fault Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious fault puns

I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex, my wife screamed at me. I'm really disappointed.

You can hardly blame me, I answered. It's not like I was getting any from you.


Well, that's your own fault, she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it.

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I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex, my wife screamed at me.

I can't believe that you've been visiting prostitutes for sex, my wife screamed at me. I'm really disappointed. You can hardly blame me, I answered. It's not like I was getting any from you. Well, that's your own fault, she replied. You never told me you were willing to pay for it.

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I've had enough of Christmas. All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids ask for and what happens Christmas morning? That fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit for it!

Still I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.

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I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything...

It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.

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"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor...

"Push harder" I shouted at my wife while she was in labor.
"Screw you" she screamed back at me.

Bit harsh I thought...... it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital!

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A policeman searched me last night...

A policeman searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"It's not my fault," I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he laughed.
I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me to!"

"Go on then." he smiled, handing me the bag.

After flushing them, he looked at me and said, "Well, show me your pocket then."

"What for?" I asked.

He said, "The drugs."

I said, "What drugs?"

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I once farted in the Apple Store and everybody got pissed

It's not my fault they don't have Windows

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What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

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I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me.

It's not my fault they don't have Windows.

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I farted in the apple store and everyone got pissed

not my fault they don't have windows

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A man stayed late at the pub after work when he got a call from his wife

Wife: "I've cooked your dinner and if you're not back in 10 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog!"


Man: "Hey, it's not his fault!"

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My wife was in the height of labour. Screaming in agony as I mopped her brow. She turned to me and grabbed my hand. Her face scrunched up and staring deep into my eyes, she let out a hiss and shouted, "THIS IS ALL YOUR FUCKING FAULT!!"

I smiled and calmly replied, "Well if you remember rightly, I wanted to do you up the arse but you said it'd be too painful"

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"Push harder!" I shouted to my wife, while she was in labor…

"Fuck off you bastard!" she screamed back at me.

Bit harsh, I thought - it wasn't my fault the car broke down on the way to the hospital.

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One day, a taxi cab passenger touched...

a new cab driver on his shoulder to ask him something. The driver squealed EEEEEEEEEE! , lost control of car, and screeched to a stop after mounting the sidewalk. The passenger apologised profusely & said: "I had no idea you would be startled by me tapping your shoulder!"

Driver replied: Im sorry it's not your fault; I used to be funeral driver for 25 years.

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I farted in an Apple Store today and got thrown out because of it

Not my fault they don't have Windows

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A police officer searched me...

A police officer searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs. It's not my fault, I said, Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again. Do you really expect me to believe that? he laughed. I said, I'll prove it to you if you want me to! Go on then. He smiled, handing me the bag. After flushing them, he looked at me and said, Well, show me your pocket then. What for? I asked. He said, The drugs. I said, What drugs?

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My sister sat on my glasses and broke them...

I suppose it's my fault for not taking them off first

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I farted in an Apple store today and everyone yelled at me...

Like it's my fault they don't have Windows...

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What did one earthquake say to the other earthquake?

That wasn't my fault.


Courtesy of my 11 year old daughter.

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So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool.

I filed a request for a new speaker, but the company responded "it's not our fault the pool was empty".

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One tectonic plate bumped into another and said

"Sorry. My fault"

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My gf told me to stop being childish, she just wants to come in for a talk

not my fault she cant remember the password to my pillow fortress

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Why do girls always get mad when I try to read their shirts?

It's not my fault I'm blind.

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What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

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One tectonic plate bumped into the another..

and said "Sorry, My fault.."

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Woman is at a maternity hospital in a lot of pain.

Her husband strokes her back and says, "I'm sorry sweety, you have to go through this"

She says, "Don't worry. It's not your fault."

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one tectonic plated bumped into another...

"Sorry my fault"

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I lost my job at the hospital today for sexual assault....

It's not my fault that they put up a sign that said, 'stroke patients downstairs'.

