JokoJokes

Favorite Kid Jokes

93 favorite kid jokes and hilarious favorite kid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about favorite kid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Favorite Kid Short Jokes

Short favorite kid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favorite kid humour may include short favourite child jokes also.

  1. What is Pac-Man's favorite cooking utensil? A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
  2. This is ridiculous. It's July 6th and people are still setting off fireworks. One almost caught our christmas decoration on fire.
  3. My favorite Christmas joke: Why do Mexicans have tamale making parties on Christmas Eve? So the kids have something to unwrap on Christmas morning.
  4. As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah, I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed
  5. Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli. Commander in Cheese Meltdown.
    They put it on the kid's menu.
  6. My kids got so mad when I cooked pancakes for breakfast Seems he was their favorite rabbit
  7. (taken from my kid's favorite show 'Arthur') What is a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and Ships
  8. Black kids play NBA 2K... and then go to the basketball court to be like their favorite player.
    White kids play Call of Duty, then go to school to get the highest kill streak possible.
  9. My favorite vegetable... I work at a grocery store. This kid comes up to me today and asks me what my favorite vegetable is.
    Cauliflower, I tell him. What about yours?
    Grampa, he replied.
  10. I cooked Pancakes this morning. I was thrilled but my kids weren't. Apparently, he was their favorite rabbit.

Share These Favorite Kid Jokes With Friends




Favorite Kid One Liners

Which favorite kid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favorite kid? I can suggest the ones about fun kid and friendly kid.

  1. I love talking to kids Adults never ask me what my 3rd favorite reptile is.
  2. What's an epileptic kid's favorite restaurant? Little Seizures
  3. Subway released their new kids menu. They say it's Jared's favorite.
  4. What's a mortician's least favorite day on the job? Bring Your Kid to Work Day
  5. What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show? 19 Kids and Counting
  6. What's an unvaccinated kid's favorite Beatles song? When I'm Four
  7. Of all the lies I've told... Just kidding is my favorite!
  8. What is a black guy's favorite game to play with the kids? Peekaboo.
  9. Q: What is a banana's favorite gymnastic move?
    A: The splits!
  10. What is a kid with asthma's favorite band? Weezer
  11. What's a down syndrome's kids favorite thing to do at prom? Slow Dancing.
  12. One of my favorite kid jokes: what did the snail say when riding the turtle? Slow down!
  13. What is a down syndrome kid's favorite number? 321
  14. What's a fat kids favourite instrument? The dinner bell
  15. What is a creep's favorite musical key? The cute toy one that "opens" your kid's diary.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about favorite kid can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of favorite kid puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Favorite Kid Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about favorite kid you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean quiet kid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make favorite kid prank.

Three boys were discussing their fathers' favorite foods. The first kid said his father loves to eat burgers. The second boy said his father loves KFC. The third boy said his father loves to eat light. The other two boys questioned how his father does that. The third boy replied, "Every night I hear my daddy tell mommy to turn off the light so he can eat it."

Q: What was h**...'s favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.

Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother.
Johnny: "Why is this t**... commercial so long?"
Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210."
Johnny: ...

I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.

I went for a walk through Memory Lane today.

I found some boxes in my closet. In it were old family relics. My great-great grandfather's World War One helmet was the first thing I saw. There was also my grandmother's surgical gear when she was a nurse in the local hospital, and countless heirlooms I can't possibly list all of which.
Then, I got to the one that sparked the most memories: My grandfather's collecting hobby.
Every day since January 1st, 1949, he collected ties with funny designs and wore them to work. Some had cats, or snakes or airplanes. He had close to 100 by the time he died several years ago. I remember as a kid how much I loved them, he had stories of what happened to him while.he wore those ties. He had an awesome memory and was good at telling stories.
When he passed, he left them to me. I couldn't keep all 100, and I also gave some to my cousins, but I decided to keep the ties that were his absolute favorites: his chicken pattern ties.
One day, he wore his first chicken tie when he met my grandmother. From then, he collected more chicken ties to remind him of her. I wear them every now and again, as well.
Thanks for reading this. I like to talk about them, but all my friends act weird when I tell them about my granddad's Hen Tie collection.

My kids favorite knock knock joke

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting C..**MOO!!**
.
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Interrupting Chicken.
*sigh* Interrupting Ch **BOCK BOCK BOCK!!!!**
.
Knock Knock
*sigh* Whose there?
Interrupting Fish.
*ponders* Interrupting F.. *SLAP! SLAP!* OW!!!

