Faucet Jokes
40 faucet jokes and hilarious faucet puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about faucet that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Faucet Short Jokes
Short faucet jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The faucet humour may include short water tap jokes also.
- How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to assure the public that everything possible is being done while the other screws it into a water faucet. - Who won the race? Who won the race? The lettuce, the tomato or the faucet?
The lettuce was a head, the faucet was still running and the tomato was trying to ketchup. - How Many Democrats Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb Two. One to explain that they are doing all they possibly can to fix the problem, and another to screw it into the faucet.
- My neighbor asked me (IT Support) how to fix his leaky faucet. Not being a plumber I offered the only advise I have: "Have you tried turning it on and back off again?"
- Thousands of homeless water faucets die on the streets without food or shelter each year. Let that sink in.
- Michigan is the First State to Welcome Back Sub-$1 Gas Just flip on your water faucet and you'll get it for free
- A race between tomato, lettuce, and tap faucet Tomato, lettuce, and tap faucet were having a race. The lettuce was a head, the faucet was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
- why does the government have more information on people with electrical faucets? they are all wiretapped
- How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.
- A drummer trips and falls on a sheep, a candy brand, and then a running faucet *Baa Dum tss*
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Faucet One Liners
Which faucet one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with faucet? I can suggest the ones about fountain and bidet.
- Why do German shower faucets have 11 holes? Jews only have 10 fingers.
- What's similar between a racehorse and a leaky faucet? They're both off and running.
- The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today. No wonder my water bills are so high.
- What do you call a faucet that won't give water to gay people? A sbigot.
- Why did the faucet take a sick leave? He wasn't filling so well.
- I heard a faucet knocking on my door... Let that sink in.
- how do you fix a leaky faucet? ....don't pay your water bill.
- What kind of faucet is only Cold? Farrah
- Did you hear the news about the faucet? It leaked.
- What famous model controlled water in ancient Egypt palaces? Pharaoh Faucet
- I was trying to come up with a joke about taps... but I realized I couldn't faucet
- How do you rob a faucet? You mug it.
- What do you call a racist faucet? Spigoted
- You're so hot... You could make hot water come out of a cold faucet
- Why did the faucet turn on? It was feeling _wet_.
Leaky Faucet Jokes
Here is a list of funny leaky faucet jokes and even better leaky faucet puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Leaky Faucet Why was the leaky faucet so bad at soccer?
It dribbled too much.
Entertaining Faucet Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about faucet you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bathroom sink jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make faucet pranks.
The troubles of foreigners in Canada
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded.
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
**
Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.
How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.
My wife began reading 'The Exorcist'.
She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it over to the beach and threw it into the ocean off a fishing pier.
I went and bought another copy, ran the faucet over it and left it in the night table drawer by her bed. That night was the first time she ever screamed and fainted.
A prestigious neurosurgeon calls a plumber to tend to his leaky faucet.
The problem requires an easy fix and the entire job takes less than two minutes. Before leaving, the plumber says, That will be $200.
The surgeon was astonished. He says, I will be candid with you. I am a neurosurgeon and even I don't charge $100 a minute.
The plumber says, Yeah, I know. Before I switched to plumbing, I was a neurosurgeon too."
A patron in a Montreal restaurant turned on a tap in the washroom and got scalded
"This is an outrage," he complained. "The faucet marked 'C' gave me boiling water."
"But, Monsieur, 'C' stands for chaud – French for hot. You should know that if you live in Montreal."
"Wait a minute," roared the patron. "The other tap is also marked 'C'."
"Of course," said the manager. "It stands for cold. After all, Montreal is a bilingual city."
I spent many hours trying to attach a faucet to a donkey.
I tapped that a**... all night.
Life after Corona have become crazy
I went to the bathroom at a restaurant. I washed my hands, open the door with my elbow, I raised the toilet seat with my foot, I switched on the water faucet with a tissue then opened the bathroom door to leave with my elbow and when I returned to my table I realised....I forgot to pull up my pants!!!