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A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.

The driver screams and nearly crashes the car into a tree.

"Holy shit! You scared me."

"Sorry"

"Oh no, it's not your fault. This is my first day at this job. I've been driving a hearse for the last 25 years."

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I'm really annoyed, my wifes sister sat on my glasses and broke them!

to be fair, it was probably my fault for leaving them on

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An exasperated and weary Joseph asked the innkeeper, "Do you have any rooms?"

The innkeeper shook his head and replied, "No, we're all full."

Joseph pleaded, "Listen, my wife is pregnant..."

The innkeeper retorted, "Hey, that's not my fault!"

Joseph shouted, "It's not mine, either!!"

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My friends in Germany were complaining that they couldn't find a good bagel anywhere...

well whose fault is that?

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My girlfriend got really upset when we watched the Harry Potter movies back to back

It isn't my fault I was the one facing the tv

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A policeman...

A policeman searched me in a nightclub toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"It's not my fault," I said, "every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" He laughed.

I said, "I'll prove it to you if you want me too!"

"Go on then," he smiled, handing me the bag.

After flushing them, he looked at me and said, "well, show me your pocket then."

"What for?" I asked.

He said, "the drugs."

I said, "what drugs."

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Don't make fun of Kim Jong Un just because of his condition.

It's not his fault he suffers from projectile dysfunction.

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All the mathematical functions went to a party...

There they saw the exponential function sitting by himself

They poked him, "c'mon man, join the party"

To which he replied, "it's not my fault, eveytime I try to integrate, I just end up with myself"

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Yesterday I farted in a Apple Store and everyone got mad at me

It's not my fault they don't have Windowsο»Ώ

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Bill Gates: "So today I farted in an apple store and everybody was pissed...

hey, its not my fault they dont have windows!"

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A man is riding in the back of a taxi...

and the taxi driver is silent and concentrated on the road. Wanting to ask a question, the man taps the driver on the shoulder and says "Hey, buddy!" The driver screams and loses control of the taxi and crashes into a pole. The man says "Wow I didn't know me tapping you would scare you so much!" The driver replies, "It's not you're fault. This is my first day driving a taxi... last 20 years I drove a hearse!"

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Impact of a job change.

A taxi passenger touched the driver on shoulder to ask something

Driver screamed, lost control of the car, went up on the footpath & Stopped few centimeters from a shop

The driver said: "Don't ever do that again man! You scared me!"

Passenger apologized and said: "I didn't realize a little touch would scare you so much"

Driver replied: "Sorry, it's not your fault
Its my 1st day as a Cab driver...I've been driving a van carrying dead bodies for last 25 yrs

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I haven't talk to my wife in 2 years

Not my fault, I just wouldn't interrupt her.

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What did the earthquake say to all of its victims?

Oh, sorry...my fault.

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The baby

Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this… Β 

Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault.

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This woman got mad I was reading the back of her pants

It's not my fault I have to read things in braille

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What did one earthquake say to the other?

Was that your fault or mine?

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The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.

The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.

However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).

One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"

But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).

But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.

Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.

Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,


"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"


And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,


"Pardon?"

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What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision?

It's not my fault.

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It's not my fault that I'm lazy.

It walks in the family.

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As a plumber's assistant, I'm always being ordered around... "Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God's sake... turn off the water works!"

It's not my fault, I'm just an emotional guy.

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Flight attendant landed this one on us yesterday

We just landed on the runway and the flight attendant annouces a message over the speaker.

"Hey folks...um yea sorry about that rough landing...

...wasn't the captains fault,

...definitely wasn't my fault,

...it was the asphalt."

The result: a perfect mix of laughs and groans.

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I farted in an Apple store and everyone got pissed

It's not my fault they don't have Windows!

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Just thought this when making a coffee, I'm sorry...

I've grown a fetish where I love to lick milk off white women's feet, I've been labelled a racist though... it's not my fault I'm black toes intolerant.

