Feathers Jokes
96 feathers jokes and hilarious feathers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about feathers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Feathers Short Jokes
Short feathers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The feathers humour may include short chicken feather jokes also.
- What's heavier, a ton of brick or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- What is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? The feathers.
Because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds. - What's the difference between a crow and a raven? All birds have tail feathers that help them fly called pinions. Crows have 3 pinions and ravens have 4. The difference is just a matter of a pinion.
- Did you know that a raven has 17 rigid feathers called pinions, while a crow only has 16? Apparently, the only difference between a raven and a crow is a matter of a pinion.
- Which weighs more, a ton of steel or a ton of feathers? A ton of feathers, because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
- My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves... Looks like the boa cons tricked her...
- What weighs more: A pound of feathers, or a pound of dogs? The dogs. A pound can house many of them and even a pomeranian weighs at least a few pounds.
- What's heavier, 1 lb of rocks, or 1 lb of feathers? The feathers, because you're carrying the weight of what you did to those birds.
- Sing to the tune of "Yankee Doodle"... Helen Keller went to town,
A-ridin' on a pony,
Stuck a feather in her hat
and called it "Hunngunnggunufffungg" - Which is heavier? 1kg of steel or 1kg of feathers? The feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those birds.
Share These Feathers Jokes With Friends
Feathers One Liners
Which feathers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with feathers? I can suggest the ones about duck feather and birds prey.
- I ate an entire feather pillow last week Since then I've been feeling down in the dumps.
- Which side of the chicken has more feathers? The outside
- Which side of the goose has the most feathers? The outside
- How Can You Identify a Bald Eagle? All his feathers are combed to one side
- What side do turkeys have the most feathers on? The outside.
- What part of a duck has the most feathers? The outside!!
- Why do ducks have tail feathers? To hide their buttquacks.
- Why don't birds eat potato chips? Because it RUFFLES their feathers.
- When you're feeling down just remember it's only feathers
- What did the bag of chips say to the angry pigeons? I don't want to ruffle any feathers
- A man walks into a bar to find its full of black feathers. Its a crowbar.
- Hey babe are you an angel? Because I'm allergic to feathers.
- Why does a duck have feathers? To cover its buttquack.
- Did you hear about the bird that lost all of its feathers in a volcano? It was moltin'.
- Does anyone know how to easily peel a kiwi? All those feathers keep getting in the way
Covered Feathers Jokes
Here is a list of funny covered feathers jokes and even better covered feathers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My little brother told me this one Why do ducks have feathers? He says grinning through his teeth
Why?
To cover there But-Quacks! He says absolutely dyeing - I asked a partying man covered in feathers if he'd taken lots of drugs this evening... Quoth the raver: "Never more"
- Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their assquacks
- My 7 year old told me this one (sfw) Why does the duck have feathers?
To cover it's quack hole! - A joke from my grandad Why is a duck filled with feathers.
To cover it's buttquack - Do you know the number one use for chicken feathers in Indiana? Its to cover all the chickens!
- What do ducks have feathers? To cover their quackholes
- Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their b**... quacks.
.....I'll gather your upvotes and see my way out. - A joke my nephew told me recently... Why do ducks have feathers? To cover their a**... quack
- Why does a duck have tail feathers... To cover it's b**... quack.
Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Feathers Jokes with Friends.
What funny jokes about feathers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wings jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make feathers pranks.
difference between e**... and k**...
e**... is is rubbing a feather all over your lover; k**... is using the chicken.
Difference between e**... and perverted
You can be e**... by gently s**... your girlfriend with a feather. But its perverted if you take the whole goose to do it.
Yankee Doodle can use other names too
Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'
Adolf h**... went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'
The difference between a crow and a raven.
A biologist was asked to finally determine whether crows and ravens are really two different birds. This has been a matter of some conjecture for quite some time. Given only a cursory glance, these birds appear to be one and the same. The biologist spent considerable time watching the birds in their habitat and logging hours of observations. Their beaks were the same, their feet and their bodies showed no variable difference. But, at last, a breakthrough. The long feathers at the tip of a birds wings, the pinion feathers, provided the conclusion that ravens and crows differ. A raven has four pinion feathers and a crow has five pinion feathers. So........................... The difference between ravens and crows is a matter of a pinion.
What is the difference between k**... and perverted?
k**... is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
Do you know the difference between e**... and perverted?
