Favourite Jokes
143 favourite jokes and hilarious favourite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about favourite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover some of the best of the best jokes that everyone loves to tell! From favourite child to favourite dinosaur and favourite Christmas cracker, find out your preference in humour and let yourself go, Zing!
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Funniest Favourite Short Jokes
Short favourite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favourite humour may include short favorite food jokes also.
- What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ... - A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
- My favourite childhood memory with my grandad is when i was building a sand castle with him... ...until my mom took the urn back.
- I love politically incorrect jokes, and here is my favourite. Benjamin Franklin was a great American President.
- My favourite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame I love a protagonist with a twisted back story
- i went to an REM concert back in '92. They're my favourite band so I wanted my photo taken with them.
That's me in the corner. - What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? Let's start with one of my favs:
"chuck norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi." - Awful pun I came up with whilst drunk last night. Who is the australian Frankesntein's favourite singer?
Rihanna, mate. - Q: What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing? A: Miscarriage
This joke never gets old, just like the baby. - 5 year old daughters first independent joke: What is a cats favourite colour? Purrrrrr-ple
High fives all round!
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Favourite One Liners
Which favourite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favourite? I can suggest the ones about beloved and favorite childhood.
- What's DJ Khaleds favourite number? 11 because it has another 1.
- What's a pirates favourite letter? P, because without it they're irate
- My favourite word in the world is "bargain". It means a great deal to me.
- What's a gay mole's favourite thing? Molasses.
- I love summer in the UK. My favourite day of the year.
- My favourite Haiku Space is limited
In a haiku, so it's hard
To finish what you - What's The Donald's favourite keyboard shortcut? Command Alt Right.
- What's a pirates favourite letter? (pause for everyone saying aRrrrrrr)
No, it be the C - What's batmans favourite fruit? Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na grapefruit.
- What is a vampire's favourite thing to do? Crack open a boy with the cold ones.
- I wonder what my wife's favourite US state is. Maybe Alaska.
- What's a stormtrooper's favourite store? The one right next to the Target
- Hey, Gandalf! What's your favourite kind of insect? FLY, YOU FOOLS!
- What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- Purple is my least favourite color I hate it more than red and blue combined.
Favourite Christmas Jokes
Here is a list of funny favourite christmas jokes and even better favourite christmas puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a kidnapped child's favourite Christmas Carol? Away with a stranger
- What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his wife when she asked if Christmas was his favourite holiday I still love Easter, Baby.
- You know what's the favourite holiday song in Wales? All I Want For Christmas is Ewe
- What's a chemists favourite thing to do at Christmas? Decorate his chemistree.
- What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song? I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.
- I love the 2003 version of Duvet Know It's Christmas. It's one of my favourite covers.
- You know my favourite christmas song? Its the one about the electronic instruction booklet. Oh come oh come e-manual...
- What's a Christmas tree's favourite TV show? Fraser Fir sure.
- What's Walter White's favourite christmas song? Blue Christmas
- Holiday Humour Why is Christmas General Zod's favourite time of the year?......because it's No-El......
Favourite Colour Jokes
Here is a list of funny favourite colour jokes and even better favourite colour puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u - Whats a wind turbines favourite colour? Blew!
- Two Irishmen are talking ... One says to the other "Y'know, green is my favourite colour in the whole world! In fact, I like it more than blue and yellow combined!"
- What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? Corduroy.
- In the end, it isn't about whether or not someone uses colour or armour or favourite it's all about u
- A good way to start a conversation is 'What's your favorite color'. A good way to end a conversation is What's your favourite colour of a person.
- According to a recent national poll, American's least favourite colour is... Brown.
(Poll conducted by the Federal Elections Commission) - What's a castaway's favourite colour? Maroon
- What's a potato's favourite colour? Idk... Literally
- What is a Communist's favourite colour? Comm-Red
Favourite Child Jokes
Here is a list of funny favourite child jokes and even better favourite child puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My mother always said that she didn't have a favourite child.. Which is pretty rough, because I have no siblings.
- My mum always told me she didn't have a favourite child. Bit sad really. I'm an only child
- I asked my dad who the favourite child was. "Ask your brother," he replied.
"Where is he?" I asked.
He said, "Buried in the garden." - My wife asked me who my favourite child is. I know now that Grogu is not an acceptable response.
- What's a scientist's favourite all-female band? Densities Child.
- My mum told me I was her third favourite child..... .... I'm an only child
- What's a Sudanese child's favourite TV channel? Khartoum Network.
- Whats a childs favourite dinosaur? A Duplodocus
- I was always a favourite child. My parents always let me win at hide and seek. Two weeks was my record.
- If we're all sons and daughters of god... Then was Jesus the favourite child?
Favourite Dinosaur Jokes
Here is a list of funny favourite dinosaur jokes and even better favourite dinosaur puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a dinosaur's favourite poetic meter? Ptero-Dactyls
- What is a Latino's 3rd favourite dinosaur? *Terceratops*
- What's a dinosaur's favourite genre of music? Space Rock, but they don't mind death metal.
Favourite Cracker Jokes
Here is a list of funny favourite cracker jokes and even better favourite cracker puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Every night I like to kick back and relax... I enjoy a fresh glass of milk and a box of my favourite crackers, Triscuits. I know, it ain't the ritz.
Share Hilarious Favourite Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about favourite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean favorite kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favourite pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favourite s**... position is called "WOW" ...
It's where I flip your MOM over
In honour of my first cake day, here's a few of my favourite riddles. Feel free to try them on your friends.
Q: What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?
A: A hole
Q: What two words have thousands of letters in them?
A: Post office
Q: The maker doesn't want it, the buyer doesn't use it and the user doesn't see it. What is it?
A: A coffin
Q: What travels all over the world, but stays in the corner?
A: A stamp
Q: What runs all around a field, but doesn't move?
A: A fence
Q: What starts with E, ends with e and only has one letter in it?
A: Envelope
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favourite lawyer joke
A man walks into a bar and orders a drink.
Upon receiving his drink he mutters: 'all
lawyers are a**....'
A guy down the bar angrily yells: 'HEY!'
'Oh I'm sorry, are you a lawyer?' The man replies.
'No I'm an a**...!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We had random drug testing at work today.
The p**... was my favourite.
This is my dad's (a math major) favourite joke. What's the difference between an Engineer and a Mathematician?
A mathematician and an engineer are living together in a dorm when a fire starts in their room.
The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire. He quickly scans the room and sees a fire extinguisher and goes back to bed, happy knowing a solution exists.
The engineer wakes up, sees the fire and uses the extinguisher to put it out.
What's my dog's favourite part of the tree?
The bark.
What's my bank's favourite part of the tree?
The branches.
What's my elephant's favourite part of the tree?
The trunk.
What's my father's favourite part of the tree?
The leaves :(
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My three favourite things
My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas
My mother asked me to hand out invitations to my brother's surprise party.
That's when I realized he was her favourite twin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is an extremist's favourite thing to have s**... with?
A blow up doll
This was my grandma's favourite joke
Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"
What's Whitney Houston's favourite type of coordination?
HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
It's my cake day humour me.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp,
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.
I was asked who my favourite X-men was the other day...
Apparently Caitlyn Jenner was inappropriate.
My wife thinks I play favourites with my kids.
That's just silly. I love Eric and Not Eric equally.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a pirate's favourite...
What's a pirate's favourite architectural feature?
An *arrr*ch.
What's a pirate's favourite place to play?
A p*arrr*k.
What's a pirate's favourite thing to do to women?
r**....
I never understood why society romanticises pirates.
My favourite word in the English language is frequently
I try to use it as often as possible
"What's your favourite Pixar film?", my dad asked
I replied, "Up, yours?"
My dad gave me a weird look and said, "No need to be like that, I was only asking."
My favourite way to dress is all in black.
My sense of fashion is second to nun.
I'll show myself out.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My brother did one like that after a long string of pirate jokes.
"What's a pirate's favourite crime?"
"Arrrrson," I said, chuckling at my cleverness.
"You idiot," he replied, "it's obviously Piracy."
My favourite joke ever
So a woman is in the hospital, having just given birth to twins. The midwife appears at her side and gravely says that she has some good news and some bad news. The woman asks for her to get the bad news out of the way. "Well," the midwife says, "unfortunately one of the children is ginger".
The Mother laughs and says, "Well then, whats the good news?"
"Its dead", the midwife says.
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me a meal.....
My new vegetarian girlfriend cooked me one of her favourite dishes last night.
"What are these little round things", I asked.
"Have you never seen a chick-pea before?", she said.
"Of course I have, my last girlfriend was up for anything, but that doesn't answer my question".
I love u
It's my favourite vowel.
No Respect
"A girl phoned me up the other day and said, 'Come on over, no one is home.'
I went over there.
And nobody was home!"
Rodney Dangerfield
What are some of your favourites from Mr. No Respect?
What's Santa's favourite heavy metal band?
Sleigher
What's a Philosophers favourite sport?
Discuss
What's a bisexual's favourite food item?
Chestnuts
Joke from my daughter.
What is bruce banners favourite kind of potato?
