Feeli Jokes
97 feeli jokes and hilarious feeli puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feeli that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Feeli Short Jokes
Short feeli jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feeli humour may include short felt jokes also.
- The daycare turned down my job application. Probably because I described myself as "a touchy-feely kind of guy"
- "What's the biggest complaint a sea anemone gets on dates?" "They're too touchy feely."
"That's gotta sting."
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Feeli One Liners
Which feeli one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feeli? I can suggest the ones about emotionally and mood.
- Heelies are the best shoes in the world. Cause I can you them to escape my feelies.
Ridiculous Feeli Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about feeli you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean snow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feeli pranks.
I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.
It improved my outlook.
here lately i've been feeling a void in my life...
it's probably nothing.
I've been feeling down all evening...
I think my duvet has split.
I'm feeling more attracted to you lately.
Have you put on weight?
Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day?
There's a nap for that!
I'm feeling confident about my new business selling amphibious aircraft...
It's going to be plane sailing!
Everybody was feeling Merry at the Christmas Party...
...Mary got upset and went home.
So I was feeling really depressed due to the attack in Paris...
I phoned the Islamic Samaritans. When I said I was feeling suicidal they got all excited and asked if I knew how to fly a plane.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feeling sick before work.
The other day I was hanging out with my buddy Collin and noticed that he doesn't look to good.
He said that he feels like he is going to p**..., has a growing headache and has work in a couple of hours.
He then said "I'm just ganna text my boss Lynn that I'm not feeling well today and will get someone to cover my shift"
With no responce he had only one other option.
Collin had to call Lynn, to call in.
You know that feeling of shame, when you put it in the wrong hole? You wonder why it doesn't fit, and when you look down you just get sad.
I'm talking about belts, of course.
What did you think!?
Feeling very homesick.
It has shingles.
At first i was feeling a little grumpy,
Then I was feeling happy, then a little sleepy and finally a little bashful.
I am no longer welcome at my daughters school play of Snow white and the 7 dwarfs
I was feeling depressed. .
I was feeling depressed so I went to the doctor to get a blood test.
A week later he called me back with the results and said B positive, it's in your blood.
When you're feeling down, just remember...
you've accomplished more than Steve Jobs this year.
Whenever I'm feeling stressed I go to the house of mirrors...
I find it's a really great place to reflect.
Me: How are you feeling Grandpa?
Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.
Whenever I'm feeling really tired, I just watch the new Star Wars trailer...
Because The Force Awakens me
I was feeling under the weather...
so i got on a plane.
If you ever feeling worthless,
just remember that Gotham City has a police department.
There's no better feeling than laying next to the person you love
And they don't know you love them
Or that you're in their house again
I am really feeling like a bicycle today.
Too tired!
When you're feeling bored and unsatisfied with life, just remember...
That there are some people who think Golf is interesting.
When I'm feeling down.
I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio
If you don't have any feelings watching a kid cry,
most likely it's your kid.
DJ vu.
The feeling you get when you've heard the same music in a club before.
Anyone else get the feeling their being watched?
NSA: They're.
Feeling down?
Try necromancy, it's sure to... raise your spirits.
My SO was feeling down today..
G: I feel fat when i look in the mirror, can you compliment me to make me feel better?
B: You have great eyesight.
You know that feeling when you've had a long day at work, you drive home and nothing is going your way?
It's probably because you're driving in the wrong lane.
I was feeling depressed, so I drank some brandy and went to the gym
That really lifted my spirits
I am feeling very optimistic.
But I bet it won't last.
If you're feeling down today....
Just know that earlier I took a two hour course online about why you should NEVER leave your Common Access Card unattended,
And then accidentally left it in the computer after I was done.
What is a feminist's feeling when she gets "threatened?"
Womenaced
I've been feeling really dizzy since yesterday
I think I need to stop these New Year revolutions.
I'm feeling like a country
Hungary
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Do you ever get that feeling like your being watched?
'Cause if it's bothering you I'll stop.
*Edit*: It's supposed to be you're. I'm know I'm s**.... You can stop telling me.
Are you feeling okay?
(My attempt at a joke)
Person 1: You feeling okay?
Person 2: If I touch you and your name is okay will I be feeling okay?
Person 1: But my name isn't okay...
Person 2: Oh I'm sorry
I'm feeling very left out…
Even the CIA doesn't want anything to do with my Windows phone.
If you're feeling cold you should go to the corner...
because it's *90 degrees*
I was feeling confused, and I needed answers. I needed to just ask the things that have been bothering me to someone.
In retrospect, I probably shouldn't have used the Ouija board.
If your ever feeling like you can't achieve something, just remember...
Today, amy winehouse is six years clean.
One of the best feelings in the world is to wake up with someone cuddling with you...
