Favorite Drink Jokes
122 favorite drink jokes and hilarious favorite drink puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about favorite drink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Favorite Drink Short Jokes
Short favorite drink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favorite drink humour may include short favorite food jokes also.
- In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice." - It's a good thing our favorite sports drink was invented at University of Florida… If it was developed at Florida State University, Gatorade might have been called Seminole Fluid instead.
- Whats an alcoholic motorcycle's favorite drink? RUUUMrumrumrumrumrumrumRUMRUUUUMMMrumrumrum
- Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
- What's a trees favorite drink? Root beer.
- you know what Bruce Lee's favorite drink was? WATAHHH!!!!
- Bruce Lee's favorite drink Wataaaaa!!!
- What's a Judge's favorite drink? Guil-tea!
- What is a Sith Lord's favorite drink at the bar? A Palpitini
- My Utahn grandpa's favorite joke: why should you always bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing? Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
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Favorite Drink One Liners
Which favorite drink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favorite drink? I can suggest the ones about soft drink and energy drink.
- What's a comedians least favorite drink? Booze
- What is an english teacher's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird
- Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
- What's an author's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P) - What is a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up n cider
- What's a Maths student's favorite drink? Probably tea.
- What's a Karen's favorite drink? Whine
- What's the favorite drink of every British serial killer? Casual tea
- What's a crow's favorite drink? CAW-fee.
- What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink? Sprite.
- What's Thanos' favorite drink? Snapple
- What is a lawyer's favorite drink? a subPOENA COLADA!
- What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff.
- What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAAAAH!!!!
- What's The Headless Horseman's Favorite Drink? Decappuccino
Witty Favorite Drink Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about favorite drink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iced tea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favorite drink pranks.
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar
.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
The Irishman swore every word was true.
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.
"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
My two favorite "screw in a lightbulb" jokes
**How many irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
21. 1 to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink whiskey until the room spins.
**How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
Just Juan.
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy (real news)
A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Although, he admitted his favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber."
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WA-TA!
What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?
Anything on the rocks.
My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan.
It's nothing with a twist.
What is a soccer player's favorite drink?
Sham-pain.
What's a toads favorite drink?
Croaka-cola
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WatAHHH!!
Norwegians like to joke about the inferior intellect of our Swedish neighbors. This is my favorite joke:
A Norwegian is sitting at the bar and enjoying a nice drink. He turns to the large muscle man sitting by his side and asks: "Do you wan't to hear a joke about the swedes?"
The man replies: "Well, buddy, before you tell that joke I'd like you to know this: I am the current Swedish heavy weight boxing champion. The guy next to me won the Swedish wrestling championship five times and the guy sitting next to him represented Sweden in the Olympic games as a weight lifter. Are you absolutely sure you wan't to tell that joke?"
The Norwegian thinks for a few seconds and replies: "Meh, Not if I have to explain the joke THREE times."
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Jews
One of my favorite somewhat inappropriate jokes.
Moish walks sees Shlomo sitting by himself in a bar, drink in hand.
He walks over, puts a hand on Shlomo's shoulder and says "I'm so sorry to hear about the fire in your factory."
Shlomo gives Moish an angry look and says quietly "Shhh you idiot! That's on Thursday!"
What is a seal's favorite drink?
Club soda
Do you know what my least favorite thing about drinking goats milk is?
Getting the grass stains off my back.
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
What's Sauron's favorite soft drink?
Mountain Dewm
What is Harper Lee's favorite drink?
Tequila mockingbird.
What's a shrimp boat captain's favorite drink?
Hi-C
What is a Jawa's favorite drink?
Martini
What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?
0mg
What's a homophobe's favorite drink?
fruit punch
What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
Waattaaah!
What is a gay hockey players favorite drink?
Penal-tea
Dumb Nirvana Joke
I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.
What was o**... Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan on the rocks.
What is a junkies favorite drink?
Hepsi
A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
What is America's favorite drink?
Liber-Tea
I went to my favorite bar last night.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".
I love water. It's my favorite drink..
I couldn't live without it.
What's a White Supremacists Favorite Drink?
w**...-ade
What's a pirates favorite thing to drink?
Hi-C's.
What's Fred Flintstone's favorite soft drink?
Mountain Yaba-daba-do
^I don't know if this is original but it just popped into my head. ^^I'll see myself out..
What's a communist's favorite drink?
Leninade
What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
What's a ninja's favorite drink?
Wataa!
What's a ninjas favorite drink?
Punch
Chinese in the bar
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!
What's a Middle-Eastern Ghost-Buster's favorite drink?
A Djinn & Tonic.
What is a ghosts favorite thing to drink on Halloween?
Boooooooooooze
What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink?
Jack and squirt.
What's a 90's girl favorite drink?
It's like so duh
What is Thanos' favorite drink?
Snapple Half 'n Half
What's a North Korean's favorite drink?
A supreme liter
What's a h**...'s favorite drink?
7-up in cider.
What is one of Thanos' favorite things to drink?
A Snapple!
What's a pirate's favorite drink?
Arrr, sea cola.
What's a Queen's favorite drink?
Royal-tea
What's a homeless man's favorite drink?
Pover-tea
What's a mortician's favorite drink?
A morgue-arita.
In Honor of His First Emmy, My Favorite Henry Winkler Joke
Henry Winkler boards a plane and sits in First Class. The attractive stewardess says, "Would you like a drink?" and he says, "Yes, thank you."
She brings him the drink, and then asks, "Would you like some headphones?"
He says, "Absolutely. But by the way, it's pronounced 'Fonz.'"
What was the p**...'s favorite soft drink?
w**...-chata
Yeah, lame, but at least not a repost.
A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper, surprised and pleased, says, "Oh, really? Tom Collins?"
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer!
What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink?
Mortali-tea!
A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.
Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.
Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.
He places a twenty on the bar, and as he walks out, he bellows "When Big Tony pays, everybody pays!"
My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up of me making fun of her height.
So tonight I'm going to make it up to her.
I've got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show.
When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favorite takeaway which we'll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs.
Then afterwards I'm going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
My wife screamed when she saw a spider in the house and wanted me to kill him for her. Instead of killing him I took him out...
We went to my favorite bar, had a few drinks. I got to know him pretty well. He was a really awesome guy. I also learned he is a web designer.
What is the favorite drink of the Republican Party?
White Whine.
What's a geometry teacher's favorite drink?
Ovaltine!
My 7 year old made this one up today. Thanks, grandparents!
What's a Ninja's favorite drink?
Wa-thaaa!
What's a Mexican drinking worm's favorite book?
Tequila Mockingbird
What's Vladimir Putin's favorite drink?
A Molotov cocktail