My favorite joke since I was a kid

Two guys are walking down the side of the road in a rural area somewhere. All of a sudden, in the middle of the road, a huge hole appears. Curious, the two men peer down inside to see how deep it goes, but can't see the bottom. One saunters to the side of the road to find a pebble, throws it in, and listens; they don't hear it hit bottom. The other goes to the side to find a larger rock, throws it in, and listens; they still don't hear it hit bottom. They look at each other, and go find a log off to the side of the road, roll it in, and wait for it to hit bottom. All of a sudden, a goat runs out of the woods at high speed, and jumps down the hole. They look at each other quizzically, shrug, and keep walking. A few minutes later, an exasperated farmer steps onto the road out of the brush. He looks at the men and asks "Have either of you seen a goat around here?" The men look at the farmer and say "Yes, actually. A goat came out of the woods back there and jumped into this giant hole." The farmer replies "That couldn't have been my goat; my goat was tied to a log."

Desperately Seeking Humor

The jokes here have gotten so bad and reposted that it makes me think back to my childhood for something we found funny, as kids. What better place to share our fave brand of cruelty humor than here. Apologies if this has ever been brought up here before. I'm desperate, please add your favorite cruelty jokes. Short list, I'll try to remember more.
What do you call a girl hanging on a fence? Barb
What do you call a quadraplegic in a swimming pool? Bob
What do you call a girl with one leg? Peg
What do you call a girl midget? Minnie
What do you call a quadriplegic at the ballpark? Home Plate
What do you call a girl who puts out on the first date? Lucy
Help me out here...

Racist joke. If you're going to get offended just don't read it.

A young black kid observed that there seemed to be some advantages in being white, so he went off and painted himself white all over. He went and showed his mother who roused on him, and told him to go and show his father. This he did, and his father not only roared at him for being so silly, but cuffed him over the ears and sent him on his way. The boy went on and sat on his favorite log pondering his position and feeling very glum. His mate came along and asked him what was wrong. "I've only been a white kid for half and hour," he replied, "and I hate those
black b**... already!"

My favorite joke as a kid

A duck walks into a hardware store, goes up to the man attending the counter, and asks "Excuse me sir, do you sell any duck food here?" The man simply nods no and the duck leaves.
The next day, the duck returns to the same store. The same guy is behind the counter and once again, the duck asks "Excuse me sir, do you have any duck food today?" The man, perplexed, looks at the duck and says "This is a hardware store. We don't sell duck food. Go away." The duck leaves.
The duck returned to the same hardware store everyday for a week, same guy behind the counter each time. After the 9th visit, the guy gets really angry, looks at the duck and yells "LISTEN HERE YOU s**... DUCK! I DON'T SELL DUCK FOOD! NOT TODAY, OR EVER! IF YOU COME BACK IN HERE I'M GOING TO HIT YOU WITH A HAMMER!" The duck ran out of the store.
A couple of days passed. The duck peaks his head into the store, looks around, and then enters. He walks up to the guys and asks "Excuse me sir, I noticed that you were out of hammers in isle 5. Do you have any in back?" The guy looks at the duck and says "Sure don't. Sold out this morning." The duck looks around a says "Well if that's the case... Do you by chance have any duck food?"

My favorite racist joke is more funny than it is offensive -

On the elementary school playground, there was a group of boys that liked to play basketball. Tyrone, a fourth grader, was the only black boy in the school, and far outperformed his peers in most athletic contests. He could run faster and jump higher than any other student at the school. He could easily outrun and out jump even the fastest and tallest fifth and sixth grade boys. When they played basketball, Tyrone's team could only play three players at a time to be fair, and he was still always picked first.
"You're the best at basketball because you're black, Tyrone," the other boys would say. Tyrone would wonder about this. His mama always told him not to think he was any different than any of those white boys. Being black didn't mean he was any better or any worse than anyone else. But he was obviously better at basketball than any of the white kids at his elementary school, so what else could it be?
Tyrone got home from school one day and asked his mama, "Mama, I can jump higher and run faster than any of the other kids at the school. Even the fifth and sixth graders. Is it a 'cause I'm black?"
"Naw," Mama said, "you's the fastest runner and highest jumper 'coz you's the only one who's twenty two."

Philosophy 112, or the joke that I just told in a dream and have to write down for posterity

Take this guy, Bob. He's coming into his early 40s, and goes into a midlife crisis. He tells his wife he wants to go back to school and study all the stuff he never got to when he was working so hard as a kid. She's fully supportive, feeling there are worse things he could be doing in this phase of his life, and they get him enrolled at a local university.
Bob starts taking random b**... classes. His first semester he takes Archaeology 101, Sociology 102, and his favorite, Philosophy 112: History of early modern philosophy. He starts learning about all the great thinkers who laid the groundwork for all of our thinking today, and he just falls in love with it. Doesn't care he's surrounded by 18 year olds for six hours a week, he just dives right in.
One day, his buddy Jim calls him up to talk. Jim's also going through a midlife crisis. He's doing a much more destructive path, however. He calls Bob up and tells him he knows of an excellent e**... service. He says they should take a "business trip," have a little fun, the wife doesn't need to know.
Bob thinks about it, and says, "No, I've got a huge philosophy paper due in a couple days and I should work on that."
Jim looks at him like he's insane, calls him a p**..., and storms away. But Bob is confident.
Bob knows that sometimes, it's good to put Descartes before the w**....

