Feed Store Jokes
4 feed store jokes and hilarious feed store puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feed store that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Feed Store Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good feed store joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
On a whim, I bought a snake yesterday at the local pet store...
Last night, I attempted to feed it a freshly grilled hamburger.
Just the patty, no bread.
The thing is, he wouldn't eat it.
As it turns out,
my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, Hun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joss Whedon should open his own version of a Tractor Supply store, with gardening and animal supplies ...
... he could call it Whedon Feed 'n w**...-n-feed
A fine country lady is hosting a dinner party
and she wants to serve her famous Mushroom Soup. She invites over the whole neighborhood for dinner. The day of her big event she runs out of mushrooms and the small country store is sold out. She panics! "What evah shall I do??" she pleads to her husband.
"Well" he says "There are lots of mushrooms growing back in the cow pasture. We could use those." "Absolutely not!" she yells. "Those might be poisonous!"
He replies "Tell ya what, I'll go back and pick some and you make a small batch of soup. We'll feed it to the dog, Jack. If he is OK in an hour or so, we'll know they're OK". With no other options, she agrees. He goes and gets the mushrooms, she makes up some soup and old Jack just LOVES it. He horfs it right down and is just happy as a clam.
Few hours go by and old Jack is just dandy. The lady of the house goes into full Dinner Party mode. She is running behind schedule now so she calls the neighbor girl over to help her prepare. The lady figures she should warn the girl about Jack but doesn't want to confess the whole story. She tells the girl to just keep a CLOSE EYE on Jack, that he is very special to the family, and to let her know if anything comes up.
A few hours later the guests start to arrive and they all sit down for an absolutely wonderful presentation of Mushroom Soup. The guests are raving about it. They can't get enough. Everyone is just having a wonderful evening,..
When all the sudden the neighbor girl bursts into the room in hysterics! "OLD JACK IS DEAD!!!!" she cries. "HE'S DEAD, JUST.. DEAD!!"
The country lady immediately jumps into action. She calls the paramedics, the hospital and the police! They all arrive quickly and begin pumping stomaches and administering anti-poison medicines. People are puking in the yard, screaming, and crying. Ambulance after Ambulance comes and goes with guest after guest for what seems like hours.
Finally.. at 5am an exhausted lady and her helpful neighbor girl are setting in the kitchen trying to take stock in what happened. The neighbor girl looks over at the lady and says
"It really is a shame. The guy that ran over old Jack didn't even stop."
A woman stops into her local grocery store to purchase a turkey for her upcoming Thanksgiving dinner.
She browses the selection of turkey, but does not see one that will feed the amount of guests she invited for Thanksgiving.
She walks over to the deli and asks to speak with the butcher. The butcher steps out, wiping his hands on his apron, and asks "How may I help you today?"
The woman replies, "I'm having a large gathering on Thanksgiving and I need to know if these turkeys get bigger".
Without missing a beat the butcher replies, "No, Miss. These turkeys are dead."
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