Feel Tired Jokes
62 feel tired jokes and hilarious feel tired puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feel tired that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Feel Tired Short Jokes
Short feel tired jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feel tired humour may include short feeling tired jokes also.
- Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day? There's a nap for that!
- I had to put my dog down today :( My arms were really tired and he's really heavy. I'm feeling better now so I might pick him up again.
- Ever since my kid came out as trans everyone's attention is just on them. I feel like people can't even see me anymore. I'm just tired of being transparent.
- Was feeling a little down yesterday Reddit family So to pick myself up, I thought back to my tire collection from days gone by.
They were good years... - Did you know there's a way to go 7 days without sleeping and not feel tired? Sleep at night.
It's a great trick I highly recommend it. - Ever since my covid vaccine I've been feeling tired and unable to get out of bed Glad to see there are no side-effects.
- Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I'm tired of making other people feel good about themselves!
- February 7, 1938: Harvey Firestone, founder of Firestone Tire and Rubber Company, dies Leaving his family feeling deflated
- The wages of sin is death, but... ...by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.
- Whenever I'm feeling really tired, I just watch the new Star Wars trailer... Because The Force Awakens me
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Feel Tired One Liners
Which feel tired one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feel tired? I can suggest the ones about tired and so tired.
- Really tired today... Feels like I had a long March.
- I had a nightmare that I was the Michelin man I woke up feeling tired from that one.
- Why did the vampire feel tired after dinner? All the blood had rushed to his stomach.
- Life is tiring being a child proctologist You're always feeling a little behind
- I am really feeling like a bicycle today. Too tired!
- After a long day, I feel like a bicycle Because I'm too tired
- I'm feeling a bit tired. Wake me up when September ends.
- Why was the doctor feeling tired? He had a case of jet drag.
- You feel tired and have an iPhone? There's an app for that.
- I feel perpetually tired and often fall asleep....... I think I may be a Napkin
- Spanish? Feel tired in the afternoons? There's a nap for that.
Cheerful Feel Tired Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about feel tired you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tiring jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feel tired pranks.
The best blond joke I know.
This blond woman was tired of all these "s**... blond jokes." So she decided to do something about it. She went to a salon and dyed her hair black. On the drive home, feeling very pleased about not being blond anymore, she spots this s**... blond on her front yard rowing a boat and not going anywhere. She says to herself.
"Thats it! Iv'e had enough, I'm going to say something!"
She pulls over her car gets out and walks to the edge of the lawn that the blond is rowing her boat in. She screams at the blond.
"You know it's s**... blonds like you that made me dye my hair black!"
But no response, the blond women just kept trying to row the boat on the lawn. The more she watched the more she become upset and frustrated until she yells out.
"You're lucky I can't swim or else I'd swim over there right now and tip that boat over!"
How many sheep?
A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's s**... and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"
The wedding night
A young women marries a very rich very old man. On the wedding night they have adjoining suites. The young woman tells her husband that she loves him for his mind and that he should feel no performance pressure. If he feels up to s**... to just knock on her door.
She goes to bed expecting a restful and undisturbed night but about 5 minutes later there is a knock and in comes the old man. They proceed to have fairly rambunctious s**... after which the old man returns to his room. The bride settles back to go to sleep. 10 min later there is another knock at the door and in he comes again, and another round of s**.... Afterward he again leaves. The young bride is very tired by now and is looking forward to a good night's sleep. 10 minutes later there is another knock at the door. She bursts out incredulously, "Again?". The old man opens the door and replies, "What? Have I been here before?"
The s**... b**... instructor
It's 2:00 PM at the s**... bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:
"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."
A businessman is driving to an important meeting when his car breaks down...
Luckily, he breaks down near a mechanic, who agrees to tow his truck and fix it for him. However, the it would take awhile to fix, the businessman was going to be late if he didn't get going soon. Luckily, the mechanic had a donkey he was willing to lend to the businessman.
"There's only two things you need to know. To make him go, say 'Thank goodness'. To make him stop, say 'Woah'."
The businessman thanked the mechanic, put his briefcase in the saddlebag, and shouted "Thank goodness".
Now, the donkey quickly got into a regular rhythm, and the businessman, tired for lack of sleep, soon feel asleep. He awoke sometime later to see the donkey idiotically careening towards a cliff. "WOAH" he shouted, and the donkey started to slow down. Just at the edge of the cliff, the donkey comes to a full stop.
"Phew," the man said "Thank goodness"
What do people in the South do when they don't feel like egging someone's home?
They slash the tires on the houses instead
Two Sandwiches in a Deli
One day two sandwiches are sitting in a deli. One sandwich - a veggie sandwich - asks the other "Hey man, if you could be any kind of sandwich, what would you be?"
The other sandwich - a turkey sandwich - isn't in the mood. He retorts "I'm tired man. I don't feel like having a deep conversation right now."
