Fatter Than Jokes
33 fatter than jokes and hilarious fatter than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about fatter than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Fatter Than Short Jokes
Short fatter than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The fatter than humour may include short fatter jokes also.
- I went on a date with a girl from an online dating website... ... I was worried she'd be fatter than she looked in her pictures. Turns out he wasn't.
- If mass and energy are the same thing, how come the fatter you get, the lazier you become?
- TV's are getting thinner and peope are getting fatter So the distance between the two is still the same
- They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger But nothing has killed me yet and I seem only to get older and fatter
- With Christmas coming up, waist size is a big concern for my girlfriend. She says if I get any fatter it's over.
- A whale washed up on a beach and saw a person eating a burger He sung We are family
Even though your fatter than me
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Fatter Than One Liners
Which fatter than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with fatter than? I can suggest the ones about thicker than and thinner than.
- "What are you getting this Christmas?" asked my friend. I said, "Fatter."
- Why are cigars unhealthier than cigarettes? Because they're fatter.
- The new iphone Now fattering autocarrot
- No, those pants don't make you look fatter. I mean, how could they?
- There's a cool hidden feature on Tinder Keep on swiping right and girls get fatter
- People that grow f**... hair as they get fatter Are morebeardly obese.
- Why are black guys getting fatter? TVs are getting lighter.
- How do you know you are fat? When that anorexic guy says you are fatter than him.
- My wife is getting fatter... I noticed when her whip cream bikini turned into a one piece
- What's fatter than-... [*This User Has Been Banned*]
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What funny jokes about fatter than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean heavier than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make fatter than pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cowboy Jack
So I used to have this friend named Jack. He was pretty fat, and he thought he was a cowboy. He loved to ride horses. I was surprised they held him up. Well Jack just kept getting fatter and fatter. He refused to give up riding. Then one day he got stuck in his saddle. He tried to throw himself over one side, throw himself over the other, but nothing would work. Anyways, that was the day I had to help j**... a horse.
My wife kept using the word "hafta"
She would keep telling me, "I hafta watch my weight! Otherwise I might get fat."
After the 10th time I said, " Honey, you keep saying it wrong. It's, I hafta watch my weight otherwise I might get fatter."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Big b**... School Bully Get's Scolded
Teacher: Timmy, the world doesn't revolve around you!
Me in the back row: Get any fatter and it will!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two friends meet
1: how is it going, mate?
2: don't even ask. I had a slip of the tongue: my wife showed herself in a new dress and asked, what she looked like. I wanted to say: "far better, than the old one" and instead I said "fatter". She doesn't talk to me since 3 days. What about you?
1: I also had a slip of the tongue and my wife doesn't talk to me since a week.
2: what? What you said?
1: We were having dinner. I wanted to ask "could you pass me the salt" and instead I said "You destroyed 25 years of my life, you f...ng b...t**...".
Once there were two pirates who were identical twins...
These twins, the Tillery brothers, were named Arthur and Artemis, but both of them liked to be called Art. The only way that the captain and crew could tell them apart was by weight: Arthur was much fatter than his twin.
One day, the pirate ship was attacked by a Royal Navy ship. "All hands on deck!" The captain ordered. He pointed to the cannons and shouted, "Fire the heavy artillery!"
Hearing this, one of the pirates picked up Arthur, shoved him in the cannon, and fired.
"What did you do that for?" The captain asked.
"Sorry sir," the pirate replied. "But I'm sure you told me to fire the heavy Art Tillery."
Praying For Nothing?
A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. However, the atheist's life was good, he had a well-paying job and a beautiful wife, and his children were healthy and good-natured, whereas the pious man's job was strenuous and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day and his kids wouldn't give him the time of the day. So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked:
"Oh God, I honor you every day, I ask your advice for every problem and confess to you my every sin. Yet my neighbor, who doesn't even believe in you and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?" And a great voice was heard from above:
"BECAUSE HE DOESN'T BOTHER ME ALL THE TIME!"
Three prisoners
There men are sentenced to 10 years in prison. However, the judge has allowed them an unlimited supply of whatever they want, within reason. The first man requests any meals he wants, it is granted. The second man requests any drinks he wants, it is granted. The third man requests any cigarettes he wants, and it is granted.
Ten years later, the prisoners are released. The first man is let out of his cell, much fatter than before.
The second man is released... stumbles three steps, and falls over.
The third man is released from his cell, walks out, and asks "does anyone have a lighter?"