Thank you, thank you very much *hangs head in shame*

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A doctor fell into a watering hole.

Its his own fault. He should have attended to the sick and left the well alone.

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Oklahoma asked California about all these earthquakes recently.

California said "It's not our fault."

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I once farted in an Apple Store and everyone got pissed..

It's not my fault they don't have Windows

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I farted in an Apple store

And everyone complained. Its not my fault they don't have Windows.

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What did one mountain say to the other after the earthquake?

Not my fault.

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My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them.

It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.

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Christmas isn't fair

You save all year to buy the kids their presents for Christmas and when you come downstairs on Christmas morning some fat cunt with a beard gets all the credit.



Mind you it was probably my fault for marrying her!

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My ex hated when I started dating her twin sister.

Like it's my fault they're conjoined.

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If a crack forms in your backyard.

Is it your fault?

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A woman is at a job interview

Interviewer: What do you consider your most significant fault?
Woman: Honesty.
Interviewer: I don't think honesty is a fault.
Woman: I don't give a fuck what you think.

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If a crack forms in your yard

Is it your fault?

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A Lady Threatened to Sue Her Husband's Doctor

A lady threatened to sue her husband's doctor because after he recovered from surgery he had performance issues in bed. She claimed that he could no longer get it up and therefore could no longer please her.

The Doctor responded with "How's that my fault? I only removed his cataracts."

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I feel bad for Nepal, but tectonically, it's their fault.

Too soon?

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There are 2 kinds of programmers

Those who understand pointers and
Segmentation fault (core dumped)

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I farted loudly in an Apple store and everyone got really pissed off at me.

But its not my fault they don't have windows.

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Yesterday I farted in an apple store and everyone got mad at me

Not my fault that they don't have windows.

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What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

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A truck hits a woman, who's at fault?

The truck driver, what the hell was the truck doing in the kitchen?.

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Why are earthquakes always found guilty?

Because they are at fault

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The last fight I had with my wife was my fault.

She asked me what was on the tv. I replied, "Dust."

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A police man searched me in a public toilet last night...

A police man searched me in a public toilet last night and found a small bag of class A drugs.

"its not my fault", I said, "Every time I try flushing them down the toilet they magically appear back in my pocket again."

"Do you really expect me to believe that?" he said

I said, "I'll Prove it to you if you want me to!"

"Go on than." he smiled, handing me the bag.

After flushing them, he looked at me and said,

"Well, show me your pocket than."

"What for?" I asked

He said, "The drugs."

I said, "What drugs?"

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A man runs over a woman in his car. Who's fault is it?

The man's, he shouldn't drive in the kitchen.

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[spoilers] Roses are red, the sea's full of salt

Everyone's dead, It's all Star Lord's fault.

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What did one earthquake say to the other?

It's not my fault.

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I once farted in an apple store, everyone got mad.

It's not my fault they don't have windows...ο»Ώ

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I broke my waterproof speaker by throwing it into a pool.

I filed a request for a replacement to the company but they denied my request saying, "It's not our fault the pool was empty".

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If a man runs over his wife, who's fault is it?

The mans, why was he driving in the kitchen?

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I lost my job as a baker when I made a customer violently choke.

It was my manager's fault for telling me to put my hair in a bun.

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An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

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bill gates farted in an apple store and stank up the entire place...

But its their fault for not having windows..

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Two seismologists have divided California into North and South to be monitored for earthquakes. A deadly magnitude 9 happens right in the middle

The North seismologist says: "why didn't you see the earthquake coming?!"

The South seismologist says: "It's not my Fault!"

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What did the ground say to the earthquake?

It's your fault!

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What did the Earth say to the Earthquake?

Sorry...that was my fault.

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I got expelled from school on pajama day.

Its not my fault I sleep naked.

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One tension plate bumps into another plate...

"Sorry, that was my fault!"

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Hillary is pregnant.

