Fault Jokes
150 fault jokes and hilarious fault puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fault that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of the same old jokes? Check out these unique and hilarious fault jokes! From a 'fault line' to a 'defective' product, explore these wacky jokes about anything that can go wrong. Laugh out loud with your friends and family with these riotous and 'wreckless' jokes about all things going wrong!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Fault Short Jokes
Short fault jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fault humour may include short fail jokes also.
- I told my wife, "I feel bad for saying this but you are getting loose and it doesn't feel as good anymore" She replied, "don't feel bad, it's not your fault!"
- I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything... It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
- What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him? Sorry, my fault.
- My sister sat on my glasses and broke them... I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first
- I had the rudest, slowest, nastiest cashier today! I guess it's my own fault for using the self checkout lane.
- What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake? That wasn't my fault.
Courtesy of my 11 year old daughter. - So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool. I filed a request for a new speaker, but the company responded "it's not our fault the pool was empty".
- My gf told me to stop being childish, she just wants to come in for a talk not my fault she cant remember the password to my pillow fortress
- Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain. Her husband strokes her back and says, "I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"
She says, "Don't worry. It's not your fault." - I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them! to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on
Share These Fault Jokes With Friends
Fault One Liners
Which fault one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fault? I can suggest the ones about error and fuse.
- My wife says that I only have 2 major faults I don't listen, and something else
- Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts? It's not my fault I'm blind.
- I haven't talk to my wife in 2 years Not my fault, I just wouldn't interrupt her.
- What did the earthquake say to all of its victims? Oh, sorry...my fault.
- It's not my fault that I'm lazy. It walks in the family.
- Why are seismologists so hard to get along with? Because they're sensitive to a fault.
- My dad always told me, "Don't be quick to find faults"... Good man, terrible geologist...
- If a crack forms in your backyard. Is it your fault?
- My ex hated when I started dating her twin sister. Like it's my fault they're conjoined.
- I feel bad for Nepal, but tectonically, it's their fault. Too soon?
- Why are earthquakes always found guilty? Because they are at fault
- [spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.
- Some people refuse to admit their faults. I would, if I had any.
- One tension plate bumps into another plate... "Sorry, that was my fault!"
- Figured out who to blame for the earthquakes. It's the earth's fault.
Not My Fault Jokes
Here is a list of funny not my fault jokes and even better not my fault puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friends in Germany were complaining that they couldn't find a good bagel anywhere...
well whose fault is that? - My girlfriend got really upset when we watched the Harry Potter movies back to back It isn't my fault I was the one facing the tv
- Cops smashed my phone. Cops smashed my phone. Well it's my fault for having it on the dark mode.
- Geology rocks but geography is where it's at... What did the tectonic plates say when they bumped into each other?
My fault, sorry! - This woman got mad I was reading the back of her pants It's not my fault I have to read things in braille
- As a plumber's assistant, I'm always being ordered around... "Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God's sake... turn off the water works!" It's not my fault, I'm just an emotional guy.
- A doctor fell into a watering hole. Its his own fault. He should have attended to the sick and left the well alone.
- Oklahoma asked California about all these earthquakes recently. California said "It's not our fault."
- My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.
- It's Trump's own fault that he lost... He spent 4 years saying, "Make America Great Again", so this week 74 million people finally did.
Fault Line Jokes
Here is a list of funny fault line jokes and even better fault line puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I could never marry a tennis line judge... They always point out your faults.
- What do you call a border dispute along tectonic plates that's settled through improv? Whose Fault Line is it Anyway?
- If Murphy's Law is correct, then everything east of the San Andreas fault line will slide into the ocean.
- Citizens of California are trying to split the state into three separate states before the San Andreas Fault line does
- What was the fault line doing in their bedroom? Getting San Andreas
- I tried getting a fault line to be serious. But all I got was wisecracks.
Comical Fault Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about fault you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean fortune jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fault pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for s**..., my wife screamed at me. I'm really disappointed.
You can hardly blame me, I answered. It's not like I was getting any from you.
Well, that's your own fault, she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it.
Impact of a job change.
A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something
Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop
The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"
Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"
Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs
A Chemist and a Psychologist walk into a bar....
A Chemist and a Psychologist walk into a bar. The chemist says to the bartender "I'll have one h two oh please". The psychologist, in a fleeting fit of flaunting his intelligence, said "I'll have a jack and coke, it's all my mother's fault."
The last fight I had with my wife was my fault.
She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, "Dust."
An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.
A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.
The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"
The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."
Did you hear about the scrupulous seismologist?
He was honest to a fault.
Jesus walked into a tavern and saw a man who could not walk.
He said,
"FRIEND, HAVE YOU BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT AT WORK THAT WASN'T YOUR FAULT?!"
Flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday
We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.
"Hey folks...um yea sorry about that rough landing...
...wasn't the captains fault,
...definitely wasn't my fault,
...it was the asphalt."
The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just thought this when making a coffee, I'm sorry...
I've grown a f**... where I love to lick milk off white women's feet, I've been labelled a racist though... it's not my fault I'm black toes intolerant.
Thank you, thank you very much *hangs head in shame*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a woman apologize to a man?
I'm sorry, but it's your fault.
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...
"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.
Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!
What did San Andreas said to the Earthquake?
This is all your fault!
I received a text message from an unknown number
"I'm sorry. It's not your fault. I met someone else. Please don't call me anymore!"
... Even other people's girlfriends are dumping me now
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Yesterday I f**... in a Apple Store and everyone got mad at me
It's not my fault they don't have Windows
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why wasn't Caitlyn Jenner charged with vehicular manslaughter?
