Favorite Jokes
182 favorite jokes and hilarious favorite puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about favorite that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Everyone loves a good laugh! Check out this article featuring some of the best jokes out there - whether it be something you can share with your favorite kid, your favorite lawyer, or your favorite Halloween party guest. Get ready to have a good time with these favorites from Eminem, the world's bestest jokes, and more!
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Funniest Favorite Short Jokes
Short favorite jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favorite humour may include short favourite jokes also.
- Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat? You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
- Oh man you know what my favorite thing about being russian is? Getting to vote in American elections.
- My girlfriend asked me who my favorite vampire is. I replied, "The one from Sesame Street."
She said, "He doesn't count."
"Oh I assure you, he does." - What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard? My personal favorite is: chuck norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
- What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind . - What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
- After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You cant do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" - What is Pac-Man's favorite cooking utensil? A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
- My favorite Dad joke, because it's my cake day. Why does a chicken coup only have two doors?
Because if it had four doors, it would be a sedan. - In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
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Favorite One Liners
Which favorite one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favorite? I can suggest the ones about popular and prefer.
- What's Mitch McConnell's favorite movie? Kill bill.
- What's the police's favorite gaming console? WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U
- What is Harry Potter's favorite way to get down a hill? walking.
…
j/k…rolling. - What's Sisyphus' least favorite band? Rolling Stones
- What's Icarus' least favorite food? hot wings
- What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools
- What is Samsung CEO's favorite movie Total recall
- What's a comedians least favorite drink? Booze
- Purple is my favorite color! I like it more than blue and red combined.
- Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta
- What is Leonardo decaprio's favorite movie? constanTEEN
- What was Tasha Yars' favorite job? Data Entry
- my 12 year old just got me: what is a kidnappers favorite shoes? White vans.
- What is a lesbian's most favorite chocolate? Her/she's kisses.
- What's Hillary Clinton's favorite Christmas carol? Depends, what is yours?
Favorite Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite food jokes and even better favorite food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD.
I peed - What was Hannibal Lecter's favorite Japanese food? Rawmen
- What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint? Five Guys.
- What is a vampires least favorite food? Steak!
...I'll see myself out now. - What's a mod's favorite food? Bancakes
- What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls
- What is Marie Curie's favorite food? Fission chips.
- I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie But some people say that's irrational...
- What is Gru's favorite food? Filet Minion
- What it Princess Zelda's favorite food? Hot Links
Favorite Drink Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite drink jokes and even better favorite drink puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is an english teacher's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird
- Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
- What's an author's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P) - What is a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up n cider
- What's a Maths student's favorite drink? Probably tea.
- What's a Karen's favorite drink? Whine
- What's the favorite drink of every British serial killer? Casual tea
- What's a crow's favorite drink? CAW-fee.
- What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink? Sprite.
- Whats an alcoholic motorcycle's favorite drink? RUUUMrumrumrumrumrumrumRUMRUUUUMMMrumrumrum
Favorite Kid Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite kid jokes and even better favorite kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What is a nice guys' favorite cooking utensil? M'Ladle
*tips fedora*
Just kidding, it's his mom. He doesn't cook. - How does a redditor get karma when they don't deserve it? Piece of ca.....I'm just kidding they ask what's a flat earther's favorite Christmas decoration?
Their s'no globe. - I love talking to kids Adults never ask me what my 3rd favorite reptile is.
- Subway released their new kids menu. They say it's Jared's favorite.
- What's a mortician's least favorite day on the job? Bring Your Kid to Work Day
- What's Subway Jared's favorite TV show? 19 Kids and Counting
- What's an unvaccinated kid's favorite Beatles song? When I'm Four
- As a kid my favorite superhero was The Flash and my favorite animal was the cheetah, I guess that explains why I'm now addicted to speed
- Trump got a sandwich named after him at his favorite deli. Commander in Cheese Meltdown.
They put it on the kid's menu. - My kids got so mad when I cooked pancakes for breakfast Seems he was their favorite rabbit
Favorite Color Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite color jokes and even better favorite color puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u - Green is my favorite color. I like it better than blue and yellow combined.
- What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.
- What's a cats favorite color? Purrrple!
(Told by my 5yo niece.) - What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon
- What’s a librarian’s favorite color? Read.
