Favor Jokes
131 favor jokes and hilarious favor puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about favor that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Favor Short Jokes
Short favor jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The favor humour may include short prefer jokes also.
- I finally realized my parents favored my twin brother. It hit me when they asked me to blow up balloons for his surprise birthday party.
- I went to the doctor to get a vasectomy. The doctor said, "This a really big decision you know. Have you discussed it with your wife and kids?
I said, "Yes, they're in favor 14 to 3.." - The weather suggests that turnout will be in Roy Moore's favor today. It is expected to dip into the teens.
- One time my friend said to treat him like a god... So now I only talk to him when I need a favor.
- Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand. - My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones
- What did the large furry mammal say when the salamander who kept asking for favors went too far? I can't bear it! You axolotl of me this time!
- In Feudal Japan, there was a system that determined who sat in the highly favored front position of carts. You had to call Shogun.
- Got into an argument with a colleague so I bought their favorite Indian food, to attempt to make up. I tried to curry favor but they were having naan of it. I only managed to tikka them off more.
- Helen Keller in court Helen Keller was in court. Why didn't the jury rule in her favor?
They thought her argument was senseless.
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Favor One Liners
Which favor one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with favor? I can suggest the ones about favour and fortune.
- What did one pamphlet say to the other when asked to do a favor? Brochure.
- A man asks his ninja friend if he could do a favor for him The ninja said, "Shurikan"
- 87% of Russians favor Vladimir Putin The other 13% is still missing.
- If I got $1000 every time I did someone a favor I could be mistaken for a politician
- What do you call it when a cephalopod returns a favor? Squid pro quo.
- All in favor of using homophones interchangeably say "eye".
- If fortune favors the bold.. How come I was arrested for streaking?
- What's the favored drink among coronavirus victims? Coughy.
- I asked a couple of Marlins for a favor, but they wouldn't help. They were two sailfish.
- To all my American friends: Happy hunger games... May the odds be ever in your favor.
- What does a polite Mexican order at Wendy's? 4 for 4, por favor!
- We should have a horse for president. All in favor say 'neigh'.
- A Spanish man was exfoliating his face... he was doing a pore favor.
- NASA does not curry favor neither does it favor Curry.
- I do hope the odds are in my favor... ...because I literally can't even.
Witty Favor Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about favor you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean avail jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make favor pranks.
Still my favorite joke I ever made up. :)
A monocle walks into a bar. After a few drinks he starts to feel pretty good (and a little uncoordinated). He reaches for a cigarette, but the bartender stops him. "Sorry, buddy, but due to city ordinances we don't allow smoking in here. You'll have to step outside to smoke."
So the monocle hops off the bar stool and grabs his cigarettes to head outside. Meanwhile a second monocle emerges from the bathroom. They bump into each other as they cross paths and fall to the floor, hopelessly entangled. They try to get free but the more they struggle, the more tangled they become.
The bartender looks down on this travesty and shakes his head. "Hey you two!" he shouts. "Stop making spectacles of yourselves!"
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much in favor of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine.
The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.
When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
My favorite pornstar died last night.
I woke up today with mourning wood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a lesbian's favorite meal to cook?
Nothing. l**... don't cook. They eat out.
My favorite pokemon joke
What did pikachu say when ash fell off a cliff? Pikachu, that's all he can say.
my favorite joke I heard in school
Rudolph was a child adopted from Russia. One day Rudolph and his brother are arguing if it is raining or snowing outside. Rudolph says it raining and his brother says its snowing. They decide to ask their mother what she thinks. Their mother says its raining. When his brother asked why she agreed with Rudolph she said "Because Rudolph the red knows rain dear."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and m**....
I'm always trying to pull a fast one.
What is my favorite rhetorical question?
