Favorite Drink Jokes
122 favorite drink jokes and hilarious favorite drink puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about favorite drink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Favorite Drink Short Jokes
Short favorite drink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favorite drink humour may include short favorite food jokes also.
- In honor of his passing, my dad's favorite joke to tell waiters Waiter: "And to drink, sir?"
Dad: "I'll have a blind coke."
Waiter: "I'm sorry?"
Dad: "You know, a blind coke. No ice." - Whats an alcoholic motorcycle's favorite drink? RUUUMrumrumrumrumrumrumRUMRUUUUMMMrumrumrum
- Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
- What's a trees favorite drink? Root beer.
- you know what Bruce Lee's favorite drink was? WATAHHH!!!!
- What's a Judge's favorite drink? Guil-tea!
- What is a Sith Lord's favorite drink at the bar? A Palpitini
- Whats a ships favorite drink? Anything, as long as its not on the rocks!
- What's a communist's favorite drink? Leninade
- What is the Grim Reaper's favorite kind of drink? Mortali-tea!
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Favorite Drink One Liners
Which favorite drink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favorite drink? I can suggest the ones about soft drink and energy drink.
- What's a comedians least favorite drink? Booze
- What is an english teacher's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird
- Your favorite drink must be ginger ale..... cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
- What's an author's favorite drink? Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P) - What is a pornstars favorite drink? 7 up n cider
- What's a Maths student's favorite drink? Probably tea.
- What's a Karen's favorite drink? Whine
- What's the favorite drink of every British serial killer? Casual tea
- What's a crow's favorite drink? CAW-fee.
- What is a video game art designer's favorite soft drink? Sprite.
- What's Thanos' favorite drink? Snapple
- What is a lawyer's favorite drink? a subPOENA COLADA!
- What's a necrophiliacs favorite drink? Doesn't matter, so long as it's stiff.
- What is Bruce Lee's favorite drink? WATAAAAAAAAH!!!!
- What's The Headless Horseman's Favorite Drink? Decappuccino
Witty Favorite Drink Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about favorite drink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iced tea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favorite drink pranks.
What's a zombies favorite drink
A stiff one
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar
.
"As good as this is," said the Scotsman, "I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there's a wee place called McTavish's. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth.
"Well, Angus," said the Englishman, "at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two."
"Ahhh, dat's nothin'," said the Irishman, "back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they'll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you've had enough drinks, they'll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!"
The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.
The Irishman swore every word was true.
"Did this actually happen to you?" they asked.
"No not meself, personally, no," admitted the Irishman,
"but it did happen to me sister quite a few times."
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out drinking
To their favorite bar and grill. Well they're having some drinks and laughing when a fire starts behind the bar.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he'll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell its a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues drinking.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My two favorite "screw in a lightbulb" jokes
**How many irishmen does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
21. 1 to hold the bulb, and the rest to drink whiskey until the room spins.
**How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?**
Just Juan.
Allergies
One day a guy decided to go to his favorite bar and grab a few drinks.
Upon walking in the door he sees a man who looks like he's about to get completely hammered as he's surrounded by several pitchers, so he says, "That's of drinks"
The man replies, "I had an allergic reaction."
Curious the first guy says, "What're you allergic to?"
"Life."
Honesty Is Not Always the Best Policy (real news)
A Florida man arrested for speeding and DUI admitted to police that prior to getting in his car he'd been drinking beer and watching "The Fast & the Furious." Although, he admitted his favorite movie is "Dumb and Dumber."
What is a mountain climber's favorite drink?
Anything on the rocks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a s**...'s favorite drink?
Punch
My favorite mixed drink is the M. Night Shyamalan.
It's nothing with a twist.
What is a pirate's favorite drink?
The HI-C!
(punchline must be said in proper pirate voice)
(this is what I do when bored at work not even ashamed)
What's an Optimistic Vampire's Favorite Drink?
B Positive!
(We were trying to think of jokes that would be on pop sickle sticks in my AP Stats class. I came up with this one. I'm not proud.)
What is a soccer player's favorite drink?
Sham-pain.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One of my favorite somewhat inappropriate jokes.
Moish walks sees Shlomo sitting by himself in a bar, drink in hand.
