Feelin Jokes
105 feelin jokes and hilarious feelin puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feelin that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Feelin Short Jokes
Short feelin jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feelin humour may include short doc jokes also.
- I used to do this impression where I was a blind anaesthetist; stopped 'cause the audience wasn't feelin' it and I couldn't see the point.
- Best response by a nursing home patient ever. I asked my patient, "how ya feelin today"?
He whispers while still half asleep, "with my fingers." - There was this blind man right, he was feelin his way down the street with his stick right, he walks past the fish market, took a deep breath and said... phew,
Good morning ladies - What's Clint Eastwood's favourite line to use when hunting skunks? You feelin' lucky, skunk?
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Feelin One Liners
Which feelin one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feelin? I can suggest the ones about urologist and fever.
- Where do cats stand when they want to buy a train ticket? In the FEE-line.
- Where do cats pay their registration? In the feeline :)
- What do you call a non-religious Urologist? An apostate feelin' your prostate.
- Where does a horsey go when he's feelin a little tipsy? The stable.
- Why did Hillary go to the OB/GYN? She was feelin' the Bern!
- Why did the liberal go to the gynecologist? She was feelin' the Bern!

Fun-Filled Feelin Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about feelin you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean experience jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feelin pranks.
I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.
It improved my outlook.
here lately i've been feeling a void in my life...
it's probably nothing.
I've been feeling down all evening...
I think my duvet has split.
I'm feeling more attracted to you lately.
Have you put on weight?
Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day?
There's a nap for that!
You know that feeling of shame, when you put it in the wrong hole? You wonder why it doesn't fit, and when you look down you just get sad.
I'm talking about belts, of course.
What did you think!?
At first i was feeling a little grumpy,
Then I was feeling happy, then a little sleepy and finally a little bashful.
I am no longer welcome at my daughters school play of Snow white and the 7 dwarfs
I was feeling depressed. .
I was feeling depressed so I went to the doctor to get a blood test.
A week later he called me back with the results and said B positive, it's in your blood.
When you're feeling down, just remember...
you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year.
Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors...
I find it's a really great place to reflect.
I was feeling under the weather...
so i got on a plane.
If you ever feeling worthless,
just remember that Gotham City has a police department.
There's no better feeling than laying next to the person you love
And they don't know you love them
Or that you're in their house again
I was feeling down the other day, so I threw some bleach over my Muslim friend...
I thought it'd lighten Mahmood.
I am really feeling like a bicycle today.
Too tired!
When you're feeling bored and unsatisfied with life, just remember...
That there are some people who think Golf is interesting.
When I'm feeling down.
I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio
If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry,
most likely it's your kid.
DJ vu.
The feeling you get when you've heard the same music in a club before.
Anyone else get the feeling their being watched?
NSA: They're.
Feeling down?
Try necromancy, it's sure to... raise your spirits.
If you're feeling lonely, dim the lights and watch a good horror movie.
By the end of it, you won't feel like you're alone anymore.
My SO was feeling down today..
G: I feel fat when i look in the mirror, can you compliment me to make me feel better?
B: You have great eyesight.
You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way?
It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane.
I was feeling depressed, so I drank some brandy and went to the gym
That really lifted my spirits
I am feeling very optimistic.
But I bet it won't last.
If you're feeling down today....
Just know that earlier I took a two hour course online about why you should NEVER leave your Common Access Card unattended,
And then accidentally left it in the computer after I was done.
I've been feeling really dizzy since yesterday
I think I need to stop these New Year revolutions.
I'm feeling like a country
Hungary
Do you ever get that feeling like your being watched?
'Cause if it's bothering you I'll stop.
*Edit*: It's supposed to be you're. I'm know I'm s**.... You can stop telling me.
I have a feeling Gordon Ramsay likes to wear condoms when he has s**...
Because he doesn't like it raw.
Are you feeling okay?
(My attempt at a joke)
Person 1: You feeling okay?
Person 2: If I touch you and your name is okay will I be feeling okay?
Person 1: But my name isn't okay...
Person 2: Oh I'm sorry
I'm feeling very left out…
Even the CIA doesn't want anything to do with my Windows phone.
If you're feeling cold you should go to the corner...
because it's *90 degrees*
I was feeling confused, and I needed answers. I needed to just ask the things that have been bothering me to someone.
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have used the Ouija board.
If your ever feeling like you can't achieve something, just remember...
Today, amy winehouse is six years clean.
One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you...
Unless you're in prison.
I'm feeling really old lately...
I haven't had s**... with a priest in 25 years
Was feeling pretty down in the dumps earlier and tried hanging myself with bungee cords
Kept almost dying
When I'm feeling shy, I like to think about my pet rock...