Unless you're in prison.
I was feeling cold, so I stood in the corner of the room.
They told me it was 90 degrees
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm feeling really old lately...
I haven't had s**... with a priest in 25 years
When I'm feeling shy, I like to think about my pet rock...
It always inspires me to be a little boulder.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you do when feeling nervous at an o**...?
Picture everyone with their clothes on.
If you still had feelings for your exes and didn't know what to do..
Does that mean that you are in exes-tential crisis?
Not feeling creative?
Open up a gym membership and see how many excuses you can come up with not to go.
I have a feeling my wife would have liked Jesus.
Rose from the dead and first thing he did was to fold his bedclothes.
I've been feeling really stressed lately, so my doctor advised me that before going to bed, I should drink two glasses of red wine, after a hot bath, but to be honest, it's not really helping at all...
...I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
Y'know, I was feeling sad after my crush told me that she liked me as a brother,
But then I realized that she was from Alabama.
I was feeling Cold last night
Apparently Cold has now joined the #metoo movement and I am now facing charges.
The best feeling in the world is waking up realizing that you don't have to deal with the repercussions of what you did in your dreams...
That is until my wife wakes up and I have to deal with the repercussions of what I did in HER dreams
I am feeling grateful Jesus died for us on the cross.
It brought us two public holidays.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was feeling really down the other day so decided to give myself a coffee e**...
It worked a treat, but the manager of Starbucks was livid.
I know the feeling...
An auto mechanic in the hospital was chatting nervously with his surgeon while being prepped for an operation. "Sometimes I wish I'd gone into your line of work," he told the doctor. "Everything you doctors do is so cut and dried and tidy. With me, I spend half a day taking an engine apart and putting it back together, and it seems like I always have a couple of parts left over."
"Yes," said the surgeon. "I know the feeling."
I was feeling pretty bored so I bought some wooden planks
Now I'm even more board than I was before.
That feeling when you're trying to crack jokes with your friends and everyone stops laughing
"You're doing that too much, please try again in 6 minutes."
I was feeling pretty down on my birthday...
... Because I hadn't had any luck with the ladies recently. A friend of mine told me that he could set me up with someone, and I got pretty excited. He showed me a picture, and I got even more excited. Then he told me she wasn't "girlfriend material", but would probably bang me just because it was my birthday.
I told him it's the thot that counts.
Have you ever had the feeling to push someone into a shark tank at an aquarium?
Anyways, I lost my job as a shark trainer today.
I was feeling a little hungry
I was feeling hungry, so I went into the kitchen to grab some crackers just to find out they've gone bad...
What are your feelings toward the brain transplant?
Well, I am of two minds on the matter...
Feeling alone? Feeling unwanted, like no one gives a hoot?
Do what I did... don't file your tax returns.
I was feeling down the other day and decided to go to the movies.
I asked the guy at the counter, "Hey, which one has a happy ending?"
The guy says, "For an extra five bucks, they all do."
I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares.
It's nice to have some company.
You know that feeling when you want to eat something that's right in front of you, but you can't?
Yea, that's why I quit being a gynaecologist
Do you know this feeling when you transferred all your items from the washing machine to the dryer and didn't drop a single sock?
Me neither.
I was feeling butterflies in my stomach while going on the first date.
Maybe I shouldn't have run through the garden with my mouth open.
I have a feeling that my mouth transplant surgery went horribly wrong.
The voice in the back of my head keeps telling me that.
If you're feeling suicidal, remember - Where there is a will...
there is a well
Was feeling bored. So I decided to call the police.
Me: Hello, help.
Police: What happened?
Me:5000 people are following me.
Police: Calm down, where are you?
Me: On twitter !"
*violent cursing*
When I'm feeling down my friend keeps saying 'Cheer up, you could be stuck in a big fish, like Jonah!'
I know he means whale.
After feeling like he's being followed by a flock of ducks for years, a spanish man finally decides to lose them by jumping in front of a train...
I guess you could say it was quite a loco motive.
Feeling like a cake right now
Baked.
If you're ever feeling useless
Remember the ueue in queue .
I was feeling miserable and depressed today
So I played some sad songs to turn it all around. now I'm depressed and miserable
Feeling bad about not getting enough exercise?
Get a dog and name him 10 kilometres so you can say you walk/run 10km every day.
(Doesn't work in America though.)
I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!
I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.
I was feeling really sad while crushing cans today...
It was soda pressing.
Oh that feeling
Autocorrect is my worst Enima.
When you're feeling down
just remember it's only feathers
Feeling nostalgic...
Back when I was married, my wife loved me so much that whenever she went out with her friends, she would take off her wedding ring and leave it at home, so that she didn't lose it.