An e**... person will use a feather on their partner.
A perverted person uses the whole chicken.
Stock Market Report
Helium was up, feathers were down. Paper was stationary.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Knives were up sharply. Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Diapers remained unchanged.
The market for raisins dried up. Balloon prices were inflated. And toilet paper touched a new bottom.
A Polish joke
A Polish man named Wojciech was fed up with being called a dumb p**... by every one he met. So one day he decided to pretend to be German. Wearing Liederhosen, knee socks and a feathered cap, he walked into a shop and told the man behind the counter:
"Hello my name is Rolf and I would like to buy some schnitzel, some saurbraten, some pretzels and some beer."
The counterman said "Get outta here you dumb p**...!".
Wojciech cried, "No no no! I am German! Don't you see my Liederhosen? Why do you think I am Polish?"
The counterman says "This is a hardware store."
What's the difference between being e**... and k**...?
e**... is when you use a feather.
k**... is when you use the whole dam bird!
A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?
When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'
The daughter of the house walks over to her mom and asks:
"Mom. Why is my name Leaf?"
Her mother answers:
"Well, that is because when you were a new born, a leaf landed on your head."
Later the oldest son asks:
"Mom. Why is my name Feather?"
"That is because when you were a new born, a feather landed on your head." The mother answers
Lastly the youngest son walks up to his mother and says: "Ihlaadskleblaødertmakusigalabongilahaudershirp!!"
The mother says: "Please be quiet, refrigerator"
Ruffled feathers ahead.
What do you call a woman that is never late, can actually drive a car and doesn't need help killing spiders? Bruce Jenner.
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
What's heavier: a ton of gold or a ton of feathers?
The feathers.
The gold's weight is measured using the Troy measurement system in which an ounce is 12 "regular" ounces.
The more you know...
A little girl asks her mother why her name is Feather
"You see, daughter - when you were born, a feather blew in through the window and landed on your head." she replies.
"Then why is my name Leaf?" Asked her little brother. "You see," replied his mother - "when you were born, a leaf blew in through the window and landed on your head."
In comes the youngest brother, and yells:
"BLARRRG BLARR BLARR!"
His mother calmly replies,
"Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
What's the difference between a hawk and an eagle?
All birds have specialized tail feathers called pinions. An eagle has 8 pinions, while a hawk only has 7. So you could say the difference is only a matter of a pinion.
Which is heavier, 200 pounds of brick, or 200 pounds of feather?
The feathers, because 200 pounds of bricks is just 200 pounds of bricks, but with the feathers, you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.
What is the difference between a raven and a crow??
Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3.
So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion
Where is the line between romance and p**...?
Romance is s**... a woman tenderly with a feather.
p**... is when that feather is still attached to the chicken.
The difference between "s**..." and "perverted"...
Q: What's the difference between "s**..." and "perverted"?
A: It's s**... if a girl let's you watch while she's stimulating her nether parts with a feather. It becomes perverted if there's a bird still attached to the feather...
Which weighs more? A ton of feathers? Or a ton of steel?
Feathers. You'll have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.
The teacher tells little Jack, "I'm going to describe an animal and you have to guess what it is."
"It lives on a farm and gives milk"
"A cow?"
"That's correct too, but I meant a goat. What lives on a farm, has feathers and lays eggs?"
"A chicken"
"That's correct too but I meant a duck."
Little Jack, getting annoyed, asks the teacher: "What goes into your mouth hard, and comes out soft and wet?"
The teacher starts blushing.
"That's correct too but I meant chewing gum."
There was three brothers: Little Tear, Little Feather and Little Brick
One day, Little Tear asked their mom:
— Mommy, why I'm called 'Little Tear'?
Then Mom said:
— That's because when you were born, a tear dropped in your head.
......
So Little Feather asked:
— And why I'm called like that?
— That's because a feather fell on your head when you were born, son.
......
Lastly, Little Brick asked:
— *ANNNNNNNNNNHHHHAOAOAOOA*
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online
A woman tried to order an exotic snake online, but was surprised to find that when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves
Looks like the boa cons tricked her
A woman gets on a double decker bus.
She steps onto the bus and begins her ascent to the upper deck and a hefty gust of wind comes in and blows her dress up.
The bus driver, looking up the steps at her says but airy up there ma'am
To which she replies, what'd you expect, feathers?