A young man was sent to prison,

Upon his arrival an older man welcomed him to make sure he was comfortable.
The older man asked "Do you like baseball?" the young man replied "of course, I loved playing it as a kid" the older man said "we'll that's great we play baseball all day Monday".
The older man asked "Do you like movies?" The young man replied, "yes, I love watching a good movie" the older man replied "that's great, Tuesday is movie night."
Next the old man asked "Do you like Italian food?" The young man replied "yes, that's actually my favorite". The old man replied "Wonderful, on Wednesdays its Italian food night in the cafeteria".
Lastly the old man ask "Son, are you a homosexual?" The young man replied "No sir, I have a wife on the outside. The older man replied "Well young man, you're not going to enjoy Thursday nights."

A man walks into a bar with a dog...

A man walks into a bar with a dog, and says he'll bets $50 his dog can talk. The bartender, thinking that's ridiculous, takes up his offer. The man asks the dog
"What do you find on top of a house?"
"Roof!" the dog replies.
"Hey, that's not fair, ask it a real question!" says the bartender. The man asks again
"What do you find on a tree?"
"Bark!" answers the dog again.
"Are you kidding me? Ask it something a human could answer or I'm k**... you out." The man asks the dog
'Who's the best baseball player?" The dog replies
"Ruth!" and the bartender angrily kicks them out. Outside, the dog looks at it's owner, and says "DiMaggio?"
(Sorry it's kinda lame, but it's one of my favorite)

So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child.

So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child. The judge ask the woman why should you get the the kid and she is saying how she was in labor and held the child in her w**..... The judge says good argument now Mr. Jones your argument.. He sits there and thinks for a moment and says if you put a dollar in a coke machine is the coke yours or the machines?

Two of my favorite jokes by my favorite comedian

"Me and girlfriend..... we're not together anymore. She's got a new boyfriend now. They just moved in together. Actually, I've heard rumors that he's abusive, which kinda makes me want to go over there with a baseball bat...... and then blame it on her boyfriend."
"My girlfriend has the greatest story as to why she isn't religious anymore.
When she was a kid, like 12 years old, her parents nailed a 25 pound crucifix to the wall right above her bed. About two weeks later, in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall and leaves a two inch gash in the back of her dad's head." - Anthony Jeselnik

My favorite kids joke

One Sunday afternoon Rain Drop, the oldest child, grows curious and asks her mother:
"mother, why did you name me Rain Drop?"
"February 22, it was a winter night when I had you, me and your father took you out of the hospital as soon as you were born. It was raining outside and the first thing that touched your forehead was a clear cold rain drop, so we names you after that."
Rain Drop excited tells his brother and sister. Her sister, Snow Flake, asks her father:
"Father, why did you name me Snow Flake?"
"It was December 21, and you were just born that morning. Your mother and I took you outside from the warm hospital to the cold winter weather. As we let you see the sky a tender snow flake falls and vanishes in your pink lips. And that's why we named you Snow Flake"

Then bowling ball asks the mom
"Wysfodletlkqsquipeso!?"

Tell your favorite f**... joke growing up. More terrible the better.

Three men jumped out of an airplane. The first one jumped and dropped a penny. When he landed, he found a boy crying, and asked him why he was crying. He of course said, a penny fell on his head.
A second man jumped and dropped an apple. He found another kid crying, and he asked why. The boy said an apple hit him in the head.
The third man jumped and dropped a grenade. He found a boy laughing his eyes out when he landed. He asked the boy what was so funny and he said, "When I f**..., my house blew up."
Third grade forever

Robin Williams' Favorite Joke

Guy's having s**... with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away. The guy says to his wife, ''Well, I'd better talk to Timmy.''
He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy's room. He opens the door , and there's Timmy nailing Grandma. The father goes ''Oh, my God!'' And the kid goes, ''Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"

My favorite joke when I was a kid..

There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.
The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"
The Italian throws out pasta.
The Chinese throws out rice.
The Mexican throws out oranges.
The American throws out the mexican.