- What is a telephone's favorite color? Green green, green green
- What is a Vietnamese's favorite color? Not orange.
- What did Pete Townsend say when Roger Daltrey told him that he'd lost his favorite old lime-colored belt? "Relax. It's only a green, aged, waistband."
- I'm torn: on the one hand, I absolutely hate xenophobia, sexism, and racism on the other hand, orange is my favorite color.
Favorite Child Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite child jokes and even better favorite child puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife always accuses me of having a favorite child. It's not true, I love Matthew and Not-Matthew equally.
- I remember my mother telling me, I have no favorite child. Harsh seeing as I'm an only child.
- My parents insisted that they never had a favorite child when I grew up I'm an only child :(
- Turns out when asked who your favorite child is... You're supposed to pick your own.
- I lost my favorite ash tray. Child Protective Services took him.
- I asked my mother who was her favorite child... She thought for a second and said, "Do I have to pick one of mine?"
- Its pretty easy to tell who my dad's favorite child is. Mostly because I'm an only child.
- Not being the favorite child, how did it affect me, you asked? It makes me want to have siblings.
- I asked my mom who her favorite child is She said could never answer a question like that but the dog was second.
- My favorite book as a child was... ...'I Fell Off Mt Everest' by Eileen Dover.
Hilarious Fun Favorite Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about favorite you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean favourite child jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favorite pranks.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
My favorite burn I've gotten for being trans
I was born female and transitioned to male. Early on in my transition, my gf and I were playing a video game, and I called her a noob when she died.
Her: Yeah okay Pinocchio.
Me: Pinocchio?
Her: You know... "I want to be a real boy!"
For cake day, I wanted to share my grandpa's favorite joke when I was growing up: Wanna hear a dirty joke?
-A man fell in a mud puddle.
Wanna hear a clean joke?
-The man took a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirtier joke?
-Bubbles was the woman next door.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite s**... position is called "the JFK"...
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what is Amber Heard's favorite board game?
**SCATAGORIE**
My favorite thing about Vladimir Putin...
... is that he has managed to take Russia's military from being the second most powerful in the world *allllllll* the way to being the second most powerful in Ukraine.
My wife gave me some bad news today
"But," she said, "I bought your favorite soy sauce to help cheer you up."
"Great," I said. "Just Kikkoman when he's down, huh?"
I'm very soy for that pun. I'll just wok away now.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
What is a pirates favorite letter?
The one from the Governor telling him he's been pardoned.
A dog and a cat were having an argument on who is the favorite of humans
The dog says, Humans like us more. They even named a tooth (canine) after us. Naming such an important body part after us shows that they like us more.
The cat smiles and says, You're not really going to win this one you know.
As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning...
Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Me: ARRRGH!
Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's red and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
This was my grandfathers all time favorite joke.
Pop Pop: What's red and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
Me: I don't know...
Pop Pop: A Red d**... dangle of course!
Pop Pop: What's green and d**... dangles from the ceiling?
Me: A green d**... dangle!
Pop Pop: No they only come in Red.
Me: :|
Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced...
My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!
What makes you say that? the bartender inquired.
Last week, Bill explained, I had to take a couple of sick days from work. Suzie was so thrilled to have me around that every time the milkman or mailman came by, she'd run down the driveway waving her arms and hollering, 'My husband's home! My husband's home!'
For my cake day, I'd like to share my favorite joke of all time.
Three guys were walking down the street.
Two of them walked into a bar.
The third guy ducked.
What's a gay man's favorite planet?
Earth, most likely. Unless he's personally interested in space exploration, in which case he might say Mars.
Haven't seen this joke on here yet, it's my favorite.
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table.
He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!".
She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?".
The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now!".
What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYEEEEEEEEE
What is matthew mcconaughey' least favorite part of interstellar?
"The girls get older, but he stays the same age"
-first attempt at a original joke (apologies if its a repost that I'm unaware of)
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
My daughters favorite joke...
What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?
One requires tweetment, and the other requires oinkment.
If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.
If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Robin Williams' Favorite Joke
Guy's having s**... with his wife. All of a sudden he looks over, and there in the doorway is his son, about eight years old. Kid looks horrified, and the kid runs away. The guy says to his wife, ''Well, I'd better talk to Timmy.''
