Favor Jokes
131 favor jokes and hilarious favor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about favor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Favor Short Jokes
Short favor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favor humour may include short prefer jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- I went to the doctor to get a vasectomy. The doctor said, "This a really big decision you know. Have you discussed it with your wife and kids?
I said, "Yes, they're in favor 14 to 3.." - The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today. It is expected to dip into the teens.
- My wife ran away with my best friend... My wife ran away with my best friend. I don't know the guy, but he made me a huge favor so I consider him my best friend.
- One time my friend said to treat him like a god... So now I only talk to him when I need a favor.
- Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand. - My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones
- What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!
- I love women with tattoos It shows a history of poor decision making which generally works in my favor.
- I told my doctor I wanted to get a vasectomy. He said well now, that's a big decision. Have you talked about this with your family? I said yeah, and they're in favor 14-3.
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Favor One Liners
Which favor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favor? I can suggest the ones about favour and fortune.
- What did one pamphlet say to the other when asked to do a favor? Brochure.
- Yesterday I got in a fight with 1,3,5,7, and 9 The odds were not in my favor
- A man asks his ninja friend if he could do a favor for him The ninja said, "Shurikan"
- 87% of Russians favor Vladimir Putin The other 13% is still missing.
- If I got $1000 every time I did someone a favor I could be mistaken for a politician
- What do you call it when a cephalopod returns a favor? Squid pro quo.
- All in favor of using homophones interchangeably say "eye".
- If fortune favors the bold.. How come I was arrested for streaking?
- What's the favored drink among coronavirus victims? Coughy.
- I asked a couple of Marlins for a favor, but they wouldn't help. They were two sailfish.
- The weather suggests that Alabama voter turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today.
- I'm in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not.
- To all my American friends: Happy hunger games... May the odds be ever in your favor.
- What does a polite Mexican order at Wendy's? 4 for 4, por favor!
- We should have a horse for president. All in favor say 'neigh'.
Witty Favor Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about favor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean avail jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favor pranks.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to i**... usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
My favorite pornstar died last night.
I woke up today with mourning wood.
My favorite pokemon joke
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
My favorite blond joke of all time...
So two blondes were analyzing some tracks. The first one insisted they were rabbit prints, while the second blond was certain they were made by a raccoon. Back and forth they argued, rabbit tracks, raccoon tracks, rabbit tracks. Then they got hit by a train.
This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"
The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"
My Favorite Math Joke
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.
My favorite all-ages joke.
One day, a bear walks into a bar. He sits down at the counter, and the bartender comes over.
"What'll it be?" asks the bartender.
"I'll have a......
....
.....
....
....
....
...beer." the bear says.
"Alright, one beer for the bear. But I gotta ask, why the big pause?" asks the bartender.
"I don't know," says the bear. "I was born with them."
:)
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."
What's an epileptic's least favorite pizza place?
Little Seizures.
My Favorite Stalin Joke
Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says,
"Bless you, Comrade!"
My favorite blonde joke.
A blonde was tired of all the a**... she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.
A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the a**... anymore."
The man, confused, said, "Why are you hanging by your feet? Aren't you supposed to tie the rope around your neck."
She said, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe."
So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child.
So a man and woman are getting a divorce and are in court fighting for custody of their child. The judge ask the woman why should you get the the kid and she is saying how she was in labor and held the child in her w**..... The judge says good argument now Mr. Jones your argument.. He sits there and thinks for a moment and says if you put a dollar in a coke machine is the coke yours or the machines?
What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint?
Five Guys.
My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
My new favorite s**... position is called "wow".
It's where I turn your mom upside down.
What is Mexico's favorite sport?
Cross-country
My favorite psychiatrist joke
A man gets mugged on the street and is lying on the ground, suffering from his wounds. A psychiatrist happens to walk by and sees the man and says, "Whoever did this to you needs some serious help!"
My favorite joke when I was a kid..
There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.
The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"
The Italian throws out pasta.
The Chinese throws out rice.
The Mexican throws out oranges.
The American throws out the mexican.
What is h**...'s favorite video game?
Mein Craft.
