The Best 70 Favorite Drink Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Favorite Drink jokes. There are some favorite drink favourites jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these favorite drink favourite puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Favorite Drink Jokes and Puns
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
you know what Bruce Lee's favorite drink was?
WATAHHH!!!!
Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar
.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
The Irishman swore every word was true.
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.
"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
My two favorite "screw in a lightbulb" jokes
**How many irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
21. 1 to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink whiskey until the room spins.
**How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
Just Juan.
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WA-TA!
What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?
Anything on the rocks.
My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan.
It's nothing with a twist.
Bruce Lee's favorite drink
Wataaaaa!!!
What is a soccer player's favorite drink?
Sham-pain.
What's Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WatAHHH!!
You can explore favorite drink bartender reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean favorite drink schnapps dad jokes. There are also favorite drink puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What is a seal's favorite drink?
Club soda
Do you know what my least favorite thing about drinking goats milk is?
Getting the grass stains off my back.
What was Hitler's favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters
Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice."
What's an author's favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P)
What is Harper Lee's favorite drink?
Tequila mockingbird.
What is a Jawa's favorite drink?
Martini
What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink?
Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff.
What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?
0mg
What's a comedians least favorite drink?
Booze
What's a homophobe's favorite drink?
fruit punch
What's a Judge's favorite drink?
Guil-tea!
What was Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
Waattaaah!
My Utahn grandpa's favorite joke: why should you always bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing?
Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
Dumb Nirvana Joke
I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.
Your favorite drink must be ginger ale.....
cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
What is a junkies favorite drink?
Hepsi
A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
What is a Sith Lord's favorite drink at the bar?
A Palpitini
I went to my favorite bar last night.
A Chinese guy sits down next to me. I ask him "hey, do you know karate or some other martial art"? He says "why, because I'm Asian"? I said "no, because you're drinking my beer".
What is a pornstars favorite drink?
7 up n cider
What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink?
WATAAAAAAAAH!!!!
What is an english teacher's favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird
What's a White Supremacists Favorite Drink?
White Power-ade
What's a communist's favorite drink?
Leninade
What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
What's a trees favorite drink?
Root beer.
Chinese in the bar
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!
What is a ghosts favorite thing to drink on Halloween?
Boooooooooooze
What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink?
Jack and Squirt.
What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink?
Sprite.
What's a 90's girl favorite drink?
It's like so duh
What is Thanos' favorite drink?
Snapple Half 'n Half
What's a North Korean's favorite drink?
A supreme liter
What's a hooker's favorite drink?
7-up in cider.
What is one of Thanos' favorite things to drink?
A Snapple!
What's Thanos' favorite drink?
Snapple
What's a Queen's favorite drink?
Royal-tea
What's a homeless man's favorite drink?
Pover-tea
What's a mortician's favorite drink?
A morgue-arita.
In Honor of His First Emmy, My Favorite Henry Winkler Joke
Henry Winkler boards a plane and sits in First Class. The attractive stewardess says, "Would you like a drink?" and he says, "Yes, thank you."
She brings him the drink, and then asks, "Would you like some headphones?"
He says, "Absolutely. But by the way, it's pronounced 'Fonz.'"
A grasshopper walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Hey, we have a drink named after you!"
The grasshopper, surprised and pleased, says, "Oh, really? Tom Collins?"
What is a tree's favorite drink?
Root beer!
What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink?
Mortali-tea!
A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.
Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.
Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.
He places a twenty on the bar, and as he walks out, he bellows "When Big Tony pays, everybody pays!"
My girlfriend is very short and she gets fed up of me making fun of her height.
So tonight I'm going to make it up to her.
I've got a good bottle of wine and a DVD box set of her favorite TV show.
When she gets in from work I'm going to order her favorite takeaway which we'll sit and eat while we drink the wine and watch the DVDs.
Then afterwards I'm going to go upstairs and run her a nice hot sink.
What is the favorite drink of the Republican Party?
White Whine.
What's a geometry teacher's favorite drink?
Ovaltine!
My 7 year old made this one up today. Thanks, grandparents!
What's a Mexican drinking worm's favorite book?
Tequila Mockingbird
What's a Karen's favorite drink?
Whine
What's a genie's favorite drink?
Djinn and tonic.
What's a masochist's favorite drink?
Champain
A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a drink...
The barkeeper doesn't know what to do, so he goes to his boss. The boss never had a gorilla in his bar and he doesn't want his bar to becoma a favorite place for gorillas but on the other hand, he doesn't want to make the gorilla angry. So he says to the barkeeper: Serve him but charge him $30. Maybe he leaves then . The barkeeper does this and charges the gorilla $30. Then the barkeeper says: We rarely have a gorilla in our bar . And the gorilla says: No wonder with the prices here .
What's a lesbians favorite drink?
Liquor
What is a lawyer's favorite drink?
a subPOENA COLADA!
What are the Vikings favorite drink?
Mini Sodas
My Father's Favorite Joke
An old man and a bartender are having an argument. The old man keeps asking for aged scotch. The bartender gives him a drink and the old man spits it out and says its only 10 year scotch and he wanted older. The bartender gets another bottle and gives another drink. The old man spit that drink out and says its only 20 year scotch and that he wanted older. The bartender leaves for about five minutes and came back with another drink. The old man drinks it, spits it out, and asks what it was.
The bartender says: "How old am I?"
Whats a ships favorite drink?
Anything, as long as its not on the rocks!
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the favorite drink fruity jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working favorite drink famous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.