He puts on his clothes and goes to Timmy's room. He opens the door , and there's Timmy nailing Grandma. The father goes ''Oh, my God!'' And the kid goes, ''Not so funny when it's your mom, is it?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old man is at home on his death bed
When suddenly he smells something amazing. It's the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, "No, they are for the f**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Jewish way
As a Jew I have a soft spot for jokes about my own people, and this is one of my favorites that isn't so well known.
A Jewish man walks into a w**.... The madame asks him what he'd like. He asks if any of the women there can have s**... "the Jewish way". Puzzled, she goes to each of the unoccupied rooms, and asks the woman inside if she's familiar with having s**... the Jewish way. Finally, they get to the last room. Inside is a p**... who's extremely talented, and is one of the most expensive in the area. She asks, "do you know how to have s**... the Jewish way? This man's looking for a woman who does". She responds, "no, I haven't. But to stay at the top of my profession, I'm always looking to improve. If you teach me how to have s**... the Jewish way, we'll do that free of charge".
The man accepts the offer, and they have s**.... She's surprised to find that it's just regular s**...! Afterwards, she asks "What were you talking about, 'the Jewish way'? You just had s**... with me, the most expensive h**... in town, for free?!" He smiles and replies, "that's the Jewish way!".
If I had 5 dollars in one pocket and 5 dollars in the other what do I have?
Someone else's pants on.
My grandfathers favorite joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy visits his favorite d**...
He puts his money on the bedside table and says I've been bad, mistress. I need to be punished.
She makes him s**... and bend over as she whips his quivering bottom.
Next she makes him crawl into bed and ties him securely to the bedposts.
She runs her whip over his flesh and, as he wriggles in anticipation, the bed posts break and his arms come free.
Don't worry, I can fix this he says, as he runs out to his car. He returns in a few minutes with some tools and gets to work.
In a few minutes the bedposts are fixed.
He looks admiringly at his handiwork and beams.
Good as new, mistress!
She says This sub really loves reposts.
Bartender: this scotch is my favorite, it's aged twenty fi----
Leonardo DiCaprio: [spits it out]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was eating a steak in my favorite restaurant, when a girl came to my table and shouted at me: "Enjoying your meat, m**...?!"
Seriously Rachel it was 15 years ago and your dad had a knife. Jeez.
When I was younger one of my favorite jokes to tell was about a 4,000 lb. elephant. I tried to convert it to metric to share with the rest of the world.
But, it never got a laugh. Just these looks of mass confusion.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
What's a Communist's favorite video game?
*Don't Starve*
Just got scammed out of $15.
Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favorite 18 Holes." Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...?
Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
A world renowned chemist dies.
A world renowned chemist dies. His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body. They go to his wife and ask "Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?
To which she replies
"No, just Barium"
I have heard that a pirate's favorite letter is "R" or sometimes "C"...
but when I took one's "P" away they became irate.
What is Goofy's favorite brand of shoes?
Hyuck Taylors
Communist jokes aren't funny
Unless everyone gets them.
My favorite joke for my cake day
My favorite type of bra
is algebra.
My favorite rapper is 50 cent
Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.
What is a Linux user's favorite game?
sudo ku
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a m**... cow?
Beef stroganoff.
My favorite joke I was told as a child.
What is a cannibals favorite restaurant?
Five Guys
What's a pirate's favorite musical note?
The High Cs
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken p**... pie and omitting commas.
What does the Fox say?
We're canceling all of your favorite shows.
Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?
Oscar
im so sorry
Letter to God
Dear God,
Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.
What is Jimmy McGill's favorite cut of meat?
Chuck roast.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a r**...'s favorite dating website?
Ancestry.com
Getting my kite stuck in a tree isn't my favorite thing...
But it's up there.
What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game?
First person shooter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I tried to translate my German grandfathers' favorite joke
A woman walks past a pet shop. In front of the store there is a cage with a parrot, that suddenly starts talking to the woman: "You're ugly"
The woman quickly walks away.
At the next day the woman again walks past the shop and the parrot again says "You're ugly".
This time the woman goes in the shop and complains to the salesman.
The salesman apologizes and tells the parrot to not say this ever again.
The next day the woman again walks past the pet shop and is happy to see the parrot turned completely silent. Provokingly she slows down. Suddenly the parrot starts screeching:
"I'm not saying anything but you know it!"