What is h**...'s favorite reality show?
The Amazing Race
What's a p**...'s favorite position?
w**...-izontal.
Zing! This has been a productive day at work.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
My favorite joke from The Sopranos
A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?" says the wife. The husband replies, "honey, I love you, but i think a vase will work just fine."
Credit to Uncle Jun.
One of my dad's favorites about flying
"You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."
What's your favorite pick up line?
Mine is the ford F Series.
What is Jesus' favorite workout?
Crossfitting
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
My favorite s**... position is the JFK.
It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.
What's a r**...'s favorite dating website?
Ancestry.com
What's an author's favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P)
What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette?
Yours.
What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...?
Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
What's a pirate's favorite explosive?
M80
Why is a bulimic's favorite restaurant KFC?
Cause it comes with a bucket.
My favorite tree died earlier.
Now I have mourning wood.
What is Mr. T's favorite month?
April, fools
My favorite part of a marathon is...
My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of v**....
My favorite rapper is 50 cent
Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.
Slip of the Tongue
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have s**... with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of f**...' one?"
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What's a feminist's favorite subject?
Triggernometry.
What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?
Little Seizures
With age comes wisdom
An old man was fishing at the riverbank. Along came a frog who said, "If you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful woman and grant you any s**... favor you desire!"
The old man thought about it and put the frog in his coat pocket.
"Aren't you going to kiss me?" said the frog.
"I'm 75, I'd rather have a talking frog!"
What is h**...'s favorite type of food?
Not Seafood
Your favorite drink must be ginger ale.....
cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.
If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
What is Satan's favorite headset?
S810.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear customer,
We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/i**... downloading on your network.
What's an Ethiopian's favorite book?
"My Life And Other Short Stories"
What's a pirate's favorite school subject?
Arrrrrrrrt.
What's a pirate's favorite body part?
The arrrrrm.
What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
No. The Navy you idiot.
My favorite machine at the gym?
The vending machine.
My Grandpa said, " Your generation relies too much on technology. I'm doing you a favor" as he tossed my phone into the toilet.
I laughed, and replied "No Grandpa, but yours does," as I unplugged his life support.
What's a vegan's favorite animal?
A high horse
What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Customer,
Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.
My favorite s**... position is the WOW
That's when I flip your MOM over.
What's a Communist's favorite video game?
*Don't Starve*
What's the police's favorite gaming console?
WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U
what's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy
My dad's favorite. (Get the groan ready)
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
What is a chef's favorite gun?
A-salt-rifle
I'll show myself out
What is Pac-Man's favorite cooking utensil?
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
Having s**... is like being struck by lightning
It's never happened to me, and the odds are not in my favor
My girlfriend wanted a favor from me
Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident
Me: Say no more
LATER
Detective: It looks like the killer beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet
What's a cop's favorite game console?
A Wii U
Who's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
Comet
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken p**... pie and omitting commas.
What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?
Conditioner
My ex wife's favorite joke.
Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a sheet of saran-wrap.
Doc says to him, "I can clearly see your nuts."
a Homeless guy saw a pretty woman standing on the railing of a bridge determined to kill herself...
immediately he saw his chance, he walked up to her and asked, "Lady, before you end your life, would you consider doing me a favor and have s**... with me?" Disgusted and crying the woman replied, "No, of course not you pervert!" the homeless guy said, "Fine, I'll wait at the bottom."
What is a s**...'s favorite thing to eat?
5 guys
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear Subscriber,
We are cutting off your Internet service due to i**... downloading.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Most people think it's the Arrr, but it really be the sea.
What's a Karen's favorite drink?
Whine
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Well, some people think its 'R', but that's just a hurtful stereotype.
Other people say that their true love is the 'C' which I can certainly understand...
But I find that it's actually the letter 'P', cause without it they're just irate.
My favorite s**... position is called "the JFK"...
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
My favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandmother
until my mom took the urn from me.
a stormtrooper's favorite store
is the one next to Target
What's your favorite asian stereo type?
Personally, I love sony sound system with surround sound.
What is a windmill's favorite kind of music?
I've heard they're huge metal fans...