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she's pregnant. She is furious! Here she is about to run for President and this has happened to her.
She calls Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you???!!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it's all your fault!!! YOUR FAULT!!! Well, what have you got to say???"

There is nothing but dead silence on the end of the phone.

She screams again, "DID YOU HEAR ME???!!!"

Finally, she hears Bill's very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this?"

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I farted in the Apple store and everybody got pissed

It's not my fault they don't have Windows...

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A man driving a car crashed into a woman. Who's fault was it?

The mans, why was he driving in the kitchen?

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A Jesuit and a Franciscan were involved in a car accident...

A Jesuit and a Franciscan were involved in a car accident. Hurriedly they got out to make sure the other person was OK, each insisting that it was probably his own fault.

Then the Jesuit, very concerned for his fellow religious, said, "You look very badly shaken up. You could probably use a stiff drink." At that he produced a flask, and the Franciscan, who was indeed a bit shaken up, took it gratefully.

"One more and I'm sure you'll be feeling fine," the Jesuit said, and the Franciscan took another. Then the Jesuit took the flask and put it safely away.

"You look a bit shaken up yourself," the Franciscan said. "Are you sure you don't want to take a bit?"

The Jesuit replied, "Oh, I certainly will; but I think I'll wait until after the police arrive."

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A man hits a woman with his car. Who is at fault?

The man, because he should never be driving in the kitchen.

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A religious old lady prayed everyday for wealth...

She had lived a life free of sin and had suffered greatly through no fault of her own. Every day she went to her local church and prayed:

"God, i have been all my life, please, let me win the lottery"

Every day for many years she did this, until one day, the church roof split open and a booming voice commanded:

"WELL AT LEAST MEET ME HALFWAY AND BUY A TICKET!"

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The Mona Lisa was arrested for loitering today

But it wasn't her fault, she was framed.

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I once farted in an Apple store and everyone got angry.........

But it's not my fault they don't have Windows.

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I farted in the Apple store and now everyone hates me.

Not my fault that they don't have windows.

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What did one earthquake say to the other?

"I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

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My wife's sister

My sister-in-law sat on my glasses and broke them. It was my own fault. I should have taken them off.Β 

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Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville Dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.

No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.

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My Dad is mean :(

So, today's my dad birthday, and I got him some socks. He then looked at me like I was crazy and called me a cunt. Jeez, not my fault he doesn't have any legs.

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Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well?

It's his own fault. He should have attended to the sick and left the well alone.

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I once farted in an Apple store...

It's not my fault they don't have windows.

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How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

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Figured out who to blame for the earthquakes.

It's the earth's fault.

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I farted in an Apple store and everyone got pissed at me.

Well, it's not my fault they don't have Windows.

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For all of his faults, Hitler was noteworthy as a dedicated artist.

In fact, the last thing he did before he died was paint the wall of his bunker.

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I didnt learn anything in college...

I guess it was kind of my fault though. I double majored in psychology, and reverse psychology.

(Stolen from BJ Novak)

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Two mortal enemies get lost in the desert...

Two mortal enemies get lost in the desert. "It's all your fault!" Guy #1 says. "No, it's all your fault!" Guy #2 says. Suddenly, guy #1 finds a genie lamp. The genie appears, and says, "I can grant each of you one wish.". Guy #1 says, "I want 2x what he gets!". "Very well, what is your wish, Guy #2?" The genie asked. Guy #2 grinned, and says, "I want to be beaten half to death!"

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The US postal service releases a stamp of Donald Trump

After sometime, reports start to come in that the stamp was not sticking. Infuriated that his own stamps were not working, Trump conducted a $1,300,000 investigation to find out what happened. After eliminating all of the possibilities, they observe the post office to see if the fault was on the consumers end. They soon found out that people were spitting on the wrong side.

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Hilary Clinton is pregnant....

Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she's pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: "How could you have let this happen? With all that's going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you? ? !!! I can't believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say? ? ? "There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, "Did you hear me? ? !! " Finally she hears Bill's very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, "Who is this? "

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A man, a woman, and a dog are all about to go over the edge of a canyon in a car.

The man and woman get into a heated argument about bad driving, and whose fault this is.
The argument is cut short by the car's horn beeping repeatedly while the dog barks excessively. Glaring at the woman, the man bitterly complains, "Well it doesn't fucking matter, we're about to die anyway. But I was right, you know; Bitches can't drive," right before the car falls.
When first responders get to the scene and the car is eventually hauled back up, no one really knows what to make of the couple's dog seat-belted into the driver's seat.

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"I've been in 3 emotionally abusive relationships"

Said Dave to his new friend.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Huh. I had them thinking it was their fault as well"

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I once farted in Apple store and everybody got pissed of...

...it's not my fault that they don't have Windowsο»Ώ.

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I farted in the Apple Store today and everybody stared at me.

It's not my fault they don't have Windows.

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I farted in Apple and they kicked me out

It's not my fault they don't have windows

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If a lesbian couple walks into a bar and the black bartender refuses to serve them, whose fault is it?

A white male. Duh.

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A Chemist and a Psychologist walk into a bar....

A Chemist and a Psychologist walk into a bar. The chemist says to the bartender "I'll have one h two oh please". The psychologist, in a fleeting fit of flaunting his intelligence, said "I'll have a jack and coke, it's all my mother's fault."

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I once walked into an Apple Store and farted

Everyone got mad at me, but hey, it's not my fault that they don't have Windows!

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Mom always told me to be positive...

So in a way, this pregnancy test is actually her fault.

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What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry?

It's your fault we're in this jam

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A truck driver runs over a woman. Whose fault is it?

The truck driver's, he was driving through her kitchen.

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A man driving a truck hits a woman who's fault is it?

The mans, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen

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So today I smashed my van in to the side of this blonde lasses car...

It was totally my fault, the car was a write off and the girl was very shook up, you could tell she was in shock so I told her I had a few cans of beer in the back of my van if she wanted them to get over the shock ..... She accepted, drunk a few then asked me if I was having one, I told her I'd wait until the police had been.

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I hate Christmas.

I work throughout the year to afford gifts, and the fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit.

Still I suppose it's my fault for marrying her.

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The devil finally gets to Hitler in hell.

"What the fuck?!" Says Hitler, "nearly 70 years you've had me waiting."

"It's your own fucking fault!" Replied the devil, "have you any idea how long it takes to process 6 million Jews?"

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My girlfriend says she wants to see other people

I told her a thousand times it's not my fault she's blind

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My wife called me as I was sat in the pub last night "I've cooked dinner," she screamed, "And if you're not home within 20 minutes I'm going to feed it to the dog."

"Woooah! That's bang out of order!" I said, "It's not his fault."

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A man is teaching his son to drive. NSFW

They both get in the car and the son starts to back it out of the garage. Before the dad has time to stop him, his son backs directly into his moms parked car.

Mom, inside, hears the crash and comes running out. "What happened?!"

The dad points at his son and says "it was all his fault"

The mom reply's with, "Well... how could you have printed the accident?"

Dad looks directly at his so and says. "I really should have just pulled out."

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My dad asked me

"Son, have I been a good father?"

I said "Dad, you're the best! Why do you ask?"

He said, "I wanted to make sure the way you turned out is your fault."

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What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!!

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What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake?

It's not your fault.

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Every year I work my ass off to get the kids what they want for Christmas but then

That fat bearded bastard gets all the credit. Mind you, It's my fault I married her.

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Why wouldn't the ref apologize to Serena Williams?

It wasn't his fault

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A straight man gets into a car accident with a gay couple

As both parties recover from the shock it becomes clear that the straight man was at fault here. Upon realising this the gay couple decided to call the police:

Gay guy, adressing his partner:"Jean, call the police."

