Fearsome Jokes
8 fearsome jokes and hilarious fearsome puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fearsome that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comical Puns & Laughs: Enjoy Fun, Witty Fearsome Jokes with Friends.
What is a good fearsome joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The tiny door to the magic castle was barely big enough to crawl through. It was carved with a half-lion, half-eagle, and guarded by a fearsome raven that would only allow you to pass if you breathed on its foot...
So basically you had to huff n puff on the raven claw then slither in the griffon door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Dungeons and Dragons Joke about the most fearsome of foes: Furniture
The barkeep asked why we carried weapons into his bar.
I said 'Mimics.'
The party laughed.
The barkeep laughed.
The table laughed.
We killed the table. Good times.
What's the most fearsome hot sauce, for vampires?
Buffy-lo sauce.
The Hellarwe tribe.
There's a tribe of pygmies in Africa called the Hellarwe. They're an ancient tribe that settled the tall, savannah grasslands a long time ago and I had the fortune of going to visit them. I actually thought we were lost until I saw a pygmy jump up ahead of us accompanied by his fearsome warcry: "Wherethehellarewe"
Joke Johnny Carson slipped by the censors
I'm not sure if this was an original Carson joke or one he could have borrowed:
One night Johnny got to talking about his Nebraska roots and he told this alleged true story during a sketch scene. Johnny mentioned that the most fearsome Indian tribe were not the Sioux, nor the Apache or even the Comanche Indians. No they were the Fahkarwee tribe!
Johnny went on to explain,: Almost every wagon train that crossed the prairie on their trek to California were known to have their wagon masters and scouts constantly scanning the horizon ahead the entire trip asking, "Where the Fahkarwee?"
"
Two Pirate captains sat at a bar driniking, and they were both each others biggest fan.
"You are quite the Pirate. I know of ye and your men. The most fearsome thing on the sea" Complimented Bloodbeard.
"Well I know too well 'you - "Sea Butcher". One Handed Jack! You are the scourge of the seas! We are indebted to host your accompanyment!"
"Also known are ye for your grammar and acquiestment of English and many languages!"
"But still, you are twice the pirate that I, or any of my men am" said Bloodbeard.
A pirate listening nearby corrected him "Arrgh"
A pirate walks into a bar one day...
...And he sees his old captain sitting down having a drink. So he goes up to say hello and catch up, but he notices that his old captain looks a little different. So he goes over to talk to him. "Captain," he says, "I haven't seen you in years. It's good to see you, but man, you look a little different. I notice that you have a wooden leg! What happened?"
"Gyarr," says the captain, "You be correct. Ya see during a fearsome storm, a huge wave hit me boat, and my leg got trapped under a chain, and ripped it off, so I had to get this here peg leg."
"Wow" says the pirate. "That's terrible. But what happened to your hand? You have a hook now!"
"Gyarr," says the captian, "You be correct. Ya see I was captured by the enemy one day, and they were forcin me to walk the plank, but I turned back and tried to escape, and they cut me hand off, and I had to get this here hook."
Wincing, the pirate says "Christ! Now what happened to your eye? You have a glass eye now."
"Gyarr," says the captain, "You be correct. Well, as I was sailing the sea one day, I happened to look up, and a seagull pooped right in my eye."
Confused, the pirate responds "Well, captain, that sounds bad, but that wouldn't make you lose your eye."
"True," pines the captain, "But it was the first day with me hook."
The Fearsome Pirate
The most fearsome pirate captain on the seven seas is sailing through the Bermuda Triangle when suddenly his first mate comes up next to him and says "Sir, one of the King's ships has been sighted over the horizon. They're armed and we should be ready for battle."
The captain turns around and replies "Aye, thank you matey. Ready the cannons and bring me my red jacket."
The first mate is confused and asks the captain why he needs a red jacket. The captain replies "Arr, if I am shot and the crew sees that I'm bleeding they're liable to be afraid."
The first mate admires the captain's bravery, so he goes off to the captain's quarters to fetch his jacket. Once he comes above deck to find the captain, however, he realizes that just visible on the horizon is an enormous armada of ships - hundreds and hundreds of Royal Navy vessels coming towards them from every possible direction. They are completely surrounded.
The captain whispers to him:
"Aye, matey, find me brown pants."
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