My grandpa's favorite joke
A man runs into a psychiatrist's office exclaiming that he has gone crazy. The psychiatrist asks this random fellow why he thinks he is crazy, to which the man retorts, "I've been wearing cellophane underwear for the past week!" The psychiatrist, in slight disbelief, asks the man to prove it. The man swiftly pulls down his trousers to reveal that he was wearing home-made cellophane underwear. After a moment of examination, the psychiatrist exclaims, "I can clearly see you're nuts!"
My favorite blond joke of all time...
So two blondes were analyzing some tracks. The first one insisted they were rabbit prints, while the second blond was certain they were made by a raccoon. Back and forth they argued, rabbit tracks, raccoon tracks, rabbit tracks. Then they got hit by a train.
This used to be my Dad's favorite joke. "The End of the World"
The world is ending by nuclear warfare and there are three men riding on a plane to a fallout shelter where they would be safe and ride out the devastation. The three men are: the president, the pope, and a young hippie.
Suddenly, as they are nearing their destination, the plane malfunctions and is going down quickly. The three passengers look at each other, then realize: there are only two parachutes.
The President hastily grabs a bag and before jumping out of the hatch says," I am God's gift to you all! I rule the United States! I am the leader this world will need! I am the SMARTEST man on this planet!"
Realizing they don't have much time the pope quickly says to the hippie, "My son, you have many more years to live than I, it would only be right for you to seize this opportunity and fulfill-"
The hippie begins laughing, startling the pope into silence, and says, "Don't worry Father, the smartest man on the planet just jumped out of the plane with my backpack on!"
My grandpa's favorite joke
This works better in my native language, but I am going to do my best to try to translate it effectively.
At the end of a good day's work, an accountant goes home and announces proudly to his wife "Honey, I missed the bus today but I saved $2 by chasing after it all the way home! "
His wife fixes him with a look of pure contempt and says "You fool!! You could have saved $75 if you'd only chased after a cab."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite blonde joke.
A blonde was tired of all the a**... she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.
A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the a**... anymore."
The man, confused, said, "Why are you hanging by your feet? Aren't you supposed to tie the rope around your neck."
She said, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Mary nursery rhyme
Mary had a little watch,
she swallowed it one day.
Then Mary took a laxative
to pass the time away.
Well, time went on and time went on,
and time still wouldn't pass.
So, if you want to know what time it is,
just look up Mary's ^brother ^in ^Omaha. ^He's ^got ^a ^Rolex.
Who is a chicken's favorite composer?
Bach
What is Unidan's favorite fast food joint?
Five Guys.
My Grandfather's Favorite Joke [word play]
A male prisoner promised a female guard that he would marry her if she helped him escape. This is an example of someone using a proposition to end a sentence with.
What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?
My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
My favorite psychiatrist joke
A man gets mugged on the street and is lying on the ground, suffering from his wounds. A psychiatrist happens to walk by and sees the man and says, "Whoever did this to you needs some serious help!"
My favorite quote.
"Deep down, every human being just wants to be remembered." – *anonymous*
My favorite joke when I was a kid..
There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.
The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"
The Italian throws out pasta.
The Chinese throws out rice.
The Mexican throws out oranges.
The American throws out the mexican.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a p**...'s favorite position?
w**...-izontal.
Zing! This has been a productive day at work.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
My favorite joke from The Sopranos
A man comes home with a bouquet of flowers for his wife. "What? Do you expect me to spread my legs for you now?" says the wife. The husband replies, "honey, I love you, but i think a vase will work just fine."
One of my dad's favorites about flying
"You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was h**...'s favorite drink?
Orange jews, 100% concentrated
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a r**...'s favorite dating website?
Ancestry.com
What's an author's favorite drink?
Tequila Mockingbird.
(Yes I know it's horrible :P)
What's a hipster's favorite kind of cigarette?
Yours.
What's a mod's favorite food?
Bancakes
Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop?
The Liquor store
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a Jedi's favorite brand of v**...?
Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
What's a pirate's favorite explosive?
