It includes fishing license, poles, boat fees, tent, beers and all necessities for the whole weekend.
We come in full police uniforms and blue lights.

TicketMaster was just fined $10 million for hacking into a competitor

At least they were told it would be $10 million, but when they went on the court's website to pay the fine, the site tacked on a bunch of "processing fees" and "venue charges" and the total came out to more like $15 million.

I wish prostitutes would learn a lesson from eBay

...and do away with insertion fees.

Calculator app

My 12-year-old daughter made this up.

She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.

You can explore fees fee reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean fees charge dad jokes. There are also fees puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why should you always bring money to LBGT pride parades?

Trans-action fees

What kind of pictures does Shaun Connery take?

Shelfies

alt. What kind of pictures do fish take?

Shellfies

alt. What do hermit crabs call their utility bills?

Shell Fees

alt. Why did my wife leave me?

Herpes

How do duck lawyers charge their fees?

Bill-able hours

I tried to put up a photo of myself on eBay...

But there were too many sale fees

Never fall for offers of a free boat..

They'll always get you with the shipping fees

Fees joke, Never fall for offers of a free boat..

What does Verizon wireless and abortion clinics have in common?

They both have early termination fees

I couldn't come up with names so...

Person 1: Did you know that there's a secret menu at that burger place?

Person 2: No, tell me about it.

Person 1: The most secret is a burger. This burger is so hardcore that it qualifies as breakfast, lunch and dinner for 7 people, for 7 years. And if you finish it in under an hour, they'll pay.

Person 2: For the burger?

Person 1: No your hospital fees.

"my husband committed fraud by creating a ponzi scheme so I am going to engage in frivolous lawsuits to try to pay for his legal fees....."

Arts>Science

Just realised arts students can now pay for their college fees... if they specialise in electronics as well.

Lawyer Joke

* A lawyer is meeting with his client after a negotiation fell through. The lawyer says "so I've got some good news and some bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
*The client says "I guess good news first."
*The lawyer responded "the negotiations fell through and we need to go to trial. This'll probably take years and cost you thousands in attorney's fees."
*"So wait, what's the good news."
*"Wait, did I say there was bad news?"

Why did the Jew refuse to pay his banking fees?

He didn't like the hollow cost.

I recently came into a large sum of money

Most of which was used to pay my court fees for when I was charged with jacking off in a bank vault.

What do you call tuition and fees at the University of Alabama?

toll ride

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the fees cost puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working fees payment piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes