Feeds Jokes
32 feeds jokes and hilarious feeds puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feeds that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Feeds Short Jokes
Short feeds jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feeds humour may include short feeding jokes also.
- Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
- Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will
use twice a year - Donald Trump was asked if he could quote any Bible verses. He replied,"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Deport him and you do not have to feed him again."
Trump 20:16 - Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, and you feed him for the rest of his life.
- My Mum used to feed my brother and I by saying 'Here comes the train', and we always ate the food straight away. Otherwise she wouldn't untie us from the tracks.
- I lost my job at the zoo recently. There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.
- When I was little, my dad used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it I didn't really; he was just putting words in my mouth.
- Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, "I forgot to feed the dogs," and leaves.
- My mom used to feed me by saying: Here comes the train! I always ate everything. Otherwise she wouldn't untie me from the tracks.
- My friend said, I really need to go home and feed my baby hamsters. Me: That's a terrible diet for a baby.
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Feeds One Liners
Which feeds one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feeds? I can suggest the ones about feedback and leads.
- Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Give a fish a man and feed it for a month
- What do you feed a hungry robot? Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister - What do you feed a gay horse? Haaaaaaayyy
- How does Darth Vader eat with a mask on? He force feeds himself.
- What bounces and makes little children cry? My donation check to Feed the Children!
- Why is it cheap to feed a giraffe? A little goes a long way
- What do you feed a baby parabola? quadratic formula
- Today I saw an old man feeding the birds. He must have been dead three hours at least.
- What's the wrong way to feed the cat? to the dog.
- How many black men does it take to feed a family? Just one, if you eat the whole thing.
- Why do gamblers feed their cows edibles? Because they like it when the steaks are high
- What does a therapist feed a cannibal? Piece of mind
- What does Anakin do when Luke doesn't eat his vegetables? He force-feeds him
- What's yellow and feeds on dead beatles? Yoko Ono
- You should always feed your dog well, You don't want a bad yelp review.
Cheeky Feeds Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about feeds you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nutrition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feeds pranks.
the difference between cats and dogs
dog: this man feeds me, gives me shelter, loves me and asks nothing in return. my owner must be god.
cat: this man feeds me, gives me shelter, loves me and asks nothing in return. I must be god.
If someone feeds you alphabet soup...
Is that putting words in your mouth? Also, if they are about to feed you and pull back, is that taking the words out of your mouth?
I'm a vampire that only feeds only on v**... blood...
I'm 100% self-sufficient.
My wife treats me like an idol
she feeds me burnt offerings
The most loyal, kind and noble of all dog breeds is the hot dog...
He's the only one who feeds the hand that bites him
How do you feed a 90 foot long pet anaconda?
Once. After that somebody else feeds it once.
A dog looks at its human and thinks "this person feeds me, they must be God"
A cat looks at its human and thinks "this person feeds me, I must be God"
What pets think about their owners?
A dog: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... He is God.
A cat: He feeds me, takes care about me, gives me shelter... I am God.
I think I'm a mushroom
Everyone keeps me in the dark and feeds me b**....
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.
Or even better: don't bite hands.
Give us your most offensive joke (with one challenge)
No Jew, black, Helen Keller or dead baby jokes.
Feeds are always filled with those. Let's see something different.
Dogs and cats both have a god complex
A dog looks at you and says, "this person feeds me, cleans up after me, and puts a roof over my head. He must be a GOD!"
A cat looks at you and says, "this person feeds me, cleans up after me, and puts a roof over my head. I must be a GOD!"
New Bovine Discovered!
Deep in the heart of the Amazon, we have just discovered a new type of Bovine mammal. Named after the place where they were discovered, the gully bulls make their home in the bottom of a chasm. This Sar Chasm as it is known to the locals, was carved out of the bedrock by the river at the bottom. The gully bulls live at the bottom and their drool feeds the river that turns the wheel that powers the Internet.
My friend only feeds the highest quality drugs to their animals.
I told them to get off their high horse.
Have you heard of Eats Unwanted Leftovers Man?
He's the hero this city feeds