Books Never Written

Hey guys, don't know if you're familiar with these kind of jokes, but they were my favorite growing up, so I thought I'd post a bunch of the here. They're pretty corny, but I hope you enjoy!
*Take A Breather* by Justin Hale
*How to Become Famous* by Anonymous
*Living Long* by Diane Perish
*How to Get Rich* by Robin A. Bank
*I'm So Greedy* by Jenna Russ
*How to Drive a Manual Transmission* by Otto Matic
*How to be a Great Pilot* by Mae Day
*Where to Find Wildebeests* By Sara N. Getti
*Raising Kids* by Bill E. Goat
*Warriors of Feudal Japan* by Sam A. Rye
*Woodwind Instruments* by Clara Net
*Tragedy at the Grand Canyon* by Eileen Dover
*The Human Brain* by Sir E. Brum and Sara Bellum
*Deep in Debt* by Owen A. Lott
*The World is a Big Place* by Mike Robe
*Confessions of a Mental Patient* by Justin Sane

Favorite Dad Joke

My 4 year old cousin needs help putting her shoes on.
Cousin to my dad: "Can you put my shoes on?"
Dad: "Well I'll try but I don't think they're going to fit."
(As he tries to stuff his foot into a size 3 kids shoe)

Whos jared fogles favorite outlaw...

...Billy the kid

What's the Priest favorite breakfast?

Kids.

A mother has 3 kids

A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"

The Columbine

My Favorite s**... position is The Columbine
Me and a friend walk in, spray a bunch of kids, then finish each other off.

What's a karate kid's favorite sweet?

Taekwondonuts

What's a dead kid's favorite sweet?

Ice cremation

What group of words begins with "M" and ends with "arriage", and is kids favorite thing

Midget Horse Carriage

A long time ago, an Indian chief fell into an outhouse.

An Indian chief fell into an outhouse.
Several days later a man went into the outhouse and noticed the chief. Startled the man asked, "How long have you been in there?"
"Many moons my son, many moons!"
And that was my favorite joke as a kid.

What's an Indian kid's favorite TV show?

Patelie Tubbies

A Girl Named Texas

A girl named Texas lived with her brother Austin. The two had a father whose favorite knife of his was always left on the counter of his room. One day, Austin, being the little kid he is, grabs the knife and accidentally stabs Texas. The dad comes home from work a few hours later and sees his favorite knife missing. He then asks Austin who was alone with Texas,
"Austin, have you seen my knife"
Austin Replies
"It's Deep In The Heart of Texas"

Hey kids! What's some dogs favorite movie?

"Bark to the Future"......, I say "some dogs" for legal reasons.

Stay neglectful my friends

I adopted 3 kids recently and named them after my favorite beers; Bud Light, Miller Light, and Dos Equis. I work long days and am occasionally allowed to bring one child with me to the office. When faced with the decision of which child to take with me to work I always pick Dos Equis, because I don't always watch my kids but when I do I prefer Dos Equis.

A kid asked his mother why his sister was named rose.

His mother replied to him, explaining that roses were her favorite color.
He then asked her the same question in regards to his own name.
"You'll get it when you're older, Richard," she responded.
E: I know I said color instead of flower, but I am leaving it.

What's a scene kids favorite number?

CX

What is Roy Moore's Favorite Cereal?

Trix.
Because they are for kids.

What's a Soviet's favorite drink?

Leninade!
Just kidding it's v**...

People blame video games for kids shooting up schools

If video games are so violent, then what's h**...'s favorite game?

What was lil pumps favorite food as a kid?

Essketti.

What's a black kids favorite video game?

Minescraft

Interviewer: What is your favorite s**... phrase?

Pastor: Are you ready kids!

What was h**...'s favorite TV show as a kid?

Thomas the tank engine

What's a child psychologists favorite song?

The kids aren't alright - The Offspring

What is the angry German kids favorite number?

99999999999999999999

What is an English kids favorite letter?

T.

When I was a kid I could go to the store with only $5 and come home with bread, milk, hotdogs and my favorite candy. You can't do that these days...

Too many d**... security cameras.

So I asked a kid from Saudi Arabia what his favorite method of s**... was

He perked up and said you want to know how to start a newspaper column

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite beer?

A double IPA because of it's high alcohol content he can get drunk quick, after dealing with those kids all day.
Oh... the the fact that it's extra hoppy is just a bonus!

True story: My kids jokingly called me their favorite mom the other day. (I'm their dad.)

Me: No, then you wouldn't be able to see me.
Kids: *[visible confusion]*
Me: I'd be trans-parent.
-
^(Follow-up: I'm sorry to inform you that the kids perished from complications related to excessive eye rolling.)

How to catch a polar bear.

In honor of my Grandpa, here is my favorite Dad joke, that he told me when I was a young one, and that I, in turn, have shared with each of my kids.
How to catch a polar bear:
Step 1: Go to a frozen lake way up north.
Step 2: Cut a 6 foot hole in the ice
Step 3: Place frozen peas all along the border of the hole in the ice.
Step 4: Hide
Step 5: When a polar bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.

Do you know why they don't send donkeys to school?

Nobody likes a smart a**....
My dad's favorite to a smart-a**... kid

There was a big m**... and a little m**... sitting on a log.

The big m**... fell off!! Why didn't the little one?
Because, he was a little more on!!!
- this was my FAVORITE joke as a kid. I still like it.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these favorite kid jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.