What's the difference between a k**... person and a pervert?
A k**... person uses a feather. A Pervert uses the whole chicken.
Bonus:: Why did the pervert cross the road? He was stuck to the chicken.
What weighs more, a ton of gold or a ton of feathers?
The feathers, cause you have to carry around the weight of what you did to those poor birds
A 50 kg woman , 50 kg of feather , and 50 kg of steel ,which one is heavier?
The woman
Because girls lie about their weight
A Rooster With No Feathers on His r**... Walks into a Bar.....
Bartender: Can I help you?
Bird: I understand you have cocktails
What is the difference between e**... and k**...?
Using a feather is e**.... Using the entire bird is k**...
There were three brothers Feather, Pillow and Brick.
One day Feather went to his mother and asked:
-Mom, why is my name Feather?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a feather fell on your head.
-she replied.
Next day Pillo asked the same question.
-Mom, why is my name Pillow?
-Because when you were born and we brought you home from the hospital a pillow fell on your head.
The third day Brick went up to her mom and goes:
-The Earth is flat!
A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick
A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.
Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother "Mom, why did you named me Drop?"
And she says: "Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head..."
The second kid asks: "Mom, why did you named me Feather?"
She answers: "Because when you were born, a feather fell in your head..."
Finally, the third kid says: "GUhhhGaahh \*loud noises\* HUEHUE"
Sorry guys
I created a poll to see if people preferred pillows stuffed with bird feathers or pillows stuffed with synthetic material.
Synthetic material didn't win. Too many down votes.
There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.
He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I s**... a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son!"
k**...
Q: What is the diffrence between e**... and k**...?
A: e**... is using a feather .....k**... is using the whole chicken
My ex and her parrot.
My ex had a talking parrot. This large kind with curved beak and multicolored feathers.
That disgusting creature talked all day and night never shutting its mouth!
And the parrot had to listen to all that c**....
What is the the difference between e**... and k**...?
e**... is using a feather... k**... is using the whole chicken.
What weighs more, 200 lbs of bricks, or 200 lbs of feathers?
200 lbs of feathers,
Because 200 lbs of bricks are just that, 200 lbs of feathers you have to carry the weight of what you did to all those birds.
What's the difference between a crow and a raven?
A Raven has 17 feathers at the end of it's wing, these feathers help with flight and are known as pinion feathers. Where the Raven has 17 of them a Crow only has 16 of these feathers.
So the difference between a Crow and a Raven is a matter of a pinion.
The difference between ravens and crows
Today I learned there are very few differences between ravens and crows. But one key difference is they have a different amount of tail feathers, so really, the difference is a matter of a pinion.
posted on behalf of my SO
The Marriage,,,
Paula, a mother was anxiously awaiting her daughter
Janet's plane to land. Janet had just come back from abroad trying to find
adventure during her gap year. As Janet was exiting the plane, Paula
noticed a man directly behind her daughter dressed in feathers with exotic
markings all over his body and carrying a shrunken head.
Janet introduced this man as her new husband.
Paula gasped out loud in disbelief and disappointment and screamed, "I
said for you to marry a rich Doctor .... a rich Doctor!"
I was at the YMCA yesterday, and there was a teenage boy sitting outside s**... some feathers..
I said Young man, there's no need to feel down.
Crows v. Ravens
A bird watcher walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I've always wondered, what's the difference between a crow and a raven?" the bartender asks. "Well, ravens and crows both have large feathers on their wings called 'pinions'. Ravens have 4 pinions on each wing while crows only have 3," the bird watcher replies."So if you think about it, it's just a matter of a pinion."
My new pillow make me sad at night
It's filled with goose feathers, and when I go to sleep...
I feel down
What did The Magic Flute opera singer say when his son asked him whether his putting on a costume loaded with feathers meant that he was a homosexual?
Papa gay? No!
I used to feed ducks everyday.
A big group of them, but there was always one that really stood out to me - he always had very rough feathers, always shaking with wide eyes and a chipped beak. Then one day I saw him huddled in a group with a couple other ducks that looked exactly the same, and they all had little packets of white powder in their beaks. Then it clicked:
They were quackheads.
What's the difference between e**... and k**...?
For e**..., you use a feather - for k**..., it's the whole bird.
I walked past a boy sitting on the steps of the local YMCA s**... a large, white feather.
I said "Young man, there's no need to feel down"