It wasn't her fault. Her t**... slipped.
Tectonic Plates
One tectonic plate said to the other, "I'm addicted to crack".
The other said, "It's your fault"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The baby
Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…
Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault.
There are 2 kinds of programmers
Those who understand pointers and
Segmentation fault (core dumped)
I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign
I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it.
A truck driver runs over a woman. Whose fault is it?
The truck driver's, he was driving through her kitchen.
"I've been in 3 emotionally abusive relationships"
Said Dave to his new friend.
"I'm so sorry!"
"Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two mortal enemies get lost in the desert...
Two mortal enemies get lost in the desert. "It's all your fault!" Guy #1 says. "No, it's all your fault!" Guy #2 says. Suddenly, guy #1 finds a genie lamp. The genie appears, and says, "I can grant each of you one wish.". Guy #1 says, "I want 2x what he gets!". "Very well, what is your wish, Guy #2?" The genie asked. Guy #2 grinned, and says, "I want to be beaten half to death!"
Two seismologists have divided California into North and South to be monitored for earthquakes. A deadly magnitude 9 happens right in the middle
The North seismologist says: "why didn't you see the earthquake coming?!"
The South seismologist says: "It's not my Fault!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I lost my job at the hospital today for s**... assault....
It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
It is said that Bill Gates once f**... in an Apple store which stank up the entire place.
But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.
No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.
A religious old lady prayed everyday for wealth...
She had lived a life free of sin and had suffered greatly through no fault of her own. Every day she went to her local church and prayed:
"God, i have been all my life, please, let me win the lottery"
Every day for many years she did this, until one day, the church roof split open and a booming voice commanded:
"WELL AT LEAST MEET ME HALFWAY AND BUY A TICKET!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a doctor after being hit by a car...
Dr. : How did it happen?
Man: I was sunbathing when a female driver ran over me.
Dr. : I would say it's your fault. It's common sense not to sunbathe in the lawn when you know there are female drivers on the road.
Man: But doctor I was sunbathing on the roof!
What was Lenin's favourite book?
The Fault in our Tsars.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I f**... in Apple and they kicked me out
It's not my fault they don't have windows
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.
It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.
Why do tectonic plates keep rubbing each other up without any reason?
They have some dispute over whose fault it is.
A man rolls up in the workshop with his car
The mechanic asks:
"Woa there, what did you do with that? The Bumper is ruined!"
The man replies:
"Yeah, I kinda ran over a frenchman"
The mechanic replies:
"What? I mean all the mud there, I don't see any blood"
The man replies:
"Not my fault he ran into the field to escape!"
And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars
"Cancer?"
"Cancer."
I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.
It was my manager's fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night "I've cooked dinner," she screamed, "And if you're not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog."
"Woooah! That's bang out of order!" I said, "It's not his fault."
A man driving a truck hits a woman who's fault is it?
The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I got expelled from school on pajama day.
Its not my fault I sleep n**....
Mom always told me to be positive...
So in a way, this pregnancy test is actually her fault.
An exasperated and weary Joseph asked the innkeeper, "Do you have any rooms?"
The innkeeper shook his head and replied, "No, we're all full."
Joseph pleaded, "Listen, my wife is pregnant..."
The innkeeper retorted, "Hey, that's not my fault!"
Joseph shouted, "It's not mine, either!!"
I'm currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.
I'm calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.
A man stayed late at the pub after work when he got a call from his wife
Wife: "I've cooked your dinner and if you're not back in 10 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog!"
Man: "Hey, it's not his fault!"
A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor
A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.
The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."
A man runs over a woman in his car. Who's fault is it?
The man's, he shouldn't drive in the kitchen.
My wife asked if I had paid the Water and Electric bills.
Of course, I had forgotten to, but not wanting to lie or admit fault, I just told her that they were both current.
My girlfriend says she wants to see other people
I told her a thousand times it's not my fault she's blind
So today I smashed my van in to the side of this blonde lasses car...
It was totally my fault, the car was a write off and the girl was very shook up, you could tell she was in shock so I told her I had a few cans of beer in the back of my van if she wanted them to get over the shock ..... She accepted, drunk a few then asked me if I was having one, I told her I'd wait until the police had been.
What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry?
It's your fault we're in this jam
My dad asked me
"Son, have I been a good father?"
I said "Dad, you're the best! Why do you ask?"
He said, "I wanted to make sure the way you turned out is your fault."
I've been banned from all McDonald's for destroying a restaurant and killing 6 people.
It wasn't my fault, the sign said to drive through.
My wife asked me if these pants make her look fat.
Being a wise man, I said Yes!
It's all the pants' fault.
I'm not a narcissist, but if I am...
It's probably your fault.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
For all of his faults, h**... was noteworthy as a dedicated artist.
In fact, the last thing he did before he died was paint the wall of his bunker.
Why wouldn't the ref apologize to Serena Williams?
It wasn't his fault
My wife appears to have had her identity stolen.
Some woman at the mall just parked really badly and had a go at me like it was my fault.
A man is planning his vacation,
As he does so, a friend swings by and offers to help:
-Hey man, may I suggest the Maldives? Had an amazing time there.
-I'm not taking any advice from you! Back in 98, you suggested Rome, I went there and my wife got pregnant, in 2007 you suggested Brazil, I went there and my wife got pregnant, then, in 2013 you suggested France, and, guess what? My wife got pregnant, again!
-Well that's not my fault! You should just start taking your wife with you!