M80
Why is a bulimic's favorite restaurant KFC?
Cause it comes with a bucket.
My favorite tree died earlier.
Now I have mourning wood.
What is Mr. T's favorite month?
April, fools
What is a mattress' favorite season?
Spring.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite part of a marathon is...
My favorite part of a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of v**....
My favorite rapper is 50 cent
Or as the British people now call him, 10,000 pounds.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Slip of the Tongue
Joe has a broken leg. Mike comes over and asks, "How you doing', Joe?"
Joe says, "Do me a favor: Run upstairs and get my slippers."
Mike goes upstairs and sees Joe's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters. He says, "your dad sent me up here to have s**... with both of you."
One girl replies, "Get out of here. Prove it?"
Mike shouts down stairs -, "Hey, Joe, both of 'em?"
Joe shouts back, "of course, both of 'em!" What's the point of f**...' one?"
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
What's a feminist's favorite subject?
Triggernometry.
What's Hillary's favorite pizza place?
Little Seizures
What is my girlfriend's favorite meal?
A dish called: "I don't know, you choose."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is h**...'s favorite type of food?
Not Seafood
Your favorite drink must be ginger ale.....
cause you leave every girl in Canada Dry.
What is Putin's favorite justin timberlake song?
Crimea River...
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
If you ask me what my favorite rock band is and I'm being subjective, I'd say The Who.
If I was being objective, I'd say it was The Whom.
What's a programmer's favorite drug?
Codeine.
What is Satan's favorite headset?
S810.
What's an Ethiopian's favorite book?
"My Life And Other Short Stories"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's a pirate's favorite school subject?
Arrrrrrrrt.
What's a pirate's favorite body part?
The arrrrrm.
What's a pirate's favorite branch of the military?
No. The Navy you idiot.
My favorite machine at the gym?
The vending machine.
What's a women's favorite thing to play with?
My emotions.
What's a vegan's favorite animal?
A high horse
What's Luigi's favorite dish at a seafood restaurant?
It's a Cala-Mario!
I thought of this joke while I was dreaming one night and laughed myself awake.
What's a cannibal's favorite kind of noodle?
Rawmen
What's a Communist's favorite video game?
*Don't Starve*
What's the police's favorite gaming console?
WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U WII U
what's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy
What is a chef's favorite gun?
A-salt-rifle
I'll show myself out
What is Pac-Man's favorite cooking utensil?
A wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok a wok
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having s**... is like being struck by lightning
It's never happened to me, and the odds are not in my favor
What's a cop's favorite game console?
A Wii U
Who's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?
Comet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My four favorite things
My four favorite things are chicken p**... pie and omitting commas.
What's Thanos' favorite drink?
Snapple
What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?
Conditioner
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My ex wife's favorite joke.
Guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a sheet of saran-wrap.
Doc says to him, "I can clearly see your nuts."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is a s**...'s favorite thing to eat?
5 guys
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Most people think it's the Arrr, but it really be the sea.
One of my favorite Reagan jokes:
A Soviet Diplomat goes to one of the farms in Russia, and approaches the farmer.
How are the carrots doing? Said the Diplomat.
Oh, the carrots are as big and orange as ever! Replies the farmer.
I see, and how are the beets?
Oh, sir, if Gorbachev saw these beets, he would cry with joy!
And what about the potatoes?
Sir, if we stacked the potatoes, they would be high enough to reach God!
The diplomat stares for a minute. But comrade, we don't believe in god.
Oh, good. Says the farmer. Because there are no potatoes.
What's a Karen's favorite drink?
Whine
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite s**... position is called "the JFK"...
She screams and tries to crawl out of the back seat while I go splooey all over her dress.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Me: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Unwitting person just living their life: R?
Me: R's what you'd think but it's the C they love!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
What's Sisyphus' least favorite band?
Rolling Stones
What is Earth's favorite pastime?
Making fun of other planets for having no life.
