The Best 65 Favourite Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Favourite jokes. There are some favourite catchphrase jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these favourite common puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Favourite Jokes and Puns
My favourite sex position is called "WOW" ...
It's where I flip your MOM over
What's batmans favourite fruit?
Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
My favourite lawyer joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Upon receiving his drink he mutters: 'all
lawyers are assholes.'
A guy down the bar angrily yells: 'HEY!'
'Oh I'm sorry, are you a lawyer?' The man replies.
'No I'm an asshole!'
My favourite Haiku
Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me a meal.....
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me one of her favourite dishes last night.
"What are these little round things", I asked.
"Have you never seen a chick-pea before?", she said.
"Of course I have, my last girlfriend was up for anything, but that doesn't answer my question".
Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect?
FLY, YOU FOOLS!
This was my grandma's favourite joke
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
What's a pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...
What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team?
The New York Jets ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°)
Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night.
Who is the Australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?
Rihanna, mate.
You can explore favourite bestest reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean favourite calibri dad jokes. There are also favourite puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What is an extremist's favourite thing to have sex with?
A blow up doll
What is a pedophile's favourite pair of shoes?
White vans.
My favourite sex position is the JFK
I splatter all over her face and watch her struggle to get out of the car!
I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is.
Maybe Alaska.
Q: What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?
A: Miscarriage
This joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's a pirates favourite letter?
P, because without it they're irate
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp,
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.
What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut?
Command Alt Right.
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
What's DJ Khaleds favourite number?
11 because it has another 1.ο»Ώ
"What's your favourite Pixar film?", my dad asked
I replied, "Up, yours?"
My dad gave me a weird look and said, "No need to be like that, I was only asking."
A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day...
Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate.
What's a gay mole's favourite thing?
Molasses.
What's a pirate's favourite...
What's a pirate's favourite architectural feature?
An *arrr*ch.
What's a pirate's favourite place to play?
A p*arrr*k.
What's a pirate's favourite thing to do to women?
Rape.
I never understood why society romanticises pirates.
My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
I love summer in the UK.
My favourite day of the year.
My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.
That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.
Two wind turbines...
Two wind turbines are in a field when one turns to the other:
He says: "What's your favourite type of music"
The second one says: "Actually I'm a huge metal fan"
What is Hitler's favourite video game?
Mein Kraft
What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear Customer,
Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.
We had random drug testing at work today.
The pcp was my favourite.
My favourite way to dress is all in black.
My sense of fashion is second to nun.
I'll show myself out.
What's my dog's favourite part of the tree?
The bark.
What's my bank's favourite part of the tree?
The branches.
What's my elephant's favourite part of the tree?
The trunk.
What's my father's favourite part of the tree?
The leaves :(
My three favourite things
My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas
My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.
"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"
"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.
"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."
Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour
British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u
What's a pirate's favourite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but 'tis the C his heart truely belongs to.
My ex girlfirend
My ex-girlfriend used to give me nicknames whilst giving me head.
"The Impaler" was my favourite.
Well, at least, that's what I thought she said....
Turns out she's asthmatic and it's my fault she died.
My favourite sex position is called "WOW"...
Its when I flip your MOM.
Poop jokes aren't my favourite kind of joke.
But they are a solid #2.
I was recently asked who my favourite vampire was. I said, the muppet from Sesame Street.
They told me, He doesn't count!
I replied, I assure you, he does.
My favourite word in the world is "bargain".
It means a great deal to me.
My favourite word in the English language is frequently
I try to use it as often as possible
Purple is my least favourite color
I hate it more than red and blue combined.
What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?
HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
It's my cake day humour me.
In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
A friend asked me who my favourite vampire was.
"That puppet from Sesame Street", I replied.
They told me he didn't count.
I said, "I beg to differ...".
Two windmills stood on a hill with a radio.
One turned to his friend and asked, What's your favourite music?
The other windmill said, I'm a big metal fan.
What is a vampire's favourite thing to do?
Crack open a boy with the cold ones.
My favourite childhood memory was making sandcastles with my grandfather.
Until my mother hid his urn away from me.
Credit. Sandi Toksvig
5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour?
Purrrrrr-ple
High fives all round!
What's a pirates favourite letter?
(pause for everyone saying aRrrrrrr)
No, it be the C
My favourite childhood memory is building sand castles with my grandfather
Until my mother took the urn from me
My long past criminally psychopathic grandfather's favourite joke: What do you get if you cut a policeman's head into four pieces?
Police Headquartersβ¦..
What is a pirate's favourite letter in the alphabet?
You think it would be the R, but he's really fond of the C.
Contrary to popular belief, a pirate's favourite letter is not R.
His first love is the C.
Wife was making Canneloni for dinner. I asked her why Canneloni is a surfers favourite dish?
Because theyre tubular, dude.
I received such a satusfying groan. Thats why i do this job.
My friend asked me, What's your favourite Pixar film?
I said, Up. Yours?
He said, Wow! That's super rude.
I love politically incorrect jokes, and here is my favourite.
Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
I asked a Jawa who his favourite magician is
He said "Whodini"
i went to an REM concert back in '92.
They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner.
What is an English teachers favourite food?
Synonym Rolls
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the favourite loved jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working favourite popular piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.