HULK'S MASH!
no idea where she picked it up from, but it made me chuckle
What's Michelle Obama's favourite vegetable
Barackoli
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My swimming instructor asked me what my favourite s**... was.
Apparently "The one that killed Margaret Thatcher" wasn't the right answer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a 4 year girl and a 40 year old woman?
A 4 year old's favourite toy is a rubber body without any g**.... A 40 year old's favourite toy is a rubber g**... without any body.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The joke I always think of when asked what's your favourite joke?
Didja hear about the Cutlery Gang downtown? They've started pronouncing the silent 'k' in words. Those kniving b**...!
What is Thanos favourite social media?
Obviously Snapchat
"What's your favourite position?" asked my date.
I said, "It's the spider."
She said, "I don't know it."
"Well," I said, "it's when I stand in a corner of the room and you scream naughty things at me."
My favourite exercise
is a cross between a crunch and a lunge... it's called lunch.
My daughter made this tonight: What's the favourite song of sloths?
Don't Hurry, Be Happy
David Cameron
Went to his local butcher. He asked the butcher for a steak. The butcher asked "what is your favourite cut?", David replied, "the public sector".
Semantics really
I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".
I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two men playing golf (a favourite of mine)
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long f**... procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.
His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man."
The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
What's a bulimic cheerleaders favourite restaurant?
In'n'Out Burger
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg
so I said to him, 'Which is your favourite Christian festival?'
He replied 'Have to love Easter, baby.'
Irish pubs are the best
As good as this bar is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink."
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "At my local in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in Cork at my favourite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of these claims. The Irishman swore every word was true, but they asked, "Did this actually happen to you?"
"Not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman, "but it did happen to me sister quite a few times
One of my favourite jokes. Might take a minute to sink in...
I saw a guy having an epileptic fit in a nightclub. Everyone was just standing around watching, pointing at him and talking about it. "Look!! That guy's having a fit!!" etc...
I said "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer."
My favourite thing to do is to walk into book stores and say Hello! I'm looking for a book titled 'How to deal with rejection without killing'.
Do you have it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Three men compare how they control their wives...
Three friends are sitting in a bar after a day of work, discussing their lives when the topic of conversation turns to how often they fight with their wives. The first guy says, "I just put my foot down and tell her what's what, and there's no more arguing after that. Then I get the TV to myself all night."
The second guy says, "I just keep repeating my point until she sees the light. Then she always makes my favourite dinner and gives me a back rub."
The third guy says, "Every time we argue, my wife is always on her hands and knees by the end of it."
The other two look at him, impressed. "Then what happens?" The second one asks.
"Well," the third says, " then she says 'Get out from under the bed and fight me you p**...!' "
I'm looking for jokes that you have to work out. My favourite is the one in the below, which was posted here by another user. Does anyone else have any similar ones that you have to think about before finding the funny?
In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.
To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.
My favourite word in the dictionary is toned
Great definition
What is the Jenovah Witnesses' favourite band?
The doors.
My favourite joke
So a guy goes into a pub, walks up to the bar and asks for a pint.
The barman replies: one pound please. The guy says back: only one pound?!
The barman replies: aye only a pound.
The guy takes his pint and enjoys it and after a few more pints at a pound each the guy feels cheeky.
The guy says: ill have a steak and chips mate.
The barman replies: three quid.
The guy then asked: do you own this pub?
The barman replies: no.
The guy then asked: wheres the boss then? I want to ask why the prices are so low.
The barman replies: he's upstairs with my wife.
The guy then asked: why? Whats he doing with your wife?
The barman replies: the same thing i'm doing to his business.
What is Donald Trump's favourite nation?
Discrimination
What is Thanos' favourite game?
Half-Life.
I made a pencil with two erasers.
It was pointless...
PS: I actually didn't, but it's my favourite bad joke, and it's my cake day, so I can do whatever I want!
Edit #1: If you didn't see my comment somehow, I feel scammed, because at the time of posting this, I yet had like 2 hours of my cake day left. I guess Reddit doesn't use European time...
Edit #2: I feel honoured to receive my first award ever!
I'm opening a restaurant called "whatever"
It'll immediately be every girlfriend's favourite spot.
Watching your wife in childbirth...
Is like watching your favourite pub burn down.
My dad's favourite joke - Harry the vampire bat
So one day Harry the vampire bat gets back to his cave, with his entire face absolutely covered with blood. All the other bats are incredulous, demanding where Harry found all the blood. Harry agrees to show them. So they all follow Harry out of the cave, over the river, and through some fields, until they get to a field with a single tree in the middle of it. All the bats are impatient, saying 'Harry is the blood here? Where is it, man? Harry replied 'You see that tree there? I didn't.'