But the veggie sandwich persists. "I'm sorry to bug you. It's just that I'm doing this study for a class. I need to know your response in order to fully understand the psyche and whims of a turkey sandwich. I promise, just the one question, and that's it."
The turkey sandwich replies "Look man, I'm happy just being a turkey sandwich. I know I'm not the most exotic food item out there, but I'm content with my situation."
The veggie sandwich tries taking a more motivational approach. "Come on man, I'm not trying to imply that you're not awesome. Of course you are. But surely you have dreams. We all have dreams. If you could be ANY kind of sandwich in the world, what would you be?"
The turkey sandwich is still reluctant to enter into anything resembling a philosophical conversation with the veggie sandwich. It's always ended poorly in the past, but he knows how relentless the veggie sandwich can be. "Fine," he says, knowing that he has to make a decision. "If pressed, I would be a panini."
Oh, a joke standing still indeed!
A philosopher, a tree, and an elephant resided along the shore of a lake. As time passed, the philosopher, the tree, and the elephant became thirsty. The philosopher, not knowing how or where to drink safely, observed the elephant. He watched as the animal moved away from the shore into deeper waters. The elephant proceeded to drink the water surrounding itself. This was of no help to the philosopher, as swimming towards the deep waters of the lake would have proved dangerous due to predatory animals. The philosopher sought to observe the habits of the tree, but its roots were too far underground to analyze, and the different way of utilizing water made the task of understanding the system impossible to complete with only direct observation by a human. Feeling defeated, the philosopher pondered, If I cannot even keep myself healthy, why value the advanced intellect I possess over these creatures? . The intellectual grew tired, so he made his way out of the man-made safari; he drank from a water fountain close to the exit and continued by walking out of the tourist attraction.
Help me finish a joke?
I don't even know if this is the right place for this, but I'll try it and see what happens...
This sounds ridiculous, but here goes. In a dream last night, I told a joke. I don't exactly remember all of it, and woke up towards the end. But I like the setup. Please take a look at the part that I'm able to remember and add your own interpretation. Feel free to change anything you need in order to make the joke better.
Also, if there's a better place for me to post this, please let me know.
Here's what I remember...
Three ducks are out swimming, heading "somewhere", when they come across a magic lamp. The first duck rubs the lamp and a genie pops out. The first duck asks the genie for a quicker way to reach "somewhere". With a clap of the genie's hands, a rowboat appears in the lake.
The ducks row for a while, but they get tired. The second duck rubs the lamp, and again, the genie pops out. The second duck says the boat is nice, but asks for a quicker way to get "somewhere". Again, the genie claps his hands, and an outboard motor appears at the back of the rowboat. They fire up the motor and get moving.
That's what I remember telling in the dream. I'm just curious what you all can come up with based on that. Change whatever you like, but would appreciate if we could keep the ducks, the genie, and the rowboat please. Thanks for reading.
A lion walks into a bar...
...and sits down for a drink. He is followed in by an obnoxious woman who begins causing a scene in the bar. She begins knocking people's drinks out of their hands, cussing at people, and starting fights. The lion sees this and is annoyed, and in a few bites he eats the woman. Everyone cheers and the lion continues to drink at the bar.
He tells the bartender, "man, I sure do feel tired now...I have no idea what could be causing this! I'm exhausted and have barely had anything to drink..." The bartender promptly replies, "well, it must have been that barbiturate!"
Finnish joke where a competition between a finn, a swede and a norwegian ends in a tie.
So a finn, a swede and a norwegian are drinking and boasting on a shore of a large lake. They decide that the way to decide who is strongest is for them to swim to the opposite shore somewhere behind the horizon and see who is the fastest.
The swede goes first but drowns after 1/3 of the way. The finn and the norwegian don't see the drowning so they decide that the norwegian shoud go next. The norwegian gets to 2/3 of the way but then, all his strenght depleted drowns like the swede. The finn waits on the shore for a while to see a sign of either of them but then decides that even though they have probably already on the opposite shore celebrating their victory he too will try to brave the distance. The finn swims and swims untill he is only 40 meters from the goal but then feeling tired and defeated, he decides that he can't do it and swims back to the start.
A man goes the doctor claiming to be constantly tired during the day.
The doctor says to him "Play the song "Losing my Religion" on repeat in your bedroom, while you sleep."
The man obviously thinks that it is a ridiculous treatment, but obliges the doctor nonetheless.
The next day the man bursts into his doctor's office and yells: "I feel fantastic!! How the did that actually work?!"
The doctor replies: "You weren't getting enough REM sleep."
A couple is driving up to the mountains...
.. and they are in a huge fight. The man and woman are arguing loudly for so long they are tired out. The woman then feels that she should get the last word in, and so as they pass a pasture of cows she turns to her husband and asks "Relatives of yours?" The man replies "Yes, in-laws."
