Feeling Blue Jokes
44 feeling blue jokes and hilarious feeling blue puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feeling blue that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Feeling Blue Short Jokes
Short feeling blue jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feeling blue humour may include short colour blue jokes also.
- Seasick jokes What do armed forces at sea feel when depressed?
The Navy blues
What part of the Mac's desktop would seafarers miss when at sea for a loooong time?
The Dock
- I never write in blue ink. As a black writes activist I feel that it's important not to.
- Why do you become a smurf every time you are sad? Because you're feeling blue.
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Feeling Blue One Liners
Which feeling blue one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feeling blue? I can suggest the ones about feeling poorly and feeling cold.
- Roses are red, I'm feeling blue There's one less gorilla at the Cincinnati Zoo
- Why is the sky blue? No one bothers to ask how it's feeling.
- What fruit always feels depressed? A blue-berry
- Why did Purple hate Red? Because she left him feeling Blue
- I have an oxygen addiction I tried to quit, but after a few minutes I was feeling blue.
- Why did the light beam feel so blue? Because it was chromatized
- Whenever I feel blue I start breathing again.
- Why was the electoral map feeling down? It wasn't, it was feeling blue.
- Why can't zombies play the blues? Just feels like they don't put their soul in to it.
- Why was red sad? Because he was feeling blue
- Is the sky blue? No... because it has no feelings
- What do you do when you're feeling blue? Breathe
- Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too.
- I asked Papa Smurf if he was sad He replied, "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit blue."
- Feeling blue? Wololo.
Feeling Blue Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about feeling blue you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean feeling sick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feeling blue pranks.
Drunk people are always fascinating
A drunken man was wondering around the parking lot of a bar, bumping into every car and then rubbing the roofs of the cars.
The manager comes out of the bar and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? " he asks the drunk.
"I'm looking for my car, and I can't find it. "
"So how does feeling the roof help you? " He asked the drunk.
"Well," the drunk replied. "MY car has two blue lights and a siren on the roof!! "
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him...
So he walks into a bar.
The bartender asks "Why are you looking so blue?"
The man replies "I just found out my wife is cheating on me. I've decided I'm going to drink myself to death. I'll have some whiskey please."
The bartender looks shocked and says "I'm sorry, but I can't help you kill yourself."
The man asks "Well what would you do in my situation?"
The bartender thinks for a bit and says "If I found out a guy was sleeping with my wife I wouldn't sit around feeling sorry for myself, I'd kill the guy."
The man jumps up from his stool and shouts "That's a great idea! Thanks!" and runs out of the bar.
A couple hours goes by and the bartender is starting to get nervous. Suddenly the man walks back into the bar with a big smile on his face.
"Did you kill the guy?" The bartender asks nervously.
"Nope! I slept with your wife. Whiskey please."
My wife just hit me with this after someone said I'm feeling blue on a TV show we were watching
Do you think people who say they're feeling blue are really down or is it just a pigment of their imagination?
Anti jokes
What smells like blue paint?
Red paint
What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer?
We're both lawyers
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead
Feel free to share some anti jokes in the comments i'd love to hear some more
Walked into a dry cleaners the other day and I was amazed.
The chap behind the counter had fluorescent blue gel like hands. To my further amazement, he was using them as detergent on the clothes.
I said, excuse me sir, may I ask you to hold my bag whilst I take a photo of your appendages?! I feel like the internet would be amazed at this
He said I can't sorry, my hands are tide
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ain't therapy great?
He yawns, but doesn't seem bored,
If you think of his bill, you are poor,
If you're feeling blue,
and want to get s**...,
"The r**..." -it's there on his door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I am going to use black and blue markers
because y'all are going to feel beaten up after this section.
~My Math Professor
A man went to the doctor this morning as he hadn't been feeling well.
The doctor examined him, left the room and came back with three different bottles of pills.
He said, Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red capsule with another big glass of water.
Afraid that he was suffering from a deadly disease, the man stammered, By God, Doc, what's my problem?
The doctor said, You're not drinking enough water.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde and a brunette are out shopping one day
And they happen to see the brunette's boyfriend buying flowers. The brunette says, "Aww man. He's out buying me flowers again. Sigh, this s**...." The blonde replies, "What's the matter? I thought you liked flowers? Last time you said it was a nice, thoughtful, out-of-the-blue gesture?" "Oh no, that's not the problem. I just hate feeling obligated after to have my legs up in the air for a few days because of it." The blonde asks, "Don't you have a vase?"
The Sleeping Scotsman
A Scotsman decides one day he'd pass the time by walking the countryside. After a couple of hours, he comes to the top of a hill and sees a road down below him.
"I don't remember there being a road here. I must be more lost than I thought!"
Before trying to trek his way back home, however, he decides to take a rest under a nearby tree.
Meanwhile, a woman driving on the road below sees the sleeping Scotsman and asked herself life's biggest question: "*Do* the Scottish wear anything under their kilts?" Curiosity getting the better of her, she pulls her car over to the side of the road and sneaks her way up to the sleeping Scotsman. She carefully picks up the front of the Scotsman's kilt and sees, in fact, they do not wear anything underneath. Feeling embarrassed and guilty, the woman sees some nearby stakes in the ground with red and blue ribbons tied to the tops of them, being used as markers for a nearby construction site. The woman takes one of these ribbons and ties it snuggly to the Scotsman's wiener to signify that someone was there.
Later, the Scotsman awakes and feels a tug under his kilt. He lifts it up and sees a blue ribbon tied tight around his piece. Upon seeing this, the Scotsman shouts:
"I don't know where ye been or what ye did, but you won first prize!"
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn’t been feeling well.
The doctor examins him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what’s my problem?"
The Doctor says, "You’re not drinking enough water."