Following is our collection of funniest February jokes. There are some february calendar jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these february year puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
But after I came twice in April what I'm really hoping for is a No Fetus February
One / two / one two three four!
What're the names of the USSR's three greatest generals? December, January, and February!
No, but April may.
December, January, and February.
Emperor Augustus throws down his pen in disgust, exclaiming:
"I can't believe it's February and I'm still writing B.C. on all of my checks!"
"That's a 3pack of condoms son for secondary school lads. 1 for Friday night, 1 for Saturday night and 1 for Sunday night."
"What about the 6pack dad?"
"Those are for University lads. 2 for Friday night, 2 for Satuday night and 2 for Sunday night."
"Well dad, what about the 12pack then?"
"Married men son. 1 for January, 1 for February, 1 for March ..."
Then, he realized it's the middle of February. This was posted late.
A boy goes to the drug store with his dad and sees the condom display.
Boy: "Dad, why do they do packs of one condom?"
Dad: "Those are for the high-schoolers for Friday nights."
Boy: "So, why do they make packs of three?"
Dad: "For the college guys for Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights."
Boy: "Then why do they make packs of 12?"
Dad: "Those are for married couples -- you know, January, February, March."
Q: Why can't a bicycle stand on its own?
A: Because it's two-tired.
Q: What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises?
A: It becomes daytrogen.
Q: Where did Noah keep his bees?
A: In the Ark Hives!
Q: Can February March?
A: No, but April May.
Q: What is it called when you kill a friend?
A: Homiecide
"Fish tanks are stupid!"
"Why?"
"Fish don't even have any militaries!"
The teacher then asked everyone to give one interesting fact about themselves.
'I'm actually a twin, and me and Jem were born on the 23rd of February making us Pisces.' I said.
'Jem and I' responded the teacher.
'No, definitely Pisces' I said.
You can explore february april reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean february dec dad jokes. There are also february puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
FE-bruary
Thanks :D
It's February 1st. You going to caucas or not?
Boy: Do you have a date for Valentine's Day?
Girl: Yes, February 14th.
For all those that won't be getting the V or D on February 14th.
It only shows up every four years.
February... because it has the least number of days
So dentists can have a day to celebrate
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
For a romantic evening of carbon dating.
he'll be born in February
Fortunately for him, he'll be born next February.
No, but April May :')
Sorry, IDK if this was posted before.
And yes, I know it's bad.
But why are we forgetting the January and February for Life?
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
Yes February 14th.
Because it's 2/10.
The ones that get to 31st.
Cause there's only 28 days
Rest in Pisces
If the 4th of July is independence Day, why isn't 17th February Shawshank redemption day? It was a much better film.
The Judge asks the defendant, When is your birthday Mr McKenzie?
-
February 20th, Your Honor.
-
And what year?
-
Every year, Your Honor"
A: Dude, Do you know why women talk less in February?
B: Nope, why?
A: Cause it has only 29 days.
We can call it... 2's day
Father: Those are for highschool boys son. One for Friday, Saturday and Sunday.
Son: Then what is this 6 pack for?
Father: Those are for college men! 2 for Friday 2 for Saturday and 2 for Sunday!
Son: WOW!! And the 12 pack of condoms?
Father: Sigh.... Those are for married men. One for January.... One for February..... One for...
Leaving his family feeling deflated
February the 14th
14th February.
That have to change sheets February 15th
We'll March on.
The church is in Rochester, the womens name is Clarissa
Because It's the shortest month of the year, and it's too cold to have a parade.
The judge questions the culprit:
"Where have you been in the night of the 4th November to 11th February?"
I asked my 10 year old niece what special day is coming up in February.
"President's Day."
"What does President's Day mean?" I expected her to tell me something about Obama or Bush or Clinton.
Instead, she says, "President's Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we get another year of bullshit."
I have one for you!
It's February 14th.
You're welcome! Enjoy it!
They haven't yet announced who the Patriots will be playing.
There isn't any, at least to me, because they're both Independence Day.
I said- "Back in 02."
It sounds much better than "February"
It has 29 days in February.
300 days in March.
And 5 years in April.
January
February
Lockdown
December
I guess that makes her My Bloody Valentine.
Hers is in February and mine in July
January — ABCD...
February — EFG...
March — HIJK...
April to December — ELEMENOP.
Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.
Was reading one of those "People Who Passed Away In 2020" articles and saw that Larry Tesler, one of the co-developers of the basic copy and paste function for computers, died in February.
February because it has fewer days.
I read that on February 11, 2017 in the New England Journal of Behavioral studies issue 2016-Q3.
February 30, 2021
His chateau
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the february sep jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working february jul piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.