He walks over, puts a hand on Shlomo's shoulder and says "I'm so sorry to hear about the fire in your factory."
Shlomo gives Moish an angry look and says quietly "Shhh you idiot! That's on Thursday!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Paul Walker's favorite energy drink???
N.O.S.
too bad he can't handle the c**......
What is a seal's favorite drink?
Club soda
Do you know what my least favorite thing about drinking goats milk is?
Getting the grass stains off my back.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a male vampire's favorite drink?
A v**... Mary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
What's Hitlers least favorite drink?
Jewce
What's Sauron's favorite soft drink?
Mountain Dewm
What is Mr. Skeltal's favorite drink?
Mountain Doot
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was drinking my favorite liquor the other night...
...while sitting in front of my fireplace. I was feeling a pretty good buzz when all of a sudden I began to hallucinate, and out from the top of the fireplace sprung the disembodied head of Jane Fonda! Normally I would find this odd, but you know what they say:
Absinthe makes the hearth grow Fonda.
What's a shrimp boat captain's favorite drink?
Hi-C
What is a Jawa's favorite drink?
Martini
What is a Mathematician's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation?
0mg
What's a homophobe's favorite drink?
fruit punch
What is Lionel Messi's favorite soft drink?
Si, era Missed
What is an Italian with Alzheimer's favorite espresso drink?
Affogato!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Utahn grandpa's favorite joke: why should you always bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing?
Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
What is a gay hockey players favorite drink?
Penal-tea
Dumb Nirvana Joke
I was gonna tell a Dumb Nirvana joke About a girl I knew named Polly that lived On a Plain. Her favorite drink was Pennyroyal tea with crackers and Mexican Seafood, she had a sliver in her finger and once had an Aneurysm at School but Nevermind that.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was o**... Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A double Manhattan on the rocks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's h**...'s favorite drink?
Genocider
What did the Computer Engineer say?
What did the computer Engineer say when he saw his favorite drink?
ICT
Whats a zombie's favorite drink?
Egg noggin.
What's my ex-wife's favorite drink?
Infideli-tea
What is a junkies favorite drink?
Hepsi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
What is America's favorite drink?
Liber-Tea
I love water. It's my favorite drink..
I couldn't live without it.
What's a robot's favorite soda to drink?
Mountain Dew LiveWire.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Masturbinho's favorite drink?
Fappucino.
What's a pirates favorite thing to drink?
Hi-C's.
What's Fred Flintstone's favorite soft drink?
Mountain Yaba-daba-do
^I don't know if this is original but it just popped into my head. ^^I'll see myself out..
What is a boxer's favorite drink?
Fruit punch!
What's the eclipses favorite drink?
Moonshine.
My new favorite drink is a Steve Bannon
It's straight gin, but you drink it at 8 am while shitposting on the internet.
Chinese in the bar
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said, Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?!
No it's because you're drinking MY beer!
What's Louis C.K.'s favorite drink?
Jack and squirt.
What's the dyslexic martial artist's favorite drink?
Chai tea.
What does a baby do when it doesn't get its favorite alcoholic drink?
It wines.
What's a 90's girl favorite drink?
It's like so duh
What is a cat's favorite drink?
A whisker sour.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the n**...'s favorite drink?
Ayran
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite bar has a s**... on the Beach drink special three weeks out of the month.
The other week it's a Blood and Sand.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a h**...'s favorite drink?
7-up in cider.
What's a hobbits favorite drink?
Mountain Doom
What's a pirate's favorite drink?
Arrr, sea cola.
What's a homeless man's favorite drink?
Pover-tea
What's a mortician's favorite drink?
A morgue-arita.
What's a ghost pirates favorite drink?
Boo-tea
What's a washing machine's favorite drink?
Sock-e
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was the p**...'s favorite soft drink?
w**...-chata
Yeah, lame, but at least not a repost.
A larger-than-life character, Big Tony, walks into a bar.
Big Tony orders a drink. He bellows out, "when Big Tony drinks, everybody drinks!" The patrons of the bar all rush to get served their favorite tipple.
Then he orders some food. "When Big Tony eats, everybody eats!" Suddenly the kitchen is overwhelmed.
He places a twenty on the bar, and as he walks out, he bellows "When Big Tony pays, everybody pays!"