Straight guy:"please dont! How about I give you 500$ and we call it even?"

Gay guy:"Jean, call the police!"

Straight guy:"Okay, hold on, I'll make it a 1000$!"

Gay guy:"Jean, call the police right now!"

The straight guy gets frustrated after being repeatedly ignored by the couple and shouts in anger:"Be that way then, you fags can suck my dick!"

Gay guy:"Put down the phone,Jean, this gentleman has an offer."

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My wife appears to have had her identity stolen.

Some woman at the mall just parked really badly and had a go at me like it was my fault.

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It is said that Bill Gates once farted in an Apple store which stank up the entire place.

But after all, it's their fault for not having Windows.

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Did you hear about the scrupulous seismologist?

He was honest to a fault.

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I've had enough of Christmas!

All year long I work my fingers to the bone to buy all the presents that my kids asked for, and what happens on Christmas morning? That fat fucker with the beard gets all the credit for it.

Still, I suppose it was my fault for marrying her.

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And now, two guys bonding over their star sign as well as a short summary of The Fault in out Stars

"Cancer?"

"Cancer."

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The Devil finally gets to Hitler in hell.

"What the Fuck!" Hitler says, "You've kept me waiting for 70 years!"

"It's your own fault", the Devil replies.

"Do you have any idea how long it takes to process 6 million Jews?"

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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to attempt to screw it in and the rest to bitch and complain about how its mans fault that it's so hard to do.

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I failed the drivers test even though I stopped for the sign

I gave it plenty of time to cross, it's not my fault I hit it.

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Tectonic Plates

One tectonic plate said to the other, "I'm addicted to crack".
The other said, "It's your fault"

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Report Card

Eight-year-old Sally brought her report card home from school. Her marks were good…mostly A's and a couple of B's.
However, her teacher had written across the bottom:
Sally is a smart little girl, but she has one fault. She talks too much in class. I have an idea I am going to try, which I think may break her of the habit.
Sally's dad signed her report card, putting a note on the back:
Please let me know if your idea works on Sally because I would like to try it out on her mother.

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Halfwit Builders

Larry and Joe are nailing wood siding on a house.

Joe looks over at Larry and is shocked to see him picking the nails from his pouch, one by one, inspecting them, and throw them over his shoulder.

Joe yells, "hey Larry, what-in-the-hell are you doing throwing all those nails away for!?!?"

Larry yells back, "Don't yell at me, Joe! It's not my fault all of these nails all have the head on the wrong end!"

Joe pulls a nail from his own pouch and looks at it for a second, and yells back, "Larry, you idiot, don't throw them away! We can use those on the other side of the house!"

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I once farted in an Apple Store...

I once farted in an Apple Store. They got mad at me and I said it's your fault, you don't have windowsο»Ώ

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I farted at an apple store and everyone was pissed.

Not my fault they didn't have windows

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Once there was a prince who, through no fault of his own was placed under a curse by a witch.

The curse dictated that he was only allowed to speak one word a year. However, he could build up credits if he had not spoken for a year.

One day, a beautiful princess came to his kingdom, and he decided to refrain from speaking for two years so that he could say "My darling."

However, two years had passed and he realized he was in love with her. Thus, he decided to refrain from speaking for three years so he could say "I love you."

Then, after three years he realized that he wanted to marry her. So he did not speak for four years so he could say "Will you marry me?"

Finally, after nine years had passed, the prince took the princess to the most romantic part of the royal garden, stood on one knee, and said, "My darling, I love you. Will you marry me?"

And the princess said, "Pardon?"

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I'm currently writing a screenplay about two Jedi knights who fall in love, only to discover that their midichlorians are killing them.

I'm calling it The Fault in Our Star Wars.

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I'm not a narcissist, but if I am...

It's probably your fault.

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What are the best Fault puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Fault? Well, here are the best jokes about Fault to have fun with.

Joko Jokes