Calling In Sick
Today I called in to work, "Hi, I'm not feeling well today, fatigued, drained, tired, stressed. I'll be staying in bed, so I won't be coming to work today"
The boss says, "You know, I really need you here today, extra work came in today. When I feel overworked, I go to my wife and we have wild s**..., and this always works to release all that stress. So you try that"
a couple of hours later, "Hey boss it's me, I did what you said, and you were right, it's amazing. So I'll be on my way to work
Oh, your house look really nice by the way"
Once a clock was very tired..
What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night?
1 AM feeling very sleepy.
So I went to the doctor yesterday because I've been feeling tired all the time.
He told me I needed to quit m**....
I asked him if that would solve my problem. "No," he replied, "but I can't examine you while you're doing it."
A wife has a c**... day and decides to come home early from work
When she arrives home, she heads upstairs and finds 2 pairs of legs in her bed under the covers. Already in a bad mood, she grabs a baseball bat and has a few swings at her cheating husband and his mistress. Once she's done, she walks to her balcony and finds her husband. He lovingly greets her with "Hi honey, your parents dropped in for a visit, they were feeling a little tired so I let them sleep in our bed".
Young couple codewords
The bashfull newlyweds decided to talk about "laundry" when one was interested in s**.... A Year later, when the new was off, the Husband asked "do you want to help me do the laundry tonight?"
Wife: "No, I am too tired".
The next night: "I have a headache". Next
On the following night: "I just don't feel like it".
Finally wife says: "How about doing the Laundry tonight".
Hubby's reply: "No worries, Dear, it was just a small load and I did it by hand!"
One day I will find you...
...and I will possess you.
That day, I will bring you to bed.
Then, without your permission, I will get close to you and touch your entire body.
You will be feeling tired.
You will feel chills down your body and I'll make you sweat.
As long as I stay with you, you will never be able to get out of the bed.
Then, I will leave without saying goodbye, convinced that one day I will return.
Signed… The flu.
The other day a kid rolled up to me in a wheelchair...
He said he was feeling tired after a long day of work. So I told him to take the wheels off.
My grandfather told me this one.
A public worker goes to the doctor.
W- I've been feeling really tired lately and I always feel sleepy.
D- Well when did it begin?
W- It begun when they changed my work time...
D- How many hours do you work per week?
W- 35h
D- And how many hours did you work before?
W- 40h
D- See? Its those 5 hours of sleep that you have been missing!
A priest, a traktor tire and a cheese grater walk into a bar.
The bartender gives them the rest of his l**..., tells his boss he ain't feeling right and goes home.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were trapped on an island...
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead were trapped on an island and the only way to escape to civilization was to swim off the island.
The brunette decides she will go first, she swims 1/4 of the way there, gets exhausted and drowns.
The redhead decides to go next a bit more athletic is able to swim 1/2 the way there but gets exhausted and drowns.
Finally the blonde takes her turn, swims 3/4 of the way there. She begins to feel tired so swims back!
A cop lights me up for speeding
Im driving down the road and a cop lights me up
So I took off and made him chase me awhile..
Finally I give up and pull over.
The cop walks up and says, "Look, its the end of my tour, Im tired,
I dont feel like doing paperwork, If you give me a good excuse, Ill let ya go"
So I say "Last week my girl left me and ran off with a cop,
I thought you were trying to bring her back"
You know that feeling you get in the middle of the afternoon when you're really sleepy and tired..
There's a nap for that
I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!
I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.
Husband tired of His lazy wife sitting all day on the couch told Her: If You keep doing this you will lose your w**... for being too lazy.
Next morning He found Her asleep on the same spot and quickly went to the meat shop and bought a whole cow liver, went back home and carefully placed it right by her c**... and left to work.
When He came back home found His wife crying and had a pale face. He said whats wrong?
Wife: I lost my w**... like You said
Husband: did it hurt?
Wife: didn't feel anything but it hurt like h**... when I put it back in.
I'm an Anti-vax and I don't care what you think.
I'm sick and tired of seeing people who are anti-vax getting bullied on social media. We have good reasons to feel this way and simply bad mouthing us or attacking us is not going to change our mind. We will not be silenced.
I for sure will never have one again. No chance, no matter what you say to convince me. I've been s**... into that trap before!
They are absolutely the worst brand of vacuum cleaner. Dyson all the way for me!
Up in Heaven, God was feeling tired
He had been a busy deity lately.
Anyways, St. Peter suggests he should go on vacation.
Where?" rants God, "I created everything! I know what everything is!!"
Well" replies St. Peter, "Earth is a nice place. You could go there."
Ohh no! Not Earth!" says God, "I went there about two thousand years ago, s**... some chick, and they're *still* talking about it!
A man went to the doctor because he had trouble falling asleep.
The doctor told him to count to 1000 every night to help him fall asleep.
So that night, the man got into bed and started counting to 1000. When he got to 50, he started feeling very tired, so he got up, made himself a coffee, and went back to bed to keep on counting.