It always inspires me to be a little boulder.
If you still had feelings for your exes and didn't know what to do..
Does that mean that you are in exes-tential crisis?
I was feeling bad about the future, but then I updated my Microsoft Office.
It improved my Outlook.
Not feeling creative?
Open up a gym membership and see how many excuses you can come up with not to go.
I was feeling lonely, so I bought some stocks...
It's nice with a little bit of company.
Found this on a "toilet paper" at my college.
I have a feeling my wife would have liked Jesus.
Rose from the dead and first thing he did was to fold his bedclothes.
I've been feeling really stressed lately, so my doctor advised me that before going to bed, I should drink two glasses of red wine, after a hot bath, but to be honest, it's not really helping at all...
...I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother,
But then I realized that she was from Alabama.
I was feeling Cold last night
Apparently Cold has now joined the #metoo movement and I am now facing charges.
The best feeling in the world is waking up realizing that you don't have to deal with the repercussions of what you did in your dreams...
That is until my wife wakes up and I have to deal with the repercussions of what I did in HER dreams
I am feeling grateful Jesus died for us on the cross.
It brought us two public holidays.
I was feeling really down the other day so decided to give myself a coffee e**...
It worked a treat, but the manager of Starbucks was livid.
I know the feeling...
An auto mechanic in the hospital was chatting nervously with his surgeon while being prepped for an operation. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone into your line of work," he told the doctor. "Everything you doctors do is so cut and dried and tidy. With me, I spend half a day taking an engine apart and putting it back together, and it seems like I always have a couple of parts left over."
"Yes," said the surgeon. "I know the feeling."
I was feeling pretty bored so I bought some wooden planks
Now I'm even more board than I was before.
That feeling when you're trying to crack jokes with your friends and everyone stops laughing
"You're doing that too much, please try again in 6 minutes."
If you're feeling lonely tonight, don't worry. Just watch a horror movie.
You won't be feeling lonely for long...
I was feeling pretty down on my birthday...
... Because I hadn't had any luck with the ladies recently. A friend of mine told me that he could set me up with someone, and I got pretty excited. He showed me a picture, and I got even more excited. Then he told me she wasn't "girlfriend material", but would probably bang me just because it was my birthday.
I told him it's the thot that counts.
Have you ever had the feeling to push someone into a shark tank at an aquarium?
Anyways, I lost my job as a shark trainer today.
I was feeling a little hungry
I was feeling hungry, so I went into the kitchen to grab some crackers just to find out they've gone bad...
What are your feelings toward the brain transplant?
Well, I am of two minds on the matter...
Feeling alone? Feeling unwanted, like no one gives a hoot?
Do what I did... don't file your tax returns.
I was feeling down the other day and decided to go to the movies.
I asked the guy at the counter, "Hey, which one has a happy ending?"
The guy says, "For an extra five bucks, they all do."
I was feeling very lonely the other day so I bought some stocks.
It's nice to have a bit of company.
I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares.
It's nice to have some company.
You know that feeling when you want to eat something that's right in front of you, but you can't?
Yea, that's why I quit being a gynaecologist
Whenever you're feeling sad, just remember...
That "sad" spelled backwards is "das".
And das not good.
When I'm feeling down my friend keeps saying 'Cheer up, you could be stuck in a big fish, like Jonah!'
I know he means whale.
After feeling like he's being followed by a flock of ducks for years, a spanish man finally decides to lose them by jumping in front of a train...
I guess you could say it was quite a loco motive.
Feeling like a cake right now
Baked.
If you're ever feeling useless
Remember the ueue in queue .
I was feeling miserable and depressed today
So I played some sad songs to turn it all around. now I'm depressed and miserable
Feeling bad about not getting enough exercise?
Get a dog and name him 10 kilometres so you can say you walk/run 10km every day.
(Doesn't work in America though.)
I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!
I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.
I was feeling really sad while crushing cans today...
It was soda pressing.
I'm feeling quite confident about that job interview. The interviewer said they want somebody responsible.
***Oh I'm totally your man***, I told her, whatever problem came up at my last job, they always said I was **responsible!**
Oh that feeling
Autocorrect is my worst Enima.
When you're feeling down
just remember it's only feathers
Feeling nostalgic...
Back when I was married, my wife loved me so much that whenever she went out with her friends, she would take off her wedding ring and leave it at home, so that she didn't lose it.
Feeling strange, Mr. Bond? That's because I've laced your martini with a measles vaccine. The autism should be setting in any second now.
Joke's on you, I already disassembled your doomsday device and rearranged all the parts in order of size.
Was feeling a little down yesterday Reddit family
So to pick myself up, I thought back to my tire collection from days gone by.
They were good years...
